Postings from October 1-31, 2005
Date: October 29-30, 2005
No letters this week but here is some interesting thoughts about friendship: Are you tired of all those sissy
"friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually
come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that really
speaks to true friendship: 2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you. 3. When you smile - I will know you finally
got laid. 6. When you are confused - I will use
little words.
Date: October 22-23, 2005
Happyshrink, Can you please help me with some
psychiatric terms? My doctor says that I have major clinical
depression and unipolar disorder. I have been doing some looking
online and have managed to become fairly confused. What is the
difference between bipolar and unipolar disorder? How does it relate
to clinical depression? I'm not asking you to make any kind of
diagnosis, just clear some of the fuzz from my brain. Thanks. Dear T, Clinical depression may also be referred to as unipolar disorder where the symptoms include but are not limited to the following:
One who suffers from clinical depression (major or otherwise) may have only a few of the above symptoms. Another factor in diagnosis is how the depression impacts on one's work and family life. It is normal to have all of the above symptoms from time to time and this does not mean you are clinically depressed. Clinical depression impacts on one's ability to function over a period of time. Episodes of major depression are likely to last for six months or more. In some cases, major depression can be chronic and ongoing. I can understand how the redundancy of your psychiatrist's diagnosis can be confusing. Generally, they mean the same thing. I hope this explanation helps. happy(redundantlyspeaking)shrink Dear
Happyshrink, Remember
me? I wrote to you last November asking about going into therapy. Your
reply encouraged me to look for a suitable shrink on the net and within
the next couple of weeks I found a bunch. But I didn’t get past that
stage yet. A friend told me that she thought seeking therapy without a
proper disorder was free riding the social system (she didn’t know I
was thinking about going, we were just generally speaking). When I told
this to my best friend (I do have one!) she was kind enough to add new
depths to my confusion by pointing out that if I now sought therapy,
knowing I would be free riding the social system, then I wouldn’t
really need therapy, because it would be a sign of being confident
enough to claim it for myself… So I postponed. Now is not the best
time anyway, and am too scared of the opening-up-being-vulnerable part.
Plus, I don’t feel too bad right now anyway. Hopefully last years
feeling-kinda-down-phase isn’t something seasonal that will hit me
again now that sunlight is getting rare again. I’ve
been wanting to reply to you for about 11 months now, but I’ve been
very busy procrastinating. I’m doing quite a lot of that these days. I
guess I’ve always done it here and there, but last spring the
following billboard caught my eye and encouraged me to increase my
efforts:
Trouble
is, somehow things don’t get done! So far it hasn’t been too bad,
some nightshifts before a class here and there, postponing this and
that, but nothing has been irreversibly screwed up (yet). I am a bit
scared, though, that it might get me into trouble. Somehow the summer
passed much too fast for my taste, I wanted to get so much stuff done!
Where did all the time go? Do
you have any ideas how to stop procrastination? It does get stressful
after a while. I never thought not-doing-something could be such a
strain. Even doing something necessary like laundry I keep thinking that
I should be doing this other thing (one of the many other things). To do
one thing, I have to postpone something else, until one thing gets
urgent enough so that it can’t be postponed any longer. Instead of
working on my application for an internship (that’s what I really
ought to be doing and planned to do in July) I’m writing to you (which
I planned to do last November). The heavy conscience somehow takes the
fun out of both fun stuff and chores. Do you think this process, going
on for months, could lead to something bordering burn-out syndrome? Even
though hardly anything relevant gets done? I’ve
been reading the postings every week and even part of the archive when I
needed something to do instead of… Your empty mailbag really scares
me. But that it should be motivation enough to write more often. I’m
looking forward to your input! Psycho(ittookmelessthanayeartoreply)student Dear (notso)Psychostudent, Procrastinations is a common problem that many if not most people engage in. Among the reasons for procrastination include: Fear of Success Fear of Failure Issues around authority Fear of making choices
Clearly the first step in overcoming procrastination is understanding your own reasons for putting the specific things off that impact most on your life. Putting off cleaning out your attic may not change your day to day living, but putting off applying for an internship can. The 4 reasons for procrastination that I have mentioned can work in conjunction with one another. You can be procrastinating for a combination of reasons and understanding is not a simple task. It is not something I can analyze for you on this website. For some people such as yourself it just may involve seeking help. I know all the excuses and you can hold on to them. The fact that you wrote me tells me that you want something more. So this is the best I can do.... GET HELP NOW! There's no better time!
