Postings from March 1-31, 2003
Date: March 30, 2003
Hi Happyshrink, My name is J****. I think I have some sort of clinical depression, but I'm not positive. It could just be that my life just sucks, well parts of it which I am in the process of trying to resolve. I just want a professional opinion. I am 22, mother of 2 boys (one's almost 5 and in preschool, and the other is turning 3 next month), my husband (we're not really married) is a crack addict. He's had his ups and downs and for the last 2mo it's more down than up. I don't work. I feel isolated, my friends and family are in Seattle, WA. I moved to CA when I found out I was pregnant and have gone back and forth 3 or 4 times trying to cope and adjust my life with an addict (that's a major reason I think I'm depressed ). I'm somewhat anti-social, have low very low self-esteem. I guess I like to stand out silently. If that makes any sense. Anyways, I get depressed and sad and angry and it mostly revolves around my husband. I've read about his addiction and have even joined online support groups. Its just that whenever he gets high or lies/steals to get high, those days I just can't seem to function. It's all I think about all day long. If it weren't for my kids I don't think I'd get out of bed at all. And when I get sad, all I want to do is sleep (or eat). Being a mother doesn't allow that. So instead, I get annoyed at my kids and I feel so guilty about it because they do what kids do and I end up yelling at them. And they shouldn't see me cry right? I cry all the time. My kids try to wipe my tears away sometimes. All in all, "Mommy's not much fun these days." Though I try. Sometimes, when things are ok in my life, I still get depressed for no reason. At times, I just want to cry but I don't know why I'm crying. Usually that's when I blame it on PMS, but PMS doesn't last throughout the month does it? I'm trying to save up enough to leave my husband so hopefully in the future his part in my depression will go away but I've been this way since I was 14. Somehow stuff that happens is my fault. And then I try to figure out what's so wrong with me and my thinking. Please let me know what you think. Sincerely, J**** Dear J****, Your situation is clearly the problem. Even when you have one of those "ok" days, how can you help but think soon it will be over and you will be dealing with two needy children and a crack addicted husband? Nothing will help until you get out of the situation you are in. See if you family is willing to help you get out of this relationship. If they are not a resource, then perhaps a social service agency in your area can help. Even being on public assistance is better than the situation you are in now. Don't just wait for the day you will be able to leave your husband. That day won't come by itself and the longer you stay in this dysfunctional environment, the harder it will be to escape. Things will still be hard without him J****. There are no easy answers to this problem, nor are there any quick fixes. You are 22 years old and it's time for you to take responsibility for your own as well as you kids well being. Neither you nor your kids can function well in your current situation. It is damaging you and your children J****. You have to do something about it now. As far as your depression and low self-esteem is concerned, perhaps these were some of the reasons why you hooked up with your husband in the first place and had a child at age 17. You will need to work on these issues at some point but only after you get out of the situation you are in. I know it's not going to be easy J**** but somehow you need to find the strength to do the right thing for both you and your children. Please feel free to write me again for support but find resources in your area that can give you concrete help and get you into a better environment. Good luck J**** happy(lifeishardandchangeisharder)shrink
Dear happyshrink, Is this normal: This guy I've been seeing does the following: When lovemaking he asks me "who's your daddy", and always references me as his "little girl" or "girl." He told me he masturbates, and looks at porn. He is 38 and has had very limited sexual relations. Is the above normal for a man? Why the little girl thing? anon Dear anon, I don't like to comment on the concept of normal, because normal isn't always healthy. What is healthy is often the source of debate among people as it involves moral values as well as clinical issues. I will still try to answer your question as best I can from the viewpoint of a happyshrink. It's not unusual for men to masturbate to pornography; especially men with limited sexual relations. I don't see that as unhealthy for most men. Is is also common for men as well as women to have sexual fantasies and among those fantasies can be younger women or younger men. If the fantasies involve children, then this is unhealthy and should be of concern. If the fantasy is around youthful but physically developed individuals, it may or may not be a problem depending on how it is acted out. If your boyfriend hangs out at high schools, shopping malls and other places where he can observe teenage girls, I would say that is unhealthy. If he merely has some fantasies about younger "women," I would not be worried about that. I have one last comment anon. Part of a good relationship is being compatible sexually as well as emotionally. If your boyfriend's verbalizations during lovemaking bother you, you need to ask him to stop. While there is nothing wrong with sexual role playing and fantasy, there needs to be two consenting adults participating. If you find "who's you daddy" or "little girl" objectionable (which you have every right to feel), then he needs to respect your feelings. If this is a problem for him, then its probably a problem for you and you need to consider moving on. I hope my answer is helpful to you. Please let me know what you think. happy(fantasizingmostlyaboutchinesefoodthesedays)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, Did you ever notice the differences about men and women when they do banking at a drive through ATM machine? Some men are so intolerant that it takes us gals just a wee bit longer to do our business. HIM: 1. Pull up to ATM. 2. Insert card. 3. Enter PIN number and account. 4. Take cash, card and receipt. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ HER: 1. Pull up to ATM. 2. Check makeup in rear view mirror. 3. Shut off engine. 4. Put keys in purse. 5. Get out of car because you're too far from machine. 6. Hunt for card in purse. 7. Insert card. 8. Hunt in purse for tampon wrapper with PIN number written on it. 9. Enter PIN number. 10. Study instructions for at least 2 minutes. 11. Hit "cancel" 12. Re-enter correct PIN number. 12A Hit "cancel." 12B Call husband/boyfriend to get correct PIN number. 13. Check balance. 14. Look for envelope. 15. Look in purse for pen. 16. Make out deposit slip. 17. Endorse checks. 18. Make deposit. 19. Study instructions. 20. Make cash withdrawal. 21. Get in car. 22. Check makeup. 23. Look for keys. 24. Start car. 25. Check makeup. 26. Start pulling away. 27. STOP. 28. Back up to machine. 29. Get out of car. 30. Take card and receipt. 31. Get back in car. 32. Put card in wallet. 33. Put receipt in checkbook. 34. Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook. 35. Clear area in purse for wallet and checkbook. 36. Check makeup. 37. Put car in gear, reverse. 38. Put car in drive. 39. Drive away from machine. 40. Travel 3 miles. 41. Release parking brake.
