Postings from September 1-30, 2004

Date: Sept 25-26, 2004  

Dear Happyshrink,

Is it true that only sane people think they're crazy and crazy people think they are perfectly sane? 

T**** (not sure which I am) the nut

Dear T****

There are some severely mentally ill people who suffer from what are called fixed delusion. Those delusions can vary from believing that aliens are trying to abduct them, to being persecuted by the FBI, CIA or believing that they are God, the king of a country, or the CEO of a corporation. People who suffer from fixed delusions often do think that they are sane and those who doubt them have the problem. The vast majority of people who suffer from mental illness; even severe mental illness are aware of their condition. They may have episodes where they decompensate and become more impaired, however they usually do recognize that they have problems.

I don't know too many sane people who think they are crazy, however the day to day stresses of life may make anyone doubt their judgment and even their perceptions. If that is the case, they usually come back to reality with little trouble.

I'm not sure which category you fit into T****, but if you want to share what is making you unsure of you sanity, I will be glad to give you feedback. Please write me with more information.

happy(sometimesIfeellikeanut;sometimesIdon't)shrink

 

Dear BC in California,

You shouldn't have a buzzing/swishing in your head for an extended period of time after being weaned off Paxil and put on Wellbutrin. This question is better asked as well as answered by your psychiatrist BC. Let me know what he/she says.

happy(buzzingandswishingwithoutmedication)shrink

 

HK

Dear HK,

There is no quick fix or magic solution to your problems. What you need to start doing is taking control of your life. Here are some difficult but realistic things you can do.

1. Trade in the new car for a used one.

2. Move into a smaller apartment that you can afford.

3. Negotiate with your job some limits on overtime.

4. Look into a support group for single moms. You might just find friends that can be emotionally there for you.

5. Go to family court and petition for child support that is garnished from your child's father's wages.

 

There's nobody out there who's going to rescue you HK. You need to find the inner strength and fortitude to change your lifestyle as well as your expectations. The welfare of your 10 month old depends on it. Don't let your baby down.

 

happy(dotherightthing)shrink

 

And this bit of important news from Judiblueye:

Dr. Calvin Rickson, a scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps a woman's breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in. At the news conference announcing the invention, a large group of men took Dr. Rickson outside and kicked the s**t out of him.

Dr. Rickson should remember that the school he does research for focus's on Agriculture and Mining. In other words Cal, stick to cow udder's and caves.

happy(jiggleswaytoomuchwhenhewalks)shrink

 

I LOVE EBAY !!!  Did I just buy the greatest lighter .. OR WHAT??? It is called "PMS ZIPPO."

JeWitch

Dear JeWitch,

Too bad the prices for lighter fluid are so high.

happy(gotamatch?)shrink

Date: Sept 18-19, 2004  

Dear Happy,

I read your July response to the letter about getting happy. I think what you said was equally profound and confusing.  As you know, I take the maximum amount the manufacturer recommends of an SSRI.  I don’t expect that to make me happy but I do expect it to alleviate the hopelessness, rage, depression, and fatigue. I have several hobbies and interests that should take my mind away from wanting to self-destruct. I just can’t seem to find the half ounce of energy needed to start in on anything even though cognitively I know if I get started lots of good things happen and my energy rockets. So I sleep and mope and generally feel pissed off. 

As we have discussed previously, I have reduced my daily med dose and am more frequently missing a day or two here and there.  I’m sure the casual reader will now wonder why I have bothered to write since the solution may seem perfectly clear, but based on your response to the person looking to become happy, I think you have already countered that the meds aren’t a fix all. Besides, even completely compliant I still too frequently suffer malaise. 

Through my privileged access to you, and with my most excellent therapist, I am pretty aware of the other complexities in my background and present circumstances. My expectation is that my awareness should significantly mitigate the effects of the ugly parts. The ugly stuff is deep, sometimes immediate, and reasonably depressing to reflect on – I recognize that – but on the scale of human suffering it’s not terminal stuff.  You can repeat your antibiotic analogy if you like, but in addition to taking antibiotics, keeping the opportunistic re-infections under control is a significant secondary factor in healing.  I maintain I am attacking at both ends. So what am I missing?  What am I avoiding? What am I ignoring? I am frustrated about feeling this way, thinking I can and should be in better control of these feelings, and yet pretty clearly failing in that effort.