Good luck (notso)Psychostudent and thanks for writing!
happy(keeptheletterscomingfolks)shrink Dear Happy Shrink, I have been reading and enjoying your column for about a year now. When I first logged on I was in the midst of great upheaval and personal sorrow. I was facing the reality of multiple psychiatric diagnoses and even attempted suicide as well as self-injurious behavior. Through counseling, medication, and DBT I learned to find new ways to deal with life. All the time I struggled, I would read your column for encouragement and a laugh. I am happy to report that I am healthy and safe and thank you for the glimpse of hope you gave me in a dark place. S Dear S, Thank you for writing and sharing your story. People can overcome mental illness and it sounds like you have. That doesn't mean that you still don't struggle. You may need to take medication and you may also have ups and downs. That's not exclusive to mentally ill people. It is part of everyone's life. It's part of my life too. Keep reading and writing. happy(willalsokeepreadingandwriting)shrink And not for some more cute pet pictures: 5.
ALL RIGHT, WHO CHOSE WHO WE STAND BY? I HAVE
STANDARDS! 6. PUT
THAT NOSE UP HERE ONE MORE TIME AND YOU'LL HAVE 3 NOSTRILS!
7. IF YOU TELL THE GUYS ABOUT THIS, I'M PEEING IN
YOUR SHOES! 8.
CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT THIS DUDE LOOKS LIKE WET? HA
HA HA
Date: October 15-16, 2005
Dear Happyshrink, I don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but I've been a single parent since my kids (now 15 and 13) were 4 and 2 years of age, so I feel that I am somewhat of an expert at what it means to be a single parent. I have a co-worker who is just a few (3) months younger than me, and she got married just about the same time I did (in 1986). She has 4 kids, and is married to a man who is a pharmacist. She works 3 days a week in the same field as I do (I work full time). Her kids are in various after-school activities and sports. Recently this woman's husband has had to add hours to his work schedule due to the shortage of pharmacists in our area. So now, a couple of times a week her husband is not available to help chauffer their kids from one sport or activity to another, and she has to make sure she leaves work on time in order to take them herself. She complained to us all about this by saying, "Once again, I am being a single parent!" (as you can tell, this is not the first time she has made such a comment.) How can this supposedly intelligent woman be so clueless?!? A few hours of having to cope on her own hardly qualifies her for such a complaint! Every time she makes this complaint I see red! How can she make these comments in front of people who have been single parents for years and not realize how she sounds? Am I over-reacting? Can you suggest a tactful way to respond the next time my co-worker starts complaining about how tough her life is? Sincerely, Judi(damnimtired)blueye Dear Judiblueye, I can understand your feelings. I am not really surprised. I have seen worse. I have seen a woman who gained five lbs. over last years holidays tell a morbidly obese, single coworker that she (her co-worker) can't imagine how awful she feels about herself and how ugly she must be to her husband since gaining 5 lbs. When it comes to thoughtlessness, there is no limit to what some people will do. My recommendation to you is to let your co-worker know that her comments are at the very least inappropriate when talking to single parents who do it on a 24/7 basis. It will at least let her know that if she wants to complain, she should find another audience. The other thing you can do is just ignore her thoughtlessness. Most acts of thoughtlessness are not malicious even though they can be hurtful. You have to decide if it's worth raising this issue with her, or it's just something you will ignore. Let me know what you decide. happy(andcurious)shrink
and for all you pet lovers out there: 1.
SOMETIMES YOUR BED JUST FEELS SOOO GOOD! 2.
EARS? WHAT EARS? 3.
OK, I'LL BE HIS FRIEND BUT I DON'T HAVE TO LIKE IT! 4.
