Postings from May 16-31, 2002

Date: May 31, 2002   

Dear happy,

I've just started a new job, which I am very fond of. But there is a problem, I've found out that my employer is a lesbian. I know I shouldn't be biased and all that, but she makes me feel kinda uneasy. She makes little comments that are kinda weird, I just don't know how to handle this. I feel this may reflect on me in the long run, on my performance and as a person what should I do? thanks, 

sticky

Dear sticky,

Would the comments that your employer makes seem weird if she wasn't gay? Only you can answer that question and you may want to think about it awhile before you respond. All too often we read more into comments of people who we perceive as different from us. But if in fact it's the comments that make you feel uncomfortable and not your employer's sexual preference, you should let her know that next time she says something "weird." 

If you continue to be uncomfortable at work, then maybe you have to consider other employment options. Ideally our sexuality should not affect our work life. Unfortunately that isn't always the case. Do your job well sticky and give as well as command respect. That's the key to being successful at your new job or any job. Good luck and let me know how things progress.

happy(givesandgetsrepect...mostofthetime)shrink

Dear Happy,

Well, you ain't gonna believe it, but Mildred Thigpen has been certified a healer.  Here's what happen.  JeWitch got the worst cough, sore throat, fever an' throwin' up.  She said she thought she was gonna die.  She called up an' asked iffen I could bring her some crackers an' hot milk.  I said I would be happy to run over an' put it on the porch, becuz I was real scared Harley might catch of it from her.  She said she understood an' would get it off the porch.  When I got there, Mildred was waitin' on the porch an' I give it to her an' she brung it in.  (Can't figger how she knew I was a comin'.)  Anyhow, turns out Jewitch got healed in a half hour an' Mildred was able to go home. Ain't it a miracle?

Gind Rinker

Dear Gind,

Mildred's no healer. She a snooper. Having Mildred at your house could make you forget your are bleeding to death Gind. I'm sure your crackers and milk did wonders too.

happy(Justletmedieinpeace)shrink

Date: May 30, 2002   

Date: May 29, 2002   

Dear Happy,

My wife and I have been happily married for 2 years. We've been married for 22 years total, and 2 of those years were happy. Ha ha. All seriousness aside, my wife went through a period of what seemed to be bipolar stuff a year and a half ago. We almost had to have her hospitalized, then she realized that she was "off" and got on medication.

There was marked improvement. Until 2 months ago. Now she is showing different symptoms. It is more like borderline, without the self-mutilation. Almost all of her communication to me is to tell me how stupid I am, or that I am evil, or that I do not treat her well enough, etc. etc. She accuses me of reading her emails, listening to her phone calls. She waits until no one else is within earshot, and then launches into her lengthy put-downs and diatribes.

Her shrink says that she would benefit from a certain medication. She says that he is just "taking my husband's side" and that her only problem is me. We have kids so I need to take their welfare into consideration, and am not running away from her yet. But boy is it tempting. I mean, I avoid getting trapped into a room with her alone, cause I know she will start telling me some new aspect of how I am not very good.

Whaddaya suggest for me? My Rabbi and counselor says that she has some chemical imbalance and that I should not react to her negative comments - not to argue, not to calmly explain why she is mistaken, not to get defensive - just to let em roll off my back and help her get treatment.

Sorry if this email was long and not so funny. Thanks.

Signed,

Looking for love in perhaps the wrong place?

Dear Looking for love in perhaps the wrong place,

You know that even people suffering from mental illness can be right at times. They also need to feel that they are being treated with respect as well as made to feel valued.  While you may not be evil to your wife, she may feel neglected, taken for granted or even just viewed as a "sick" person. Your joke about being married for 22 years and happily married for 2 years may have more truth to it than you intended. I bet your wife wouldn't find it so funny and she would be justified.