JeWitch Dear JeWitch, That's why I do all my banking on-line. happy(tiredofwaitingandwaitingandwaiting....)shrink
Date: March 29, 2003
Dear Happyshrink, I've been going around and around on this one topic with Dr. Peabody. According to him, positive self-esteem comes from within, not from outside sources. I think that it is impossible to form positive self-esteem without positive feedback from the environment: For example: If a person hears every day that they are fat and ugly, only a person who was completely out of touch with reality would be able to form an image of themselves as anything else. And if a person has heard that every day for 20 years, just telling them that positive self-esteem comes from within is not going to erase the 20 years of negative feedback. Any thoughts? Sincerely, Judiblueye Dear Judiblueye, I would agree with you that self-esteem is very much a function of the messages we received while we were growing up. Most often people receive "mixed messages." We are praised from our achievements and reprimanded for our mistakes. When we grow up in dysfunctional families, the negative messages may be unfair or overly harsh. Since no one is perfect, all of us receive negative messages while we are growing up and as a result, everyone has self-esteem issues. Even the "beautiful people" have them Judi. Where I will agree with Dr. Peabody is how one develops a greater sense of self esteem while they are adults. It doesn't come from praises. In fact, many people with self esteem issues are mistrustful of praise and may actually attract criticism because it feels more familiar. There is no easy way to develop self-esteem but these are the things you need to do: 1-Accept your imperfections as well as acknowledge your assets. 2-Work on improving things you can improve. 3-Acknowledge that there are things you can't improve and have no control over. 4-Learn to laugh during times of sadness and cry during times of joy. All of these abilities come from within Judi. They are not easy to accomplish. Self-esteem is hard to find but it's there so keep searching! happy(stillsearching)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, Are you tired of all those sissy, mushy "friendship" poems that always sound good but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship! 1. When you are sad ...I will get you drunk (or gorge on chocolate) and help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad. 2. When you are blue. . I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you. 3. When you smile ...I'll know you finally got laid. 4. When you are scared ...I will rag you about it every chance I get. 5. When you are worried ...I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining. 6. When you are confused ...I will use little words to explain. 7. When you are sick, ...stay away from me until you're well again. I don't want whatever you have. 8. When you fall, ...I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass. This is my oath, ....I pledge 'til the end. Why you may ask? Because you're my friend! Send this to ten of your closest friends and get depressed because you can only think of two, and one of them is not speaking to you right now anyway. Remember: A friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. Reverend Al, Dear Reverend Al, The only two people I could think of sending your letter to are Edna and JeWitch. Luckily, neither of them are talking to me right now. happy(bringtheshoveljustincase)shrink
Date: March 23, 2003
Dear Happy Shrink, P*** Dear P*** It is not uncommon for individuals on psychotropic medication to shake and walk in a stiff manner. Cogentin can help these side effects but sometimes the entire medication regimen needs to be adjusted. It's not always as simple as raising the Cogentin. There are no guarantees when you adjust medications and no one can assure you that your mom won't end up in the hospital. If the shaking and stiffness really interferes with your mom's functioning, it's worth a try to see if it can't be managed better. That's really a decision that you, your mom and her doctor should make together. Good luck and let me know how things turn out. happy(andstillabitshakey)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, This may be the silliest question you ever received...but here goes. I am a healthy 46 year old man who has a high sex drive. I think about it a lot of the time and would like sex every day. When I met my girlfriend 4 years ago, our sex was fantastic. We had sex about 5 to 6 times a week. This lasted for about 2 and 1/2 years. Now we are down to 1 to 2 times. Those times are great, but because the sex is great, I want her more. So now every time we go to bed, after
being rejected almost every night I have to try to stay away from her. If
I go near her, I get aroused. My question is, is there any kind of
medicine or vitamin I could take that would lower my sex drive? I think
back in my past, just about all of my adult life I have loved sex. But I
am becoming crazy and love my girlfriend. I am afraid that as we keep
going like this, It will start to hurt our almost perfect relationship. M*** Dear M*** I don't think your sex drive is abnormal and I don't think that lowering it will make you happier. While your relationship with your girlfriend is great in all other ways, you need to work on this issue to sustain it. If you are not getting your needs met and feel you are rejected on a daily basis, how long will it be before you start to resent it? My suggestion is that you and your girlfriend get some couples counseling. You need the opportunity to express your needs to your girlfriend and not feel you are being unreasonable. Get the help you need so the two of you can continue to enjoy one another. happy(andalwaysreasonable)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, Here is the abridged version of the situation: The mother of my son is married to someone else. She was married to this person and had a child with him prior to our relationship. After becoming pregnant with our child, she reconciled her marriage. Our son just turned 2 in January. Her husband has displayed what I consider to be difficulty in acceptance of the situation, and goes to greet lengths to hide this reality from others. Recent example. Court has ordered child's name to be hyphenated; reflecting the surname of both myself (biological father) and his mother's married last name. Birth certificate and social security card have been changed to reflect this. Our son's pediatrician called me to complain that my child's mother's husband became very abusive with the office staff, demanding that the name on the medical record be changed to not contain my surname. Even after they showed him the court order, birth certificate and social security card, he would not calm down. His anger and abusiveness got to such a level that the doctor's office is strongly considering dropping my son as a patient. Since her reconciliation, on numerous occasions my child's mother has seemingly made decisions that favor her husbands position, even when they are not in the best interest of our child. Her own family members have told me that both her and her husband seem to go to great lengths to make others believe the my son is his son. My concern; based on all that has transpired, which I am sure is mental taxing on all parties concerned, I am worried that instead of actual acceptance, the step-father has created a fantasy world in his mind, in which his wife's transgressions never happened and this child is actually his. I worry that this mind set will have an adverse impact on my son, specifically with regard to misinformation and its impact on my son's mental well being and at some point when reality sets in and her husbands propensity to become angry the chance that verbal and/or physical abuse may occur. I honestly believe that the my son's mother feels a great deal of guilt with regard to her role in the situation. She is very subservient to her husband, who when she filed for divorce stated was very manipulative, overly strict with her other son, and much the disciplinarian. Are my concerns feasible? What do I do to protect my child? GJ Dear GJ, This is a very messy situation to say the least, however I'm not sure if your primary concern is to protect your child or to protect your parental rights. Both are valid needs for you, however they are different and you need to be able to distinguish between the two of them. In both cases though, an attorney can advise you better than I. As the courts recognize you as the biological father, you do have parental rights and an attorney can advice you how best to exercise them. I think the key here is to determine first what is in your child's best interest. What is going to make his life as healthy as possible given some very unhealthy circumstances. I can understand your negative feelings towards your son's stepfather but if he is trying to be a good parent, his being in denial that you exist may not be that important. You are just as responsible as your son's mother for bringing him into the world and both of you need to take responsibility for his best interest. He's not a piece of property. He's a little boy who needs love and reassurance and not confusion. Whatever you decide to do GJ should be based on that. I wish you luck in your efforts. Please feel free to write again. happy(whenchildrenaregivenunconditionallove)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, Being VERY MUCH opposed to the war that our Mad Dictator has created, I am much in need for some "stress reduction." Here is one I use .. feel free to try it yourself .. "Stress Reduction Technique" Sit quietly and inhale deeply and slowly through your nose. Exhale slowly. Picture yourself near a stream. Birds are softly chirping in the crisp cool mountain air. Nothing can bother you here. No one knows this secret place. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity. The water is clear. You breathe deeply. You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you're holding under the water. Look, it's the person who caused you all this stress in the first place. What a pleasant surprise. You let them up ... just for a quick breath ...then ploop! ... Back under they go. You allow yourself to take as many deep breaths as you want. There now ... feeling better? JeWitch ™ Dear JeWitch, I liked it better when you just kept repeating, "Calm blue ocean, Calm blue ocean, Calm blue ocean, Calm blue ocean, Calm blue ocean, Calm blue ocean, Calm blue ocean, Calm blue ocean, Calm blue...... happy(Ifeelbetternow)shrink
Date: March 22, 2003
Happyshrink, I have had major depression for most of my life...suicidal ideation never far from consciousness. For the past 9 months or so, I haven't felt like I am in the midst of depression, but yet I seem to be experiencing some of the so called signs and symptoms such as inability to concentrate, feeling of being in a fog...more my brain and the thinking process than anything and then the most annoying aspect because it is visible is emotional lability...I can cry at the drop of the hat and then am back to normal. I'm not really sad but I do have plenty to be sad about. I am taking Adderall and have come to the conclusion that it is the cause of the emotional lability, but without it, I wouldn't be able to function. I am on Synthroid due to hypothyroidism and it is the only drug I want to take. I am more and more frustrated because I don't want to be like this and yet can't seem to control it, stop it or change it. UGH!!!!! Any suggestions? C*** Dear C*** If you think there might be a better medication regimen for you, I would get a second opinion from another psychiatrist. Your thyroid condition can also affect your moods and ability to concentrate. You may blame the Adderall for your emotional lability, but it might be caused by the Synthroid you are taking. Check with both your psychiatrist and your family physician. Like many people on psycho-active medications you wish you would not have to take it. I don't blame you but if it enables you to function, then you have to learn to live with being on medication. You might want to look into a support group. Many outpatient mental health clinics have groups for individuals suffering from depression and I suggest you find one in your area. It is unfortunate that mental illness is still looked upon by many as a character flaw or weakness. This is certainly not the case and it needs to be treated just like any medical condition. That's the best I can do as far as suggestions C***. Please feel free to write me again. happy(seeingtheglassashalffull)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, Therapy has really been bad lately, I don't do it well. I look at my therapist and I feel as if he wishes I would just go away. I hate the ups and downs and I hate what I am . I feel the pressure to be normal, to be better. The hospital bills have piled up and I am running out of time and options. Anyone else would be better by now; not me. I'm so stupid. I am going in so many directions, it makes me dizzy. What happens from day to day is a blur, I just smile and act as if I know. I have to make everyone happy, must make them believe I am OK so that they don't look at me with anger and frustration. I start remembering bad things and I am afraid, I don't want to be left alone. I'm scared daddy I have to find a place to hide. M*** Dear M***, I'm not so sure your therapist wishes you would just go away. It sounds to me like you are really beating up on yourself and projecting your own self disgust on everyone else. Yes, people want you to be healthier and I am sure some of your family members are frustrated. That doesn't mean that they don't love and care about you. Maybe you have to stop worrying about how others feel and start working on caring about yourself. You are not stupid and you are not worthless. Start believing in that and you will begin the process of healing. I wish I could do more for you M***. I wish I could take away the pain and the demons. I wish I could make you feel safe. But I can't do that and neither can your therapist. Only you can do that. I'm rooting for you M***. A lot of people are rooting for you. That's the best we can do. happy(knowsthisisn'teasyforyou)shrink
Date: March 16, 2003
Dear happyshrink, I am 70 pounds overweight due to meds I've taken and am currently taking. Is there any other meds I can take to decrease weight gain, but still works for the same disability. I have, paranoid-schizophrenia. Please help, thank you, weightcausingstress..... Dear weightcausingstress, I can certainly understand how frustrating this must be for you. Some of the most effective medications in treating schizophrenia have weight gain as a side effect. Zyprexa is the most noted of these antipsychotic medications. While there are newer medications for schizophrenia that don't have weight gain as a side effect, there are no guarantees that they will be as effective in reducing your symptoms. Still, your weight gain poses health risks as well as self esteem issues that can't be overlooked when considering your overall wellness. What you need to do is speak to your psychiatrist about alternative medications. Your psychiatrist may be willing to try another medication on a trial basis to see if it controls your symptoms and also helps you to lose weight. If your psychiatrist is not willing to do this, you might want to consider getting a second opinion. This is not a simple situation weightcausingstress. You need to work closely with your psychiatrist to ensure that you maintain the best balance of health and wellness. Good luck and let me know what happens. happy(balancinghealthwellnessandtimemanagment)shrink
Hello, I was wondering if you could refer me to the right doctor. I am unsure of whether I need a family physician or a psychologist. Over the past year and a half, I have gained almost 100 lbs. I cannot get to sleep at night - I will lay in bed for an hour or more, have no luck of getting to sleep, and end up staying up the majority of the night. I usually go to bed at about 4am and wake up at 8am, then find myself extremely tired in the day. From reading on the internet, it seems I may have a problem with depression. If I do, I seem completely unaware. What are your opinions on this, should I see a counselor or a family physician? Thanks, Mic Dear Mic, I think you need to see a your family physician regarding your overall health which clearly has been affected by a 100lb weight gain. You should also see a psychiatrist to help you with your depression or whatever you might be suffering from. I am not sure if your depression and other symptoms are a result of the weight gain or if the weight gain is a result of the depression. A psychiatrist working in conjunction with a family physician can help to identify and treat these problems Mic. Get the help you need now. You don't have to live your life with sleepless nights and ongoing fatigue. Please let me know how you make out. happy(sleepinglikeababyintheGardenState)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 4 years ago. I am 27, a mother of 3. my problem is this: I cut the cuticles of my fingernails off, and any other dead skin on my fingernails or toe nails. sometimes I will sit for hours digging at my nails. It is very embarrassing and I sometimes need to bandage my fingers so people will not see them. My thumbs are especially bad. if I am digging at my nails, and I have to stop quickly for something, it stays on my mind until I can finish cutting the dead skin. If my fingernails look free of dead skin, I am satisfied and might not pick at them for days, although some days i can pick too long. I am a nervous person, high strung, and I don't sleep unless I take sleeping meds at night. When i pick at my nails I feel better, especially when I get the dead skin off. What is wrong with me? I do not cut myself to hurt myself. I feel satisfied in someway when I'm doing this. Sometimes I accidentally do cut too deep, but I will not stop unless the skin is off. I use a little pair of scissors, or a sharp knife to do this. Is this ocd? QJ Dear QJ, Your symptoms do sound a lot like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) but it could also be a result of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or other psychiatric conditions. I would urge you to speak to your psychiatrist about this behavior. While you are being treated for your bipolar symptoms, you also need to be treated for other conditions that are clearly affecting you. The best person to help you with these problems is your psychiatrist. If your psychiatrist does not seem to be helpful, get a second opinion. Find out what's wrong QJ and get the right kind of help to treat it. Good luck and let me know what you find out. happy(gettingtherightkindofhelp)shrink
