Postings from November 1, 2005 - March 31, 2006

Date: March 25-26, 2006    

I know; it's been a while. I've had to remove the tawk amongst yourselves board because spammers have found a way to advertise cheap drugs and other crap on it. I will continue this web site but it might not be every week. 

Happy, 

I'm worried. Your last post was on the 4th. Please don't tell me you're shutting down the site. PLEASE. This site has kept me alive. When ever I'm ready to give up, I come here and read.

M***

Dear M***

Thanks. I needed that!  I haven't gotten a serious letter since March 4 but I'm still hoping. 

happy(gladthere'sstillpeopleoutthere)shrink

And another cartoon that illustrates the difference between men and women:

Date: March 4-5, 2006    

Sorry I've been away for awhile. There hasn't been many letters and life has been very busy. Don't worry MK; I haven't packed it in.

Dear Happyshrink,

Would it be normal for an idiot like myself to misinterpreted compulsive-obsessive disorder as simply anxiety. It's getting worse and worse. I have changed my obsessions for something newer and newer as nothing satisfies me any more. I am into recording music, which I have loved for years, but even 12 to 16 hours a day is not satisfying me any more. I did start Ellaville this last fall and that is not helping. Also I have had EXTREMELY BAD effects from Zoloft. It actually caused me an anxiety event that just about killed me.

C******

Dear C******,

First off, is that your diagnosis or a mental health professional's? Obsessive-Compulsive disorder is a type of anxiety disorder that involves ritualized and repetitive behaviors to a variety of stimuli. While everyone can be a bit compulsive with regard to things like neatness, order, and even superstitions, people with OCD usually get to a point where these behaviors seriously impair their ability to function. My first suggestion to you is to get properly evaluated by a psychiatrist. If you have been and feel that your treatment is not working well, get a second opinion. 

The following information is not a recommendation for treatment. It is to make you aware of the medication you have been taking as well as medications used for OCD if that is in fact what you have. Elavil is one of the older antidepressants and not often used for OCD. Zoloft and other SSRI's are also antidepressants that can be used to treat some of the symptoms of OCD, but usually in combination with other medications. Luvox is the most common medication used to treat OCD, but here again, it doesn't necessary work for everyone. A variety of psychotherapies can also be used in conjunction with medication.

For the best results C*******, get yourself evaluated by a psychiatrist who will recommend a treatment plan that will be closely monitored and adjusted. Psycho-active medication works different for people with the same diagnosis and the combination of meds as well as the dosage must be regulated careful. Psychotherapy is also a good way of testing how well things are going. Get the help you need C****** and let me know the result.

happy(goodluck)shrink

And on a lighter note:

Why men should not baby-sit

Date: February 4-5, 2006    

No questions this week but an extra cartoon, compliments of Reverend AL. I call it, "When kids have too much creativity..."

Date: January 28-29, 2006    

Happy,

 (I'm glad you are 'cause I ain't right now.)  Well, it's not exactly that I am not happy, just very confused.

A couple of weeks before Christmas I just kind of seemed to hit my usual holiday funk.  I thought that as soon as the holidays were over, it would go away.  Well, it hasn't.  I saw my shrink a couple of weeks ago and tried to explain it to her and she didn't seem to be concerned. Maybe I should back up and try this again.  (Been doing that a lot lately too.)

My depression seems like it has been working overtime to kick my butt lately.  I'm having trouble keeping thoughts straight or even keeping a thought in my head lately.  I find myself absolutely holding my breath for extended periods of time.  It's not like I am consciously doing it.  It just seems to happen.  My body aches all over.  I have been doing some major scratching, but a lot of that has healed already. I cry ALL the time.  I did find out that if I scratch really hard that it stops me from crying.  Don't really know why, but don't really know that I care either.  I have really reached that point again that I just want to go to sleep and not wake up.

Do you think I should call my shrink back even though she doesn't have me scheduled to come in again until April?  I tried to explain it to her, but I don't think I did too good at it.  Please give me your opinion.  I really do value it.  Thanks.

T

Dear T,

I would contact your psychiatrist as soon as possible. If you can't get an emergency appointment, I would go the nearest emergency room of a hospital with a psychiatric department. You may also be suffering from anxiety as well as depression.

