Postings from September 1-30, 2002

Date: September 29, 2002  

Dear Happyshrink,

 

Hi Happy.  

I'm 16 years old and I am an insomniac.  I have tried going to bed earlier and it doesn't work, I have tried all the tricks, and they don't work.  Is there anything I can do?  I am taking a very full course load at school and I need a lot more sleep.
Thank you, 

from Irma

Dear Irma,

Sleep difficulties are not uncommon, especially among teenagers. There could be both physical as well as psychological reasons for having sleep difficulties and both need to be checked out. The first thing I would do is get a complete physical exam to rule out a medical problem. You might also want to look into your eating habits and nutrition. That too can have an effect on your sleep patterns. A nutritionist might be able to suggest a diet regimen that will help you to sleep better.

The last thing I would look into Irma is your emotional state and if there could be psychological reasons for your sleep problems. Your letter mentioned that you are taking a very full course load at school. The demands of that and perhaps the pressure to do well may be creating anxiety. Among the symptoms of anxiety is difficulty with sleep. Seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist specializing in adolescents may be a way to explore this possibility. I would urge you to follow up on all three issues that I suggested. 

I don't know if there are other stressful things going on in your life now or in the past that may be causing your sleep problems. If you would like to tell me more about what is going on with you, I'll be happy to listen. Let me know what happens.

happy(nothinglikeagoodnight'ssleep)shrink

 

Hi Happy,

I know you must be wondering "why hasn't JeWitch been writing me lately?" I have been VERY VERY busy. Seems that Bubba is out of jail again and trying to interfere with Edna and her new boyfriend, What's-His-Name. I want to do something .. but what can I do?? Thought about a prayer .. but .. well .. You know I am not exactly one to ask "HIM/HER" for anything. I wrote one for Edna to say .. and am sending you a copy. Maybe you have some readers that can say this prayer at bedtime or dinner or whenever people pray. Frankly, I don't know when people pray .. or why ?? Any way .. here it is.

Dear Jesus of Nazareth,

I know you receive a lot of requests from Christians all over the world. I know that some of those requests are really important--like businessmen praying to you wanting their companies to go multi-national and football teams wanting to win their games and celebrities like Howard Stern wanting to be "King of All Media Again."

I understand you have your priorities--really I do. It’s just that, Jesus, I’ve been a good Christian all my life. I’ve always donated old clothes and canned goods to the poor and other people who are too stupid to make it in life. I’ve always helped with Bible School every summer even if those snot-nose little urchins drove me crazy and I’ve always bought my cards and books at the Holier Than Thou Christian Bookstore. I’ve done everything by the book--the Good Book, that is, and frankly, Jesus, you owe me. I’ve just got this one little request and then I swear, I’ll never ask for another single thing. I know you’re aware of this situation down here. Do me this one favor, Jesus--just take Bubba out. I mean, what’s a stray lightning bolt to you anyway--you’d never miss it. We’d all be a lot happier if he were pushing up daisies. You think it over in between promoting Coca-cola and pulling for the Yankees and helping out Howard (Imus) Stern. So how about it Jesus, are you going to be my savior or is that just a bunch of hype ?

Your Devout Follower (and a Very Worthy One at that),

Edna Hoppenstetter.

Maybe you can write a letter too.

JeWitch

Dear JeWitch,

I will say a prayer to Yaweh for both Edna and you:

Dear Yaweh,

Forgive them for they know not what they do.

happyshrink

I hope that helps but somehow I don't think it will.

happy(prayingformoreraintoo)shrink

 

Date: September 28, 2002  

Dear Happy Shrink,

So since you have 20 years experience in social work; I thought you would know the answer to my question. Can anyone get my medical records through the Internet? I am concerned. Please try not to laugh at my ignorance about computers and the net; I'm new at this.

Thanks and Concerned,

Nick

Dear Nick,

Any medical records from Clinics and Hospitals that are on computers must pass the rigors of very strict security guidelines by the Joint Commission of Accredited Healthcare Organizations (JCAHO). The technology of encryption and server protection has improved greatly over the last few years and will continue to improve. However, there are some very good hackers out there that still manage to get into secured files illegally. The penalties for getting caught hacking into private servers have become more severe and the instances of successful hacking is definitely down. 