While I agree with your wife's psychiatrist not to debate her on your being mean or stupid, I might also try to treat her differently than you have. When was the last time you brought her flowers or went to a movie with her without the kids. When was the last time you complimented her on the way she looked. When was the last time you offered to help her with things that she's doing. I am not trying to accuse you of being mean to her but why not try to be "nicer" and "kinder" to her? It may do wonders for her and it may also make you feel better about your relationship too. I've been happily married and unhappily married and let me tell you; happily is BETTER! Maybe you are looking for love in the right place but aren't using the right tools to get it. Give it a try. 

Good luck and please let me know how things work out.

happy(happilynowandhopefullyforeverafter)shrink

Dear Happyshrink,

Just a quickie. While looking for rocks to put around my new lawn decoration (a pink flamingo - can you believe my luck?) I just happened to end up at the corner of JeWitch's house. She and her friend Edna were at her pool so I had to go and look for rocks all the way around on the other side of the house because before I couldn't hear a word! So I was casually looking for rocks and I heard Edna telling JeWitch that Bubba got beat up by some woman at a bar the night before - gave him a real shiner, from what she said. Oh, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me repeat the story as best as I can:

This lady comes into the bar and Bubba was in his usual spot at one end of the counter ( I guess they put some padding there when he falls over) Anyway, this lady comes into the bar and sits way down at the other end of the counter. The bar tender gasped a little when he recognized it was Gind's cousin Ima Mae. Ima Mae weighs about 380 and on account of her girth, she can't do much in the way of personal hygein. So Ima Mae raises up her arm which had practically a forest underneath and yells "HEY! Who'll buy a lady a drink?" No one answered. So Ima Mae yells out again "I SAID HEY! WHO'LL BUY A LADY A DRINK?" And Bubba looks down the bar, but he was so wasted that he really couldn't see anything very clearly. So he says "S**t, get the ballerina a drink, Mac." So the bartender gives her a shot of whiskey and she downs it in about 2 seconds. Then she yells out "HEY! WHO'S MAN ENOUGH TO BUY A LADY A DRINK?" and Bubba (idiot) says "S**t, Mac, give the ballerina another drink." This went on for another three rounds and finally the bartender told Bubba that he was being real nice to Ima Mae, considering she never even said thank you, but why do he keep calling her a ballerina. And Bubba says "Anyone who can kick their leg that high MUST be a ballerina." Ima Mae heard that - end of story.

I think Bubba might need glasses. Maybe next time you see Edna you can mention it.

Dear Mildred,

Bubba has always need glasses... but then again, that's the least of his problems. And lets not forget about Edna's problems either.

happy(whatdoyoudowhenyourproblemhasproblems?)shrink

Date: May 28, 2002   

Dear Happyshrink,

Why would a parent favor a abusive child throughout her lifetime (abusive to her as well as a sibling), and consistently be non-supportive and even cruel to the good one?

ZM

Dear ZM,

In many households, it's the difficult child who gets all the attention where the easy child can be taken for granted. In extreme cases where a child grows up to be an abusive and hateful adult, their parents may often feel guilty or responsible. This might lead to a pattern of their tolerating the intolerable. Other siblings can be ignored as adults as well because they are more successful and can make their own way. Some parents may even resent their successful children for not being more helpful to their abusive and unsuccessful sibling.

Every family has it's own unique dynamic ZM. While the scenario I have given you may fit the individuals you are thinking about, there may be other factors as well. Perhaps you can give me more information. Please feel free to do so.

happy(alwaysbeenthegoodone)shrink

Dear Happy,

We had a Memorial Day picnic potluck in the park an' everybody brung real delicious stuff, except Snake, the park manager. He brung frogs. Well I dun heard of frog legs, but whole frogs???

We use to go jiggin' on the creek in Southern Alabama, an' Momma would fry up them legs an', I tell ya, they was delicious. But whole frogs??? Do you suppose that be how he got the name Snake?

