Postings from January 1-15, 2002
Date: January 15, 2002
Dear Happyshrink, My husband and I are going to marriage counseling, and we are supposed to be working on talking to each other and letting each other know when the other one hurts them by what they say. You know the routine. Well, okie-dokie then, during one of our lets try and talk sessions my husband proclaims yet again that he loves me and that he has done all he can do for me. I've heard this a lot and my reaction to it reflects back to mother, but then what doesn't; right? So I tell him that when he tells me he's done all he can I get a little irritated. This angers me actually, and it hurts because to me it's a cop out. This in turn during our TALKING to each other brings a response from him as if I don't love him, that I don't have any faith in him and that I am going to leave him as soon as I get a chance. At least that's how he interprets what I have just expressed. To put it simply his response was the question , "Why do you hate me?" As you can imagine there was a few moments of silence as I tried to figure out why the question was asked, and how to respond to it in such a way that he could not redefine it to imply that yes I did in fact hate him. My response was, "I don't" I thought that to be the safest way out of this bit of confusion. Anyway moving on, somehow we ended up where he was telling me that I am schizophrenic. He came to this conclusion after reading one chapter in a book about DID/MPD (no, slash schizophrenia, but what do I know) and having one of the intake nurses at the psych ward tell him that schizophrenia and DID were the same. I asked if he had talked to my Psychiatrist about my diagnosis, or if he had even asked my therapist who is also our marriage therapist. No of course he hadn't, he knew all he needed to, remember he has done all he can. So, I told him I would ask the big question, since coming from me, (the insane one of the family) any answer is null and void. OK here it is:
beforetheyclaimtoknowwhatit'sallabout) Dear Methos, I think you know a lot of the answers to these questions, but I will answer them just the same. DID/MPD is not schizophrenia. The nurse in the hospital that told your husband that is either totally ignorant about both diagnoses or was misinterpreted by your husband. There is a common misconception though that they are related. The first part of the word "schizo" which is also sometimes used as a shortened term for "nuts" (pronounced skitzo) is similar to the word schism which means split. Many people believe that schizophrenics have "split personalities." They don't and schizophrenics do not commonly suffer from DID/MPD (Dissociative Identity Disorder/Multiple Personality Disorder). In DID/MPD two or more personalities develop in a single mind as a result of trauma or severely dysfunctional family life. The additional personalities are created to cope with all the dangers that the individual encounters but whose "primary" personality is not able to cope with. Schizophrenia is actually a group of disorders that are tied together by the fact that the person is either, delusional, hallucinates (visual or auditory), and/or is significantly disconnected with their environment. Schizophrenia can be either acute or chronic. It's onset is most commonly in late adolescence or early adulthood but can occur at other times as well. There may be some similarities in symptoms between schizophrenia and DID/MPD and some of the medications used to treat both conditions are similar but they are clearly different disorders. Here are some questions you might want to ask your husband in marriage counseling: What does it mean when you say you have done all that you could for me? What specifically have you done for me that's unique to our situation? Does me being mentally ill make us unequal partners? Does the fact that I suffer from a mental illness mean that you are right all of the time and I am wrong all of the time. Is it possible that you are wrong sometimes? How do you think it makes me feel when you tell me that I'm schizophrenic? You say I'm going to leave you as soon as I get the chance. How would that affect you if it did happen? Is it possible you would be better off without a woman with so many problems? Why would it be so bad for you if I were to leave you? How would you describe your own mental health? What are your emotional strengths and weaknesses? Perhaps some of these questions can help him to look at himself rather than always look at you. You are a very convenient scapegoat for all the problems the two of you have to deal with. If the two of you are going to make it as husband and wife, a lot of dynamics have to change. Lastly Methos, I'm glad you are angry. It's not always easy for you to get angry and verbalize it in such a clear way. Maybe it's a sign of you integrating your personalities. I hope so. What do you think? happy(thinksthismarriagecounselingisagoodthing)shrink
Dear Happy, I call this picture .. "Why to NOT buy kids markers for Christmas.... " Or better yet... "Why to NOT have kids."
JeWitch Dear JeWitch, It looks like Gind's little Harley is getting "The Earl's" good looks. happy(letsfindtheparentthattookthispictureandlockthemup)shrink
Date: January 14, 2002
Dear Happyshrink, I am 24 years old and have been married for two years. I don't think I was really in love with my wife when I got married. Everything seemed to happen so fast and I felt like I couldn't back out of it. After two years I am still not in love with my wife although I care for her very much. She's now talking about having children and I really don't want to. I know that I need to end the marriage but I am worried about hurting her. What should I do? Lost Dear Lost, Telling her that you want out of the marriage will hurt her no matter how nicely you phrase it. But the longer you avoid dealing with it, the more it will hurt your wife down the road. If you have children, that's another complication that will make it even tougher and will hurt more people than just you and your wife. It was inaction that got you into this situation. Don't let it continue to do damage. You need to tell your wife how you feel as soon as possible and begin the process of moving on with your lives. You are both young and can recover from this unfortunate situation but the longer you wait, the tougher it will be. You didn't do the right thing by getting married Lost. Do the right thing now even though it will hurt someone you care about. Good luck and let me know how things work out.