Generally speaking, I think there is little to worry about as far as someone obtaining your medical records illegally but you can never say never. I hope this is helpful.

happy(wouldrathermindhisownbusiness)shrink

 

Dear Happyshrink,

Would you summarize the available research on Lexapro? Common name for the new anti-depression drug.

JLW

Dear JLW,

From my readings I can tell you that Lexapro is a new Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI) that is similar in chemical structure to another SSRI called Celexa. These drugs are antidepressants that also aid in the reduction of anxiety. Clinical trials have shown that 10mg per day of Lexapro has about the same effect as 40mg per day of Celexa. As a result, the incidence of side effects are reduced with the drug Lexapro.

I just want to add that everyone reacts differently to psychoactive medications and someone's individual experience as far as efficacy and side effects may vary. I would strongly recommend that anyone taking Lexapro or any other SSRI be under the care of a psychiatrist. While family physicians will commonly prescribe these medications, they may not always be well versed in their use. That's my opinion and others may disagree. The choice is yours.

happy(ifIhadtochooseIwouldchooseapsychiatrist)shrink

 

Dear Happyshrink,

After wandering around in a sort of semi-high state all weekend, I bought myself a glucose monitor and found out that my sugars were running in the vicinity of 300. So much for that cheap thrills phenomena. The short version of the story is that I now have to start giving myself insulin injections. Here's some sage advice from the friendly folks at the local pharmacy, printed up with my vials of 70/30 human type insulin, "If loss of consciousness occurs, seek medical assistance immediately." Hello? did I miss something somewhere? I don't spend a lot of time truly unconscious without being prepped for surgery, but as I recall, the last time I was unconscious the only thing I sought was a horizontal position. Who wrote this? I hope it wasn't the same person who I am trusting to dish out my drugs!!!

Sincerely,

Judi(downto186andstillconscious)blueye

Dear Judi,

Please be advised that the horizontal position has other benefits beside losing consciousness. Maybe when you get healthy, you will be able to enjoy those benefits again. Another good piece of advice: If you lose consciousness, remain calm and do not panic.

happy(notdispensinganymedicationtoJudi)shrink

 

Date: September 25, 2002  

Dear Happyshrink,

My son has been on Celexa for depression for about 1 year his mood swings are abnormal could this be a side effect of the medicine? When nothing seems to be working what do you do??

T

Dear T,

Celexa is a SSRI that is used to treat depression and compared to other Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors, has less side effects. It is possible though that a psycho-active medication can cause mood swings. It is also possible that mood swings can be a part of your son's condition. I would speak to his psychiatrist about it and if you feel the need, you might want to get a second opinion. 

As far as answering your second question, when nothing seems to be working what do you do, my answer is, try something else. If you want to go into more detail about what is not going right, I'll be happy to listen.

happy(goodlistener)shrink

 

 

 

Date: September 22, 2002  

Dear Mary,

Any time you want to stop taking a psycho-active medication, you should consult with a physician and most preferably a psychiatrist. Withdrawal symptoms of any psycho-active medication will vary from person to person so it must be closely monitored. I would strongly suggest you see a psychiatrist in order to get off of Effexor. In addition to slowly weaning you off of this medication, the psychiatrist may also prescribe a medication that can counteract the withdrawal symptoms and have less side effects. Eventually you could be weaned off of that medication as well. 

There is another question that needs to be answered and since you didn't ask it Mary, I will. Can you be completely off of psycho-active medication without having the original symptoms that brought about your taking Effexor in the first place? I don't know that answer and that is something that needs to be looked at by you and a psychiatrist. If you still need to be on a psychoactive drug, the psychiatrist can explore with you the options and issues regarding its long term use. That's what I would do if I were you Mary. Please let me know what you thing and also update me on your progress.

happy(exploringalloptions)shrink

 

Dear Happyshrink

I need some advice on how our family can confront one of our sisters about a problem she seems to have. After years of listening to her obsess over health issues, we see her "declining health" and can't help but think it is not really happening. She has been to countless doctors who say nothing is wrong with her. But she keeps going to different doctors, and draining her bank account. She has resorted to seeing some pretty wacko sounding doctors (okay, quacks). 

It seems like she WANTS to be sick. Once I saw her talking and laughing and she looked just fine. Someone walked up and asked her how her poor health was. She put on her pitiful face, lifted up her hands and made them start shaking vigorously. Then she said she was just terrible. She takes over 30 different kinds of herbs a day, and who knows which prescriptions. She just keeps getting worse. We are starting to wonder if she has some sort of health anxiety (it sounds too negative to say hypochondriac).