Judiblueye responds to a letter from last week: Dear Happyshrink, Regarding "D", any man who thinks he can live with a woman with a small child and also thinks that the small child will "Have nothing to do with me", is sorely mistaken. As any single parent will attest, we're a package deal. Mr. D should get out of there as fast as possible and make sure not to get involved with any other women with children until he is mature enough to deal with the whole situation. Maybe that will be never. Sincerely, Judiblueye Dear Judiblueye, You make a very good point that people you get involved with who have children who are not yet grown are a package deal. I wish more people who get into this situation would have a better understanding about that. I have a feeling though that in the case of D, the child is the least of the problem. Children can be a source of resentment especially if the biological parent is using the child as a pawn in a manipulation. The manipulation going on in D's situation is far reaching and it sounds to me like the child is not the real problem. Mom is. D does sound like he's got some growing up to do as far as issues of commitment and understanding what he wants in a relationship. I'm just not sure that the kid is the issue. I would be interested in what other people think. happy(noregretswithmypackagedeal)shrink
Date: March 15, 2003
Dear Happyshrink, I was in a bad car accident on1/30/03. Since driving again I have been experiencing flashbacks of the accident. I'm sure this is normal, but what would be a normal timeframe for these flashbacks to go away? And should I seek help for it? Kr Dear Kr, It is common for people who suffer from trauma to experience post traumatic stress in the form of nightmares, flashbacks, phobic reactions and hypervigilance. For some people, this trauma will go away by itself in a short time. For others, it may turn into post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) which can last a very long time and may not go away without treatment. Keep in mind that there is a difference between a normal or common reaction and a healthy resolution. I would suggest that you do see a counselor or therapist who specializes in PTSD. There are many different treatments that can help reduce or even eliminate your flashbacks. Get the help you need now so that you can put this trauma behind you and live a healthy life. Please let me know how things work out. happy(puttingtraumabehindmeandfacingnewones)shrink
Dear
Happyshrink, When I
do get him to make love to me it is only about every three weeks. He has
been told by his Dr. that he should take care of me even if he isn't
interested for himself because I have needs too. She told him we have to
have some intimacy to keep the relationship alive. He has done nothing she
suggested. D Dear D, There is nothing wrong with masturbation and sometimes men (and women) need to have their sexual needs met this way. I don't know too many men who aren't attracted to pretty young women (late teens and early twenties are women in every physical sense of the word if not emotional) so that isn't a surprise or something really pathological unless he's stalking someone or seeking out underaged individuals. If your response to his masturbating and looking at younger women is judgmental and negative this can be a turnoff to him. His lack of sexual interest towards you may be a passive aggressive response to your attitude if he feels you are making him seem like a pervert. On the other hand (not meaning it as a pun) there are your needs and the need for your relationship to be sexually as well as emotionally fulfilling. You have every right to expect your mate to fulfill your needs as well as his. If this isn't happening, you might want to consider couples counseling. You might also consider seeing a sex therapist together to find ways to have a richer sex life. If these ideas fail, you may have to consider moving on D. While there are some relationships that can sustain themselves without or with little sex, most need sexual intimacy. Don't settle for what can end up to be a very frustrating and bitter experience. Work on getting your needs met from this guy or start looking elsewhere. happy(wheneveryonefeelsfulfilled)shrink
Hi Happyshrink, My name is A*** and I am 23 years old. I've been diagnosed with ADHD, GAD, social anxiety disorder, depression and extreme OCD. I've smoked marijuana heavily the past 4 years and although I've recently stopped I've developed severe panic attacks that last for days at a time. I get no relief from them and I am taking Lexapro, Klonopin and Neurontin and nothing seems to work. I have to get out of this state or I have to die. Is it possible that my heavy marijuana use caused permanent brain damage and put me into a constant panicked state that I will never get out of. I would appreciate any feedback. Thanks, A*** Dear A*** While marijuana isn't really physically addictive, it can be emotionally addictive especially if you used it as a means of treating some of your psychiatric symptoms. It may be hard to adjust to new medications that work very differently than marijuana and there may be a time period where you won't get the symptom relief that you desire. The good news is that this should not be a permanent situation. Eventually, you should see some results from the medication you are taking. Your psychiatrist may need to adjust the dosages and even change medications, but I do believe that in the long run, you can get significant relief of your symptoms. That doesn't mean you will be cured A*** and a support group might also help you live better with your disorders. I urge you to be patient and give the medications some time to work. I also hope you will find a support group in your area so that you can understand you are not alone in have these symptoms. Sometimes the best advice can be advice you get from someone going through the same things you are going through. Good luck and please update me on your progress. happy(andalwayshopeful)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, Look for my son Andy's new HIT RECORD in your local record store !!! Remember me telling you that he was going on the road with his band ?? Well things didn't work out for him - he was never very good at "getting along with others." That's what his report card always said .. but when his band pushed their car out of the parking lot in the middle of the night so that Andy wouldn't hear the loud muffler and wake up, he was all alone, he had no choice but to try and make it on his own. He sent me a small video that someone shot in the motel room. I think it is THE BEST SONG I EVER HEARD. He said he was sitting in that empty motel room thinking about what his Aunt JeWitch said about this year's Super Bowl .. ".... the Super Bowl is GAY." ... and now my son Andy is going to be FAMOUS !! You will see .. Edna Dear Edna, I just can't wait to hear Andy's new song. Just remember that Eminem didn't get along with a whole lot of people either and his mom sounded a lot like you. You may have given birth to the next great white wrapper.... I mean "rapper!" Nice hearing from you after all this time. happy(8mileshigh)shrink
Date: March 9, 2003