Dear Happyshrink, Suppose this is as good as it gets? Judiblueye Dear Judiblueye, If that's the case Judi, its time for me to sell my Enron stock. The pessimist thinks that this is as bad as life gets. The optimist knows it can be so much worse! happy(asgoodashegets)shrink
Date: January 13, 2002
Dear Happyshrink, I'm scared there's something wrong with me, like ADD or something. I'm 15 years old, and I can never concentrate at school and I always forget what I'm doing because I'm thinking about something else. I'm really unorganized, and my teachers always say that I'm "not living up to my potential." Whenever I'm in my room or something I have to have the door shut, and I keep checking that it's still shut even though I know I would hear if it opened. Also, If I have something in my pocket, I keep checking that it's still there even when there's no way it could have got out. Anyway, yeah, do you think there's something wrong with me? Thanks, Someone who wishes to remain anonymous. Dear anonymous, I really can't make a determination if there is something wrong with you based on the information you have giving me. Usually, kids who suffer from ADD are diagnosed when they are in grade school but sometimes someone could slip though the cracks. If you are really worried about that, I would speak to a guidance counselor at school. The guidance counselor could review your school records and determine if testing is warranted. That would be the way to find out if you might have ADD. As far as worrying about your door being shut or if the stuff in your pocket is still there, that could be a number of things. Having privacy and making sure your door is shut is common to most teenagers. The degree to how much you worry about it would determine if its just a phase you are going through or its a problem. The worrying about the stuff in your pocket could be a sign of some insecurity but here again its a common thing that most people do. (happyshrinks included) This is just a guess on my part anonymous, but I would say that there is not a whole lot wrong with you. If there are things that are bothering you, it would be a good idea to speak with a counselor. You might want to discuss this with your parents and your teachers. This is not the time you want to underachieve in school and perhaps just a little help can enable you to get better grades and feel better about yourself. Good luck anonymous and let me know how things work out. happy(fromalonglineofunderachievers)shrink
Mr. "Happy" Shrink, I have two questions for you: As I read your page today (like I do everyday, come hell or high water) I wondered if the people that write you about this or that problem, and you answer with "let me know how it goes" ever take the time to let actually let you know how they made out .. After all .. somedays I see you actually put some great thought into your answers, research even perhaps. I even wonder if during the few days to a week lag between question and answer, if they even come back to read what you have to say. Or do they just use this "happyshrink" website to blow off some steam, cry on someone's shoulder and are never heard from again. I see some returns to the website, but not enough. I really want to read what the out come is .. if they took your advice .. I mean, why else would I be reading these emotionally crippled people's letters, day after day, month after month .. year after year ... if not to hear "how it goes." ?? In addition to that question, another question would be: Why even bother with those STUPID REDNECKS that write you all the time with their crappy grammar .. Telling tales that reveal their trailer park lifestyle and "ednaquette." Why on earth is the government giving financial aid and food stamps to these "trashlings" ?? I mean, they are able to afford a computer and Internet access and yet they can't afford to buy medicine to rid their filthy little kids of head lice ?? PUHLEASE .... Trailer trash make me SICK !! Then there is that HATEFUL WENCH that calls herself JeWitch. Talk about one horrible and angry human being .. No wonder she hides under a nick name, I am sure that there are many who love nothing better than to give her a piece of their mind. Why that letter from a few days ago .. about New Years Eve .. Don't you know where the delete key is on your keyboard ?? She obviously never learns anything from her weekly therapy with you .. CALM BLUE OCEAN MY A$$. Furthermore ... you made a remark in your answer about the people not showing up for group much lately .. ever think that maybe it is JeWitch they are trying to duck .. Why not just ban her from your chatroom and be done with her. I bet you would get a crowd to come in and celebrate ... Something like the celebration there would be if they brought Jokie back to the Howard Stern show. Someday I will write you with some of my own problems .. maybe something about my (no closet can hold me) gay son (not quite a teen.) The daughter who's name doesn't come up when I am when bragging about my kids (son) (he is so darn talented) .. or the old man I married to replace my daddy and how he had the nerve to cheat on me after giving him the best years of his life. Maybe I will write about the ungrateful people, whom I have given jobs to in my garment business. How I am so good to them but none of them respect me or even sent me a Xmas card. Or how much of a BETTER PERSON I have become after finding Jesus. But instead of people telling me how good I am .... they call me a "self hating Jew." OOOPS .. gotta run .. my soap opera is on. K. L. G. Dear KLG, In response to your first question, many people don't write me back. I can't really tell you why they don't but I have a few theories. I put people who don't write me back in three categories. I think some of the people actually use the web page as a means to write their problems down on paper. After writing to me they feel much better and don't even need me to answer their questions. Like many therapists, I am a tool for reflection and introspection. Then there is the group of individuals who read my answers and know in their hearts that they should follow my suggestions but they are just not ready to take the leap. They feel somewhat embarrassed and ashamed that they are still floundering and are reluctant to write me just to let me know that they have done nothing and their lives are still miserable. Then there is the third and final group who have read my responses, taken actions that have improved their lives and never write me again for so much as a thank you. These selfish bastards don't even realize that you and other avid readers of the Ask Happyshrink Web Page are actually interested in their miserable mundane lives. After all, how many hours a day can you watch Jerry Springer? Now for your second question. Those trailer trash that are writing to me on the Internet are spending less time having babies and getting drunk. During the five years I have know Edna, she has only had 2 kids compared with 7 kids the previous five years. I have probably saved the Florida State Department of Human Services over a million bucks during that time, but do I get one letter of thank you from them? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! And JeWitch you ask? Do you know she has not murdered one ex-husband or boyfriend since I have known her. She hasn't even gone berserk in a single department store. Aside from blowing up a few automobiles and setting a few of her colleagues at work on fire during her efforts to quit smoking, she has actually been a modal citizen (OK maybe not of the US but of Afghanistan maybe) Do I get any thanks from any of Florida's 197 law enforcement agencies? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! So if you think you have reason to complain because of your two loser kids and the ungrateful bastards in your life, just put a lid on it because I am sick of all you whiney people who have nothing better to do but complain, complain, complain. And you say you found Jesus? Why do you think he was hiding from you in the first place? Because your a disgusting, bitter, jealous, angry A$$hole. Do Jesus a favor and worship Satan. Love, Happy(Ifeelbetternow)shrink