We could just let her keep this up, but frankly, she can't afford it, and neither can the people who are giving her money. Is there a chemical reason that makes a person a hypochondriac (or whatever the appropriate term would be) or is it just something she needs to get over with therapy? Now here's the biggie -- how can we suggest to her that she needs to see a psychiatrist? Won't she just deny it and keep going to doctor after doctor? We don't know what to do. Any help would be appreciated!

Thanks, 

B

Dear B,

Your sister may be suffering from a number of different disorders whose symptoms may include hypochondriacally related anxiety. She would need to be seen by a psychiatrist and evaluated for treatment. Obviously, she must agree to see a psychiatrist and that is a choice that she must make unless she is mentally incompetent to do so. That would be hard for you and your family to prove and you would have to consult with an attorney specializing in such legal actions. From what little information you have given me, there doesn't seem to be a compelling reason for the courts to deem her incompetent even though her behaviors appear to be unhealthy and self-destructive in the long run.

I would suggest that as many members of your family get together with her and do what is often called "an intervention." Interventions are most commonly done to confront alcoholics and substance abusers. But it can also be used when a family member is in denial of mental illness. During this intervention, it needs to be made clear to her that her loved ones will no longer fund her medical ventures and will only support her seeking psychiatric help. All the family members must be united in this effort and follow through on this intervention. If there are friends or family members that continue to support illness fantasies, this strategy isn't likely to be successful. If everyone agrees beforehand to support this position, it has a chance of working. Then it's up to her B. Just like in the case of alcoholics and substance abusers, some will get it while others won't. I hope your sister gets it. Please let me know what you think and update me on her progress.

happy(therearepowerfargreaterthanI)shrink

 

Happy,

I called my mother, Edna Hoppenstetter, and told her I was going to get married this Saturday. She asked me if he was rich and I said no. She asked me if he was good-looking and I said no. She asked me if he was smart and I said no. She asked me if he was any good in the sack and I said I didn’t know on account that we have never done it. I told her me we had been dating since March and I ain’t been with no other man so’s I been without sex all that time. She asked me then was I sure that I was her daughter, Lucy Gail Hoppenstetter of Bithlo, Florida. I told her I was pretty sure I was.

I told her all about him. I told her that he looked like Elmer Fudd and that he can’t drink milk becuz it gives him gas and that his mother was trying to kill me. She said if I was getting married for the first time, he didn’t sound like that great of a catch but since I’m on my third husbund, he sounded like he would do.

Mom's been married AT LEAST nine times. In fact she married an entire baseball team. She started with the pitcher and then worked her way around the bases and into the outfield. She ended with the catcher. I got a half-brother who’s the son of a shortstop and a half-sister who’s the daughter of a left fielder. My dad was either a first basemen or a second baseman. Mother always said, you can be many things in life but unless your a team player, you ain’t shit.

Lucy Gail Hoppenstetter.

Dear Lucy Gail,

I always wondered why I liked your mom so much and now I know why. We both love BASEBALL.

happy(GOYANKEES!)shrink 

 

Date: September 21, 2002  

 

Hello,

I believe that I may have a panic disorder. I am a 21 year old female. I have always worried more than usual throughout my life about small things, but I have never had an anxiety "attack" that I know of. Suddenly this week for no particular reason, I am getting very upset over small things. My mind is racing, I can't sleep, I am nauseous, and I am having stomach pains. I can't pinpoint why I am having these feelings but whenever the moment strikes me I begin to cry hysterically. I break into a sweat and feel as though I am going to be sick for no reason at all. My stomach starts cramping and I try to figure out what I am upset about so that it will pass. I have never been to a psychologist before, but I can tell you that something is definitely wrong. 

For as long as I can remember I have been anything but carefree. I am constantly worrying about friends, family, work, relationships, school, etc. I don't know if I should talk to someone and possibly go on medication, or if there are some exercises I can do to relax? At this point I will do anything because I feel as though I am going out of my crazy.

Thank you for your time. I look forward to your response.

