Postings from March 1-31, 2004
Date: March 27-28, 2004
Hi Happy, How can we tell if our 4.5 year old grandson might benefit from therapy? He's temporarily in our custody due to our son's job obligations. He has sole custody. Our grandson has gone through a lot but he really seems well adjusted at this time. He's very smart and very articulate. The main thing I'm a bit concerned about at this time is attachment issues. C Dear C, I would suggest you enroll him in a pre-school program. It may be too late given that it is the spring but perhaps some local church or community center has a program for preschoolers that he might be able to attend for the next couple of months. At 4˝ he should be developing relationships with other kids which is how most of us learn to break our attachments to parents and caregivers. By next year he will probably be enrolled in kindergarten and this can make that transition easier. If he is already in pre-school, you might want to ask his teachers if he is having any kind of adjustment problems. When a child does have problems that require "therapy" it is usually teachers that spot the behaviors first. If you have a specific concern, you can always have him tested in a child guidance clinic, but I don't think it is necessary unless you have noticed a developmental lag or behavior that seems out of the ordinary. He's lucky to have caring grandparents and I'm sure you will do what you have to do for him. Let me know how he's doing. happy(hasattachmentissuestoo)shrink
Happy answer's another spam letter: Have you got your first sexual experience with a mature woman? Do you still value experience and ripe bodies more than innocence and youthful vigor? Then Granny’s Place is the best place for you! A huge collection of awesome pictures and movies featuring retro ladies who are still in excellent form! skylark Dear skylark, Funny you should write me now. As it turns out, my wife has just turned 40 so you might say I have had experience with a mature woman (Even though those who know WindNWillows have never accused her of being mature). Anyway, thanks for the tip on your website, but Wind is just about all the mature woman I can handle right now. happy(HAPPYBIRTHDAYWIND!!!)shrink Dear Happy, Whilst I were cookin' greens, I went ta thinkin' 'bout this here 2 men or 2 women a marryin'. I cain't figgure how it work, myself. Then I got ta thinkin' 'bout Jewitch an' her 39 weddin's. I knowd how that work an' that ain't never worked. Then I got ta thinkin', what iffen our little Harley growed up to be a homasex.......gay an' she want ta have a weddin' ta a girl. Well, I still want her to have a weddin' in the front of the Trailer Park by the wash house to sombody she wants ta marry. Figgurin' just set my brain afire, so I set Momma ta figgerin' it out. She still be up a tree. Gind Rinker Dear Gind, After seeing your momma, I now know where you and Harley get your good looks from. happy(infavorofsamesexmarriagesbutopposedtoinbreeding)shrink And finally from Judiblueye (I'll print your serious letter next week) another joke: Arthur filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had paid and driven away, he realized that he had left the gas cap on top of his car. He stopped and looked and, sure enough, it was lost. Well, he thought for a second and realized that other people must have done the same thing, and that it was worth going back to look by the side of the road since even if he couldn't find his own gas cap, he might be able to find one that fit. Sure enough, he hadn't been searching long when he found a gas cap. He tried it on, and it went into place with a satisfying click. "Great," Arthur thought, "I lost my gas cap, but I found another one that fits. And this one's even better because it locks..." Even with a locking gas cap happy and wind never run low on gas!
Date: March 20-21, 2004
Dear Happyshrink, For an 18-year-old female with depression that's lasted 6 months, which would be better: medication or therapy? or a combination? It has never been extremely severe depression--no suicide attempts or anything like that. I guess I'm just asking when medication is helpful/useful/needed. thank you, jenn Dear jenn, If all 18-year-old females with depression were exactly the same, perhaps your question could be answered more easily. Since your depression is unique to you and your situation, it's hard to say what is best for you. My suggestion is to see a psychiatrist for assessment, diagnosis and treatment options. If you're not sure if the treatment plan is right for you, get a second opinion. The most important thing jenn is to take action now. You shouldn't have to suffer from depression when there are treatment alternatives which may include psychotherapy or medication or both. Don't sit on the fence any longer jenn. Start taking control of your life and all the happiness that life has to offer. happy(neversitsonafencebecauseitmakesmylegsnumb)shrink Happyshrink gets so few letters these days, he's reduced to answering his SPAM mail: Hey Happyshrink, I work as a massage therapist. I just recently had my induction into the bisexual world and I totally appreciate it. I still appreciate a good guy too, but I am very eager to get to know other bi gals. I am very kind, very tight and very loving. I love just about anything outdoors but can spend hours and hours in bed. I love being with chicks and men alike. I am looking for a very sexy person. If this sounds good to you then maybe I am your playmate. Love Rebecca Dear Rebecca, There is nothing wrong with experimenting sexually as long as there are consenting adults involved. I have consulted with Mrs. Happyshrink and she doesn't feel that I need a playmate. I do appreciate your offer and I hope you find someone as sexy and as fun-loving as me. Good luck. Lo...er....Sincerely, happy(wherethehellwereyouthirtyyearsago?)shrink And now a funny joke from Reverend_Al Big People Words Happy(timetogoPOOH)shrink
Date: March 13-14, 2004
Hey Shrink, Discovered your site tonight. Pretty nice. Must keep you busy. Just wondering about your questions. Are they primarily mental health matters? And how many do you get? Sincerely, JZ Dear JZ, When I first started this web page in 1997, I got on the average of about 2 serious questions per day and I posted 7 days per week. At its high point about 3 or 4 years ago, I was getting about 4 to 6 serious questions per day. Now I am lucky to get one or two per week. Since it is a free service without advertising or any commercial gain on my part, I can not devote a whole lot of time to it. However, it is something that I hope to continue doing on weekends in the future. While most of the questions involve mental heath, interpersonal or communications issues, I will try to answer any reasonable question. I will usually answer unreasonable questions, too, as long as they are not vulgar, incoherent, or mean-spirited. Please feel free to ask away. happy(waitingforagoodquestion)shrink And a good thought from BCJ:
A Great Philosophy to live by
Dear Happyshrink, Did
you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the
eyeball to the anus?