Gind Rinker

Dear Gind,

I'm still trying to figure out if Snake is a boy or a girl.

happy(hisssssssssssssssss)shrink

Date: May 27, 2002   HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY

Dear Happy,

My thirteen year old son has started to close the door in his room. I actually don't mind the fact that he closes it most of the time because he likes to play his stereo very loud. But a couple of times when I have knocked on his door, he would shout back, "Don't come in!" and at these times he's not even playing his stereo. What could he be doing. I think I would know if he was smoking pot because it would smell. The only other thing I can think of is that he's masturbating. If this is the case, do I talk to him or leave him alone?

Worried Mom

Dear Worried Mom,

You leave him alone. If you think it's necessary, you can have his father give him some information about the birds and the bees. Other than that, be thankful he's up in his room and not disappearing all day and showing up late at night. If he's doing well in school, has a variety of friends, eats like a moose and keeps his room like he lives in a cave, then he's a normal healthy teenager. 

The most important things you can do right now is make sure that you communicate with him regularly, let him know that if he ever gets in trouble, you will be there for him and never try to understand his taste in music. Hold on tight for the next 7 years Worried Mom. It will be one heck of a ride.

happy(stillwobblyaftergettingoffonewildrideandbackonanother)shrink

Date: May 26, 2002  

Dear Happy,

How much time should a 12 year old be on the computer or watching television. I think my son spends way too much time doing these activities but I'm not sure what is a reasonable amount. Can you give me some ideas?

perplexed mom

Dear perplexed mom,

There is no question that kids today spend too much time watching TV or playing computer games. While I don't think either of these activities are inherently bad there is one undeniable fact that research has shown. Kids today are less physically fit than kids 20 years ago. Participation in organized sports is also down from 20 years ago. If kids spend too many hours in front of a TV or computer screen, they are clearly not getting enough physical exercise as well as other forms of intellectual stimulation.

I don't want to give you a set amount of hours that your son should be allowed to watch TV or be on the computer, but encouragement to get out of the house and participate in physical activities are a good way to offer an alternative. Parents willing to participate in these activities with their kids will be more successful than parents who are couch potatoes themselves. 

One last thought perplexed mom. Television and computers are as much educational tools as they are recreational tools. Encouraging and helping your child to use the computer for school research or sitting down with your child to watch an educational or news program can make a big difference in how they use the computer and TV without you. There is a difference between the Discovery Channel and the Cartoon Network. The example you set can make a difference. Good luck and please feel free to write me again.

happy(goingoutandgettingsomefreshair)shrink

Dear Happy,

Did I ever tell ya about my first husband Jack ?? Jack got run over and killed by a parade float in the 1987 Marty Graw in New Orleans. Well, I missed Jack (some) but then I forgot all about him about a month later when I started dating the town bum. Then just when I was really starting to fall for him, he gives up the drinking and he was such a drag when he was sober that I broke it off with him. And then there was Eddie Edmonds, my prison pen pal. I think he really loved me except he loved Walt Disney stuff more becuz after he broke out of prison, he stole my Dad's pickup, some of our money and credit cards and headed for Disneyland. (Technically, Eddie never come right out and said so-- but I assumed that meant we was no longer dating.)

So, anyhow, back to my present romance… my car broke down last week on account that I haven't changed the oil in it for three years and when I needed it fixed, I went to my dead husband Jack's old garage mechanic, Richard Gerehead. Richard told me that even though I had disrespected my automobile and therefore didn't deserve to live, he'd still like to take me out. So I said sure.

As it turns out, my dead husband Jack knew Richard pretty good becuz Richard works on motorcycles too and when Jack's Harley used to leak oil and when his Harley's muffler was coming off and when his Harley's transmission was messed up and when his Harley's lights wouldn't work, he took his Harley to Richard. Richard said Jack used to talk about me a lot but Richard never knew my name was "Edna" on account that Jack always referred to me by his pet name for me --"Mrs. Fat Ass Shit-For-Brains".