Hi Happyshrink, I have lived with a mental problem for 7 years now that I want it badly to end. I don't know how to be myself. When I am around people I don't know how to talk to them and there isn't much that I enjoy. It is not as though I have social anxiety. I can say the kind of scripted things like "hi how are you". My problem is I think consciously when I am around others about how can I make them laugh, because humor is the key to a gaining friendship or a woman's heart. The problem I have is like a guy becoming speechless and at a loss for words when in contact with a girl he has a crush on, because he badly wants to impress her. Well this kind of loss for words I experience with every person, including my family. I once read a sports psychologist that said "thinking consciously about something is tremendously disruptive". To give an example it is like insomnia, which there is a number of contributing factors but what causes it much of the time is thinking excessively about going to sleep and how you want to go to sleep. In the past I saw two different psychologists and two different psychiatrists to provide help for my problem, but they could not. Though at the time I didn't have this hypothesis of "thinking consciously" for the cause of inability to be social. I was given a number different medications; none worked. After much speculation and various diagnoses I was ultimately diagnosed as having Asperger's syndrome. I didn't agree with this, and still don't. The reason is because throughout these past 7 years I have had a best friend who calls me his best friend, and whenever I am around him, I act naturally and like myself. There has also been very rare times where all of sudden I find myself acting naturally, confidently, and like myself. A few of these times followed great achievements on my part which really boosted my confidence. I think I suffer from virtually no confidence in my self which leads me to think excessively about how I can impress others or make others laugh. I don't have friends nor can I talk with family or anyone, the word lonely means nothing to me. To my very great dismay I am now becoming this way around my best friend, he has been living far away for a about half a year and we just communicate via e-mail, but now I can't write to him without thinking so excessively about how to write something funny that just end up at a loss of words, mute. It is very sad he had plans of me being the best man at his wedding and getting closer to me, and now I can't talk to him. I think I have understated how devastating living with this has been. I don't think I really can comprehend it myself. I would like to maybe see another psychologist and psychiatrist and explain what I am sharing with you to them but I cant afford it, I have little money and no longer have health insurance. Have you heard of anyone else living like this? Is there name for this condition? How do you suggest I rid myself of this? I apologize for the length and poor grammar of this letter. Thank you for your time and consideration. Any insight or simple acknowledgment would be tremendously appreciated. M Dear M, I too am doubtful of the diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome. This is a developmental condition that doesn't just emerge in early adulthood. People who suffer from Asperger's syndrome have poor insight and little ability to see what their problems are about. This does not seem to be the case with you. I would agree that you need to see a therapist to talk about some of your issues of self-esteem and communicating with others. The process of therapy may take some time and there is no quick fix to your situation. If you don't have medical insurance, you might want to look into clinics in your area that may charge on a sliding scale. I do have one thought about what you wrote that I wish to share with you. When you are with your best friend you don't have the need to tell jokes or "perform." In your own words you can "act naturally." Life isn't about telling jokes or performing for others. It's about acting naturally. That's the key to developing more friendships and intimacies M. Not everybody will like you and maybe if you can come to terms with that, you may be able to be yourself and "act naturally" around people. You may not impress everyone but you may do a better job than you are doing now. Please understand that my thoughts should not be construed that acting naturally is easy. It's not, especially when you are young. You are still in the process of developing an identity and feeling good about yourself. Many people struggle with this issue M. You are not alone in feeling the way you do. Get the help you need so you can feel better. Please feel free to write me again and let me know how you are doing. happy(Itainteasybeingme)shrink
Dear Happy Shrink, A few nights ago I received a sobbing phone call from my 21 year old daughter. Her boyfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up with her with no explanation. This has never happened to her before and she is having a hard time coping with the anxiety and emotion of it all. Being hundreds of miles away I am unable to rush to her rescue. Short of just listening to her what magic words can a sympathetic Mom say to help soothe her broken heart. As a Mom, I want to make it all better for her. Regards, Sympathetic Mom Dear Sympathetic Mom, I can certainly empathize with your feelings about your child's pain. At age 21 though, our children are beyond the kissing booboos to make them feel better stage. This is something your daughter will have to struggle with on her own, but you can be reassuring and loving. You might even suggest she speak to a counselor or therapist to help her get over her grief. There is no quick fix to the loss of a 2½ year relationship however, your daughter is young and has a lot of living ahead of her. Things will eventually get better. Even though you are hundreds of miles away, your voice and your support is helpful. Just keep being the good and sympathetic mom that you have always been. happy(andasympatheticdad)shrink
DEAR HAPPYSHRINK, MY MOTHER HAS PANIC ATTACKS AND HAS HAD THEM FOR ABOUT 20YRS. SHE ONLY GETS THEM WHEN SHE IS IN PUBLIC OR AROUND CROWDS OF PEOPLE THAT SHE DOES NOT KNOW. SHE HAS ALWAYS DEALT WITH THIS WITHOUT MEDS. BUT SHE HAS NEVER WORKED BECAUSE OF THIS TOO. RECENTLY SHE IS GOING TO RECEIVE CUSTODY OF HER TWO GRANDCHILDREN, WHICH SHE HAS TAKEN CARE OF MANY OF TIMES BEFORE BUT THEY'RE ARE QUESTIONING HER ABILITY TO DO SO. ARE YOU ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF CHILDREN WITH THIS DISORDER? BK Dear BK, People who suffer from panic attacks can live healthy and productive lives. I don't know how often your mother is in situations where she might have these attacks. If she gets them often, I would suggest she see a psychiatrist and be evaluated for medication. There are medications that can reduce and possibly eliminate panic attacks and this should be a consideration. I don't know the circumstances with regard to your mother's grandchildren and how much of a challenge they would be for her, but her panic attacks if managed properly should not be a factor. I hope things work out. Please let me know. happy(andsometimesinapanic)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, It's me, Mildred here. I'm sorry I haven't written you in awhile. Gilbert has been keeping me busy now that he is in semi-retirement. He only works 3 days a week at the Discount Beer Outlet and you know how fussy he is about his lunches. It can take me hours to prepare his favorite sandwiches. Enough about Gilbert. The reason that I'm writing to ask you what I can do to help my niece Eunice. She's in 7th grade and she hates school. It is almost impossible to get her to pick up a book and read. I have this terrible fear that she will end up like one of Edna's white trash kids. She's even friends with Andie and you know how I feel about that little snot nose. How can I get her to stay away from those undesirables and be a good student? What's the matter with kids today anyhow? Don't they know that a good education like me and Gilbert has can enable them to get good jobs as cashiers and even convenience store managers? What can I do to whip my niece Eunice in shape? Sincerely, Mildred Thigpen Dear Mildred, You might want to start by getting the school to change the reading list for their seventh grade students. Edna's son Andie sent it to me to see if I could send him the classic comics version. When I saw the list it was apparent to me why your niece and Andie hate to read. Just look:
This reading list is almost the same one that I was forced to read almost 40 years ago. It may have worked for us during the "spare the rod and spoil the child" era, but it doesn't work for kids today. I would suggest you the school board to add such classics as, "South Park: The Novel", "Beavis and Butthead's Excellent Adventure" and of course the publications that helped me to love to read; Mad Magazine. With a new curriculum, Eunice and Andie will be able to aspire to such jobs as service station attendant, 911 operator and "Valet de Lavator." Good luck to your niece and send my congratulations to Gilbert on his semi-retirement.