Date: January 12, 2002
Dear Happyshrink, I have been married 3 years. I have two unbelievable daughters 3 and 1 years old. I cant stop thinking what's the point in my life I should be happy but I feel that everyday is pointless, my life feels like a waste of time and I just can't seem to collect my thoughts on anything anymore. I used to think about suicide everyday when I was younger in fact ever since I can remember, even when I have been happy. These thoughts went when my first daughter was born, they have come back and I don't know why because I know I never would. I love my family so much I feel I cant cope with it and the fear and pain I feel when I think of anything happening to them, I cant stop thinking about dying and leaving them and it makes me feel so hollow in torment. I also can't seem to cope with the whole life death, reasons we're here, something that never used to bother my thoughts ever. I feel I am haunting my own life. Why?? I feel I should be happy and motivated but something stops my head in it's tracks but what I really don't know. I have no reason. In a corner Dear In a corner, Given the information that you have shared here, I would say that there is a good chance that you are suffering from clinical depression. This can happen as a result of problems you are encountering in your life, or it can be due to a chemical imbalance. You indicate early memories of suicidal thoughts and that tells me that depression or another psychiatric condition has been with you for some time. Right now your suicidal thoughts are not driving you to actions and that's good. However, depression as well as other mental illnesses can get worse if left untreated. It is very important that you get help now In a corner. I always recommend to anyone who seems to be suffering from anxiety or depression to get a medical exam to rule out a physical problem. In your case I would also suggest you see your family physician, but I would also urge you to make an appointment with a psychiatrist as soon as possible. As you say in your letter, you should feel happy and motivated. Please get the help you need in a corner so you can enjoy your unbelievable daughters and see your life as having purpose. Please contact me again and let me know how you make out. happy(alwayssearchingforpurpose)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, This is really scaring me...because I have in the past done just what Jewitch suggested in her letter today: mailed junk mail to the junk-mail originators in their prepaid envelopes. I even added the wadded up envelopes the mail came in plus whatever pocket lint or candy bar wrappers I had on hand. What do you suppose this means? Am I a genius, or am I sicker than I previously thought? I have also been known to quietly set the phone down and let the telemarketers recite their scripts to the dustbunnies under my bed. Sincerely, Judi(returntosender)blueye Dear Judiblueye, I think is means that you are in fact a genius as well as being sicker than you previously thought. Hey, it works for JeWitch and it worked for Joan of Arc too. happy(depravediswhatdepraveddoes..that'swhatmommaalwaysaid)shrink
Date: January 11, 2002
Dear Happyshrink, I have been really depressed over the past month. I have moved away from home to another part of the country and this was my first Christmas away from my family and friends. The holidays really depressed me but that was to be expected. But now that the holidays are over, why am I still depressed. I thought the "holiday blues" are supposed to end after the holidays. Any input or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. SB (Still Blue) Dear SB, Depression isn't something that you can turn on and off with a switch. Just because the holidays are over doesn't mean that your sad feelings disappear. It can sometimes take a lot more time than 2 weeks to get over the holiday blues. Besides, some of the issues that were making you depressed still exist. It is very important to make a distinction between the "holiday blues" which is depression that is associated with holiday season and depression that just happens to occur during the holiday season. It sounds to me that you have 12 months a year issues about being away from home and missing your loved ones. Perhaps this move isn't what you thought it would be like. If this is the case, you might want to talk to a counselor or psychotherapist. There could also be other issues going on in your life that you haven't mentioned. If you want to wait awhile to see if your depression goes away by itself, that is one option, but I would suggest you seek some help now. There's no point suffering longer than you have to. If you are dealing with some sort of clinical depression that is more than the "holiday blues," you will eventually have to deal with it anyway. Find out what's wrong SB and get the help you need to make it better. Please let me know how you do. happy(gotthedietingblues)shrink
Dear Happy, I have had it with spam, internet spam as well and the crap that fills my mailbox each day. Regarding that "unsolicited spam snail mail" with a no postage necessary return envelope...send them something back. Since they are paying the postage we can make them pay for their spam TWICE. For example get a "pre-approved" credit card application....send them a pizza coupon. Send American express a advertisement for a free cell phone. Send Discover a 0% interest for 6 months credit card. Let these companies decide what to do with the trash we send back, let them throw it away or recycle, hey ya never know they might take that 0% interest rate credit card and apply for the cell phone and order a pizza... Just make sure you remove any names, addresses, reference to you, or any of the "code" numbers listed on the flyer if you send one bank's solicitation to another bank. This is the only way to FIGHT BACK !! Please join in the fight against snail male spam. JeWitch Dear JeWitch, Are you feeling a little over weight after the holidays? Breakthrough technology helps you **Lose INCHES NOW**, Tighten Your Skin, Cleanses and Detoxifies Your System. Shave off 8-10 INCHES OF BODY FAT IN ONE HOUR *Guaranteed*! European style fat removal system has helped thousands to look and feel better! happy(justreturnedoneofmyspanemails)shrink
Date: January 10, 2002