KO

Dear KO, 

Your symptoms may indicate an anxiety disorder. I would suggest you see a psychiatrist so you can be evaluated. Treatment could involve taking medication and may also involve being in therapy. You are not going crazy but you are suffering needlessly if you don't get the help you need. Please make an appointment to see a psychiatrist. Your family doctor may be able to give you a referral or perhaps a close friend or family member may know someone. If you are working, your company may have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) that can make a referral, and if you are still in school, there may be counseling available through Student Personal Services. Get the help need now KO. Please let me know how things work out.

happy(lookingforwardtoyourresponsetoo)shrink

 

Happyshrink,

Yesterday at 10:00 p.m., my son's live-in girlfriend Marsha gave birth to a seven pound, six ounce baby boy. He has the characteristic Hoppenstetter weak chin and lackluster, slack expression on his face. Even when he cries, he only does it half-assed because crying takes too much effort. He is a chip off the 'old block' I am sure. Andie (not to be confused with Andy) was so excited about the birth of his son that he left the Dewdrop Inn bar and met Marsha at the hospital when her contractions were only ten minutes apart. After he found out that she would be in labor for several hours, he went back to the bar for a some more glasses of beer before the baby was actually born. (He saw no reason to just sit in the hospital all bored and everything while Marsha was just lying there making all those annoying groaning sounds.)

After the baby was born, Andie went back to the Dewdrop Inn and bought a pack of cigarettes. Then he painstakingly wrote "It were a Boy" on each cigarette with a fine point marker and he handed out the cigarettes. Then he drank some more beer. At 2 a.m. this morning, when Ronnie Duckweed was walking home from the bar, he was both very drunk and very proud. He passed out on the couch

This morning he told me about a dream he had about how he and his son would bond in the years to come. He dreamt of teaching him how to light a cigarette, how to cut class, how to do shots of tequila and how to hot-wire a car. It made him smile in his sleep. And he said, "I'm really, really glad that I knocked-up my girlfriend."

Edna

Dear Edna,

Andie sounds like he is really proud of himself and I have never heard of him having this much self-esteem. I am amazed that he was able to tear himself away from the Dew Drop Inn even if it was only for a few moments to be with his girlfriend and his infant son. It looks like Andie is finally developing some maturity. Maybe this is an ideal time for you to have a talk with him and urge him to stay in Junior High School. A mind is a terrible thing to waste; even a Hoppenstetter mind.

happy(maybeIshouldmindmyownbusiness)shrink

 

Date: September 18, 2002  

 

Dear Happyshrink,

Doctor Peabody says I should view suddenly losing all of my coping mechanisms (eating, drinking, smoking, shopping etc.) at the same time should be viewed as an opportunity to learn healthier coping mechanisms. All well and good, but what comes to mind is whacking him with a large smelly fish, and then downing a pint of Cherry Garcia while smoking and driving to the mall, followed by a stop at Chesley's for a nice long island iced tea. I feel like a centipede waiting for the next shoe to drop (and the next and the next and the next and the next...) Help!

Judiblueye

Dear Judi,

Every adversity comes with opportunity. You certainly have had more than your share of adversities, but you also have some real opportunities. Put away that smelly fish. Let Jerry Garcia (who had loads of medical problems) rest in peace. Save your money and your lungs by not smoking cigarettes and have a diet Nestea instead of that Long Island one. 

There are things that you can't control in your life Judi, but control the ones you can and you may be surprised that less shoes will be dropping. 

happy(drinkinganicecupofherbaltea)shrink

 

Hello Happy from Military School.

As usual, I’ve been very busy. I am working in the kitchen here. I scrape the trays, mop the floors and change the expiration dates on the food containers. Last week we held our annual Autumn Pageant. Several were chosen as the oak trees. A couple were selected to be the pumpkins and I was lucky enough to be cast as a basket of apples. Things went pretty good in rehearsal but on performance night, one of the oak trees called another oak tree a fag and a fight broke out. Then the pumpkins got involved. It was pretty ugly--there was blood and leaves and bits of orange chiffon everywhere.

As a result, they said we might not be putting on the Christmas Pageant this year. That really pisses me off too because I had my heart set on playing the Virgin Mary.

Andy

Dear Andy,

That's really a bummer. Playing a virgin would be a great challenge for anyone in your family over 11 years of age. When I was your age and they local church was having a Christmas Pageant, I wanted to play one of those wise guys. But my parents wouldn't let me because I was Jewish. Life is full of disappointments like that Andy, but that's what builds character. 

happy(asaspinningdreidel)shrink

 

Date: September 15, 2002  

Ok Dude,

You are bored? You need something to think about? Well, you can dwell on my problem here, for a bit, and see if YOU can help me come up with a solution. K?

