Letters January 1 -31, 2003

Why do psychologists try to make you angry - also, when you ask them a question of sorts, why do they respond by asking you instead "why do you ask", or " why do you want to know."

While it is not the intent of psychotherapists to try and make you angry, the process of psychotherapy is a frustrating one as is the relationship between you and your therapist. You are expected to share your most intimate thoughts, feelings and life experiences while the therapist shares little or no information about themselves. That could make anyone angry.

There is a natural curiosity that patients have toward their therapist. This is part of a dynamic know as "transference." Whenever someone might ask their therapist a personal question, the "why do you ask?" response is very common. The purpose of this response is not to frustrate you but to really examine the issue of transference and your feelings toward the therapist.

There is one last aspect of the psychotherapy process that can make you angry. Therapists don't have the answers to your problems. The answers are all inside of you and a good therapist is there to help you figure them out. Life's problems don't have easy answers for most part M. Try to be patient and look inside yourself to get the answers you need. Good luck and apologies for the long delay.

Happy,

I'm a new father at the age of 20, the mother is 17 and I cant seem to get along with her about anything. We were only together for a few months when she got pregnant. They do not want me around but do want child support. I asked them for a DNA test when he was born and they said that I was denying him, and said they didn't need me anyway to just stay away. I believe he is my child but their is doubt. Am I denying him? Are they right?

Dear J,

I don't know you or your situation well enough to tell you if you are in denial. If you have real doubts about being the father, I would suggest you consult with an attorney regarding the issue of DNA testing. Other than that I can only give you one piece of advice. Learn from your mistakes.

happy(tryingtolearnfromhismistakes)shrink

Are body Mutilation issues always related to Sexual Abuse in infancy? About females with deep inferiority complexes ,and very verbally offensive vocabulary as well as very aggressive and careless behavior?

Distorting phrase meaning into others or taking words out of them and making new meanings; saying something then saying the other person said it; lack of memory between 0 and 7,or unclear highly.

Clues to inferiority complex pattern: Anger ,aggressive behavior ,one sided arguments .

How about other conditions :what is or are the names of inferiority related condition where people are prescribed uppers instead of downers, contributing to clearer memory ,and sharper responses with constructive effect as a result. thank you,

Not all self mutilation is related to the symptoms and behaviors you described. In some cases of autism as well as severe and profound mental retardation, self mutilation may occur without physical and/or sexual abuse. In some severe cases of psychosis, there could also be self mutilating behaviors without a history of physical and/or sexual abuse.

One who has experienced physical and/or sexual abuse at any age will often suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) a condition that have some of the symptoms you described including low self esteem, anger outbursts and mistrust that can lead to misinterpretation of various communications.

When physical and/or sexual abuse occurs in youth, there can also develop a condition known as Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). BPD may include self mutilation as one of it's symptoms. Among other symptoms common to BPD are self destructive or dangerous behaviors, dysfunctional relationships and dependency on others.

Both PTSD and BPD can also exhibit symptoms of anxiety and/or depression. Various medications can be prescribed to reduce these symptoms but it is also important for someone suffering from these conditions seek therapy as well. I hope I answered your question.

The following is a joke sent in by one of the demented readers of the ask happyshrink web site:

A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wrapped only in cling wrap. The psychiatrist takes one look at the man and say's "I can clearly see your nuts from here"

Hi Everybody! I'm back. I would first like to thank everyone who sent their good wishes and greetings. I especially want to thank St. Theresa for setting up the "get well guest book" so that many of you had the opportunity to write to me. Wind would print out the postings and read them to me when I was in the hospital. It raised my spirits and JeWitch and Judiblueye made me laugh. This was as important as any medication or treatment I received.

While Wind kept a positive attitude from the beginning and conveyed that in her postings, I really was gravely ill. After a month in the hospital, 3 surgeries and almost three weeks at home (going for physical therapy and seeing about half a dozen different doctors.) I'm just about ready to do my web page again. I will be answering letters on weekends and I will try to catch up as quickly as possible. Thank you all again for your kind thoughts and prayers.

My question is this. I have what is a 'non serious heart problem that causes my heart to get off beat. When it does it makes me nervous and my Doctor says that a low dose of Celexa may be helpful and I wondered if you would agree there is nothing better.

There are many drugs that might help you lower your anxiety. I am not a medical doctor but I would guess that your doctor has chosen Celexa based on it's lack of interaction with other medications that you are taking for your heart problem. It is a very effective and widely used medication and I would certainly try it and report to your doctor how well it is working. If it does not give you the relief that you desire, I am sure your doctor can prescribe other medications. Sorry for the 2 month delay in answering your letter.

Today my question is more serious... I wrote about my "hotty" psychitrist... I am bipolar I with mixed episodes. over the course of the past few years, we have tried every medication combination know to man. I can't take most meds, because I have multiple chemical sensitivities-- a stem of my fibromyalgia.

Lately, things have been horrible. I am either a monster, crying all the time, isolating-- or sleeping. there is no plateau anymore, never. I rarely leave the house anymore... I guess this is from the depression.

I have heard about unilateral shock therapy-- which isn't supposed to be as bad as bilateral shock therapy.

I am desperate, really. Because of the fibromyalgia, my memory is quite poor-- but if this could stop many of my episodes... just put a break in the continuing cycling-- I think I am up for it..

If you were me... would you try it? I am so very tired of this-- all the pills-- the money ( I DON'T HAVE) used on the pills, the weight gain from the pills, and the pills not working so well--- right now i am on 4 mg of Klonopin, Zyprexa, Topamax and Inderal--- and I am still a beast...Any advice would be appreciated..

I can understand your feeling overwhelmed by the ups and downs that you are experiencing on a daily basis from your illness. It is important when you see your psychiatrist that you share these feelings with him so that he can get a sense of your patterns and cycles. While it may not feel good to have these cycles, it is important that you work with your psychiatrist in order to be able to help yourself more.

"Bilateral Shock Therapy" is rarely if ever used today. Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT) as it is implemented currently, involves only passing an electric current through one side of the brain. This has been shown to cause less damage and be quite effective during periods of depression. Patients undergoing ECT are given medication so they are not conscious during the procedure.

There are severe cases of Bipolar disorders that don't respond well to medication and ECT is in some cases a viable option. I would discuss this option with your psychiatrist so that both the benefits and risks can be explored. If your psychiatrist thinks you are a good candidate for ECT, it is something you should certainly consider. Please let me know what happens.

HAPPY IS HOME!! :) We busted him out of the hospital on New Year's Eve and then did our best to stay up until midnight. Please be patient a little while longer while Happy tries to regain enough strength to see how much damage I have done to the computer in his absence. He knows how many letters there are to answer and as soon as he is able to he will start answering them. Thank you again for your support, your good wishes and your patience. Hopefully, this will be the last note from me and the next time you "tune in" you'll get the REAL DEAL.

Postings from January 1-31, 2003