I don't know what your normal pattern of depression is for this time of year, but statistically, the month of January is even more depressing than the Christmas season in December. A lot of that has to do with the shortness of daylight and the colder weather. I'm not sure where you live, but here in the northeast, the weather has been quite mild (about 8º Fahrenheit above normal). Still, there are fewer sunny days, people are paying off the debt they incurred from the holidays, families with kids in college have their kids going back to school, etc.  

Whatever the reason for your depression (or anyone else's for that matter). The key is getting help. There are 70+ million Americans who suffer from depression. Only a third seek the help they need. Get the help you need T. Let me know what happens.

happy(tryingnottosingtheblues)shink

Here is something funny from a very good daddy, Reverend Al:

THE MOMMY TEST

I was out walking with my 4 year old son. He picked up something off the ground and started to put it in his mouth. I took the item away from him and I asked him not to do that. "Why?" my son asked. Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied. At this point, my son looked at me with total admiration and asked,

"Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"

"Uh," ...I was thinking quickly, "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."

 We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but he was evidently pondering this new information.

"OH...I get it!" he beamed, "So if you don't pass the test, you have to be the daddy."

"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.

......When you're finished laughing, send this to a Mom.

........or a dad who is trying to be as smart as a mom.

Date: January 21-22, 2006    

I'm sorry for missing a couple of weeks. Things have been so busy we still haven't taken down the Christmas and Hanukah decorations. There also haven't been a lot of letters either. So I am hoping you are all taking your medications. (even the one's not covered by your Medicare Part D provider).

Dear Happyshrink,

I think I've stumbled on a fundamental truth and I need an explanation from a male perspective. A year or so ago I dated this guy a few times, but I became convinced that his sexist, racist and homophobic comments signaled a basic difference in our values. So I stopped showing any interest in him. I also dated a man a few times who's company I truly enjoyed, who was funny, compassionate and who never made racist, sexist or homophobic comments. I showed a lot of interest in him and let him know that I enjoyed his company.

The man I stopped showing interest in continues to send e-mail, instant messages, cards, etc. well over a year after I stopped responding, each ending with, "Hope we can get together soon". The man that I paid lots of attention to stopped seeing me after a few weeks. Explain please: If I like a man should I ignore him? Do men only want what they can't have? Or do I simply attract sexist, racist, homophobic jerks? What gives? These are not isolated cases. It seems that the less interested I act in someone the harder they try (and vice versa). Is this a fundamental truth and if so, how come I am only learning about it now?

Sincerely,

Judi(betmy13yearoldgetsthisstuffbetterthanIdo)Blueye

Dear JudiBlueye,

The only fundamental truth that I know, is that as a man I will never really understand the true nature of women, and as a woman, you will never understand the true nature of men. I needed to tell you that just as a way of preparing you for my assessment of these two men of which I know very little about.

Generally speaking, men who are bigoted and narrow-minded don't see themselves as different from others unless others are the "wrong" race, religion, sexual orientation or socio-economic level. This explains why someone who is bigoted might be clueless to the fact that you find everything about his values to be repugnant. Given the fact that guys like him are usually told to take a hike (often using harsher and more obscene words), they might still want to pursue women who have been kind to them despite the fact that they have not shown any interest in seeing them again. (That might be you).

On the other hand men who are funny, compassionate and might I add "charming" are generally received well by all women; even those who aren't interested in pursuing a relationship with them. There are many things that may be going on with the guy who didn't call you again.

1. He may have found someone else that he likes better. (Not necessarily better than you).

2. He may like a lot of men, be phobic about getting too involved in a relationship so after seeing a woman he likes for a few dates, he disappears.

3. He may have his own self-esteem problems and may find himself unworthy of you and may rationalize that the best thing to do is to save you the pain of finding out how inadequate a person he is.

4. He have recently gone through the breakup of a relationship and he's trying to get back into dating, but he's just not ready to become intimate.