Dear Happyshrink, I have a friend who's son is 23 years old and extremely unmotivated. He had learning disabilities and was in special education classes in school before he dropped out at age 17. He has had numerous jobs but none of which have been able to last for more than a week or so. Either he quits because the work is too hard or boring, or he's fired. In the last year or so, he hasn't even tried to find a job. I finally convinced my friend to have him evaluated at a mental health clinic as I thought that he appears troubled and depressed. The psychiatrist put him a Risperdal. Can you tell me if this medication can help someone like I described? DF Dear DF, Risperdal is an anti-psychotic medication that is used to treat schizophrenia and other psychotic disorders. If in fact he has such a condition, it is not surprising that he has had so much trouble in school and in trying to find a job as well. I would urge your friend to talk with the psychiatrist more about his diagnosis. If it is a severe and persistent mental illness, your friends son would be eligible for SSI disability as well as day treatment services or vocational rehabilitation training programs. All too often people that suffer from severe mental illness appear to be unmotivated and lazy. As a result they are not looked at as being sick but being the cause of their own problems. I would strongly suggest that your friend meet with the social service staff of the clinic to find out what resources are available. Please let me know what happens. happy(onlyasmallresourcethat'savailable)shrink
Dear Happy, I need some device quick like. Jewitch's 5th or 6th husband, Cletus, be commin' to town an' Thelma has in invited him to the Circle K Park for our Sunday picnic. Now at first look, that don't sound like nothin', but when him an' Jewitch was livin' in Mississippi and she wanted shut o' him, she told the judge she turned gay and needed a divorce. Now I don't like lying under any circumstances, but Jewitch asked me to tell Cletus we was partners. First off, Judge Judy said she was goin' to the Circle K right on TV. Sure nuff she'll show up and throw us in jail for lying in court. Second off, who's gonna believe Jewitch be my partner in the Muslin terrorist pot belly pig prevention business? Third off, there ain't a person in the world that would believe JeWitch was gay. Hell, she never even smiled, let alone be happy. My question is, how do I keep Jewitch outta jail and not risk an ass whoopin' by telling her no? Gind Rinker Dear Gind, Why tell her no? Considering all the men at the Circle K Trailer park, being gay might be down right refreshing. Now JeWitch might not be the most compatible partner but compared to Earl, Bubba, Snake and DUI, she's a gem. Think about it Gind. happy(tryityou'lllikeit)shrink
Date: January 9, 2002 HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY TANGHIGH!
Dear Happyshrink, I found your website and began to wonder, why can I be happy too? I have been very sad for a long time. I don't really know why but I really wish I was happy like you. Is there anything you can recommend? DB Dear DB, It is quite possible that you are suffering from clinical depression or another mental health disorder. If that is the case, it can be treated and you can become happy. I suggest that you see your family physician first and get a full physical exam to rule out any medical problems that might be causing your sadness. If you are free of any medical problems, I would ask your physician to refer you to a psychiatrist to be evaluated for depression and other disorders. Among the treatment options would be medication and psychotherapy. Many people carry the burden of sadness and depression without thinking that they can overcome it. Don't suffer any longer DB. Please get the help you need now and let me know how things work out. happy(mostofthetime)shrink
Dear Happy ... Every year about this time, I send you my New Years resolutions .. or share with you and your readers all the wonderful things I have learned by coming to your group once a week.
Day: Tuesday Time: 8:30 PM IRC Server: Dalnet Channel: #askhappyshrink One year ... I guess it was maybe January 1998 .. I shared with your website that when I am stressed, your group taught to relax by repeating this chant ... a calm blue ocean. ... A CALM BLUE OCEAN .... A CALM BLUE OCEAN ... A CALM BLUE OCEAN DAMMIT !!
Then there was the year, January 2000 I think, that I tried to put to use your "Stress Reduction Techniques." You said .. TRY MEDITATION, JeWitch. That's how I came up with this one ... thanks to you and my friends in your Tuesday night chat/group therapy.
So here it is .. January 2002 .... And I am finished worrying about worrying .. I am tired of trying new ways of stress reduction and relaxation .. It just makes me MORE STRESSED ... Instead .. this year I am going to concentrate on STAYING STRESSED .. and this is what I learned to help me from your Tuesday night chat. You too will have no trouble staying
stressed if you practice the following clinically proven methods: So .. there ya have it As for the New Year resolutions thing ... Let me just say that I am going to continue last years resolution to "NEVER EVER EVER drive home from the bar after a night of heavy drinking without FIRST washing off that hand stamp the bouncer fouls your hand with after paying the door charge. That hideous black smudge on the top of your hand that serves as a free pass back into the bar. That nasty looking stamp that allows you to make hourly trips to your car for a quick line or two of coke .... just flash it at the bouncer and pass right through the line of people showing their ID . Don't worry about the ones you can only see under a black light .. I am talking about the DEAD GIVE AWAY ONE'S. The one that no matter how straight you try to act, a cop can spot it as he is still sitting in his car and calling for backup ... just before arresting you for DUI ..) ( or so I have heard.) JeWitch PS .. Also included in my resolution is to cut off those hospital-looking-plastic-bracelets some of the higher class clubs slap on your wrist after paying the door charge .. the ones a cop can spot as he comes barreling down the highway doing 110 MPH on the other side of the median ... on a dimly lit highway ... at 3 in the morning .... as you are flip your cigarette butt out the window. I will NEVER FORGET to cut them off my wrist again ... Dear JeWitch, I never realized that my Tuesday night groups had such a profound effect on you. Between your and Reverend Al's advice, I wouldn't be surprised if some of my regular chat people are now in mental institutions. Maybe that's why fewer and fewer people are showing up at the group. happy(willshowuptherenextTuesday)shrink
Date: January 8, 2002