Edna

Dear Mrs. Fat A.... er... Edna,

Thanks for sharing. You know the rumor is that your first husband Jack was such a mean SOB that when he died he went straight to hell. The other rumor is that it took him a month to realize that he wasn't at the Circle K Trailer Park anymore.

happy(gettingreadytogojustassoonasIfindmyhandbasket)shrink

Date: May 25, 2002  

Dear Happyshrink,

Dear Mark,

Individuals who have the more severe cases of bipolar disorder will continue to have symptoms such as obsessive thoughts, poor concentration and mood swings even with medication. Prayer and meditation can always be helpful as well as a good sense of humor. The lasting results you can hope for Mark is that you will accept you illness, get appropriate treatment and value your abilities instead of lamenting your disabilities. Those results can last a lifetime.

As far as humor is concerned here it is: Two guys with bipolar disorder walk into a bar. After two drinks, one says to the other, "Take my wife, please; oh please please, please; oh pretty please, please please, with sugar on top!!!!!!!"

happy(oksoitsalamejoke;atleastImadeitupmyself)shrink

Date: May 24, 2002  

Dear Happyshrink,

First time question-asker here. This isn't really a psychology-related question, but looking at your message boards tells me you're willing to tackle just about anything :). So here goes...This is a relationship question; maybe you can give me some advice...

Here's the back story. About a half a year ago, I found myself having a lot of deep feelings for a woman after getting to know her really well. I decided to take the nose dive and tell her how I felt about her. Unfortunately, she wasn't interested in a relationship, which left me quite disappointed. There have been some rocky moments between us, but I am still friends with her, and I actually still see her often.

I've been under control, but my feelings for her are still very strong. Also, I realized something right after she said no. I was really playing out of my league in terms of looks. I know looks aren't everything, but let's be real, they count for a lot.

Since this all went down months ago, I've lost a TON of weight, and I've done other things to improve my physical appearance. I'm not the most slim of human beings, but I am respectable. More importantly, I'm as confident as a porno star with a ten inch penis (I hope that line isn't too taboo for your site).

Call me crazy, but I think I can make another go at it with my new found physical health and mental confidence. But here's my question. HOW?!?!? How do approach her at this juncture? It would be one thing if this was the first attempt, but we're talking about a situation where this person has already told me "no" once.

I know there's a bizillion fish in the sea, but we'd be so damn good for each other. Your advice is appreciated.

Sincerely,

Man Without Hat

Dear Man Without Hat,

Platonic friendships between men and women are always strange beasts. More often than not, one or both parties are interested in the other in a more intimate way. Once that has been put on the table, it is hard to go back. While you have resumed your friendship after being rejected, there is always an undercurrent of "what might have been" as well as "what might be." If I were giving you advise right after you were rejected, I might suggest you see less of each other because that would help the wounds of rejection to heal faster.

But that's water under the bridge and you continued to see this "friend." Perhaps it was some of the motivation for losing all the weight you did and if that was the case, more power to you. So what do you do now? I wish I had a crystal ball that could give you the perfect answer. Unfortunately not even a happyshrink has that power. I do think you can approach her again and share your feelings as you did the first time. There are no guarantees about what her response will be and you should consider a few things before you approach her.

If she rejects you again, how will that make you feel? Can you continue to be friends or will this finally end the relationship? How painful will it be to hear that she's still not interested even after you have improved your appearance? Can you recover from a second rejection and still have that self confidence you developed intact (even if a bit shaken)?

If she doesn't reject you and shares similar feelings towards you, where do you go from there? I don't know your personal situation, but what kind of commitment are you willing to make. Are you willing to give up those bizillion fish in the sea at this point in your life? Sometimes fear of success is as scary as fear of failure. 