5. He may seem charming and unbigoted after several dates, but in reality he's just another dickhead. 

I am sure there are other reason's as well, but just as women are unpredictable, so are men. I'm sorry I don't have a more definitive answer for you Judi. Just keep trying.

happy(getsmorepredictableastimegoeson)shrink

Dear Gind,

Well you know how wacky your friend JeWitch is. Don 't you guys have cream down in Florida? Anyway, I hope those spaghetti trees that you and Edna have been growing yield a great crop. Nice to hear from you. keep in touch.

happy(wenttoaCreamconcertin68)shrink

Date: December 31-January 1, 2006    

Happy New Year

Dear Happyshrink,

Remember me ?  Edna ?? It has been a long time, huh?  Not much to write about before this week.  JeWitch has been in a very UGLY mood, but she has good reason to I guess.  Still .. how long do I have to wait to be mean right back at her?  How long do Jews do this morning thing?  And she is not only mean in the morning, she is mean and in a bad mood, all day, every day.  she has been wearing black since her grandson passed .. but lately .. ummm .. Well ..my daughter Lurlene said something about her being  "Goth ..." 

"Goth?? I asked.  Damn girl, it's hard to tell what what you are saying since you pierced your tongue."  I never did figure out what she was trying to say.  Maybe she was just saying "Gosh."

Actually I am not writing to talk about JeWitch.  I am writing to tell you that REAL REAL SOON I am gonna be SOOOOOOOOOO RICH !!!  And when I move out of the Circle K Trailer Park .. I know, I moved out of there years ago and into the NoName Trailer Park, but let me just say this .. It was NOT MY FAULT !!!  No matter what JeWitch might tell you one day about my move ..  I am back where I started.  The Circle K .. Kinda like a second honeymoon here with Bubba, but we still ain't married.

OH YEAH .. I am gonna be rich.  I have an invention.  I reckon it is safe to tell you about my invention here on your website. even if you get a  million visitors to your page, they are nuts, right?  They will never get the idea to steal my invention before I get it Co-operated .. 

You know, and I know FOR SURE your wife knows, **** HI WINDY .. I MISS YOU TOO ****  oh .. forgot what I was gonna say.  Oh yeah, you  both know how socks get lost somewhere between the washer and the dryer?? Well yesterday when I was looking in the dryer for something to wear, I noticed some crunched up dollar bills in the lint filter.  They always always ALWAYS end up there .. they get washed with your  jeans and somehow they get out of pockets and to make sure you find them right away ..  like you need to get dressed so you can go collecting coke and beer cans to buy cigarettes and you open the dryer and there is money.  Almost every time.  Not every time you open the dryer.  I won't find any more money in my lint filter no matter how many times I open the door but I bet when I use up all the clothes in the dryer and do another load, the next time I open the door I will find more money.

Back to my invention. I am going to invent socks made of dollar bills - I thought about making them out of 5 dollar bills, but then your socks will cost too much money but no matter what kind of bill I use I will never lose my socks again and I will always have cigarette money.  RIGHT THERE in my lint filter.  If you need a pair of socks, just open the dryer door and there they will be.  You don't even have to go digging through the clothes  .. or . . if you need cigarettes and for some reason there wasn't any money in your jeans pockets, then you can just buy a few packs with your socks .. PRETTY SMART for just a junior high school drop out , huh??  

So I will get rich that way .. with the sock thing.  I quit my job at Walmart already.  Not because I have gotten the Co-operation and the inventorship licenses and deeds [ see I am learning a lot about businessing]  anyhoo .. the reason I already quit my job as HEAD GREETER at Walmart is cuz Lurlene and I drive around from one laundry mat to another all day long. We even go back to ones we already been too .. and we open dryers and check lint filters when nobody is looking.  We make so much money .. trouble is, my own dirty clothes pile is almost touching the ceiling .. not only because I am too busy to do my own wash, but when my bank closed my account - account of I bounce too many checks. but that don't matter cuz now I see my laundry pile as a savings account.

Am I making any sense?  I hope so .  I am so excited.  and had to write and tell you about my invention and also about the Circle K .. wanted to tell you before JeWitch did.. doesn't matter what happened at the NoName, Just always remember .. IT WAS NOT MY FAULT.  Another reason I sound so weird and scutter brained is that I quit smoking today.  It is kinda hard .. but it keeps getting easier.  This past weekend I quit smoking twice, and it was much harder than it was today.  But I started quitting later today than I did on Saturday and I started earlier on Sunday.  Actually I don't really remember which was the hardest or the easiest day.  I bought a carton tonight with the lint filter money .. so I can't stay quitted tonight or tomorrow or the rest of the week maybe.  but by next weekend I will probably be ready to quit again, unless I change my mind or do my laundry.