One sad puppy

Dear one sad puppy,

There are a number of things to consider with regard to your condition, but first I think it is important to distinguish between depression, sadness and PTSD. Depression is a clinical term that describes a mental health condition where one experiences at varying degrees low energy, sadness, helplessness, hopelessness and/or a feeling of being overwhelmed. The key to clinical depression is that there is either no life experiences that has precipitated such state of mind or the situation that may have originally caused the sadness or stress has been alleviated through time (which does eventually heal most wounds) or circumstance. Then there is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) which is a whole other can of worms. With PTSD, things can appear to be going well and something on either a conscious or unconscious level may trigger an episode which may include acute or longer lasting anxiety, depression, rage, dissociation and/or despair. While SSRI's can be effective in treating clinical depression, panic attacks and symptoms of both depression and anxiety that are associated with PTSD, they don't always do as good a job as we would like them to do. Results can vary dramatically from person to person.

So have I confused you even further? I probably have but not intentionally. This is really confusing stuff. Meds can work well for a time and then stop working. Meds that are great for one person can be awful for someone else. I've been in the field for over 25 year I don't always understand what's going on with a patient and I'm sure the mental health professionals that you deal with have the same experience whether they are willing to admit it or not.

I would recommend the following courses of action:  First, I would get a complete physical exam along with blood work and endocrinology. There are medical and hormonal conditions that can cause your fatigue and depressed state. Hopefully everything will check out OK but you want to rule out any medical reasons for your symptoms. 

Second, I would work with my therapist on doing a distress-depression inventory. There are all kinds of tests and inventories out there but I would just do something very simple. I would make up a three column table. The first column would list the issues in your life that are causing distress, sadness, anger, frustration, despair, etc. Keep the list limited to no more than 5 things. There may be more stuff that's problematic but 5 is enough to look at without being totally bummed out. The second column would be a skinny one. It would rate each item in column one. 1 would be the most important and dominant issue and 5 would be the least important and dominant issue. The third column is one you can work on by yourself or with the help of you therapist. Identify the resources and strategies (including medication) that can help you to manage these issues. In clinical terms, this is called your "Treatment Plan." I like treatment plans. It helps to give your treatment some focus and direction. 

You should not necessarily work on all five of these issues in your life at once. Pick two; maybe three to begin with. Find ways of coping with, managing, and reducing the symptoms brought on by these issues. Review your treatment plan monthly and perhaps every three months you may want to make some revisions. It can be a very effective tool to evaluate every three months how your treatment is going.

Lastly, one hopefully less sad puppy, I've said this to you before and I'll say it again. Slow down. Be patient with yourself as you would be with others in your life. As my favorite Chinese saying goes (and I got it more than once in my fortune cookie so that has to says something) "A journey of 10,000 miles begins with one step." 

happy(stilljourneyingandstilleatingchinesefood)shrink

 

Dear Happyshrink,

I have a question/concern. I have taken Effexor XR 150mg for almost three years and find that I do not dream. I looked up my topic on the web and saw tons of postings regarding vivid dreams, violent dreams, etc. but I don't have dreams except after my dosage has worn off. I take my dosage before I go to bed at 11:00 pm. and don't dream (or do I and I'm not conscious of it?) until I wake up at 6:00 am. On the odd occasion I have the chance to sleep in like until 9:30 or 10:00 I will dream and they can be very vivid. Have you ever heard of anyone else that this occurs with? I'm wondering the effect that no dreaming has on my health. Thanks for any insight you can provide.

D***

Dear D***

Everyone dreams but not everyone remembers their dreams. Since dreams occur when we are in a light sleep, it would appear quite normal for you to not have or not remember dreams after taking medication that may put you to sleep or keep you in a deeper sleeping pattern. When you do sleep later, the effects of the medication are less and you can be in a light or twilight sleep state. This is when most dreaming goes on.

