Postings from March 1-15, 2002
Date: March 15, 2002
Dear Happyshrink, What can I do to not feel like a failure most of the time? I have a lot of things to do in my life and I feel that rather than just tackle these things, I feel like no matter which thing I am doing it is the wrong one and that I am letting everyone down. I also feel that if I do something that I feel is important and it has to come before something that I am doing for someone else that I am being very selfish. Then I feel guilty and tend to avoid doing what I need to do, perhaps because I feel so bad that I wanted to do that thing first. I know that there has to be something that I can tell myself to not feel this way but I don't quite know what it is. Help! Stretched Thin Dear Stretched Thin, For most people there is not enough time to do all the thing we want to do in life and as a result we have to make choices. How we make those choices has to do with many factors including our personality, our values, our circumstances as well as the messages we received as we were growing up. All too often we received messages that we should be able to do more, do more for others and satisfy the needs of others before we consider our own needs. If this was a message you received growing up, its no wonder that your self esteem appears to be so low. Another message we might have received when we were growing up was that anytime something went wrong, it was somebody's (and in most cases you know who that somebody was) fault. As a society, we often look to apply blame rather than solve problems. Those individuals that grew up with that kind of message have difficult separating the difference between "Feeling bad and feeling guilty!" I think that might be happening to you Stretched Thin. You can't do everything you want to do or that others want you to do, but instead of feeling bad about it and realizing that you have limits, you feel guilty and inadequate. So the thing I would keep telling myself is, "I can feel bad about not being about to do everything everyone wants me to do without feeling guilty." I'm not sure that this may be enough to make you feel better. I might suggest therapy, but that's more stuff to fit into your already busy schedule. On the other hand, it's something to do for yourself and just maybe you are worth the time and effort. I hope so Stretched Thin. Please feel free to write again. happy(stretchedthinbutstillchubby)shrink
Dear Happy, Jewitch done gone off with one of her boyfriends to Las Vegas. Probably gonna get married again. Do you think they ask her to marry them or does she order them to do it? Tis beyond me how they just line up to be abused by her. But, I'm gettin off the track again. She done left her new Chihuahua here for me to take care of. It wakes me up at 6 AM to go out by yankin' on my toe with her fangs till I get up bloody and let her out. She grabs the big dogs by the throat if they go near their food before she has had all she wants ...........and if she wants water..............!!!
Dear Gind, Would you expect anything else from one of JeWitch's dogs? happy(aycarumba)shrink
Date: March 14, 2002
No Posting today. Happy has some personal matters to attend to. He'll be back tomorrow.
Date: March 13, 2002
Dear Happyshrink, My husband spanks our 6 year old son when he misbehaves. I don't believe children should be spanked but my husband says that he was spanked when he was a child and it made him behave better. How can I convince him that it's not a good idea? MT Dear MT, I agree with you that spanking is not the best way to discipline a child. I think you need to discuss this further with your husband. I would ask him the following questions: How did spanking make him behave better? Does he want his son to grow up fearing him? At what point does your husband feel that spanking can become abuse? What might be some alternatives to spanking? If this doesn't work MT, you might want to have this discussion with a family therapist. If you feel that your husband is being abusive, you need to do more than that. If this is the case write me back and let me know. happy(intolerantofabuse)shrink
Dear Happy, As the spiritual leader of the Circle K Trailer Park I must express to you my displeasure at your discussions with some of the young boys who live at park. They tell me that you said to them that masturbation is normal. They also told me that your are of the Jewish faith. I must explain to you that we here at the Circle K are all God fearing Christians and believe that masturbation is a mortal sin. Please don't spread your immoral Northeastern liberal values down here. We are not your kind of people and now I have had to take drastic actions to stop some of these boys from committing one of the deadliest of all sins. I have put up the following posters all over the trailer park.
