Date: July 24-25, 2004  

Hi Happy,

I was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. Where I thought I had met everyone there are still things I can't associate with. There is a lingering alter that I need to get out but need some help getting them there. Do you have any ideas to help bring them out?

Thanks

Another In a Crowd, Crowed

Dear Another In a Crowd, Crowed,

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is defined by the Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) as,

The presence of two or more distinct . . . personality states (each with its own relatively enduring pattern of perceiving, relating to, and thinking about the environment and self). At least two of these . . . personality states recurrently take control of the person's behavior. The inability to recall important personal information that is too extensive to be explained by ordinary forgetfulness. . . . not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance . . . or a general medical condition.

This condition is always a result of some childhood trauma that was persistent and in 85% of all cases involve sexual abuse. Treatment of this disorder is most often a long and arduous process. There are a number of treatment centers throughout the country that deal with this condition and you might want to do some research to see if there is a clinic or center near you.

Treatment usually involves helping the patient to remember the traumatic events and linking it to the dysfunctional behaviors that have emerged through the different personalities. Eventually the therapist helps the person to integrate these personalities into a singular being with healthy and effective coping mechanisms. 

I really can't suggest how you can get this last personality (alter or alter-ego) to come out nor how it needs to be integrated in your "oneness." All I can suggest is to continue to receive treatment and continue to work on living a stable and fulfilling life. 

You are not the first person with DID who has "asked Happyshrink." I hope that some of the others can share some experiences and suggestions for you. I will post them as I receive them.

happy(oneisn'tsuchalonelynumber)shrink

Dear Gind,

If you don't want Harley to grow up to be a cereal killer, don't let her take the Cheerios in the bath tub.

happy(thosehoneynutonesneverhadachance)shrink

Date: July 17-18, 2004  

Dear Happyshrink,

My friend who told me about this site; says you will tackle just about anything regardless of how stupid the asker may think it is.  So I have two questions: 1) What exactly is psychotic thinking?  My doctor said she didn't think I had it.  Now I am wondering how she would know if I did. 2) What is your opinion of electroshock therapy?  Just wondering on that one.  Thanks for any information.

T****

Dear T****

Neither questions one or two are stupid. They don't even make the top 500 stupid questions of all time. So here are my answers to your very reasonable questions.

Psychotic thinking involves a very distorted and persistent delusion or view of the world. Components of psychotic thinking may include hearing voices or seeing things that aren't there. In almost all cases, these auditory or visual hallucinations are disturbing in nature. Delusions can be disturbing as will but may also involve believing that you are someone you are not, such as believing you are the son or daughter of a famous person. People can be paranoid and suspicious without being psychotic or engaging in psychotic thinking. Psychosis tends to infiltrate all if not most areas of your life. People who suffer from such a severe and persistent mental illness would not likely be able to sustain employment. Their relationships may be limited and dysfunctional.

Having said all that, you can have dysfunctional relationships, not be able to keep a job and not be psychotic. There are other conditions and disorders that may have the same affect as being psychotic. Going into all of those conditions would be take up too much space but if you feel you have symptoms that concern you, I would certainly suggest you see a psychiatrist and not assume your family physician can make an accurate mental health diagnosis.

Electro Shock Therapy or better known as Electro Convulsive Therapy (ECT) is very rarely used today and only in cases of severe depression. When all other efforts to treat severe depression fail and under strict medical guidelines, ECT can be an effective treatment for severe and unresponsive depression.

Modern technology is a far cry from the ECT that was used years ago. People who received ECT over 40 years ago often had memory losses and cognitive difficulties. In the past, higher concentrations of electricity were used and they were applied to both sides of the brain. Today ECT is only administered to one side of the brain and this has reduced the potential for permanent damage. I want to stress again, that even though ECT is a relatively safe procedure, it is only employed in severe cases where all other treatment modalities have failed.