Here goes:

Ok, first off, my daughter and I had to move out of this mobile home and away from where we were, cuz the people we were renting from are wacko, and we were lucky to get out with our lives, after threats too. My problems are compounded. I had to put my cats 6 now, in someone else's care, now she has to move by the 17 of this month, and is pressuring me to take the cats back. If I bring one cat here, I will be evicted, and we cannot afford to be homeless, (again).

I have no idea how to handle this situation, and I love my cats, I was trying to find a place that I could take them back, but that will not happen in time. This lady is going to have a fit when I cannot take them back, and I really did want them back. I have tried every humane society, etc. and do not have the money to board them. Lots of sleep lost over this one!

Problem #2

My daughter and I are living with the bare minimum of necessities I was able to pull out of the storage bin where we escaped from. I am not able to go over there unless someone is with me, am paying storage by the month, and have no place to keep the contents here at this place, and no way to rent another place while I am paying storage there, or a way to move it. I don't even know if anyone has even broken into it or not, as I cannot go over there. I am going into the hospital in 2 weeks for a hysterectomy, and will be out of commission for a bit. Laying around trying to find solutions to these problems, is not my idea of fun. If you have any input about what I just wrote, please be sure to pass any and all hints of brilliance on to me. K? That about covers it, for now, unless I think of something else. And how is your life going?!

Thanks for lending the ear.

Sincerely,

G

Dear G,

Both of your problems are challenging to say the least. There isn't an easy solution for either of them. As much of you love your cats, you are not capable of caring for them and you probably need to let the person caring for them know about it. I realize the only option for you may be having them taken by a government agency that may euthanize them. You don't really have any other choices. You and your daughter are the priority here and even though it may hurt, you may not be able to save the cats.

As far as your second problem is concerned, you need to look into social service agencies in your area that help families in need. Some of them may offer a one time stipend that could enable you to move to a better place and get your stuff out of storage. Other agencies may be able to find you low income housing that is affordable and safe. I don't know where you live and what kinds of community resources are available but that's the plan of action I would take. Most communities have a lot of different voluntary, not-for-profit programs. It may be a tedious task but I would look into every agency in your area to see it there are resources available.

Now the most difficult problem; Problem #3. I know you didn't ask me about Problem #3 but that's the most important problem of all: How are you going to get out of this mess you are in? The first thing you need to do is understand how you got into this mess in the first place. I am sure you may have been victimized by numerous bad people that have come into your life and the pattern may have started in childhood. But also along the way, you made a lot of poor decisions that continues to perpetuate a life of crisis and turmoil. A good case in point are your six cats. While perhaps there was a time when tending to the needs of those cats were more realistic than they are now, it doesn't sound like your life was ever that stable to take on the responsibility of six pets. Keep in mind that owning a pet also involves making sure that its safety, nutritional and medical needs are met. Even having just one cat would require you to be in a stable living situation with a steady and reliable income. My guess is that this has not been the case. I know that if I were talking to you now you might give me a lot of reasons why "It's not your fault." It's not a question of fault. It's a question of responsibility and you are responsible to make you and your daughter's lives healthier and more stable.

From the tone of your letter you sound pretty depressed and angry. I can certainly understand why you would have these feelings. But what are you going to do about it? I would urge you to see a counselor or therapist. There has to be community mental health clinics or family service agencies in your area that can provide your with someone who can help you develop a plan for changing your life. You need to do this not only for yourself but for your daughter as well. Do it now G. Next week may be too late. Please feel free to write me again.

happy(hopingitsnottoolate)shrink

 

After posting DL's letters I got two correspondences that I thought were relevant. Both had the same content and recommendations so I am only posting one of them. Thanks to both of you.

Dear Another woman with bipolar disorder,

Thanks for your letter and good advice to DL. I checked out the web page you sited and it is very interesting and informative. It's a good resource that I hope other people suffering from bipolar disorder will take advantage of it. I couldn't agree with you more that DL should look into a hospital or clinic that specializes in bipolar or mood disorders. Often people who are treated with these disorders may only see a medical doctor. Even in some small mental health clinics, knowledge of the psychopharmacology of treating bipolar disorders can be somewhat limited. Bipolar disorders are very complex and need special attention.

happy(alwaysneedsspecialattention)shrink

 

Well, Happy,

I really like this here gal I told you about but since I been seeing her, I’ ve noticed that I been getting me some bruises and what not on my body. Ruth is a real affectionate gal and she’s always slapping me on the back and the butt and the arms and on occasion, upside the head. But, I don’t want to hurt her feelings none by telling her that sometimes when she’s a-giving me these love pats, that it really does hurt like hell. In fact, she was so glad to see me the other day that I think she just about give me a concushun.