Dear Happyshrink, I am a 28 year-old woman. After giving birth, I have recently been diagnosed with clinical depression and am taking Prozac 30 mg a day. I have been taking this medicine for 6 months now and things seem to be going well except in the bedroom. I used to be very interested in having sex with my husband and we enjoyed our time together at least twice a week. This is our second child and even after the birth of our first child 4 years ago we found time to be close to each other. While it's true that we are somewhat sleep deprived as our son is only 7 months old, it seems to be something more than that. I don't feel that our relationship has changed - we have a very good relationship and my husband was very supportive when I thought I needed to be seen for the depression after our son was born. The only thing that is different is the medication. The psychiatrist didn't think that I would need to stay on the medicine for the rest of my life but did want me to be on it for about a year. She said that there was a time for the medicine to be the most effective and that then we would start to cut back. Also the baby will be a little older and it may be a little less stressful. It's not that I don't want to have sex on an intellectual level - I do. My body has other ideas though. I just feel that I don't become aroused and when we do try things just don't happen the way they used to. Is this a side effect of the medicine? I see my psychiatrist at the end of the month and would really like to stop taking this medicine if it is the cause of all this. Any information that you can give me would be helpful. Thanks. DS Dear DS, One of the side effects of Prozac and a number of other anti-depressants is difficulty with becoming sexually aroused or the loss of sexual desire. I would speak to your psychiatrist again and let her know that this is a very important issue for you. Perhaps you are at a point where the dosage can be reduced or another medication can be considered. The loss of sexual intimacy between you and your husband can increase your depression and possibly prolong it. Make sure your psychiatrist knows how important this issue is with regard to your emotional well being. If your psychiatrist insists that you should continue with Prozac, you can try and ride it out for another few months or get a second opinion. This is not an easy call DS and changing meds can be tricky. The most important thing is that you and your psychiatrist look at all the options and consider what is best in the long run. Good luck and let me know what happens. happy(tootiredtodayforalongrun)shrink
Happyshrink, I am passing this
on to you. It is definitely working for me. I think I have found inner
peace. I read an article that said the way to achieve inner peace
is to finish things I had started. JeWitch Dear JeWitch, That was MY box of chocolate candy! happy(ratbastard)shrink
Date: January 7, 2002
Hello Happy, My name is RM and I'm a 35 yr, old divorcee. Since my marriage came to a sudden but yet a painful halt I have believed myself to be a donkey/slug like creature. Is this normal??? RM Dear RM, It is very common to feel like a donkey/slug like creature after the failure of a marriage. For many people the expectation when they got married was that it was going to be forever. The loss of a life mate as well as the identity of being a husband or wife is a very devastating blow. It's not all that different from getting fired from a job you have been at for a long time except getting fired from a marriage can be much more intense. No matter what the circumstance of your divorce, it is hard not to feel like a total failure in one of life's basic roles. You didn't ask this question RM but the logical follow-up is, "How do I start feeling like my old self again?" Time is one of the great healers and over time you will feel more and more "normal." In addition, you should try to occupy yourself with social activities. I'm not talking about dating. That might just make you feel more like a slug. I'm talking about doing things with friends as well as cultivating new and old interests. You can take adult courses, go on trips, join clubs and organizations, etc. There is life after divorce RM and the only way to find a life is to live it. Good luck and feel free to write me again. happy(livingproofoflifeafterdivorce)shrink
Happy, NEWS FLASH: "In an apparent copycat terrorist attack, two men from the No-Name Trailer Park identified as, Bubba Lamont and Earl Bin-Ladinski, have hijacked a Goodyear blimp. So far in their wanton binge of terror, they have bounced off 5 doublewides ......" The story continues with jail time etc ... ... but it isn't worth repeating !!! It's just another Happy New Year's in Orlando ... JeWitch Dear JeWitch, The nice folks at Goodyear have asked me to report that it wasn't a Goodyear blimp that was hijacked. The security force at the Goodyear blimp hangars are well equipped to thwart the most sophisticated of terrorists. But Orville LeRue of LeRue's Used Pick-ups did report the theft of a 30 foot helium balloon that was attached to his showroom roof to advertise an "End of the Year Sale." The picture of Godzilla on the Balloon did match the debris found off Interstate 20. Mr. LeRue is willing to drop all charges (including the corrosive damage incurred by certain individuals urinating in his roof gutters) if the balloon is replaced. (Doesn't need to be a picture of Godzilla either. King Kong or Mighty Joe Young will work for him too). I just hope that the money in little Harley's college fund is still there. happy(hopesforpeaceandquitein2002)shrink
Date: January 6, 2002
Dear Happy, 2002!! Wow, hard to believe!! Thanks for all your advice in 2001. I had a really rough time over the holidays. My OCD seems to get worse with stress. Having things touched, moved, me being touched! It was a difficult time. I am glad it is over. Along with the end of the holidays came the end to my overwhelming feeling of depression. I don't know if I told you, but my mom did not even talk to me on Christmas! How RUDE!! Anyway I talked to my dad. I am missing him a lot and planning a trip in March to go see him. I made it through my first holiday without them and I have all year to plan for the next. ocdnet(gladtheholidaysareover)angel Dear ocdnetangel, You didn't tell me specifically that your mother didn't talk to you on Christmas but you did speak of her "coldness" and how sad that made you feel. Your sense of her being rude is a good sign that you are over your depression. Yes that was rude and is indicative of a very narcissistic self absorbed individual. The conditions that your mother gives her love is too high a price to pay. I think I have said that to you before but it's worth repeating. The holidays are a very stressful and often a depressing time. Our efforts to please others as well as our own hopes and expectations, create a difficult situation for many.... not to mention the frenzy at shopping malls and the unbelievable traffic jams. So now it's over and we are all hopeful of a productive year ahead. Good luck to you and your family ocdnetangel and have a Happy Healthy New Year. happy(hopingthere'slesstrafficin2002)shrink PS: JeWitch had some advice with regard to your last letter: Happy, Regarding OCDNETANGEL's letter from a few days ago ... "I was diagnosed with fibromyalsia and about three weeks ago I got in a auto accident. My back, legs, arms, neck etc having been hurting since. I have been getting a headache everyday which is depressing!! I just don't know what to do!! Any advice? " SUE ... SUE .... SUE .... Wish I was so lucky, I haven't had anyone to sue in years .. JeWitch Well, It's JeWitch. What else would you expect in the form of advice?