It's
called the anal optic nerve and is responsible for giving people a crappy
outlook on life. Mr. JeWitch Dear Mr. JeWitch, I don't know if pulling hairs from your ass is the only reason why you have a crappy outlook on life. Tell JeWitch to stop pulling those hairs, too. happy(ticklinghisa**withafeather)shrink
Date: March 6-7, 2004
Dear Happy Shrink: I have been unhappily involved in a relationship with a 24 year old woman for the past two years. Very early on in our relationship there was an unplanned pregnancy. My girlfriend, who has two children from a previous marriage, had our child 6 months ago. Because of the circumstances, I decided to move in with her to help raise the child. Consequently with the demands of her two children (ages 3 & 4), I have had to take on an increases responsibility for our child (feeding, clothing, bathing, etc.). This whole experienced has changed me tremendously, in a good way, however I do not feel loved or cared for by her in anyway. Simple things like showing affection (sitting next to me on the couch), having sex, saying thank you, and physical contact in bed are none existent anymore. More and more frequently she has been sleeping in the kids bed or in another room. I asked her why, and she tells me because she is tired and she just wants to sleep. I have tried to discuss my feelings with her on at least 5 occasions, and she sits there silently and gives me no feedback what-so-ever. After seven months of feeling unhappy, I started to consider leaving her. Her children, have a father that puts in a very minimal effort to see them, started to get very attached to me. One of them would even call me daddy sometimes. The only thing I could see for my future with this woman, is a loveless relationship based on taking care of the kids. As much as I want a strong family, I sincerely feel that I deserve better. Many of my friends have given me that advice to leave before her children get too attached to me. Finding out down the road that I want out of the relationship wouldn't be right to do to them also. I suggested counseling, and nothing was ever said in return. I recently picked up Dr. Laura's book on how to care for and feed your husband, and I was amazed at how much the book related to my life. I have since left her, and have let her know that I am not leaving my responsibility as a father. After I left, I mailed the book to her with a note that read "this may help you to understand why I left". I feel horrible about not being able to see my child as frequently anymore, however I truly feel that this is the right decision. My question is: Do you think because my decision was enforced by the book, that I made the right decision? MM Dear MM, Your decision wasn't enforced by the book. It was reinforced by the book. No book can make you do something you haven't decided on your own. Yes, you deserve more than living in a loveless relationship. If your partner was not willing to even make an effort or seek marriage counseling, there was little more you could do to make it work. So you took responsibility for your own happiness. Of course, you also have a responsibility for the child you fathered. I'm sure it is not easy living apart from child but you can still be a good parent. I have one last thought. There are too many children that come into the world as a result of passion without planning. Raising a child is tough even when to people who are in love and committed plan to start a family. Learn from this situation MM. Make sure that the next time you start a family. It's got all the right ingredients for everyone to be fed and cared for. Good luck. happy(wellcaredforandmuchtoowellfed)shrink And a few thoughts from the past: Comments
made in the year 1957: "It
won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone Compliments of Judiblueye, JeWitch and Edna have a conversation in the future when they are old and widowed: JeWitch: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer." Edna: "Well...I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7PM, and dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit. And he brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there but a beautiful car... a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all. Then he takes me out for dinner...marvelous dinner - lobster. Then we go see a show ...let me tell you, Martha, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me two times!" JeWitch: "Goodness gracious! So you are telling me I shouldn't go out with him?" Edna: "No, no, no...I'm just saying, wear an old dress!"
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