Postings from February 1-29, 2004

Date: Feb 26-27, 2005  

Dear Happyshrink,

I have another question for you.  You are a shrink right?  That was not my question.  The question is this: are severe depression and Alzheimer's in any way related?  The reason I am asking is because at one point a shrink I was seeing said something along those lines.  I was trying to explain it to my therapist today and probably screwed it all up.  She said she had never heard anything like that.  I know I was probably a little loopy when he told me this, so can you maybe straighten out my loopy little brain?  I sure hope so.  I'm beginning to wonder about the little green men again.  Only kidding.  Thanks for any information you can give me.

T

Dear T,

There is no link between people who suffer from clinical depression and people who develop Alzheimer's Disease. People who are in the early stages of Alzheimer's Disease may become clinically depressed because of the realization that they suffer from a progressively debilitating illness but the two conditions are separate. 

As for your first question, which I have answered on numerous occasions, I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who has had a practice in psychotherapy for over 20 years. I have been in human services for over 25 years....or is it over 26?....Hmmm.

happy(andalittlemoreforgetfulthesedays)shrink

Dear Happyshrink

I was widowed many years ago, about 8. At the time I had two young teenagers and a two year old. I had always been a stay at home mom that worked only sporadically and so didn't really have any work experience or skills. I went through the normal 1-2 year long grief period, my kids had various reactions but somehow we got through those first couple of years. I decided to go to back to college to better be able to support my family and to meet my eventual goal of being a medical missionary. With a lot of hard work, I got through college summa cum laude and got my RN license. And now to my problem. Towards the end of nursing school, I realized that I really, really did not want to be a nurse. I hated it, and I don't think I am good at it. In all my rotations through various types of nursing, I never found my niche. Part of it is the job itself and part of it is the work environment. 

Anyway, because I have never really finished anything in my life, I decided that I would go ahead and finish, then study for licensure and get my license. So I did. Now it is two years later. I have never worked as a nurse. I don't think I have ever even set foot in a hospital since I graduated. I really am burned out on school and though I went back for a semester, I know I can't take more right now. To further complicate matters, my youngest daughter has had some neurological problems and I had to take her out of school last year to home school her, at least for the next couple of years. I feel totally thwarted by life. I tried to do something productive, and even at my advanced age I was unable to pick out something that I could like and be successful at. I feel paralyzed and defeated. I have no idea what to do from here. Do you have any suggestions?

Stymied

BTW, I have looked into counseling and my area doesn't have any resources for those of limited means, unless you are frankly psychotic. I'm not there yet.

Dear Stymied,

I don't know if this is any consolation but nursing is the #1 burnout profession. You are not alone when it comes to people who have strived to become nurses only to find that the stress and demands are too great. So what do most people who leave the nursing profession do? They work in related fields. They become health administrators, work for managed care agencies, become health education consultants and a whole lot of other things.

Perhaps what you need more than therapy is a visit to a career counselor who might be able to give you some ideas of how you can use your RN to do other things besides nursing. It may cost you some money, but we are talking about a few sessions and not a long term commitment. I would strongly suggest you find a good career counselor in your area who can help you to explore your options. Having an RN can open a lot of door you may not have thought about. Look into it and let me know what you find.

happy(alwaysburningout)shrink

Anon. replies....

Dear Anon,

My wife makes sure I stay out of singles bars. 

happy(drinksfruit2-Oathome)shrink

Here is a little Internet joke:

Date: Feb 19-20, 2005  

Date: Feb 12-13, 2005  

No serious questions this week but an interesting letter from Mildred Thigpen:

Dear Happyshrink,

JeWitch has really done it this time! That....oohh! I can't even say the word because my Gilbert won't allow four letter words in the house. But if I could call her a name I would. I swear it. Let me tell you what happened. I applied for a job last week as a secretary at a local law firm. It said that it was no experience needed and so I thought it would be perfect for me. I had just gotten home when JeWitch drove up in that wild VW van of hers with her boyfriend. They had just been grocery shopping at 7-11. I know that because when she buys more than 2 bags of groceries there that's her food shopping for the week. Of course I was polite and when she asked me what I was up to I told her that I had just applied for this job.