While there is no conclusive evidence that dreaming or not dreaming has an effect on physical or mental health, sleeping certainly does. Getting a good night's sleep is most important to your complete health and if you sleep solid as a rock from 11pm to 6am, you are getting the minimum amount of sleep that is considered necessary. In fact, you might want to think about getting to bed a half hour earlier and taking your meds at 10:30. If you have to get up at 6:00am you should make sure you are getting enough sleep. Seven hours is considered the minimum for most people but it can vary and I would opt for a bit more sleep. Since you do dream when you sleep later than 6am, I don't think there's anything to worry about. Please feel free to respond D***. 

happy(inafieldofdreams)shrink

 

Dear Happyshrink,

 

Dear Happy,

Edna's got this wild idea about selling duct tape and making a fortune. I think you better talk to her. She's quit her job and here is the ad she took out in the Circle K weekly newspaper"

She's set up a stand at the entrance to the Trailer park and she says she's already sold 3 cases of duct tape. Can you imagine?

JeWitch

Dear JeWitch,

Yes I can imagine when I realize that she probably sold a case each, to Bubba, DUI and the Earl. I think her selling days will be over soon and she'll go back to being a WalMart greeter.

happy(I'llgetmyownbuggythankyouverymuch)shrink

 

And last but not least, some humor from Judiblueye:

A baby was born who was so advanced, he could talk. He looked around the delivery room and saw the doctor. "Are you my doctor?" he asked. "Yes, I am," said the doctor. The baby said, "Thank you for taking such good care of me during the birth." He looked at his mother and asked, "Are you my mother?" "Yes, I am," said the mother. "Thank you for taking such good care of me before I was born,"he said. He then looked at his father and asked, "Are you my father?"

"Yes, I am," his father answered. The baby motioned him closer, then poked him repeatedly on the forehead with his index finger. "Hurts doesn't it!"

Enough poking for one day.

happy(wellmaybelater)shrink

 

Date: Sept 11-12, 2004  

Hello Happy,

I had a nightmare last night.  Or at least I think I did.  My husband woke me up and said I must have been having a bad dream.  As he was saying that and I was processing what he was saying, I was also realizing that I had been on the verge of waking up anyway because I heard some muffled screaming noises.  The noises were from me of course.  This kind of thing happens to me somewhat frequently. I take a big dose of Zoloft daily, I’m in weekly therapy, get through the torture and agony of EMDR, have a great job, and a score of external stressors to probably explain most of my other issues.

But, I don’t feel depressed today and didn’t last night.  I don’t feel like things in my life are out of control – they have been and could be again, but they are not now. Actually, I think I’m pretty in tune with all the attacks my psyche is withstanding at the moment. The nightmares would be a no-brainer if I wasn’t working pretty regularly and with real effort at processing all the very painful emotions that come with the death of a parent, the complexities of human relationships, and the economics of today.

My therapist and I have talked about the obvious driver behind nightmares – that of trying to control a fearful situation or perception through violence and so on. I realize the chronic kind of PTSD I have is fairly insidious, but I wonder why this aspect of the disorder is so pervasive?

I really admire the insight, seriousness, and generosity of spirit you offer in responding to your faithful site-readers so I hope you can come up with something new for me to consider with this issue. I used to think of myself as fairly nonviolent. While clearly there have been periods of lesser and greater truth to my sense of self-identity as a nonviolent individual, both my reality and self-perception are disturbed by what I can’t control in my dreams. And if you can’t come up with something brilliant, can I call you the next time I wake up screaming?

No Zen Zzzzs

Dear No Zen Zzzzs,

First let me assure you that you can call me the next time you wake up screaming, but keep in mind that my insight is not always at its best after being awakened in the middle of the night with somebody having a bad dream. Just ask your friend WindNWillows. She's done it more than a few times. At least in her case I can give her some pets on the head for comfort. It's a bit harder to do that on the telephone but I will try my best.

Perhaps the best way to answer your question is by posing one. What does feeling good during the day and even feeling in relative control of your life have to do with getting nightmares? Don't kids get nightmares no matter what kind of day they've had? The whole point about nightmares is they can't be controlled. You can try and understand them. You can also try and work through their meanings so that you are dealing with the fears or conflicts that drive them. Perhaps over time you can lessen their intensity and frequency, but this process does not resemble washing mud off of your shoes. It's more like a berry stain on a white silk blouse; you soak it in a mild detergent, gently rub it and hope that in time the stain will fade without the blouse being ruined. (...or take it to a dry cleaner but that doesn't go well with my analogy.)