Dear Happy, Jewitch quit smokin' an' had her email go down on the same day.
Dear Gind, Thank you for only sending a picture of her computer and not sending a picture of her boyfriend. That would really be a gruesome sight. happy(infavorofguncontrol)shrink
Date: January 5, 2002
Wassup Happyshrink? I'll get right to the point: How do I deal with stress and depression? I could really use some help here. Pleasssssse answer! I'm getting more stressed every passing day although I shouldn't (I'm a gymnasium student), and I've got the blues. I'm really sad and depressed, but for no particular reason). Please help. Anonymous P.S. Pardon the grammar mistakes Dear Anonymous, Actually, they were mostly spelling mistakes but I corrected them for you as I do for all of the letters I receive. Your depression could be a result of a medical problem, a chemical imbalance or something going on in your life that is really bothering you. The fact that you don't see the reason why you are depressed doesn't mean that there isn't a problem in your life. The mind has ways of repressing thoughts and feelings so that the issues causing your depression could be hidden. Since I don't really know you or your situation, I can't say for sure what is the root of your depression but I can give you some advice on how to find out. I suggest you make an appointment to see your family doctor and get a complete physical work up to rule out a medical problem. If there is no medical problem, you should then be evaluated by a psychiatrist (preferably one who works with adolescents) to determine if you suffer from clinical depression. Treatment could be either counseling, medication or a combination of both. Adolescence and young adulthood doesn't seem like it should be a stressful time but more often than not it is Anonymous. Get the help you need now so that you can enjoy this time of you life and use it productively. Good luck and let me what happens. happy(tryingtoenjoylifeandbeproductiveatthesametime...whew!)shrink
Happy, Can you believe it ??? Monica Lewinski turned 28 this week. It seems like only yesterday she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees. JeWitch Dear JeWitch, Kinda makes we wanna pass out cigars. Know what I mean? happy(doesn'tsmokecigarsifthat'swhatyou'rethinking)shrink
Date: January 4, 2002
Happyshrink, Bf checking in. Boy the Horns won
that one by the hair of their chinny chin chin. Glad for the
Major...senior year and all. Christmas Day went well. My son
and granddaughter came over and we had a nice visit.... only did the
wife's name come up in general conversation when he was referring to
something in general. He was "himself" and not afraid to
"show" emotion. I have talked to him once since Christmas.
I called to tell him my best friend's house burned...no one
hurt...but left it on the answering machine. This lady is like a second
mother to him so when I did not hear back (they live in Dallas as well) I
called him at home. He said his wife told him he had a message but not who
it was from and he would go play it and seemed upset that she hadn't told
him I left a message about this lady's house burning. He just said
he would talk to me later...loved me etc. I haven't heard from him
and will wait for him to call or e-mail....it is hard but that is what I
have to do. My husband asked if he got his e-mails about the Texas
Game and he just sorta blushed and said he hadn't been on the
computer...we knew as well as he that the messages had been deleted.
He obviously doesn't want to rock the boat with this wife, but we
all know he is embarrassed and frustrated and being made a fool of...but
he obviously hasn't had enough for them to get counseling so she can
accept his family once or twice a year and not feel threatened that we
like to talk about things she doesn't like...like TEXAS.......frustrated
but know he and my granddaughter care. Dear BF, Things seem certainly better now than before Thanksgiving. While it is still frustrating at times, you can communicate with your son and know that he still loves you and your husband. It may take time but one way or another, things will work themselves out. I wish you and your whole family a very Happy New Year BF. Good luck to the University of Texas too. happy(notfromTexasbutwillalwaysremembertheAlamo)shrink
Dear Friends, This perfectly delightful note is being sent on a computer I made myself to tell you what I have been up to. Since it snowed last night, I got up early and made a sled with old barn wood and a glue gun. I hand painted it in gold leaf, got out my loom, and made a blanket in peaches and mauves. Then to make the sled complete, I made a white horse to pull it from some DNA that I just had sitting around in my craft room. Then, it was time to start making the place mats and napkins for my 20 breakfast guests. I'm serving the old standard twelve-course breakfast, but I'll let you in on a little secret: I didn't have time to make the table and chairs this morning, so I used the ones I had on hand. Before I moved the table into the dining room, I decided to add just a touch of the holidays. So I painted the room in pinks and stenciled gold stars on the ceiling. Then, while the homemade bread was rising, I took antique candle molds and made the dishes (exactly the same shade of pink) to use for breakfast. These were made from Hungarian clay, which you can get in almost any Hungarian craft store. Well, I must run. I need to finish the buttonholes on the dress I'm wearing for breakfast. I'll get out the sled and drive this note to the post office as soon as the glue dries on the envelope I'll be making. Hope my breakfast guests don't stay too long - I have 40,000 cranberries to string with bay leaves before my speaking engagement at noon. Diane (AKA JeWitch) Dear Whoeveryouare, What have you done to JeWitch? What kind of sadistic joke are you playing? I'm calling the Orlando Florida Police you evil demon! happy(didn'trealizethatMarthaStewartwascontageous)shrink
Date: January 3, 2002