I hate to say nothing on account that she is such a sweet and generus gal. She even bought me a black leather outfit . She even went as far as to get me a matching black leather coozie for my can of Old Milwaukee. She says she really, really likes me and in fact, she’s got to calling me her little "Hayseed on a Chain".

I think I’ll keep on a-dating Ruth as long as she don’t dislocate nothing on me or draw any blood or what have you. I guess I can tolerate an occasional twisting pinch or getting spiked with one of her high heels or being slapped around if it means that she loves me and wants to spend her some time with me.

I guess when opportunity knocks, I better go for it--even if opportunity is knocking me in the head.

Clyde

Dear Clyde,

I wonder if you are keeping up on your health insurance payments. I suggest you do so. I also hope that opportunity just keeps knocking and doesn't start crushing.

happy(Ihaveanopportunitytogetoutofhere)shrink

 

Date: September 14, 2002  

Dear Happyshrink,

 

Hello Happyshrink,

I am having a problem for which I don't know which doctor can treat me so I am asking a question whom should Ii see to improve my health. I was good active person once but now it is totally different. I had a very disturbed family relation, my wife never cared for my feelings and thoughts and she always is to criticize my parents which hurt me a lot. But I use to manage with her in the same situation but now I left her in her parents place as she was very arrogant to my parents also. 

Now the problem is daily every time and every minute I think about her bad behavior only. I don't have any interest in any activities, my memory has become very bad and I talk only about family nothing else I don't remember any thing which i studied or saw any movie everything is just a half memory and it is really difficult to remember and the concentration was poor from beginning but now it has become very worse and some times if I think too much my head starts paining. 

It has affected my job also it takes long time to write a logic and if some one is explaining to me anything I try to concentrate but I can't and my mind is just wandering and I end up with half knowledge and I have to end up asking again and after few days I don't remember what has been told to me previously. Even in my married life my sexual health was very bad and 90% time I use to ejaculate before I involve in the activity or loose erection in the middle, hardly it was any time satisfactory.   

Due to the all above things I cannot mix up in the crowd and get involved in discussion or do any activity with concentration even though I am doing exercises now I am still thinking my wifes or my parents' behavior and that I am not able to stop. one doctors told it is depression but he gave me Wellbutrin tablets but it didn't help me much I haven't completed the course also everything half and I forget lot of things.

I just explained my whole behavior can you advise me. Even though I look healthy and have good sleep every time my mind is in bothering some thing or other.

Thanks
venkat

Dear venkat,

You do sound like you have depression but it may be more complicated and you may need more treatment than just being on an anti-depressant such as Wellbutrin. I would suggest you speak to a psychiatrist about all of your symptoms. I would also talk to him/her about the issues you are having with your wife. I believe that he/she might prescribe some medication for you as well as refer you to a psychotherapist. Its sounds to me like you have a lot of unresolved issues that are affecting your concentration and your overall state of mind. It is also possible that you and your wife may need some marriage counseling.

Get the help you need now venkat. Things will not get any better unless you work out all of your personal issues as well as marital conflicts. A psychiatrist is best suited to evaluate your situation and determine the best treatment modalities. Good luck venkat and let me know how things work out.

happy(withgoodtreatmentmodalities)shrink

 

Dear Happy,

I know it’s been some time since you herd from me. Baysicklly, tho, my life is still the same. I still work at Wal-Mart. I still go to The Dew Drop Inn here in Bithlo every weekend and I still date married men. I know a lot of women are jealous of me cuz I have it all--career, excitement and cheating husbands.

My most recent boyfriend is Leland. Leland unclogs drains and toilets for a living and is a member of one of them white suprimist groups. Leland is a real man--he likes to dress in camoflage and call people names. He shouts at people from his jeep and then drives away real fast. Leland says he always wanted to be in the army but he could never get in on account that his feet are too flat and he wets the bed.