Date: March 8, 2003
To whom ever can help: I'm a 27 year old black Houston male with no kids. The last girlfriend I had was when I was 21 because my mother was really overprotective and I couldn't get out much. Last year she passed away and pretty much left me alone. I met this girl through a friend and at first I thought It was the best thing that ever happened, but now its different. I don't feel she's the same person I professed my love for originally. I love her and her son which is why I guess were still together, but I think I'm used to being alone because it was just me and my mom and then suddenly she was gone. Now this girl and I get into an argument every time I want a little. I don't go out and I don't have any friends but I like to spend time in my study on my computer, and even this is a problem. I can't help but feel like anything in my life that isn't about her and this child of hers is like her enemy, and she's trying to take every moment of any spare time I have to force to be with her or her 1 year old. We're all living in my house, driving my car, I'm paying all the bills, but we get into a violent argument if I want to be left alone for an hour. I told her plainly that I'm not happy with the relationship and want it to end, but she keeps forcing her way back in. Even after she struck me and I locked her out after she left and told her it was over she spent 2hours outside my house trying to force her and her son back into my life. I was alone for along time and suddenly after a tragedy in my life I meet this girl and her son and I thought I wasn't alone anymore. But now I can't even read a book, or watch a TV show, or call one person I know with out this girl begging me to marry her, or hold her son, or bug me for sex. I'm typing this during the only peaceful time I have All day, when they're asleep. I love them both I think, but I can't stop missing my single life any more. I miss having this whole house to my self, I'm sick of her following me all over the house, begging me for sex, or the sound of her son crying all day; or her putting her son in my face every chance she gets. I've tried to talk to her so many different ways so many times but its had no effect. I can't get to leave the house for anything, I can't leave by myself, and I'm on the verge of some kind of break down from the stress of these two. I love her and her son but I feel so put upon. I'm sharing my home and finances and helping her with a son that has nothing to do with me but all I feel I'm getting is I can't even be left alone in the bathroom. I miss my mother more than everything but I miss that special freedom that I had between the months when I could deal with my mother's death more and before I met my girlfriend. Before the sound of a screaming baby pierced my ears, and I had to get into an argument because my girlfriend is jealous of the girl on TV. Can you please tell me if you have some idea if I'm feeling this way because of my mother or is this a relationship that I need to go ahead and just end. There are many times I fear that the fighting we do will have a negative impact on her child. I love them deep down inside, but I miss going out whenever I felt like and not having to hear a word about it from anyone. I feel I have an opportunity to start a family, but I'm so sick of all the fighting and the lack of space, and having her and her son climbing all over me every second they're awake. This is the type of relationship that doesn't end with a conversation but with the police since they've been to my house 6 times this year and before this girl came into my life the police had never been summoned to my house even one single time in 26 years. Now they've come 6 times this year, and I nearly called them yesterday., I don't want to take such a drastic step because I might hurt her, but I feel every time I wake up its like I'm suffering, and all I've become is "that guy who takes care of her and her son". Am I just being selfish? Please Please Please HELP!!! D Dear D, Your mother's death created a void in your life. You tried to fill this void with this woman and her son. Clearly it is not working the way you wanted it to and clearly you need to do something about it. Only you can decide to end this relationship. No therapist or counselor can do that for you. No one can ask her to leave but you and no one can stop you from taking her back when she tries to "force her way back." This isn't an easy problem to solve D and you might need to call the police for a seventh, eight and ninth time. While a therapist or counselor can't tell you what is the "right" thing to do, they might be able to give you support and insight as to why you are "stuck." If you think you made a mistake by getting hooked up with this women, then act now. It's only going to get harder as time goes on. You are in quicksand up to your ankles today, but you will be in quicksand up to your knees in a little while. Pull yourself out D. Get help if you need it but act NOW! happy(knowstheconsequencesofnotactingquickenough)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, I am a healthy productive person, but I am a news junkie and go through these terrible bouts of overwhelming sadness for the suffering of other people, whether it's an abused or terminally ill child or the victims of 9/11, the homeless, or child victims of war in Sierra Leone etc... I get terribly depressed (not to be confused with suicidal depression) and feel like there's no point in anything when this type of suffering is going on in the world with no end in sight. Is this a common problem? Is there a name for it? I can barely watch the news without feeling this way. I have a good job, good family, etc...but can't stand that other's go through this on a small and big scale. thanks BK Dear BK, I think your problem is more common today than ever before. During 9/11 our whole country was traumatized. Feeling overwhelmed, hopeless and depressed was a normal response to a horrific situation. For some people, counseling was necessary as they displayed symptoms of PTSD. Among the symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder is hyper-vigilance. Currently, our government is telling us to be hyper-vigilant as a means of fighting terrorism. While I can appreciate this need, it isn't a very healthy way to conduct one's life. There will always be pain and suffering in the world and there will always be risk. I don't know if I ever want to ignore those facts but I certainly don't want it to impair my ability to live my life or feel joy and happiness. If you feel that these feelings are preventing you from being happy, you might want to consider seeing a counselor or therapist. Sometimes an extreme reaction to other people's pain and suffering can be a function of earlier issues and may include feelings of guilt and shame. One alternative way that some people have reacted to 9/11 as well as other tragic events is to volunteer a little bit of their time to help others. While such an act doesn't eliminate all the pain and suffering in the world, it does make people feel empowered that they can make life a little better for a few. That is something else to think about BK. Please feel free to write me again with some of your thoughts. happy(helpingafewpeopleatatime)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, How can you tell if you have ADD? I'm sixteen and my friends and some of my teachers all say I act like I do, like I'm the poster child for it, and I can't sit still or pay attention during my classes. My parents don't believe me when I tell them that I have ADD, maybe it's because they're in denial or maybe it's because my teachers don't complain to them anymore. When I was younger my teachers all got mad that I never paid attention and liked to draw instead of listen or take notes, but I do really well in school and my grades don't reflect that I don't listen or care, but--not to sound conceited or anything--I'm pretty smart and I can pull of good grades without a lot of attentiveness. Everything distracts me and I fidget a lot and have to get up and take walks to calm myself down. I can't think about the same subject or talk about it for very long before I need to switch. Is there anyway I can tell if I have ADD? --scarlett Dear scarlett, While a lot of what you described sounds like ADD, the only sure way of determining if you have ADD is to be tested. I'm