Dear Happy, I am at a complete loss right now about what to do with my whole life. I have been suffering for many years from depression and I suppose that it has made me not the best employee in the world. Yesterday, I went into work and out of the blue my boss called me into his office. He said that my work has been very poor and that there have been several complaints about my work from his clients. He fired me. I wasn't told about this, or warned, or anything. Just fired. Yesterday was also the beginning of the payroll period for our company and so I will not be getting another paycheck. He just handed me some cash and told me to hit the bricks. I went home and got into bed. This is the first time that I have been out of bed at all. I found your website while I was looking at some other things on the web about mental health. In a way, I know that this is my fault. But in a way I can't do anything about it right now. I think about trying to find another job and I just want to go back to bed. I would appreciate it if you could help me to find a website where I can find some help. I don't even think that I have enough energy to find anyone to talk with in person. Blues Brother Dear Blues Brother, Losing a job is one of the most humiliating experiences we face in our lives. Sometimes it is our fault, other times it isn't and still other times its a combination of things. When you suffer from depression, you are likely to put more blame on yourself and if I had to guess, this is what you are doing. Even if your job performance was poor, you boss had a responsibility to inform you of the specific problems and give you a reasonable time to correct them. In any event, that issue doesn't solve your current problem and that is getting out of bed. If you are in fact suffering from clinical depression, you need to see someone right away while you still have health insurance. You can also extend your health insurance for up to 18 months if you are dismissed or leave a job. It may be costly, but if it enables you to get some help it's worth it. I would get a referral as soon as possible from your family physician to see a psychiatrist. There are medications out there that can help you function better and you need that now more than ever. You also need to file for unemployment insurance so that you have some form of income. I think if you are able to accomplish the two tasks of filing for unemployment and seeing a psychiatrist you will feel a lot better and may even be able to start looking for a job. Take one step at a time Blues Brother, but get the help you need now. Every day you delay is costing you more money and more time. Good luck and let me know how you are doing. happy(takingonestepatatime)shrink
Happyshrink, THE MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES OF REVEREND AL (For what is a cybersoap without one of these?) Long before Reverend Al became the minister of the Circle K Baptist Church and long before he ever made a habit of criticizing the moral conduct of others and pointing the finger of condemnation and hurling "judgmentalisms" like Frisbees from Heaven at everyone else, he, himself had a couple of earthly vices. Okay, scratch that, he had A LOT of earthly vices. He was addicted to gambling, fetishes, chocolate, alcohol, barbiturates, cigarettes, amphetamines, pornography, overeating, television, video games, Dungeons and Dragons, sadomasochism, coffee, kool-aid, chewing gum, Pepsi, pinball and lingerie. Given all his weaknesses, he had two choices: 1) Attend self-help meetings every waking moment of his life, or 2) Enter the ministry. So, as it was, Reverend Al got clean and sober AND got his calling in 1981. But now that he’s pure and perfect, what happened to that other self--that self who used to like to play poker for Hershey bars until three in the morning or do shots of vodka while thumbing through the latest issue of "Hustler" or stay up for four days straight drinking Folgers and playing Pac Man? Whatever happened to that person? Well, the answer is, that he is still very much about--and his name is just plain Al. Al is a party animal with an unparalleled sexual appetite and a lust for all that is forbidden. And very, very soon, he will be making the scene in Orlando. (And of course, for the purpose of pulling off this set-up, no one in town will recognize this alter ego as Reverend Al and Reverend Al himself will have no idea that he is showing his inner beastly self.) Stay tuned... JeWitch .. (
ok, feeling a little strange myself today ) Dear JeWitch, I had know idea about Reverend Al's secret life. Sure he would borrow my old issues of National Geographic every once in a while and he would occasionally put extra sweet and low in his coffee, but I had no idea he was given to such worldly vices. Well next time I see him I have three words to say to him, SUPER BOWL PARTY! happy(justwaittillhetastesmy12alarmchili)shrink
Date: January 2, 2002
Dear Happyshrink, I am a 15 year old who will be continuing my sophomore year in high school. Lately I have become very upset about the thought of going back to school after Christmas break.. I have friends and am on a couple of the teams. I lie awake at night thinking about school a lot and I think about school a lot during the day also. I am not sure what to do about this because I have never felt like this before. I did not want to tell my parents because I thought they would think I was just being silly. But the more I think about it, the less I want to go back to school in January. Why am I having thes feelings and what do you think I should do? High School Sophomore Dear High School Sophomore, I am sure that most of your friends are not looking forward to going back to school either but it sounds like your reaction is much more severe than the usual. Your telling me that you have friends and are on a couple of teams indicates to me that don't understand why this could be happening when everything seems to be going well. Perhaps most things are going well but maybe there is a problem you haven't thought about. Is there something going on in school that is making you are feel conflicted? Do you have assignments or classes that is causing you to feel anxious? Are there any teachers or classmates that you are having a problem with and don't want to face? Are your parents putting pressure on you to improve your grades. If you answered yes to any of these questions, that might be the reason why you feel the way you do. Whether you answered yes or no to any of these questions, maybe you should speak to your parents or talk to a school guidance counselor when you return to school. School phobias can spring up for no apparent reason High School Sophomore. Perhaps once you return to school, the problem will disappear, but if it doesn't ask for help from your family and from the school. The quicker you do that, the quicker you will get over this problem. Good luck and let me know how things go when you get back to school. happy(doesn'twanttogotoworktodaybutwilldoitanyway)shrink