I THOUGHT that she was really interested in it because she started asking all kinds of questions about it and seemed real excited about the job, especially the "no experience needed" part. I went home happy THINKING that that...hussy had finally showed some interest in me. I went upstairs to change and then began to wonder - she had shown a little too much interest. But why? Since it's winter here and freezing out (60!) I decided to just go to my bathroom window and use my binoculars to get a look into her kitchen. She was, of course, there with that hippie man of hers and was talking on the phone. The way she was tromping up and down the kitchen and waving her arms, I thought she was fighting with Edna again because that's usually what she does when she talks to her. I just had to get a better look. The next day I accidentally threw a role of toilet paper out the window and over the fence. I had to retrieve it, of course. So I walked over there and got it. Funny...it landed under the same window. Since Edna was visitng I thought

I'd find out what they were talking about. They were talking about Edna's neice Peggy May and laughing about how JeWitch got all that information from...ME! JeWitch laughed and told Edna that she thought Peggy May's letter would make her a shoe-in. Oh, the letter? It was right on the counter...by the WINDOW! So I ran around to the front of the house, rang the doorbell, then ran back to the window. JeWitch went to answer it...dumb...and Edna followed her as she always does...dumber...and that's when I snatched it, the letter, and then went right back over the fence. I am sending a copy of the letter to you. 

I ask you - how am I supposed to compete with this? Now, I was never a rocket scientist, but...well, you see for yourself. When they read her letter and see how skilled she is I won't have a chance! I still have the letter but forgot the role of toilet paper under JeWitch's window. What should I do? I want to tear it up because I don't think she could write something so brilliant again but you never know. I really want this job. Do you think JeWitch will notice the toilet paper and come over here? Maybe they'll forget. Please let me know what to do. Gilbert said I should burn it. Then he wanted his spam-loaf for dinner. Well, thanks.

Sincerely,

Mildred Thigpen

Deer Sir,

I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting. I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me well. I´m lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited.

I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth, I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.

hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly,

Peggy May Starlings

PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me

taken at my last jobb.

Dear Mildred,

I have been corresponding to you for a long time and I know that you are a good Christian woman and I am sure you will return the letter to wear you found it and retrieve your roll of toilet paper. If it's any consolation to you, as a result of my posting this picture Peggy May has actually landed herself another job as a private secretary for former President Bill Clinton. On her first day of work she presented him with a box of cigars. Mr. Clinton politely declined saying that since his heart surgery, he no longer smokes cigars. So Peggy may gave him a dildo instead. 

happy(moretolifethanspelllllling)shrink

Date: Feb 5-6, 2005  

Dear Methos,

First, let me tell you how pleased I am that you have gotten your degree and are pursuing a career in health and human services. I know that the last several years were not easy ones for you. You have endured a lot to get to where you are today. I feel fortunate to have known you during this period and be aware of all the obstacles you have overcome.

There is a reciprocal relationship between helping and being helped. All helping professionals should and need to benefit emotionally from helping others. Through helping we derive a sense of self-esteem and accomplishment. We also use the lessons of our clients to heal and rid ourselves of our own demons. And yes, every human being on the face of the earth have their own personal demons.

The reason why I am mentioning this Methos is that it seems like your therapist is now overcome by he own demons. He is overcome to the extent that he is no longer a helping professional but perpetrator. It would be obvious to you if a mental health professional had sexual relations with a patient that would be abuse. But "intimate" relations don't always involve sex. Your therapist is emotionally and intimately abusing you Methos. Would it be acceptable for you to behave the way your therapist is behaving? This is not the role model you need right now.

Not only would I urge you to stop seeing this man immediately, but I would also urge you to give him an ultimatum that he suspend his mental health practice and get his own professional help or you will report him to the regulating body that he is answerable to.

The last thing you asked me in your letter Methos was if you shouldn't stat and help him since he has stayed and helped you when you needed him. Ethically ,you don't have an obligation to help him however, morally you may feel obliged to. The question is "how?" Continuing to see him serves to enable his dysfunctional behavior. I would argue that you are harming him by continuing to see him. Have you considered that you are not the only one he is harming. What about his other patients? How many of them has he compromised? You can't possibly know that, but this needs to be another consideration. You can stop him from using you as a vehicle for his mental illness. You can stop him from harming others. You can stop him from harming himself. 

I've always asked you to see the light at the end of the tunnel when the path was dark and scary. I'm asking a lot of you now; not only for yourself but for the profession you are entering. Make your entry into this profession a vehicle to become more healthy. That's what it has done for me over the years and thousands of human service professionals like me. Unfortunately, that is not the case for all human service professionals. Don't let your therapist be your role model. Please do the right thing. let me know what you think.

happy(tryingtodotherightthing)shrink

Dear Happy,

Edna

Dear Edna,

Yes, now I know. 

happy(waytoomuchinformation)shrink