While I would agree with you that you are not a violent person, violence is and has been a part of your life (as well as anyone who suffers from PTSD). As someone who is struggling with depression you need to be in touch with the anger that is always present even when the depression has been managed well through medication and psychotherapy. As someone who suffers from PTSD, you must be in touch with the anxiety and danger that can be triggered by smell, sight, memory association or even the time of year it is (anniversaries of traumatic events). This anxiety can also be reduced over time but it never really leaves you. This may not be a comforting way to look at it, but it is better to have a PTSD nightmare that interrupts your sleep for a brief time than a PTSD "daymare" while you are driving your car, at work, or handling other activities of daily living.

While not mentioned in this letter, you have share with me in previous correspondence the nature of your nightmares that have you defending yourself with a gun. The simplest interpretation of this kind of dream is that you still feel that there are enemies out there that threaten your very existence and that you must kill them before they kill you. This is a powerful fear that has been the result of multiple traumas occurring during many stages of your life. The one positive thing in this nightmare is that you are still fighting, still struggling and still hoping to triumph. The dream state gives you the benefit of being scared. This is something you don't often show in your awake state.

Insight is a wonderful thing that has touched you but sometimes it can be overwhelming. Your insights in recent years have not been like discovering the missing piece to a large jigsaw puzzle. They have been like a tactical assault. How can you not feel overwhelmed? There is so much to process and in so many areas of you life. The nightmares may reflect your need to repel the assault.

So what is the message in all of this? Some of it, only you can figure out. My message to you is; it's time to slow down and choose one or two areas to focus on. But instead of the role of soldier perhaps the role of architect may better suit you. Especially since you are so good at building things (know that from first hand experience). No doubt, you will let me know what you think and this dialogue will continue.

happy(tobepartoftheneverendingstorey)shrink 

PS: Will answer your other letter next week

 

Dear happy,

I have an interesting eating problem.  I'm 18, 5'6.5", and I always used to be skinny.  I weighed 119 this winter, but by the beginning of the summer, I was 123.  That made sense to me, because I don't really eat much in the winter.  in the summer, I get bored and start eating a lot more.  Anyway, I was mad about gaining weight, so this summer I joined a gym and got a job doing landscaping.  I did lots of hard manual labor and got plenty of exercise, but I keep gaining weight.  I was 128 at the beginning of august.  so I got into a hyper-diet.  I tried eating only two meals a day and no snacks, but I started feeling sick so I quit.  then I started gaining weight again.  This week, I've only eaten one meal a day, and I go to the gym, but now I weigh 130!  

I have no idea why I am gaining weight like this.  at the rate I'm dieting, I should be losing weight.  it's making me absolutely insane.  My new diet is I fast all day, I eat dinner, and then after dinner I start getting hungry.  I'm not hungry during the day while I'm fasting, only after dinner.  so I have a snack, and then I get hungrier, and there's this huge snowball effect.  the other night I ate 5 ice cream cones and two bowls of popcorn.  I think I'm addicted to sugars because they call to me constantly even when I'm not hungry.  I tried to make the binging stop, so I go to bed when I start to get hungry.  When I wake up, It's easy to fast because it's fun.  But I'm seriously furious about gaining weight no matter how hard I diet.  

What can I do to get back to skinny, like I was in the winter time?  I've developed theories that this is all due to a parasitic conjoined twin that is growing inside me, or a tumor made of fat that is having babies, or thyroiditis--would any of this make sense?  Also, I don't know why I'm so obsessed with weight, because people who aren't usually end up skinnier and happier.  Thanks for any help you can give me. 

j**

Dear J**

Having a teenage daughter, I do know that weight is a big deal even though 130 lbs. at 5'6½" is very well within normal range of weight for a person. Clearly, a couple of things have changed over the summer besides gaining 7 lbs. First off, your eating habits have changed. You have tried a number of diets that all succeed in slowing down your metabolism and making you hungrier. I'm not a nutritionist, but it's obvious that your approach to losing or even maintaining a desired weight is not working. Fasting only slows down metabolism and promotes overeating once the fasting ends. Researchers have shown that food deprivation is one of the most effective ways of getting people to gain weight even though there may be a very short term weight loss in the beginning

Secondly, even though you are well past puberty, your body is still undergoing hormonal changes as you are still "developing. The shape of young women's bodies may continue to develop into their twenties. Beyond that, you could also have some kind of medical condition that could affect your metabolism. If you are on certain medications, their can be weight gaining side effects.