I hope I have answered your questions. Please feel free to ask more. Even really really really stupid ones.

happy(alwaysbeentoldnottobestupid)shrink

Dear Happy,

Well I hate to admit you were right about Bubba, but this time he's gone too far. I can deal with his never bathing and his disgusting habits. I have looked the other way when he would curse me out and even get physically violent with me. (I can hold my own in a fight against Bubba and have cracked his skull more than once.) But now he's gone too far and it's all over the papers. I don't know if I can ever show my face in the Trailer Park again. Even Gind Rinker and the Earl are giggling at me. Just look at what appeared on page 2 of our local paper.

Love,

Edna

XXXXXX, Florida (AP) -- A man hit his girlfriend with a 3-foot alligator and threw beer bottles at her during an argument in the couple's mobile home, authorities said.

Bubba Ray Swaggart, 41, was ordered held without bond Saturday on misdemeanor charges of battery and possession of an alligator.

The alligator, which Swaggart had been keeping in his bathtub, was turned over to Florida wildlife officials.

Edna Hoppenstadder, 39, told investigators that Swaggart beat her with his fists, then grabbed the alligator and swung it at her as she tried to escape, sheriff's spokesman Roy Tillis said. She said the animal hit her at least once. She also told authorities that Swaggart threw empty beer bottles at her, Tillis said.

Swaggart's version of the story differed. He told investigators that Edna bit his hand because she was upset that they had run out of alcohol.

Copyright 2004 The Associated Press. (Names have be changed to protect the guilty)

Dear Edna,

I hope this is a lessen to you once and for all. Get Bubba and that no good alligator out of your life for good! And if you are going to bite someone because the beer has run out, bite hard enough so that they don't have an arm left to pick up an alligator and swing it at you.

happy(stickingwithpuppies)shrink

Date: July 10-11, 2004  

Dear Happyshrink,

As you know, my ex is a deadbeat who has been unemployed for 2 years now. About 18 months ago he moved from the East Coast (which was about a day's drive away) to the West Coast. My mother and I drove my daughters as far as Minnesota from Michigan so that they could visit their dad a few weeks this summer. We got as far as Chicago and stopped for the night.

Before we could resume our travels we got the call that my ex, a friend of his and my daughters had been involved in a 1 car rollover accident. My daughters are fine, other than a couple of bruises, my ex is banged up a bit, but he'll live. The driver, who fell asleep at the wheel, is (last I heard) still in a coma with a head injury, broken vertebrae and ribs etc.

They had my ex in one hospital, the driver in another hospital in Billings Montana, and my daughters in a third, rinky-dink little hospital in the middle of nowhere. When I called, the nurses at the third hospital asked, "Who is going to pick up these children? They've been discharged already."

My ex was reportedly hospitalized with a head injury and broken bones. So my mom dropped me off at O'Hare airport in Chicago and I flew to Billings, Montana (via Salt Lake City). I rented a car and picked up my girls. We stopped at the hospital in Billings so that the girls could see how their dad was. His head injury turned out to be scalp lacerations, and his broken bones weren't broken. He was waiting for his (reportedly) estranged wife to check him out. (she was driving from the Spokane area) My daughters and I flew back home to Michigan the next morning.

My ex and his friend tried to drive straight through from Minnesota to Washington State. My mother and I asked them several time to stop somewhere to rest if they got tired (and in fact, my mother slipped them some money). When I IM'ed my ex to request that he send the girls their clothes (which were still in the totaled car trunk when we left Montana) he asked me when I was going to send his daughters out to Washington State for the rest of their parenting time. I replied that since he had no job and no wife in Washington (we found out this second news item from the girls on their return, and she was his only visible means of financial support) he had no reason to stay there so he was welcome to come to Michigan to visit his daughters here. He replied that since I had "unilaterally cancelled his parenting time" he had nothing further to say to me. He still has their suitcases with all their summer clothes 10 days later.