I hope my thoughts are helpful to you Man Without Hat. Good luck and let me know what happens.

happy(10inches,huh?)shrink

Date: May 23, 2002  

Dear Happy,

Dear JeWitch,

Obviously not fast enough to put him out of his misery. I guess he "Jumped" one time too many.

happy(nolongeragigoloeither)shrink

(serious question tomorrow)

Date: May 22, 2002  

Dear Hap,

Do you think it's possible to get hysterical (temporary of course) feelings blindness - just for a bit of peace?  where can one get some of this temporary stuff I mention - I refer NOT to substance aided feelings hysterical blindness.

Dear Judi of the Overload,

This response is not only to the above question but a number of letters you have sent me which I have not posted because I found them both confusing and identifying people in your life that might want their privacy respected. All of us can use some peace from the "Overload" of life. Life is hard for everyone and it doesn't get easier as you get older. That's the latest bit of wisdom I have learned through my own experience.

What I want to suggest to you Judy is that the problems we all face from our work, our friends and family, our relationships and our day to day grind is minor compared to the demons we all fight within us. Among those demons within are; hatred, fear, resentment, denial, self-doubt, loneliness, insecurity, low self-esteem and the worst of all; fear of being ignored. I know you have issues with your neighbor, your children and your Ex. But all those issues get in the way of the real question: What about Judy?

I would really like you to write me a  letter that is clear, concise and talks about Judy. What is it that will put you at peace with the world? Putting all other people in your life aside, what is it that will make Judy a happier person? I'm asking you some tough questions Judy. If answered thoughtfully and truthfully it may take some time for you to respond. That's Ok. I will try my best to listen.

happy(ifIcanreallyhelp)shrink

Dear Happy,

Gunner Coppafele and Hugh Jorgan has put together, kin you believe it, an ice hockey team.  Somebody give 'em sticks an' pucks an' helmets an' stuff an they went to the new ice rink downtown.    Myself, bein' from South Alabama, I ain't never seed ice in person.  But I watched it on TV.  Just to support the Circle K team, Thelma, Jewitch, Edna an' me went.  The women was lined up round to Parramore Street.  I never really expected so many women to be fans of Ice Hockey.

Gind Rinker

Dear Gind,

Who would have thunk that there would be an ice hockey team in Orlando Florida? I was always told that there was no ice in that part of the country because the person with the recipe died. Live and learn!

happy(thirdfromtherightwiththereallycoolhat)shrink

Date: May 21, 2002  

Dear Happyshrink,

I am a chat veteran. I have been chatting now for 6 years and have made a lot of friends. The problem is that I have yet to meet one of them. The reason is that I have never told anyone the truth about who I am. I have made myself less ugly, less overweight, I have given myself a better job than I really have and in short, have made myself into someone I am not. Everyone knows me, or that other person. I chat for several hours a day every day and have some very deep feelings for many of my chat friends. However, I'm getting lonely and there is one woman who does not live too far from me that I would like to meet. I know we would be compatible but there is this lie. Please advise me on what to say to her. I want to come clean. I hope she is a woman *grin*.

PioneerXXY

Dear PioneerXXY,

As a fellow chat veteran, I can certainly understand how you can develop very warm feelings for people you have never met. Chat is the great equalizer. The only skills you need to be successful is the ability to type, spell and have something intelligent, witty or interesting to say. Unfortunately, some people will create a persona that makes them sound better than they really are.

There is no easy way out of this PioneerXXY. What you need to do is come clean, tell everyone the truth and hope for the best. Some people may be really pissed off at you, but some people may actually admire your courage for coming forward and telling the truth. You have no way of knowing how the woman you are interested in will react, but right now she isn't friends with you anyway. She's friends with the person she thinks you are. At least you got a shot at her being friends with the real you if you come clean. Good luck and let me know what happens.

happy(reallyworksinadeliandistotallyclueless)shrink

Dear Happy,

Well, it be another red letter day.  That Harley's soooo smart.  I come into the livin' room from the kitchen cuzzin' I don't hear nothin'.  That usually mean big trouble brewin'.  But this time Harley's just showin' her genius.  She had got the 410 shotgun on the floor an' was trying to put in the shells.  Course, her little fingers couldn't break open the barrel.  The Earl walked in just then, and gave me hell for letting her play with the shotgun.  He say it be way too big for such a little youngin', and I shoulda got her the revolver.  He say she can get her own NRA card at  age 6 if she learns how to fire at a target and he figger she can't handle a 410 at that age.  I told him,  it weren't my idea to load the 410, it was her.  Some days I catch hell for nothin'.