See you in Manhatter ... That's where I am going to move when I am rich as Donald Trump.  JeWitch was in Manhatter a bunch of times this year.  First when you saw her . Then she went back for just a few days later.  She liked it so much [this is just one reason I know she is REALLY CRAZY] cuz in October she went back to New York again. She went there on October 23rd .. Her brother bought her a ticket and she went there for Cream.  Can you believe it?.. it cost hundreds of dollars to fly to New York for Cream and she could have bought some here for about 3 dollars at the Piggly Wiggly or even at the Super Walmart .. She could have bought 100 creams for what she spent to go to New York...  when I went to visit her after she got home, she came in to the kitchen and caught me as I was looking in her fridge and she said  "what are you looking for ??"  I said " I was looking for the Cream."  She called me an idiot and told me to leave.

Edna 

Cream comes from cows.  She went to Madison Square Garden for Cream.  I think she was just putting me on .. am I gettin smart or what ??

Dear Edna,

You are getting so smart, I can't even keep up with you. I hope you had a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Send my love to you friend JeWitch. I know she's still in a bad mood, but send regards from me and Windy might make her smile. You never know. Good luck with that invention. 

happy(stilllookingfor5bucks)shrink

Date: December 24-25, 2005    

Season's Greetings

Happy will be back next week with hopefully some serious questions but at the very least a letter from an old friend. Happy Holidays.

Date: December 10-11, 2005    

Dear Happyshrink ,

I am a 36 year old single parent who has just been diagnosed with a psychotic disorder.  After about a week in a hospital I was assigned a psychiatrist and a therapist who I am working with and who are both very good people.  My question is – what happened to me?  I was just fine and I just snapped suddenly.  Because of medication I have been able to get more or less back on track and will be returning to work soon but I find that every day I ask the same question – why?  Can you shed some light on why someone can be going along with absolutely no problems and suddenly have something like this happen?  I am told that things will get better as I get older but that this will most likely be a lifelong illness that I will have to deal with.  I have not shared anything with my children and only my parents know.  They are very supportive people and have been wonderful throughout this whole process.  Anything you can tell me would be a great help.

Wondering Why

Dear Wondering Why,

My first suggestion to you is to get a second opinion about your diagnosis. An acute psychotic episode can occur to anybody at anytime, especially if they are experiencing stress or trauma. Some form of substance abuse can also induce psychosis. I don't know what was going on during the time you had your episode, but unless your behavior over the past years was more impaired than you perceived it to be, I would not assume that your condition is a chronic one. Chronic psychotic conditions such as schizophrenia, schizo-affective disorder and bipolar disorders have their onset commonly in one's late teens to early adulthood. There are exceptions and it certainly is possible for you to develop a chronic psychotic disorder. 

Your letter implies that this has happened very recently. I am a bit surprised that you have been told that it will be a life long disorder based on such short term observation. Time will ultimately determine whether or not it is a transient condition or a more permanent one. I would still urge you to seek a second opinion. Please let me know what happens. Good luck and remember that mental illness is a condition that people do recover from.

happy(recovingfromlotsofthings)shrink

And here to spread some season's greetings, here is a cartoon from our old friend Reverend Al who is never short on Christmas spirit (or any other spirits for that matter):

Ain't it just like the human race to worry about the kid? What about the freakin' snowman?????

See you next week.....unless it snows.

Date: December 3-4, 2005    

No Letters to Happyshrink this week but here is some interesting quotes sent to me compliments of Judiblueye:

Date: November 26-27, 2005    

And from Judiblueye:

Things You Can Only say on Thanksgiving and Not Sound Dirty

1. Talk about huge breasts!

2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

3. It's Cool Whip time!

4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!

5. That's one terrific spread!

6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.

7. Are you ready for seconds yet?

8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!

10. Don't play with your meat.

11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.

12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?

13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!

14. You still have a little bit on your chin.

15. How long will it take after you stick it in?

16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!

18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!

HOPE EVERYONE ENJOYS!

Date: November 19-20, 2005    

Happy Thanksgiving

Dear Happy Shrink,

Well I made it through another night without resorting to cutting myself. I just can't figure out why this urge keeps coming up. It seems like an addiction and I know it can be addictive, but I used to smoke and developed a relatively stubborn addiction to cigarettes that doesn't cross my mind more than once every 10 years, so what's up with this? This cutting is guilt-ridden both before and afterward. I can sit in a group of delightful people, chatting about this, that, and everything, and at the same time be constantly distracted by the thought of wanting to be alone to cut myself. The ugly duality here is that the people who, in the moment, I want so much to get away from so I can cut, are people I like and I am happy in their company, so that stops me from excusing myself to go be self-destructive.