I can only pray to the Lord that I can undo all the damage you have done. Respectfully, Reverend Jeremiah Thaddeus Crabtree Dear Reverend Crabtree, I have consulted with my long time Christian friend Reverend Al and he is of the opinion that if more of boys living at the Circle K Trailer Park masturbated, there would be less thirteen and fourteen year old mothers at the park. I have also sent a letter to Edna Hoppenstadder and Gind Rinker to make sure that you are not allowed to go near any kittens. Respectfully, happy(gochokeyourownchicken)shrink
Date: March 12, 2002
Dear Happyshrink, Last night, after my girls were asleep, I went on a rampage and shredded every last item of clothing that I could find that the Sociopath/Pedophile left behind in my house. Question: Does this mean I've finally lost it? Sincerely, Judi(gotScissors?)blueye PS: The detective says that the Sociopath/Pedophile refused to take a polygraph. What do you suppose the significance of this might be? It can't be his guilty conscience, because of course he hasn't got one. Dear Judiblueye, You are appropriately angry and if there is a symbolic way to "tear" or "rip" the sociopath out of your life, you found that way in shredding his clothes. It's not a surprise that he refused to take a polygraph. He's smart and he will use the justice system to protect himself. If you and your daughter choose to press charges against him, he will be in your life longer and perhaps he will continue to make you angry, but I think that it's important that he not get away with something as depraved as what he did and may do again. I know you like to use the word sociopath to describe this man who exploited you and molested your daughter. I would use another word; predator. This person preys on people, gets what he can out of them and then moves on. Don't let the predator move on Judi. He needs to be stopped and prevented from preying on new victims. It will take a lot of courage from you and your daughter to pursue this matter. I can't make up your mind for you, but in my opinion it's worth it. happy(predatorsbelonginjail)shrink
Dear Happy, I know you are a dog lover and it may please you to know that the Circle K Trailer Park Security just instituted a K-9 division. We only have one dog so far but he's real mean and I think he'll keep some of my kids...er.... I mean my neighbor's kids from trashing the place. Here's a picture of "killer."
Damn he's scarey! Edna Dear Edna's Kids PUT DOWN THE CHALUPA! happy(lacoocaracha)shrink
Date: March 11, 2002
Dear Happyshrink, I'm interested in any studies that may have been done, or your own thoughts to why people continue to do things that they know aren't good. Why in an age when the risks of heart disease is so commonly known, is the disease still claiming more lives than any other disease. What causes folks to ignore the information that is out there? Thanks in advance for your time and thoughts! M Dear M, The answer to your question can be summed up in four words: rationalization, denial and more denial. Most people will fool themselves into thinking, "Someone else will get cancer; it doesn't even run in my family." Or they might talk themselves into thinking, "I can eat healthier next year when there is less stress in my life." This rationalization can apply to eating, smoking, drinking, driving without seat belts, etc. Some people will even go so far as to say that what they are doing is healthy. I recently ate out with a group of people and one woman put about half a stick of butter on her roll. A number of us commented that it might not be healthy. This woman said she had gone to a nutritionist and the nutritionist told her that butter was healthier than margarine. I asked her what her nutritionist would say about her using a half a stick of butter on a roll? She then told me to mind my own business, which I did. So if you can't rationalize, you can always use "more denial." Our society has more information about what is healthy and what is not than any previous generation and yet we are more overweight and have poorer diets than ever before. Of course there's my very favorite rationalization: "People are living longer than ever before and by the time I get cancer or heart disease, medical science will probably have a cure for it." Perhaps on some level, having a false sense of indestructibility or being able to repress fears of real danger has its positive points. It certainly helps us get though the day without being paralyzed by the thought that the bridge we drive over every day might be blown up or someone is going to crash a plane in a building we are working in. Right now given all that has happened over the past six months, it may be hard convincing people to eat better and live healthier and safer lives. But that shouldn't stop you from trying M. If your message is to get people to eat and live healthier, continue to send people your message even if some of them don't listen. Some people will. Please feel free to reply, especially if you have some of your own opinions on the subject. happy(needstolivehealthiertoo)shrink