Gind Rinker

Dear Gind,

My weapon of choice for a child of six and under is the Super Soaker 2000. I'm not sure its NRA approved though. You know how dangerous water can be.

happy(almostdrownedduringmylastwatergunfight)shrink

Date: May 20, 2002  

Dear Happyshrink,

I hope that you will respond to my letter soon because I don't know what else to do. I was sleeping over at my friends house last weekend and her brother had pot so we tried it. I felt kind of floaty and then I was really really tired. I remember sitting on the couch in their basement and when I woke up I was in her brothers room. I had the same clothes on and everything, but I felt very strange and kind of unreal. I was alone in the room but heard my friend and her brother talking out in the hall so I got up to go and talk to them but when I opened the door there wasn't anyone there. I went into my friends room and they weren't in their either. I went to the basement and they weren't there. Then I started to get a little scared because I thought that maybe I was in the wrong house and when I ran back up to my friends room she was sitting in the middle of her bed playing a game with her brother and his friend. I said that I was just in her room and she said that I fell asleep in the basement. She said they went upstairs so that I could sleep. But I know I wasn't in the basement because my slippers were in her brothers room. And I had my slippers with me. 

Are they just messing with me? I got dressed and went home, even through it was about 4 am. They tried to talk to me and said I was just tired and that I should just get some sleep and my friend even stopped playing the game with her brother. But I was so mad that I just didn't want to stay so they walked me home. It's been a week now and I haven't talked to her. Why would they do something like that? I don't know what to say now and its been too long to not say anything. Yesterday she gave me this note with a puppy on it saying that she was sorry. I just tore it up. Now I'm sorry I did that. What do I say to her?

Emily P.

Dear Emily P,

The first thing you do is take responsibility for smoking the pot that was offered to you. It doesn't sound like anyone twisted your arm to get you to try it and you could have said no and prevented this situation. As far as what really happened that night, is hard for me to say. Very potent marijuana is capable of putting you in a state of mind where your memory and perception are significantly impaired. I don't have any answers for why your slipper were where they were and why you were where you were but it seems to me that everyone is at fault. 

So now you want to know what to say to your friend. That depends on whether or not you want to remain friends. If you do, you should ask to meet with her and talk about what happened. Take responsibility for your role in the situation and maybe the two of you can agree that your friendship and pot smoking are not a good mix. I would guess that would be true for alcohol and other pharmaceuticals. 

All and all Emily P, you have the opportunity to have learned an important lesson without it costing you that much. Feel lucky and use the experience well.

happy(stilllearningfromhisownmistakes)shrink

Dear Happy,

First off, congrats from me and Gilbert on your upcoming eventual nuptials. Gilbert and I were married by the JP. What a lovely ceremony. We even found shoes to fit my Gilberts special feet - he's a EEEEEE, you know. Very hard to shop for.

Oh, so I was mowing my lawn and overheard JeWitch talking to her son on the phone. I think you should wonder about what his sanity must be like. You know what she said? She said, "Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs and make it all the way."

And I thought - "I'd kinda like to see that." Do you think it's time to move?

Mildred Thigpen

Dear Mildred,

I think it's time to get Gilbert his egg, cheese and peanut butter sandwich. Thanks for your congratulations. I'll pass wind.....er I mean I'll pass it on to Wind.

happy(gottaeatlesscabbage)shrink

Date: May 19, 2002  

Dear ZT,

In almost all cases of hysterical blindness, vision does eventually come back once the person's primary defense mechanisms return to a somewhat normal state. It is important to understand that there is no physical damage to the eye in the case of hysterical blindness and the loss of sight is actually a psychological defense mechanism.  