Leland says he cheats on his wife cuz it helps him feel better about himself. He says that men need to have affairs cuz it makes them think clearer and makes them better leaders. He said, take President Clinton for example-- "getting some on the side" is just what sucksessful men do. Leland also says, it’s a concept that women just ain’t smart enough to understand--like math or car insurance.

Well, I better go. I got me a date with Leland tonite. After he tucks his kids into bed, he’s going to meet me at The Dew Drop Inn. He said he shood be on time unless his wife is feeling frisky and wants him to "put it to her". He said in that case, he wood be late, cuz he just can’t deny a woman (even if it’s his wife) the pleasure of his company.

Love,

Edna

Dear Edna,

White supremacy, bed wetting and infidelity....Sounds like you picked another winner. Who wouldn't be jealous of you Edna?  you sweet thang you! 

happy(don'tlethimknowI'mJewish)shrink

 

Date: September 11, 2002  

One year and one day ago, I did not post any letters to happyshrink. The events of September 11, 2001 made it seem somewhat irrelevant. It seems irrelevant today too as it might again one year from now. Here though is what I wrote on the day that followed 911:

Yesterday, every American as well as every person who cherishes liberty was traumatized by the events in New York and Washington. All of us are victims and it is important that we work through our grief, anger and fear. If you feel helpless and hopeless, don't wait for things to get better by themselves. Give blood. Talk to your kids. Talk to your friends and family. Donate food to food banks. Do what ever it takes to empower yourself and remember that good is more powerful than evil. 

If the Twenty-first Century is to be remembered by anything, let it be remembered like its' predecessor; as a time when our freedoms were challenged and our resolve as Americans of all races, faiths and creeds prevailed. 

--happyshrink

Let us always remember our pain and loss but also give thanks to how this tragic day brought us together and made us stronger.

 

Date: September 8, 2002  

 

Date: September 7, 2002  

Good Afternoon,

I am a 38 year old African American female. I experience chest pains, shortness of breath, hot and cold flashes, dizziness, elevated pulse rate, headache, fatigue, and other things. I have been to my regular physician, a cardiologist and a lung specialist and all my test are normal.

My doctor suggested a therapist. He says I have panic attacks. I take 100 mg of Zoloft and 300 mg of Wellbutrin a day. Should that have some effects if I have panic attacks? I am tired of the pain and I don't know what to do. My mother and boyfriend are convinced that I have Pulmonary Hypertension, but I have had all of the tests. What should I do next? Help please.

Thank you,

D

Dear D,

You did the right thing by getting a complete physical exam to rule out a medical problem. If you are still unsure about the results, it doesn't hurt to get a second opinion. The symptoms you have described though are also the same symptoms of panic attacks. Panic attacks are a type of anxiety disorder that can often be treated effectively with medication. Zoloft is an anti-depressant that is often prescribed for anxiety and Wellbutrin is another anti-depressant that works well in conjunction with Zoloft.

Whether or not these medications will reduce your symptoms is something you will have to wait and see. These medications may take some time to produce the results you are looking for. It would be helpful though to see a psychotherapist to examine what stressors in your present or past could be causing these panic attacks. 

I don't know if the medication that your are taking was prescribe by your regular physician or a psychiatrist. While family physicians do often prescribe such medications, I personally think that the condition you have described would best be treated by a psychiatrist. Your regular physician can probably make such a referral and I would encourage you to speak with him. Please continue to write and update me on your progress.

happy(whenpeoplegetthehelptheyneed)shrink

 

Dear Happy,

What is the meaning of life?

Franny

P.S-I am so bored it is physically painful. I'm not allowed to leave my house for reasons I am not supposed to talk about, although it begins with an "H" and ends with an "ouse arrest". Any ideas on creative ways to process my time?

P.P.S- I am (very) depressed and have been for a long (4 years) time. At times crippling (as in not getting out of bed for a week and telling Mom I am sick and missing lots of school). What should I do?

P.P.S- Is it healthy to mourn over a lost boyfriend for 5 months? When will I stop being heartbroken?

Dear Franny,

How about some easy question for a change? You think this is a piece of cake? I have already warned the children who visit my web site not to try this at home. Happyshrink is a professional and can answer these questions in a safe and responsible way. OK, OK.....here's my answer to your questions:

What is the meaning of life? You are the meaning of life. This is your life and only you can live it. The meaning it has is up to you. It can be happy and fulfilling; it can be decent and honorable, or it can be sad and pessimistic; it can be cynical and without values. But it's always about you, Franny. It's what you do that can make you happy or sad even under a (starts with an) h (and ends with a) ouse arrest) situation.