Dear Happy, That Edna makes me so mad. Yes, her story about my one day as a candy striper was true but she left out the most important part. After I told the guy his wife was dead he began to have a what looked like a seizure, so I grabbed him by the shoulders, shook him for about 30 seconds, slapped him across the face and punched him in the stomach. It turns out that he had swallowed his tongue and my quick and decisive intervention probably saved his life. I even relieved his grief by telling him that I was still f***ing with him about his wife and she had just sprained her ankle. But does the hospital appreciate the fact that I saved a life and gave him comfort in his time of need? Noooooo! So I don't care if I ever set foot in a hospital again as long as I live. JeWitch Dear JeWitch, Have you thought about seeking employment at a funeral home? The people are already dead so you can't do too much damage. On second thought, you probably can. Never mind. happy(gobacktobeinganaccountant)shrink
Date: March 10, 2002
Dear Happyshrink, Why is it that my 13 year old son is polite to every other adult on the planet, but he's awful to me? All of his friends' mothers tell me what a nice kid he is; he always offers to help clean up when he's invited to dinner. Anytime I ask him to help clear the table or clean his room he gives me attitude. What am I doing wrong? Frustrated Mom Dear Frustrated Mom, I don't know if you are doing anything wrong but you have been doing a lot of things right. Your son knows to be polite and courteous to adults and he understands that he represents your family when he is visiting others. Good work frustrated mom. As far as his giving you attitude, join the club. Thirteen years of age should be known as "The Age of Attitude." If you think your son is bad, be thankful you don't have a 13 year old daughter. This is a time in an early adolescent's life when he or she needs to assert their individuality. Often that means distancing themselves from their family. As he gets older and his sense of identity becomes more developed he may still be a piece of work but things will get a little better. The fact that he's polite to other adults indicates to me that he is still influenced by your values and that is really important when he has to make decisions about sex, drugs and alcohol. Keep in mind that no matter how much attitude he gives you, he still looks to you for guidance and you need to give it to him even if he protests. Keep up the good work. happy(stillhasalotofattitude)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, Remember the candy striper.. candy stripper conversation via this website you had with JeWitch a few months ago ?? Well, believe it or not. She really wanted to be a candy STRIPER .. at the hospital. Lasted ONE day. Maybe it was just half a day .. They didn't wait for her to go home to tell her don't come back ... Here is what happened. This old man, Mr. Jones, got a call from the hospital where JeWitch went to work and was on duty. They told him that his wife's been in a terrible car accident. He rushed to the hospital, runs in to the ER and says where is my wife .. how is my wife ?? After figuring out who he is and who his wife is, they tell him Dr. Smith is handling the case but the doctor was in surgery with another patient. They tell him to have a seat and they will get a candy striper to stay with him until the doctor was out of surgery. JeWitch, being a bit over anxious, grabs the woman's chart on the way to the waiting room. Reading it as she heads down the hall. That was a BIG NO-NO .. and the beginning of the end of her job. "Are you Mr. Jones?" JeWitch asked. "Yes ma'am, what's happened? How is my wife?" JeWitch sat down next to him. Mr. Jones sees the chart in her hand and in his confused state must have thought she was a nurse or something and asked about the prognosis?" That was not a question to be answered by a nurse, let alone a candy striper... especially if that candy striper was JeWitch. There was no shutting her up once she got started. The rest of the conversation went like this. Trying to sound like a professional JeWitch begins to ad lib, "Well, Mr. Jones, her vital signs are stable. However, her spine is inoperable. This report says she'll have no motor skills or any capabilities for that matter. This means you will have to feed her." Mr. Jones began to tear up. JeWitch went on to tell him "You'll have to turn her in her bed every two hours to prevent pneumonia and bedsores." Mr. Jones began to sob softly. So JeWitch hits him with ... "Then, of course, you'll have to diaper her as she'll have no control over her bladder and of course these diapers must be changed at least five times a day." At this point Mr. Jones began to shake with his sobs and wails. JeWitch was on a roll and continues: "You will have to clean up her feces on a regular basis. She'll have no control over her sphincter. Her bowels will release quite often. Of course you must clean her immediately to avoid accumulation of the putrid crap she'll be emitting regularly." Now Mr. Jones began convulsing and slid off the bench into a sobbing pitiful mass. The nurses and doctors were closing in on JeWitch ... So she had to finish this conversation fast .. she reached out her hand and patted Mr. Jones on the shoulder and said in a very cheerful voice ... "Hey, hey ....... Mr. Jones ... I'm just f***ing with you ....... she's dead." I don't have to say more, do I ??? Edna Dear Edna, It's hard to believe but may JeWitch would be better suited as a candy stripper. happy(swearingoffhospitalsandstripjoints)shrink
Date: March 9, 2002