Happyshrink, I had one of the worst hangover’s ever this morning when I was putting this f-king Ferris Wheel together. When I got done, I had about a dozen f--king bolts left over. I’m pretty sure the thing will stay together though, provided we don’t get no strong f--king winds or no really fat ass people get on the ride. Oh, but really, who gives a f--k? I’ve been with the Brothers 12 Carnival Company 15 years now, I started out in a concession stand until I got me a bad case of "cotton candy arm". I tried to get on disability, but I got laughed out of the claims office. F-- kers!! "Cotton candy arm", carpal tunnel syndrome--what the hell’s the difference?? So I got transferred to barker--you know, I ran one of those gyp games--Hit The Balloon With The Dart. When I took the job, nobody told me how far off some of these f--king contestants can aim. I took three darts in the head before I said "To hell with it!" From there, I got assigned as Ferris Wheel Operator Trainee. "Trainee" my ass. The guy who was training me was having an affair with the Two-headed Woman and they were always off somewhere making out so I trained myself. I flung a couple of people in fourth gear and then I got it right--no big f--king deal. But, don’t get me wrong-- carnival life isn’t all bad. We got us a hell of a dental plan. For every sixth tooth we let rot out of our heads, we get us a gold one. And, traveling from town to town, I get to meet a lot of women. They’re all fat and ugly and no one else in their own towns will have them but they think they’re good enough for the carnies. Oh, whatever... I’m taking a break after this last batch of peachy-faced, grinny-assed kids gets off the ride. I have to go cut the gum out of my hair that some f--ker spit on me while he was way up on top of the ride. But, it’s better than getting pissed on, I suppose. And believe me, that’s happened too. Enis Hoppenstetter ( Related SOMEHOW to Edna ) ( Cousin or Uncle --- can't remember or figure it out.) ( I think I might be kin to JeWitch too ... people tell me I sound like her. ) Dear Enis, It's really nice hearing from you. I think you are both Edna's cousin and uncle from what I remember. It's nice to see that there is a hard working Hoppenstetter who isn't living off Public Assistance and who actually has teeth in his mouth (gold or otherwise). My only suggestion to you is that New Years Day is never a good time for a Hoppenstetter to put together a Ferris Wheel. Maybe you should try feeding the three headed cow or cleaning out the cage of the amazing snake boy. So who puts together the roller coaster? happy(andwhatkindofmeatdotheyputinthosesausages?)shrink
Date: January 1, 2002
Hi
Happyshrink: Dear D, I think the tough love mode is a good one at this point as she is an adult (chronologically at least) and should be responsible for her behaviors. While her moving out may be out of the question for now, I think it would be a good idea for that to be an objective and set a target date for her to move out. It can be a year from now or even two years from now. The message you want to send her is that she can't continue to live at home indefinitely and must find a way to become self-sufficient. If you are going to do this though, you do need to help her develop the resources she will need to achieve this objective. I would suggest she be evaluated by a psychiatrist at this point in time. If I had to guess, your daughter suffers from a personality disorder as well as some secondary mood and anxiety problems. She may need some medication as well as psychotherapy and that is a resource that should be made available to her. If she needs vocational training or career counseling, that can also be a good resource to offer her. One last suggestion I have would be for all of you to participate in family therapy. This can be a forum for you and your husband to express your own frustrations about what's going on and perhaps work out some conflicts with your daughter in a therapeutic environment. This is a tough situation and as you probably know already, there is no quick fix. The next year or two will be difficult and stressful. If you work hard and remain consistent, you will be in a better place two years from now and so will your daughter. Good luck and please update me on what is going on. happy(inabetterplacethisyear)shrink
Dear Happy, Just got up and wow, what a headache. We had the biggest New Years Eve parties ever afore at the What Not Inn an' the Dew Drop. An we was all just gittin' over the damage done to our livers an' bodies from Christmas Day. Chief, of the What Not, got JeWitch a bottle o' Mogen David special an' even she got sh*t faced. (Don't think I'll try to call her at all fer a few days) Majid, him be a muslin from Iran an' don't drink at all, run the beer truck all night from the one bar to the other. He's gonna put a down payment on his new house tomorrow. Anyway, we make a big deal of any party here at the Circle K, but this was some record. Our President, W, said we hafta go out, travel and keep the economy moving. So we really did our best, except fer the travling part. The complication be for the tow company that give free rides an' tows to anybody too crocked to drive. They is filing for bankruptcy tomorrow. Rev. Al did a headcount this afternoon an' nobody ended up in the emergency room from Circle K or No Name Park. But there ain't no money left for the collection plate. Anyway, even though there is no way we could have a bigger party next New Years Eve, we wants to share the good time with you. So, put in for a few days off round Dec. 31 for next year when ya gets back to work, and come on down. Since JeWitch kicked out her last boyfriend, she got a extra room and you could stay with her. Gind Rinker Dear Gind, Thank you so much for the invitation. I'm not sure that staying with JeWitch is such a good idea but there's always that Days Inn with a Denny's attached. I just hope they don't remember me from last visit a couple of years ago when you and the whole Circle K crew insisted on sleeping over in my room and then tried to get a free Grand Slam Breakfast. I just got off the anxiety meds from that episode. In any event, I will seriously take your invitation under consideration along with my old pen pal Omar who wants me to visit him in in Kandahar. I will let you know by this summer. happy(timetowatchfootball)shrink
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