not sure if you can request the testing yourself or you need your parents to do so but I would try to have that occur. I would also suggest you speak to a guidance counselor and/or you family physician about this situation so that they might speak to your parents about getting tested. Even though you are a smart kid and get good grades, you are probably not working to your potential because of your distractibility. By being evaluated by a team of psychologists, psychiatrists and educators, you can be properly diagnosed and even more important, properly treated. Not everyone who is inattentive in class and easily distracted suffers from ADD. There can be other conditions that may cause similar symptoms. Whatever your condition is, it needs to be treated correctly. Find a way to get yourself evaluated scarlett. Use all the resources you have including your teachers, physicians and even clergy to get your parents to understand how important this issue is. Good luck and please let me know how you make out. happy(andjustoneofmanyresourcesontheInternet)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, I have just been put on Zoloft 100 mg a day. I took Wellbutrin for many years before but recently it didn't seem to be working as I was very anxious most of the time and had to take a lot of Klonopin in order to survive my day. Now that I am taking Zoloft I am feeling much more mellow and content and don't feel like I need Klonopin all the time. What I don't understand is what is the difference between the Zoloft and the Wellbutrin? I was told by my psychiatrist that they were both used for people who had anxiety and depression. My other question is, is 100 mg of Zoloft a lot to be taking or is it a very small dose? I was taking up to 400 mg of Wellbutrin at one time so this seems like very little medication. I am also worried that it will also stop working and I will have to go back to taking a lot of Klonopin. Thanks for answering these questions. Penelope Dear Penelope, Both Zoloft and Wellbutrin are anti-depressants that are commonly prescribed. While both medications interact with the central nervous system, they are chemically different and work in different ways. Generally speaking, Wellbutrin has less side effects for most people but may not be as effective as Zoloft. Your psychiatrist prescribed Zoloft only after finding the Wellbutrin to be less effective. It is not uncommon for this to occur in the treatment of depression. The therapeutic adult dosage for Wellbutrin is between 200 and 400 mgs. for most people. The therapeutic adult dosage for Zoloft is between 50 and 200mgs. Your psychiatrist is trying to find the smallest dosage that will relieve your symptoms. As your current dosage of 100mgs a day seems to be enough to work effectively, your psychiatrist is likely to keep you on this dosage and perhaps even reduce it. If your symptoms return, there is the option of raising this dosage. Lastly Penelope, I would strongly urge you to report any side effect that you may experience while taking Zoloft. Most often, side effects either go away or lessen over time but your psychiatrist should always be informed of any symptoms that could be caused by the Zoloft. I hope this medication continues to work well for you Penelope. Please feel free to write again. happy(whentherightmedicationisprescribedfortherightperson)shrink
Date: March 2, 2003
Dear Happyshrink, I have recently been fighting anxiety & panic. I started taking BuSpar and it seems to be helping. However, I have noticed an increase in the number of irregular heartbeats (premature beats & pauses.) Is this a known side effect with this med or is it more the anxiety? BI Dear BI, It could be a reaction to the BuSpar and it could also be a continuing symptom of your anxiety and panic. You need to inform your psychiatrist as well as your family physician so that it can be checked out. Don't delay on this BI. Irregular heartbeats are not to be taken lightly. Good luck and let me know what happens. happy(nottobetakenlightly)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, I have an eighteen year old daughter who since fifth grade has been pulling her hair out in three different places on her head. One doctor told us it was a rare form of OCD, but did not elaborate. Is there treatment for this or some type of medication for it. We tell her when we see her hands near her head to put her hands down, but we can't be with her all the time. Her friends are even reminding her. She is a beautiful girl and it is very saddening to us to see her losing her hair. Her Mom Dear Mom, The specific name for this type of obsessive compulsive disorder is trichotillomania. I would suggest you have her evaluated by a psychiatrist. There are medications that may be able to reduce this behavior but she needs to be accurately diagnosed and in proper treatment. Get your daughter the help she needs now so she can live her life with good self-esteem as well as a full head of hair. Good luck and let me know how you make out. happy(hasn'thadafullheadofhairinover30years)shrink
Dear Happy Shrink- I have this little dilemma... every time I have a Mania episode my Crohn's Disease acts up uncontrollably. The only thing I have found that works is a little marijuana used to relax my belly and mind to get a grip. I am concerned with the affect this may have with the Lithium Carbonate and Paxil I am required to take. I just want to be able to live my life and raise my kids as simply as possible. Please advise. j Dear j, Taking marijuana is not a long term answer for this problem and it could complicate your bipolar symptoms. Crohn's Disease is a very serious condition that needs constant treatment and monitoring by a physician. Lithium Carbonate may be a contributing factor a number of ways. It has a lot of interactions with other medications (even over-the-counter ones) and it can also have a long term side effect on your digestive system. You might want to ask your psychiatrist (I hope and pray you are under the care of one for bipolar disorder) about Depakote as an alternative to Lithium. There are a number of interactions and side effects with Depakote as well. This may not be the medication of choice for treating your bipolar disorder based on your medical condition but it is worth asking about. Please let me know what your physician and psychiatrist suggest in treating both your Crohn's Disease and bipolar disorder. happy(youcan'ttreatonewithouttheother)shrink
HI HAPPYSHRINK, NEED HELP I HAVE SEARCHED FOR AN ANSWER ALL OVER THE WEB. I HAVE TO TAKE a lot OF DRUG TEST BEFORE JUNE IN ORDER TO GET MY LIFE BACK. I WENT TO A CENTER FOR A PSYCHO REVIEW. THEY IN TURN MISCONSTRUED EVERYTHING I SAID AND EVEN ADDED TO IT AND LOST MY FIRST DRUG TEST IT IS A VERY BAD SITUATION. WELL ANYWAY I NEED TO KNOW IF NEURONTIN WILL SHOW UP IN A FIVE PANEL DRUG TEST. I TAKE IT BECAUSE I OVERDOSED ON XANAX AND AT THE HOSPITAL THEY PUT A BLOOD PRESSURE CUFF ON MY RIGHT ARM WHICH HAS POOR BLOOD CIRCULATION AND NOW I HAVE SEVERE PAIN AND NUMBNESS IN MY FINGERS AND ARM. THEY OF COURSE WILL TAKE IT ALL OUT OF PROPORTION AND THINK OTHERWISE I TAKE TWO HUNDRED MG THREE TIMES A DAY WILL THIS SHOW UP THEY WANT TO KNOW IF I HAVE A DRUG ABUSE PROBLEM WHICH I DON'T I MADE A LAPSE OF JUDGMENT TRYING TO CALM DOWN AND JUST TOOK TOO MANY IF I WANTED TO DIE I WOULD HAVE TAKEN ALL THAT I HAD OVER SIX HUNDRED MG I TOOK IN A COURSE OF THE DAY ABOUT TEN MG. CAN YOU PLEASE EASE MY MIND AND LET ME KNOW? THANK YOU SC Dear SC, Tens of millions of people in the United States take some type of psychoactive medication as prescribed by a physician. When taking a drug test you need to bring a doctor's note that states the medications you are on. Substance abuse occurs when you take medication that is not prescribed by your physician or if you take more of the medication than is prescribed. As long as the drugs that show up in your testing are drugs that you are taking under a doctor's order, you shouldn't have anything to worry about. From the tone and not the content of your letter, it sounds to me like substance abuse may have been a problem in the past for you. If this is true, I would suggest a support group. That's a lot more effective than searching the web for answers to questions you may already know. Good luck SC and please write me again if you wish. happy(stillhasmorequestionsthananswers)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, I