In response to mk's phobias, cnot writes: Happy, Here is a link to a great website http://www.anxieties.com, it was very useful to me when I had to fly a few months ago. It might be of some help to the person who is concerned about flying & going fast. cnot Dear cnot, Thank you for telling about this most informative and interesting web site. I spent quite a bit of time on it and found it to be extremely rich in information about many issues with regard to anxiety. In addition to phobias, there is information about panic attack, obsessive-compulsive disorders, generalized anxiety disorders and social anxiety. Each topic provides step by step actions one can take to reduce symptoms and live a more productive life. If you or anyone else has a good website in any mental health topic, please let me know of it so I can review it and post the information. happy(stilllearningaboutnewthingsontheInternet)shrink
Dear Happy, Until something effing happens in the "armpit" of Florida, something interesting enough to write about, I will just continue to share with you some of my FAMOUS JeWisdom. 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep. 2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. a) It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20-foot room. 5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. a) When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. b) A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. c) The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. 6. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late. 7. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. 8. A 6-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. a) A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day. 9. Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive tract of a 3-year-old. 10. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence. 11. Super glue is forever. 12. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. a) Pool filters do not like Jell-O. 13. VCR's do not eject PBJ sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. 14. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 15. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. 16. You probably do not want to know what that odor is. 17. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. a) Plastic toys do not like ovens. b) The fire department in Orlando, FL has a 5-minute response time. 18. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. a) It will, however, make cats dizzy. b) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. JeWitch Dear JeWitch, Maybe John Dewey really knew what he was talking about when he said, "The belief that all genuine education comes about through experience does not mean that all experiences are genuinely or equally educative." happy(nowwheredidIputmyhamster)shrink
Date: March 8, 2002
Dear Happyshrink, I have some sort of phobia when it comes to riding on things that go fast such as roller coasters and even motorcycles and airplanes. I have been able to deal with it on some levels such as riding in a fast boat, because I love to do that. However, most times I go out on the boat I get the "panic attack" feeling a couple of times and then if fades away. My current concern is I need to take some trips across the country for my job and will need to fly. Are there any therapies for this condition and what medication would be good to keep my calm while I'm flying? Thank You, mk Dear mk, The more effective treatments for phobias are behaviorally based desensitization therapies. If you are in an HMO or Managed Care health plan, they can probably give you a referral to a behavioral therapist. For a long term treatment, that is probably the way to go. If you are planning on taking some business trips in the near future, you might want to speak to your family doctor about prescribing a mild tranquilizer that is effective in treating panic attacks. I would caution you that this should be considered a temporary solution to your problem and the behavioral desensitization approach is what you should view as the primary treatment for your phobia. Good luck and let me know how you make out. happy(fearoftrailerparks)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, Sometimes, life throws us a helping hand when we
least expect it. Nevertheless, she had managed to save two hundred
dollars to buy her children some Valentine's Day presents (since she
didn't get them anything at Christmas). "Why didn't you scream for help?" I asked
him. JeWitch Dear JeWitch, Once again you have demonstrated your incredible humanity. I'm sure you realized that Rusty would have bought his mom and his sisters a lot of unhealthy chocolate candy that they would end up eating and as a result gaining a lot of weight. In all probability, his mom Edna would have lost her job at the Dew Drop Inn and his sister Lucy would have been fired from Girls, Girls and more Girls Strip Joint. Your quick thinking save the day for everyone! By the way, if you get sick of eating all that candy that you bought with Rusty's hundred bucks, please feel free to send me some. happy(chocoholic)shrink
Date: March 7, 2002