My question? I didn't cancel his parenting time, he did! It was his decision to risk his daughters' lives by attempting to drive for 28 hours without stopping to rest. He concealed from me the fact that his meal ticket had moved out 6 weeks ago. With him with no income, and now no car, it seems that this is not the best time for them to visit. Not to mention that the girls are both emotionally traumatized by the accident (ooops, I did mention it, oh well). So my Question is this: Am I over-reacting? Should I send the girls out to finish their visit?

Sincerely,

Judi(myheartratestillhasn'treturnedtonormal)blueye

PS The ex's wife's car insurance rep has offered to provide the girls with money for plane tickets to and from Wash. as part of a "pain and suffering" settlement.

Dear Judi,

No you are not over-reacting!!!!! (Grrrrrrrr) Clearly, your ex-husband has used bad judgment that could have ended tragically for you daughters. I don't even think it's unreasonable at this time to ask the courts for supervised visitation on his part. I would also ask the courts to investigate his living conditions and how he is supporting himself given the estrangement from his last wife.  I can smell a rat even with a stuffed up nose. I know your kids may love their father as kids should. But you have to ensure their safety. I don't think it's unreasonable refuse visitation until it can be established that he can offer the children a safe and healthy environment. 

Lastly Judi, I think the time for being accommodating is over. You shouldn't have to drive anywhere to drop the kids off, especially given his lack of financial support. I know of cases where that courts have ordered that a father get a wage earning job so that he can fulfill his child support obligations. While each state is different with regard such matters, there must be some advocacy group in Michigan that can help you. At the very least, they can make him return the kids clothes. That  clearly shows maliciousness and lack of concern for his kids as he is only depriving them and not you of their personal property.

You have been though a lot Judi and you are one tough lady. Don't give up. Don't stop fighting. I know it's discouraging but it will be worth it. Neither you nor the courts can force your ex-husband to "grow up" but there are consequences to irresponsible behavior and you need to make sure that he is called to task on them. 

happy(andaBIGjudiblueyefan)shrink

Hi Happy,

I have been on Effexor for the past 6 weeks. Prior to that, Wellbutrin and Prozac. Lately, I am feeling very reclusive, and can't wait to "escape" back home once out.

Can this be associated with Effexor? How does one become "happy"? I find that the antidepressant takes away my depression (although, not the melancholy), but is not making me "happy." How do you explain this?

Thanks for being here to answer my question.

Annon.

Dear Annon,

While anti-depressants can take away symptoms of depression such as feeling tired, hopeless, helpless, angry, self-denigrating and feelings of ennui, they can't make you "happy." Happy is a feeling that is usually a result of some stimulus. Among the things that make people happy are: Spending time with friends and loved ones, going to a movie or show, having Chinese food, accomplishing a goal or task, participating in a sport or hobby, getting your face licked by a puppy, having your team win a game, getting an A on an exam, winning a contest or lottery.....did I mention having Chinese food? I think you get the picture. (pass the butterfly shrimp)

Meds can do just so much Annon. You have to do the rest. If the above things don't make you happy even while you are on Meds, you might want to consider going into therapy. There could be some underlying reasons for your depression that are not just chemical. 

As far as how Effexor has been working for you, I would speak to your psychiatrist. Six weeks should be enough time for a medication to show improvement. If it seems like you have gone backwards and not forwards on the Effexor, you may need to discuss with your psychiatrist other medication options. Please understand that everyone reacts differently to medications and that's why there are many different antidepressants on the market. Effexor may work great for some people. Wellbutrin and/or Prozac may work great for others. Your psychiatrist needs to find what works best for you and that may take some trial and error.

In conclusion Annon, I would urge you to consider psychotherapy as well as talk to your psychiatrist about your experience with Effexor. Please let me know what you think and let me know what your psychiatrist says.

happy(nessisawarmpuppynamedOsan)shrink

Dear Gind,

But do Speedway stations have Slurpies and Big Bite hot dogs? I don't think so.

happy(knowshisleftfromhisright)shrink

Date: July 3-4, 2004  Happy Independence Day

Happy Independence Day

Just spent the July 4th weekend in Vermont. Independence is alive and well there. No serious questions to Happy this week. I hope to get some this week.