THEY'LL NEVER FIND ME IN HERE! More
to come next week
Date: October 8-9, 2005
Hiya happy, I've probably e-mailed you several different times now about different things, but here is how it's going now, and I have much more specific questions. I am 19, am studying at a very nerdy/intellectual college, and I have bipolar and ADHD. I can't take stimulants really because they aggravate my moods, so sometimes I can't tell the difference between hyperactivity and hypomania. I always say it's just a little ADHD giddiness and other people think it's more...but that's not the point of this. i take Lamictal (250 mg a day) and Effexor (150 mg a day). This summer I experimented with Concerta (used to work, not now with new meds), Ritalin (bad bad bad made me sleep for 15 hours and then wake up and bitch out my family and say stuff to my father I wouldn't even think about normally), and Adderall (hard to tell when there was nothing to do, a bit moodier, but at school when there was work to do it seemed a godsend, but now they tell me no more). I hate my old psychiatrist so I'm going doctor shopping...and the one I saw today wonders why I'm not on lithium. Lamictal had been recommended to me twice because each time I was presenting with depressive episodes and not manic ones...but the manias have gotten more pronounced lately...and this new guy says I'm not stable and am too symptomatic for therapy even...but I thought i was fairly stable...it turns out he counts the 24-hour spells as episodes...I don't know. he wants me to think about Trileptal and Seroquel and lithium instead of Lamictal. but I am hesitant, because I love Lamictal, because it has no bothersome side effects.Ii asked if we could raise Lamictal and lower Effexor, and he said good idea, but I'm now curious. Could you contrast Trileptal and Lamictal and Seroquel and Lithium for me? that is, which kinds of bipolar is each medicine more appropriate for? it's harder for me to assess myself now that I've had more highs...and you know psychiatrists...they want to change your meds so you pay them more or something...it makes them feel like they're doing stuff...or maybe not...i don't know! I've never had a p-doc relationship that worked! I'm scared of lithium...big gun...and Depakote is weird in girlies under 20 I think--polycystic ovaries and stuff. Plus, my intellect is so important to me. if a drug messes with my brainpower, my spirit will be crush crush crushed. Thanks for anything you can tell me... madame moodswings Dear madame moodswings, First I want to state that I am not a psychiatrist and do not prescribe medication even though I do know a lot about meds and what they do. Even if I were a psychiatrist, it would still be hard to comment on your condition, since I don't really know your history and the dosages of your medications. I will make some general comments that may be of help to you. Firstly, Ritalin and it's long acting cousin, Concerta are usually used to treat ADHD in children prior to puberty. There are some other uses and some people benefit from these drugs after puberty, but usually an anti-depressant is used instead. Effexor is an antidepressant that can also reduce anxiety. Lamictal and Tryleptal are both anti-seizure drugs that have most recently been used as mood stabilizers to treat Bipolar disorder. I am not sure how they might differ. Tryleptal is newer but I can't tell you if it would be more or less effective in your case. Depakote does have side effects that you would rather avoid and Lithium is even more onerous with regard to side effects. Generally, lithium is only considered after all other options have been exhausted. Seroquel is an anti-psychotic medication that has also been used to help people to sleep and stabilize their mood. All the meds you have been prescribed are consistent with your diagnosis. Your psychiatrist should be evaluating what combinations work best for you. If you have doubts about your psychiatrist, I would certainly consider getting a second opinion. Lastly madame moodswings, I would ask your psychiatrist if he has ever considered Stratera for you. It is a fairly new ADHD medication that works very well in adults as well as adolescents. Many adults who suffer from ADHD have found it to be very helpful. I'm not pushing it and it may not be the right drug for you, but it's the only one you haven't mentioned that you have tried. It's worth asking about. I hope this is helpful to you. Your conditions have no cures, but if you find the right combination of medications, you can live a happy and productive life with them. Also, there are new meds being developed every day. Good luck madame moodswings, I hope you are in the mood for another letter soon. happy(alwaysinthemood)shrink
No more letters in the mailbag. Please write a letter so I can keep posting.
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