So I have two suggestions J**. Make an appointment to see your family doctor and get a complete physical. If you are on any medications, find out if they have weight gain as a side effect. A pound of knowledge about what's going on with your body is worth a ton of theories. The second suggestion is to make an appointment to see a nutritionist. Perhaps your doctor can refer you to one. A good nutritionist can give you a plan for eating healthy and sensibly. Please let me know what your doctor says. Keep in touch.

happy(safedistancefrom130lbs)shrink

 

Dear Happy Shrink,

Hi. thank you so much for maintaining this site. I'm writing b/c I don't what to do regarding my heart/soul/life. I'm the person who wrote the 'I want to catch it all.." poem awhile ago. It has been maybe 7 years since then & I'm 35 now & my fiancé of the last 4 & 1/2 years broke up w/ me (but I agreed). He said he didn't want to marry me anymore & a year ago I got pregnant & we were going to keep it & I was so happy b/c I truly loved him, but he started acting very controlling & scary & forcing me to eat much more than I needed & we got into a fight & he called me a cunt which is the one thing I so sincerely begged him never to call me when we first started dating b/c I was raped in my sophomore year of college by a VMI military cadet & that cadet called me that word & I knew to have my love call me that would be very damaging to my soul. 

Also when I first moved to Los Angeles, I was a police magnet & got pulled over all the time for no reason & was put in jail for 4 days after I was pulled over for not wearing my seatbelt & after I called the police officer a pig (after thinking at least I have freedom of speech) after the policeman towed away my car b/c my tags were 2 months expired b/c I couldn't afford new tags b/c every penny I made from my miserable reception job went to my rent. But the jail thing gave me post traumatic stress disorder & I still get afraid/upset whenever I see a police car, but to get to the point, after our fight where the father of our baby called me a "c". I got pulled over again for forgetting to put on my seat belt & this policeman was so sincerely evil- it was so scary (by this time I knew never to open my mouth) but all I could think of were the penniless women in jail who were crying to me asking me to help them & I thought about the future of having a baby when I only have $300 to my name (even though I have a very good education) & was so scared of being penniless & having the baby, the next day I made the appointment for an abortion.

Now, a year later, I'm almost 36, single, still poor, but all I've ever wanted in life was love although I could be very rich now if I had married earlier, but didn't b/c I was ambitious in my chosen career field that has failed, but still all I want is love, but I've turned scarily unattractive. Even my mother's friends can't look at me, so I've accepted the fact that I will never get married or have kids & in a way I'm happy b/c at least I'm not almost suicidal depressed like I have been before, but all I am doing now is existing off $500 a month my parents give me.

I am so numb except for the chest pains that I have almost constantly & I can't look at myself in the mirror. I have yellow buck teeth, huge pores, wrinkles, a mole on my cheek that used to be sexy, but grew & now is a huge black wart, veiny old hands, a flat chest, & i have zero ambition or hope for anything esp. when I watch the Republican National Convention & feel like I'm living in Germany pre WWII when everyone was brainwashed & in denial. All I want is love, but i am ugly, old, & even the thought of kissing anyone (even my ex or any fantasy-type thing) is unimaginable, very undesirable, & makes me nauseous. My ex & I only had sex one time since the operation & i can't remember the last time I felt turned on. I'm so dead inside, even my smile is scary, but I'm praying that there is hope while I still am alive, so that is why I'm writing you. Please forgive me for vomiting up my depressing life, but I don't know what to do except continue to look for a job b/c every penny my parents give me goes to the rent on my new apt. now that I'm not living with my boyfriend in LA anymore.

I really am sorry for puking all this out to you, but if you have any advice I'd truly appreciate it. As you know I don't have much time left. can some people sexually/emotionally die & never recover? Is there any hope?

sincerely,

me

Dear me,

I can certainly understand how hopeless and helpless you feel. Depression is an insidious condition that feeds off itself. Much has happened to you that brought you to this point in your life. Clearly, some of it was not of your making. More important than looking at all the bad things that have happened to you is understanding where you are now hand what you need to do to move forward in your life. One thing I can tell you for sure. If you have so much contempt for yourself, you can't expect anyone else to think well of you. The first step is trying to regain some degree of self esteem.