Dear Happyshrink, This is an awkward question but how do you deal with a 13 year old that masturbates? It seems like my son is doing it all the time. Whenever I go into his room it seems like he has to jump under the covers and looks very embarrassed. I have asked him if he wants to talk to me about anything and he just shrugs. I have talk to my husband about it and he things its normal and I should just ignore it. Am I being overly concerned? It seems to me he's to young to be masturbating. I don't remember having those urges when I was his age. Please give me some good advice about what to do. FV Dear FV, Your husband already gave you good advice. He told you to ignore it. If your son has reached puberty which I suspect he has, then it's not too young to have those urges. Your sons urges as well as how he satisfied them are quite normal and age appropriate. I do have some other good advice to give you though. Knock on your son's door and wait for him to say it's alright to come in before you enter. At age thirteen his privacy should be respected and it will save both of you awkward and embarrassing situations. I also have some good advice for your husband. He might want to have one of those "man to man" talks with your son about the "birds and the bees." If he doesn't feel like he knows how to go about it, there are many books that you can purchase that explain how to talk to your kids about sex. The important message your son needs to know is that it's a normal and healthy part of life and there is a time and place for it. Your son is not a sex maniac FV. Allow him discover his sexuality in a normal healthy way. happy(loadedwithgoodadvicetoday)shrink
Dear Happy, Well, Cousin Thelma just left my trailer. She almost lost her good man Dui last night. What happen was Dui had to take the boss's dump truck home to change the oil (him being an expert miken........makan......car repairman). Well, of course, he ain't got no license (too many drunk driving tickets). So him being real nervous, he stopped to the What Not with the boys. When he got to the calm point, probably could blow .4, he headed to the Circle K. Sure 'nuff, a Highway Patrol car pulled him over. The cop said, "Did you know you have a taillight out?" Dui knowed he weren't able to stand, and being smart, he jumped outta that truck and crawled under that truck fastlike and got to looking for the loose wire under the truck. "I'll find the problem an' fix it before I go another foot, officer," he said. He kept crawling round under there and talking to that officer for 20 minutes. The officer finally said, "Well, fix it tomorrow and be careful going home." It was a close call for sure. Dui woulda pulled 5 to 10 this time. If you have to do 5 to 10, you might be considered an alcoholic, wouldn't you agree? Gind Rinker Dear Gind, I don't like to use the word alcoholic. I prefer "intoxicatingly challenged." Let's hope that poor DUI is up for the challenge. happy(notupforanymorechallengestoday)shrink
Date: March 6, 2002
Dear Happyshrink, I am 33 year old woman who has been just diagnosed as having a schizo-affective disorder. Originally, I was diagnosed as being Bipolar. Can you tell me the difference and why I am now taking Zyprexa? PF Dear PF, Schizo-affective disorder is a condition that includes both mood swings like bipolar disorder and some kind of delusions and/or hallucinations like schizophrenia. People who have been originally diagnosed as having bipolar disorder are usually on mood stabilizers and possibly anti-depressants. If it is determined that the person suffers from schizo-affective disorder, an anti-psychotic such as Zyprexa can be added to the treatment. You should speak with you psychiatrist and have him/her explain all of your medications as well as their side effects. It is very important that you understand what each medication is for so you can participate and support your own treatment plan. Good luck PF and let me know how you are doing on your new medication. happy(supportsteamwork)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, It's me. Mildred. JeWitch is really becoming annoying. Really annoying. She still cannot find a job and frankly the amount of hours that I now have to spend watching and listening is beginning to cut into my soap time and also (I'm almost ashamed to admit this) I was so busy over under her kitchen window lis...um....gardening, that I forgot to add fabric softener to the wash and now my Gilbert's clothes are sticking together. Polyester does that, you know. JeWitch was talking to that Edna (what a fine example of what you don't want to be when you grow up). She lost another job during the interview and she was so close! Here's how the conversation went: JeWitch: "DAMN IT!! IF ONLY I WOULD HAVE KEPT MY F*****G MOUTH SHUT! DAMN IT, EDNA! DAMN DAMN DAMN!" Edna: "What happened this time, Witch?" JeWitch: "I went to that place that was hiring accountants and checked in with the receptionist. She said there were 2 other people ahead of me. So I sat down. After about 5 minutes, I heard yelling from the office and some guy came running out and said something about the guy hiring not having any ears." Edna: "Yeah? You suppose that maybe his family ate them? We had to do that to uncle Earl once 'cause it was a hard freeze and we couldn't find anything on the road." JeWitch: "NO! LISTEN! So then I sat there a little bit longer. About another 10 minutes later this lady comes running out from some office and there was all kinds of shouting and something broke I think! And she just ran past me and said something about the guy not having any ears." Edna: "Maybe they were talking about corn." JeWitch: "YEAH, RIGHT! LISTEN, YOU BIG DUMMY! So then it was my turn. I went into this office and sat down. Sure enough, the guy behind the desk didn't have ears. But after all the yelling and screaming from before, I didn't know what to say, so I just sat there. So after STARING at me for about 900 HOURS he asks me if I notice anything different about him. OH MY GOD! I'm thinking I'm so dead that this guy is worked himself into a HOMICIDAL FRENZY and I'm GOING TO DIE! I didn't know what to say. I just sat there. He asked me again if I noticed anything different about him. I finally said -- you wear contact lenses, don't you?" Edna: "How in the name of the creator did you figure that out" JeWitch: "Edna, you DORK! I didn't. I just took a stab at something that wasn't going to get me thrown out of the window! Anyway, this guy starts really praising me, and looks over my resume and asks how I managed to be so perceptive -- boy did I LUCK OUT -- and then he asks how I figured out that he wore contact lenses? I said, BEFORE I THOUGHT, that it would be pretty f***ing hard to wear glasses with no ears....." That's all I recorded, um, I mean, happened to overhear. Did I ever tell you that I have a photographic memory? I retain everything I hear. I think JeWitch could use some pointers on thinking before she speaks. Oh, I have to run. My double peanut butter cake is ready to come out of the oven. Mildred Thigpen Dear Mildred, Given the fact that your hearing is so good, maybe you could lend that hiring guy one of your ears. At least then in can wear a monolens. happy(nolongerinfearofgoingdeaf)shrink
Date: March 5, 2002
Dear Happyshrink, I have been on Prozac for over a year and at this point, my depression is well under control and I don't really have any side effects. How long can I remain on Prozac without it having a negative effect on my health? I am 32 years old and have suffered from depression since I was a teenager. Last year at my husband's urging, I finally went to a psychiatrist for help. This year has been very liberating for me and I don't want it to end. My psychiatrist is pleased with my progress and feels I need to remain on the Prozac for an indefinite period. I'm just a little scared that the bubble may burst in the future. Do I have anything to worry about? Deb Dear Deb, The fact that your depression has been under control for over a year is a good sign that the medication is doing its job and will hopefully continue to do its job. There are no guarantees though and it is not unusual for psychoactive medications to need adjusting from time to time. As far as the long range side effects of Prozac or any other medication, you should discuss that with your psychiatrist. It would also be a good idea to have a physical exam on a regular basis just to make sure you remain healthy. You are very fortunate to have found a treatment for depression that is both effective and has little or no side effects for you. Nobody can make any guarantees for the future Deb but right now I would ride the wave! Good luck. happy(ridingthewavesoflife)shrink
Happy, The other day I asked mom if I could have braces. She said, "what the heck do you want braces for, you have beautiful teeth?" I said "not for my teeth, for my leg." (and I showed her my crippled leg) She yelled at me .. "get back under the porch with the Siamese twins before one of the neighbors sees you." I hate it under the porch. Andie Dear Andie, It's probably a lot healthier for you to be under the porch with the Siamese twins than in the trailer with your mom and Bubba. happy(timetogetoutfromundertheporchandgotowork)shrink
Date: March 4, 2002
howdy happyshrink, I've got B.P.D.... I'm still not sure about what it is, and I need to know how I can recover. Thanks kath Dear kath, Considering that there are over 6 million people in the US who suffer from Borderline personality disorder, you might think that it would be easy to define. It really isn't because it can lead to such a variety of behaviors and symptoms. Here are the DSM IV definition and indicators:
If your diagnosis has been made by a psychiatrist, they may be able to help you locate a good therapist experienced in helping people who have BPD. The psychiatrist may also be able to help you by prescribing medication to help reduce the intensity of some of your symptoms. If your diagnosis was made by your therapist, then it will be important to discuss the issue of medication and ongoing treatment. You, your therapist and your psychiatrist should become a team and it is very important that you establish a good working relationship with both. One particularly effective treatment option for BPD is called "DBT" or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. The most popular course of this treatment was developed by Dr. Marcia Linehan. This therapy is particularly good in a group setting and usually the commitment period for this therapy is about a year. During that time, you will learn different techniques for recognizing certain behaviors and develop coping strategies for stressful situations so that when they come up, you have a "battle plan." There are actual worksheets that are assigned as homework involving various aspects of behavior and responses that you will be asked to work on each week. You said something in your letter that is very important. You said "how do I recover?" The important thing to remember with BPD is that by educating yourself and going through the process of therapy, you can decrease the symptoms that you have and hopefully over time make those symptoms that do crop up minimal. This is not a condition that is without it's setbacks and frustrating moments. You do have the power to change your reaction and the outcome of what you experience as frustrating and intolerable moments in your day-to-day life. Treating BPD is not a sprint, kath. It is a marathon. Understanding all your options will help you to achieve the most positive outcome. Good luck and please feel free to write to me again with other questions or thoughts about your BPD. happy(stillrunninghismarathon)shrink