It's so crazy. Maybe sometime I ought to ask for a group confession about how many at the table are presently considering getting drunk off their asses and killing someone or themselves on the way home? That might put a damper on the conversation. And in comparison to killing someone, cutting doesn't seem too outrageous. But I seem to have made a great big thing out of this. It has been quite a while since I have cut myself -- like nearly two years (which, curiously is the same amount of time I was cutting to begin with) -- and I can't decide if I'll feel there is a sense of sabotage if I do cut or if the stress of fighting off the urge is worth the energy for the sake of an arbitrary record.

There was a brief interaction (for lack of a better description) between me and a friend of mine who is a therapist. It was completely innocent girl-stuff. We were talking about colors and what season of the color palate we each were. Then we extended wrists to look at the color match-ups of our skin. I suddenly became weirded out by the scars exposed on my arm and I switched arms, but there is a scar on the other arm too. In a completely unrelated event my friend had burned herself taking a pan out of the oven 2 weeks ago and we had joked about her burning herself. So, after we compared wrist colors she suddenly showed me how the burn was healing up nicely. That makes at least one thing clear -- she saw the scars. I don't know why that made me so cut-focused for the rest of the day. It's not like she didn't know that history already. I'm also confused about my feelings about not cutting. It is as though I have cheated my self of some opportunity to experience something, or maybe release something. But this morning I was happy to wake up and realize I hadn't cut. Now, as night comes on I'm getting all focused on cutting again and that would be cheating -- ruining actually -- that 2 year "record." which I don't really see a reason to keep counting anyway. 

I could go and talk to my friend, but I don't really want to talk. I want to wallow in the pain and blood. Unless I can dismiss the callings of my inner-vampire again... What the hell... Have I even asked a lucid question? Or am I making up excuses like cheaters do when they get caught.

Red-handed

Dear Red-handed,

No, you didn't really ask a specific question but it was a good vent and a necessary one. The urge to cut doesn't always diminish with time. Every day you decide not to cut is an accomplishment even if you don't think of it as special. The urge to cut may not be something you can eliminate from your mind, but it can be something you can choose not to do. If venting helps you to maintain your abstinence, then please feel free to vent. I would venture to guess that your therapist friend who noticed your scars also knows that a lot of smart, talented and even strong-minded people have had tough times and made desperate choices. Most therapists see cutters as survivors. You are a survivor. Perhaps you might want to remind yourself of this fact next time you are wallowing. By the way, wallowing isn't a bad thing either as long as it doesn't become an everyday event. 

happy(keepcountingthosedays)shrink

Something I would like to see on TV: 

Date: November 12-13, 2005    

No letters to happyshrink again this week. (Could it be that people are getting better???.....nah!!!! So here are some things you probably don't know.....(I knew 10 of these. How many do you know?)

Date: November 5-6, 2005    

Dear Happyshrink,

I am separated from my husband and I live with my 17 year old son. My husband is not happy about our separation and my intentions of getting a divorce but understands that I will not change my mind about this. I am trying to encourage him to have more contact with our son. I have tried to reassure my "soon to be" ex-husband that he is still a valued parent and as such we will always be connected through our son. Unfortunately, he has not maintained a relationship with our son and when I confront him about it, he always has an excuse. I am extremely angry and frustrated at him what can I do to make him realize that he needs to keep in touch with our son? He just doesn't seem to get it.

At my wits end.

Dear At my wits end,

You husband may never get it. But my question is, why are you intervening between the two of them? Your son is old enough to develop his own relationship with his dad. I can understand how the breakup of your marriage may affect your son in many ways. You can be a good mother and give him the opportunity to share his feelings with you. You can also make it clear that his relationship with his father is something that you support and encourage but ultimately he is responsible for as is his father.

My advice to you is to stay out of their business. Even if they have no business, it's still their business. You can not make your soon to be ex-husband a good father. That's his job. Work on being a good mom. That's your job.

happy(that'smyjob)shrink

 I never really liked squirrels until I saw this picture:

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