And what you can do with your time now is make plans for all the wonderful things you can experience when you are (starts with an) o (and ends with) n parole. I am not trying to minimize your depression Franny, but the only way you will get out of it is by living life and not retreating from it. Losing a boyfriend is hard to get over and it isn't unusual to be sad for a long time afterwards. Given the fact that you are depressed as well as angry, your sense of loss is magnified. 

There are other boys out there Franny. I know that (starts with an) h (and ends with a) ouse arrest) makes it tough to meet them right now. But even without (starts with an) h (and ends with a) ouse arrest), you have to be open to reaching out to people and seeing life as a wonder mystery to be experienced; not a problem to be solved.

So stop telling your mom you are sick and start your journey on the meaning of life. It's not easy Franny. Nothing worthwhile ever is. Think about it....please.

happy(closertothemeaningoflifeafterhavingacolonoscopy)shrink

 

Dear Happyshrink,

My computer keeps shutting itself down abruptly, and then when it comes back on, it chides me for not using the Shut Down button on the Start Menu. Do you know, is there anyway I can rig it so that this computer sends a similar chiding message to Bill Gates and his gang at Microsoft every time it shuts itself down?

Sincerely,

Judiblueye

Dear Judi,

If Bill Gates received all the complaints about how Windows shuts down by itself, he will probably come out with another OPERATING SYSTEM that costs about $200 to upgrade. Be careful what you wish for Judi. It might come true.

happy(withanythingbutWindowsXQ)shrink 

 

Date: September 4, 2002  

Happy

I have problem and don't know who to turn to. My best friend is being molested by her step-brother. She doesn't want him to get in trouble or mad at her. We're not sure if he know that she knows cause he does it at night while she's sleeping. It's getting worse and want to help.

p.s. He's done it while I was in the room before and at their grandmothers.

R.

Dear R,

The situation that you have described to me sounds very serious.  This can affect your friend for the rest of her life and it must stop immediately. If you are a good friend, then you must tell somebody; her grandmother, her mother, her father, one of her teachers in school, or another adult. I am not sure from the content of your letter what the "getting worse" means in terms of frequency or what your friend's step-brother is doing to her, but it's obvious that he's not going to stop unless someone stops him.  Your friend has already been seriously hurt by this abuse and you can prevent her from being hurt even more by telling an adult who will take action.  

I know that what I am telling you sounds like betraying the trust of your friend.  But more important than trust is protecting her from harm.  Be the best friend that you can be. Rescue her from this terrible situation.  Please write to me and let me know what happens.  If you wish, you can give me the email address of your friend's parents or even their home address and I will be happy to write them and let them know what you told me. I don't have to tell them your name if you wish to remain anonymous. 

(not)happy(aboutsexualabuse)shrink

 

Happyshrink,

I have met me someone. Now, unless you weren’t aware of it, for a fella like me, that is a major event. As you recall, since my ex-wife Edna left me for my best friend back in 1996, I have had me quite a dry spell in the women department. Well, now all that has changed becuz I’m dating again--her name is Ruth--but she prefers I call her "Ruthless".

She’s a tall gal, six foot something and she works out and has got her some bigger muscles then most men I’ve knowed. I met Ruthless last week in the Adult Toy Store where I am working. (oh yeah, I am working, forgot to tell you that also.) She was buying some bondage supplies and she took a shine to me right off. She liked how I waited on her hand and foot. She says she likes that in a man.

Anywho, Ruthless and me has got us a date this upcoming weekend. She wants me to come over to her place so she can show me her barb wire collection. She also collects metal clamps, dog collars and rubber hoses. She’s a real inneresting gal and I think me and her could have us a lot in common. She asked me if I’d ever dreamed about being covered in honey and getting chained to an anthill. Can’t say as I ever have.

Well, I better get back to work. The pornography trade is really pretty hard on me (get it, "hard-on"!) I’ll be sure and keep you posted on how things are going with my job--and with the new little lady in my life.

Your Friend Clyde

Dear Clyde,

Little lady? From the picture you sent me of her, she's got one hell of a five o'clock shadow. To quote Austin Powers, "She's a man baby!" But then again....try it; you might like it Clyde.

happy(canthinkofbetterthingstodowithalittlehoney)shrink