Dear Happy, Well, I went over to Edna's for some instant grits. Kin you believe I run outta grits. Anyway, cuzzin' it be a few trailers down, I took Harley with me. I been trying to ween her off the titty and she ain't none too happy about it neither. Anyhow, Edna asked me iffen I wanted a cup of coffee. I had Harley on my lap and, when Edna sit down with them 44DD, Harley's eyes popped open and she reached cross the table and tore open her blouse and grabbed for lunch. I was embarrassed and took her home without the grits. I guess sometimes no matter how you try, you can't give your kids everything they want. Gind Rinker Dear Gind, That goes double for husbands. happy(gettingeverythinghewants)shrink
Date: March 3, 2002
Dear Happyshrink, Can you tell me what criteria a psychiatrist would use to prescribe Ritalin to a seven year old child. My son has always been hyper. It has gotten progressively worse since he has started school. My parents have said that I was the same way when I was his age and I grew out of it. He has had quite a few incidents at school which have involved fighting with other kids and having tantrums. My wife and I have been called into school at least a dozen times this year. I don't remember having those kinds of problems when I was his age. The school has done some testing and recommended that we have our son seen by a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist says he has ADHD and is recommending that he be put on Ritalin or something called Concerta. My parents and my wife think that he's too young to go on drugs and feel that as he gets older he will come around. The school is saying that his behavior problems may result in his being held back next year. I don't know what to do. Do you have any opinions? Should my son be on Ritalin or not? JM Dear JM, I can't tell you if your child should be on Ritalin or not but you can see another psychiatrist to get a second opinion. If the second psychiatrist also feels that your son may have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), then you have consider medication seriously. While the psychiatrist can make a recommendation, the decision rests with you and your wife. The school has another responsibility to you and your child. Now that they have done testing, they must develop an Individual Education Plan (IEP) that will work to optimize your son's success in school and address whatever learning challenges he might face. Having a solid IEP is very important for kids with ADHD and it is important for you to work with his team at school so that he can have the best possible outcome. Whether or not to give children Ritalin, Concerta or any other psychostimulant medication has been the subject of controversy for many years. Here again, working with your son's psychiatrist and school as a team will have a more positive outcome. On the one hand, ADHD became a "popular" diagnosis and a sort of catch-all for many learning, social and behavioral issues that children faced in school. Ritalin seemed to be the answer because it helped the schools cope more with behaviorally challenged kids. However, on the other hand, ADHD is every bit as real a diagnosis as ulcers or dermatitis and deserves the same consideration and professional treatment. You would not hesitate to give your son antibiotics if he had an infection. Ritalin or Concerta are simply medications used to treat a different condition. If you withhold medication that your child needs because of you or your wife's own issues, then you have done your child a disservice. Do the right thing for your child JM happy(lifeishardevenforasevenyearold)shrink
Happyshrink, The other day I asked my mom if I could have a dollar because this kid at school always beats me up. But if I give him a dollar he leaves me alone. (I had almost succeeded in scamming her out of a buck) JeWitch was there and right as mom was about to hand it over JeWitch says, "forget the dollar, we'll run him over when I come pick you up after school." DAMN HER !! Rusty Dear Rusty, Maybe the State Police could give JeWitch a dollar a day if she agrees not to pick you up at school anymore. happy(keepingoffthestreetsofOrlandoFlorida)shrink
Date: March 2, 2002
Dear Happy, When I was at the therapist yesterday, I was not as in control as I usually am, and I am afraid I let him know that I hear voices and see people others don't. Since hearing voices is usually associated with Schizophrenia, and I am not, can you give more information about those people who do hear voices and see people? I know that it has been said that hearing voices is more common than people think, and I am curious is it common or at least possible for someone with DID to hear voices and see people as well, without having schizophrenic tendencies. My therapist said that 10% to 15% of the