have a friend who just had a baby 1 month ago. She named him Brennan, but she wasn't happy with that name because she thought it sounded like her other sons name Brandon and her mother in law Brenda. So she changed the name to Collin for a day, but wasn't happy with that either. After she called vital statistics to change the name to Collin she pretty much just broke down-crying, not coming out of her bedroom and not helping with the baby. Since then she called vital statistics and removed Collin from the birth certificate and left it as unnamed. She will eventually have to attach an affidavit to the birth certificate with a name she chooses. The problem is this baby is one month old and has no name.... She doesn't see a solution and is still very depressed. She is taking Zoloft and something else I am not sure of but it isn't helping her make a decision. She is not happy with ANY name. Have you ever heard of anyone else going through something like this. Do you have any suggestion????? Thank you. Stacey Dear Stacey, Your friend is probably suffering from a form of postpartum depression. Zoloft is a common medication use to treat this condition. Hopefully over the next month or two, your friend's symptoms will lessen and perhaps even disappear. I don't think a month or two without a name will hurt the baby's development. I know that when my son an infant we probably referred to him as "cutie-patootie" more than we called him by his proper name during the first six months of his life. He's 21 now and has not even once referred to himself as "cutie-patootie." Just be supportive and patient with your friend and things will work out for both she and "what's his name." Let me know how things work out. happy(andstillacutiepatootieinhisownright)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, What is the difference between the esoteric MIND and the physical brain, and how does the MIND work? Thanks mr Dear mr, The physical brain is divided into several parts and carry out a variety of different functions including respiration, sensation and thought. Thought is what commonly referred to as the mind. The esoteric MIND is a secret kept by psychotherapists so people like you will pay us money to listen to your problems. happy(thatwillbe$125please)shrink
Date: March 1, 2003
Hello happyshrink, My husband was prescribed Seroquel today from his doctor. He ask the doctor for something to help him sleep and the doctor prescribed this medication. It seems to be prescribed mainly for schizophrenia. My husband does not have this. Why would the doctor prescribe this for sleep? Thank you MB Dear MB, Seroquel is used to treat schizophrenia, but it can also be used to treat sleep disorders that are accompanied by anxiety. I have some misgivings about your doctor prescribing such medication but only because he is not a psychiatrist. If your husband is in need of this kind of medication he should be evaluated by a psychiatrist to confirm that his sleep problems are anxiety based and that this medication is the proper one for him. I would strongly suggest you get a second opinion by a psychiatrist MB. Let me know what he/she says. happy(sleeplessinNewJersey)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, My ex and his wife moved to Washington state as promised. We haven't received any child support since the first week of last August, and there does not seem to be any coming on the horizon. I feel like I am suddenly raising these kids by myself, which of course I've been doing all along, even when I was married. So why does this panic me NOW? I've been divorced or separated almost as long as I was married! Sincerely, Judi(HelpI'mDrowning)blueye Dear Judiblueye, A lot has been going on in your life in the last year including health problems. It would be surprising if you didn't feel overwhelmed. Despite these feelings, you are functioning at work, being a good mom to your kids, and dealing with your health issues. The quote of the day really does apply to you Judi. I can't tell you that the feelings of being overwhelmed will go away in the near future because your plate is very full. I can only say that you are a lot strong than you give yourself credit for. Down the road (can't say how far down) things will ease up and you will appreciate your accomplishments. Until then, continue to write and share your feelings. happy(knowswhatatoughladyJudiis)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, My sister-in-law began taking Zoloft for depression about 2 or 3 weeks ago and has developed rashes under her arms and the insides of her thighs. It is itchy but not extremely uncomfortable, as far as I can gather. She is just worried that this may be a sign that the drug is not working correctly for her? Too early to tell if it has kicked in emotionally. Should she continue taking it despite the rash or is that a sure sign to discontinue use? (her Doctor is not offering up any advice until their appointment three weeks from now!!). Thank you, James Dear James, Your sister-in-law needs to call her doctor and insist that he/she speak with her about this side-effect. Skin rash is one of the side effects that should be reported immediately. If this doctor refuses to respond, then I would see another doctor asap, preferably a psychiatrist. I am not in a position to tell your sister to stop or to continue to take this medication, but she should see someone qualified to do so given her symptoms and side effects. Urge your sister-in-law to act quickly. Let me know what happens. happy(asap)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, I'm looking to find the right kind of mental health care provider. There seems to be a lot of choices and I don't know what's right for me. In my brief discussion (less than 5 mins) with my General Practitioner he suggested a clinical social worker. I'm reluctant to go that route because I suspect I might need medication and I don't believe that is something a social worker can do. The problems that I seem to be having I think are related to depression and anxiety. There may be some issues with ADD too, but I'm not sure. Thinking back these problems have been around for a long time, but I never thought I had a problem. My symptoms seem to be that I have a basic feeling of emptiness - like I don't have a plan/direction in life. I easily get distracted with these feelings especially when I need to concentrate of my job or academic type work. It would take too much time to untangle all of the things in my head so I hope this was enough to give you a picture of what is going on. Basically I'm concerned about what this is doing to me, and how it may or may not be causing me problems in my social life, relationships, career and general health. Back to the question - My choice of care givers is social worker, psychiatry, psychology, and mental health counselor. What do you think is right for me? Where do you think I should start? Are there other choices that would be better for me? John Dear John, I might start by being evaluated by a psychiatrist who may then recommend a treatment plan for you. This may include medication and/or psychotherapy. Good psychotherapists can have degrees in social work, psychology, nursing and counseling. The right person and not the right discipline is what you need to consider. Many people who are on medication under the care of a psychiatrist also see a therapist from one of the above disciplines. Get yourself evaluated first before you consider these options. Let me know what the psychiatrist recommends. happy(acaregiverwhocares)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, We have no real proof, but be afraid, very afraid!
Wrap your house in plastic and duct tape, but go about your normal life.
Did I mention you should be afraid so you'll agree with practically
anything they say, even if they have no proof. Sure most
of our intelligence is based on a college students term paper and they
kind of screwed up when they announced they had a tape of Osama
even before Osama himself. JeWitch Dear JeWitch, I, like you wish that someone would begin dealing with our economy and how prices are soaring higher and higher. Do you have any idea how much I paid for a half dozen cases of duct tape? It's almost as criminal as that Osama guy. happy(notusingvideoeitherso...howdoyouknowit'sme?)shrink
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