You have a good education and even if your career goals didn't pan out, what else can you do with that education? I would also ask you what else you can do to improve your appearance. You may have lost your youth you may never look as good as you once did, but you certain don't have to look as bad as you describe yourself.

Nobody else will rescue you, me. It's up to you to get your life back on track. You are fortunate that your parents are helping you and you are more lucky than unlucky that you got rid of that fiancé that called you the "c" word. At 36 you still have a lot of good living ahead but you need to make it happen. Don't let yourself continue to be a victim.

Lastly me, there are free clinics in L.A. that can get you some counseling. It sounds like you could use it. Get the help you need and do the work you need to do. Good luck and let me know how things are going.

happy(maybeit'stimeforanotherpoem)shrink

 

And Last but not least some words of JeWisdom. JeWitch weathered two hurricanes and she has some good advice for anyone living in Florida or anywhere else:

Hello Happy ,

simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan: 

    STEP 1: Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family for at least

                 three days. 

    STEP 2: Put these supplies into your car. 

    STEP 3: Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Halloween. 

 

Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this sensible plan.  Most people will foolishly stay here in Florida. 

We'll start with one of the most important hurricane preparedness items: 

HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE: 

If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance. Fortunately, this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic requirements: 

    (1) It is reasonably well-built, and 

    (2) It is located in Nebraska. 

Unfortunately, if your home is located in Florida, or any other area that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they might be required to pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they got into the insurance business in the first place.  So you'll have to scrounge around for an insurance company, which will charge you an annual premium roughly equal to the replacement value of your house.  At any moment, this company can drop you like used dental floss. Since Hurricane George, I have had an estimated 27 different home-insurance companies.  This week, I'm covered by the Bob and Big Stan Insurance Company, under a policy which states that, in addition to my premium, Bob and Big Stan are entitled, on demand, to my kidneys.

SHUTTERS: 

Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows, all the doors, and -- if it's a major hurricane -- all the toilets.  There are several types of shutters, with advantages and disadvantages: 

Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them yourself, they're cheap.  The disadvantage is that, because you make them yourself, they will fall off. 

Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work well, once you get them all up.  The disadvantage is that once you get them all up, your hands will be useless bleeding stumps, and it will be December. 

Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they're very easy to use, and will definitely protect your house.  The disadvantage is that you will have to sell your house to pay for them. 

Hurricane-proof windows: These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane protection: They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand hurricane winds!  You can be sure of this, because the salesman says so.  He lives in Nebraska. 

Hurricane Proofing your property: As the hurricane approaches, check your yard for movable objects like barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture, visiting relatives, etc...  You should, as a precaution, throw these items into your swimming pool (if you don't have a swimming pool, you should have one built immediately).  Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn these objects into deadly missiles. 

EVACUATION ROUTE: 

If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route planned out.  (To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at your driver's license; if it says "Florida," you live in a low-lying area).  The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being trapped in your home when a major storm hits.  Instead, you will be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two hundred thousand other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely. 

HURRICANE SUPPLIES: 

If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies.  Do not buy them now!  Florida tradition requires that you wait until the last possible minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with strangers over who gets the last can of SPAM.  In addition to food and water, you will need the following supplies: 

1.      23 flashlights.  At least $167 worth of batteries that turn out, when the

         power goes off, to be the wrong size for the flashlights. 

2.      Bleach.  (No, I don't know what the bleach is for.  NOBODY knows

         what the bleach is for, but it's traditional, so get some!) 

3.      55 gallon drum of underarm deodorant. 

4.      A big knife that you can strap to your leg.  (This will be useless in a

         hurricane, but it looks cool.) 

5.      A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators. (Ask anybody

         who went through Andrew; after the hurricane, there WILL be irate

         alligators.) 

6.      $35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane passes, you

          can buy a generator from a man with no discernible teeth. 

 

Of course these are just basic precautions.  As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television and watching TV reporters in rain slickers stand right next to the ocean and tell you over and over how vitally important it is for everybody to stay away from the ocean. 

 

Good luck, and remember:   It's great living in Paradise.  

 

 -- Peace !!!--

  ·.·´¨ ¨)) -:¦:-

  ¸.·´ .·´¨¨))

JEWITCH

  ((¸¸.·´ ..·´

  -:¦:- ((¸¸·.·