population could create something like this at will, like a place to hide
even the voices are hostile most of the time. Methos Dear Methos, As I have stated in a previous letter, there are some symptoms of Schizophrenia and Dissociative Identity Disorder that are similar despite the fact that they are different conditions. In the case of the schizophrenic, the hallucination is the focal point of the disorder. In the case of someone with DID who developed this condition as a result of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) the hallucination is either a remnant of a past traumatic memory, or it is a vehicle created to provide safety from the outside world. The schizophrenic will sometimes use other vehicles to protect themselves from the outside world but in general, their hallucinations do not offer them the same kinds of protection. I know that you are concerned about your husband's perception of your illness. This needs to be something you have to discuss with him in an open and honest way. As in the past, if you need a marriage counselor to help facilitate the discussion, I would suggest you do so. Frankly, it doesn't matter much what labels you put on psychiatric conditions. What does matter is that you recognize that all individuals who suffer from mental illness are people who have rational moments as well as irrational ones; just like everyone else on the planet who aren't "labeled." Don't let yourself be defined by a label Methos. You are too special a person for that to happen. happy(onlylooksfortheUnionLabel)shrink
Dear Happy, Reverend Al was tellin' us at Sunday school bout how Jesus walked on water and this Easter thing and how Jesus was assentioning into Heaven from a hill 40 days after Easter. Near as I can tell, nobody ever seed him agin'. Then Mary was a sayin' that George W, our hero, walks on water. Now I'm a gittin' worried. Do you reckon George W might be assentioning into Heaven and we won't ever see him agin'? Gind Rinker Dear Gind, I don't have the answer to that question right now. I might be able to give you an answer in about 2 years and 8 months. In the meantime, have Reverend Al tell you more relevant Bible stories like the one when the Easter Bunny comes hopping down the Bunny Trail. happy(gettingreadytopaintthoseeggs)shrink
Date: March 1, 2002
Dear Happyshrink, Is their any reason why a psychiatrist would prescribe an anti-psychotic drug for someone who isn't psychotic? I suffer from anxiety and have difficulty sleeping at night. Why would a psychiatrist prescribe an anti-psychotic drug for me? I don't hallucinate and I am not paranoid except a little bit because of the medication that my psychiatrist prescribed. What should I do? TJ Dear TJ, The first thing you should do is to share your feelings with your psychiatrist. Your psychiatrist should be able to tell you why you are being prescribed a medication as well as let you know of any side effects. There are instances where medications that are used to treat psychosis can also help someone who is anxious as well as having difficulty sleeping. The important thing though is that you need to feel comfortable asking your psychiatrist anything about your condition as well as anything about the meds you are being prescribed. A good psychiatrist will explain everything to you in a clear and understandable way. If you have a psychiatrist that won't do that for you, get one who will. happy(consumeradvocate)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, I had to bail JeWitch out of jail yesterday. She wrote a letter to the FAA that wound up with the FBI at her door and a "little trip downtown." I was minding my own business just looking out the window and I saw her start to wave frantically at me as she was getting "cuffed and stuffed." Lucky I was watching or I might have missed her desperate cries for help. You know what she did? She wrote this letter suggesting a new title for the new federal airport security. Lord, give me some strength for this one. She said, and I quote : " Almost 150 yrs. ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to hire a private investigator - Mr. Alan Pinkerton. He was actually the beginning of the Secret Service. Since that time federal police authority has grown to a large number of three-letter agencies - FBI, CIA, INS, IRS, DEA, OSS, ATF, etc. Now I propose another agency: The "Federal Air Transportation Airport Security Service." Now I can envision this new service, with their brand spanking new black outfits and their initials across their backs so there will be no mistake of who they are. "F.A.T.A.S.S." You need to talk to her. Bail was $5000. Gilbert had to put up as collateral his "Graceland in Velvet" picture as well as our autographed guitar from Buck Owens as collateral. She better not leave town until the hearing. Mildred Thigpen Dear Mildred, I can't believe that the FBI would arrest poor JeWitch for something so trivial as a silly suggestion. I am going to write the International Department of Independent Operations and Technology Strategists. They will find a way to get JeWitch out of the mess she's in. After all, If I.D.I.O.T.S. can't do something about this incredible injustice, who can? happy(feelingmoreandmorelikeanIDIOT)shrink
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