Emotional trauma and psychological stress can also bring about real physical problems very different from hysteria. Conditions like ulcers are often related to stress, aggravation, nervousness etc. In some extreme cases of emotional trauma, someone can be subject to physical damage to vital organs and nerves. While your friend's cousin's case is extremely rare, it is possible. The fact that he's being further evaluated by another specialist is a good idea. There have been amazing advances in ophthalmology over the last 20 years and perhaps his vision can be restored; if not now, sometime in the near future. Good luck and please update me.

happy(alwayshopefulforacure)shrink  

Dear Happy

I rounded up the beer cans an' turned 'em in this morning.  Come up to $6.45.  I decided it be best spent on a new hairdo.  You know they ain't nothing kin raise up your spirits like a new do.  So I brung this picture of the second lady, Lynn Cheney, to the hairdresser school .  Now it be a beautiful  do, but it didn't come out lookin' so good on me.  I can't believe I got soaked $6 for such a mess.  They must be Democrats.

Gind Rinker

             
         Lynn Cheney                                         Gind Rinker

Dear Gind,

Don't you fret one bit about your new do. It really becomes you and you know what they say about blondes; they have more fun! Just look how much fun Lynn Cheney seems to be having. You are still the Earl's "First Lady!" Now if you can get him to keep his hands off off of his second, third fourth and fifth lady, your marriage has got a chance. 

happy(Ifyouhaveonelifetolive,liveitasablonde)shrink

Date: May 18, 2002  

Dear Shez,

Whether or not your ex-fiancé comes back into your life is really up to you. It is your choice whether to see him again or not. If you do see him, it doesn't mean your relationship picks up from where it left off. Sometime we do revisit our past, but we can never stay there. We are always in the present and moving towards the future. The past is our teacher and our frame of reference for what we desire. Remember all of the good that you have now and all of the dreams you hope for Shez. I can only give you one guarantee; winter will end and spring will return.

happy(savethatlightweightduvet)shrink

Dear JeWitch,

I guess there must have been a lot of traffic on the road for Edna to be creeping along at 75 mph. And despite your boyfriends insistence that he was disconnected from a very important phone call, he always has the option of redialing the Psychic Friends Hotline. 

happy(You'llbemakingabigdecisionoverthenext2years)shrink

Date: May 17, 2002  

Hi Happyshrink,

I met my fiancé in my work, (over the phone, he is a client from my business). We fell in love over the phone, he lives in Florida and I live in California. I tried to fly 3 times ( I'm supposed to fly the 26th of May; got the ticket) and every time he change his mind. Is he getting a Cold feet.?

Thank you for an answer.

Brainforbus.

Dear Brainforbus,

It's unclear to me if you ever met each other, or if your engagement is a function of a phone relationship. Have you ever met? How long has this relationship been going on? Clearly he's avoiding something, but I would seriously ask you to rethink the nature of your relationship and how much you really know about each other. I would suggest that the two of you have a serious conversation about where your relationship is going, but if you want me to give you more specific advise, you would need to give me more details about the nature of your relationship. 

happy(needsmoreinfo)shrink  

Dear Happy,

Here is some more of my JeWisdom about men and women:

JeWitch,

Dear JeWitch,

And we got that way from lifting our women over the threshold.

happy(stillhasahernia)shrink

Date: May 16, 2002  

Dear Shez,

I am glad that things have settled down. I think that getting off of Lithium is a good long term benefit even if you were not trying to conceive. Medications like Tegretol or Depakote may also have long term side effects but are still safer and less problematic than Lithium. Please let me know how you do with it. Summer is on it's way in the USA and I'm looking forward to a thinner duvet and some lemonade or a wine cooler. 

happy(likesbeingunderthecovers)shrink