Postings from December 16-31, 2001
Date: December 31, 2001
Dear Happyshrink, I'm an 18 year old guy whose a senior in highschool and the past week had to have been the most embarassing of my life. It all started about 8 weeks ago. I really really liked this one math teacher (age 25) so I signed up to help out the freshmen in her math class. I really liked talking to her and getting to know her and everything was going smoothly until 2 weeks before Xmas break. One day I must have accidentally been staring at her a** and the a few of the kids saw it. One girl screams and asks the teacher if she saw what I was doing but the teacher said no. The kids have given me absolute hell about it for about a week. Making bad jokes and so forth. Thankfully teacher didn't know I was checking her out. It wasn't so bad (they're just stupid freshman to me) but then the week before X-Mas break one of the girls tells the teacher that I was staring at her U know what and that I think she's hot. I get really upset leave the room and slam the door behind me. I skip that class the next three days. It was the Friday before break and I still haven't gone back to her class. That day I was planning on going after school to straighten things out. I'm being careful as a approach her room but then I hear a voice behind me saying "I heard you really really REALLY like helping my math class." It was her and she scared the living daylights outta me. At this point I'm stammering and stuttering saying "I wasn't err umm I uhh didn't" and she tells me "its ok and I shouldn't worry about it." I almost think she felt a bit sorry for me. I want to tell her that I liked her and I open my mouth but nothing comes out. She asks me if I'm going to class after break and I tell her "I suppose so" and she wishes me a merry X-Mas and we both go our separate ways. NOW I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL. I'm afraid to go to class on Monday and the worst part is I still REALLY like her. It's weird I never liked anyone so much. I've lost a ton of sleep over to be honest I'm writing this because I can't sleep tonight. What's your opinion on my situation and what do you think I should do? Thanks for your help and please don't print my name. anon Dear anon, You are not the first and won't be the last person to have a crush on a teacher. If I had to guess, your teacher has probably had other kids stare at her a** and it probably comes with the territory of being young and attractive. It also sounds to me like she understands how you feel and she is trying to let you know that it's OK to "feel" that way. I can even understand how freshmen can act they way they do trying to embarrass you. They did finally manage to push your buttons and get you really upset. At this point the best thing to do with regard to the freshmen is ignore them. That you probably know already and that's not the big issue. Here are my thoughts on the big issue: So if you manage to tell this teacher that you really really like her, what do you think is going to happen? What do you want to happen? If you want to have more than a teacher-student relationship anon, I think you are treading on dangerous territory. While you are no longer a minor and in the eyes of the law and such a relationship is "legal," it is certainly not ethical by your teachers' professional code of conduct. Your pursuit of such a relationship can potentially get you in trouble (beyond being embarrassed) and create problems for this teacher as well. So here is my suggestion. Find a way to get out of helping her class. I think it just perpetuates an unhealthy obsession that will make you more unhappy as time goes on. Try to focus on doing the things that seniors should be doing in their final year of high school. Go to parties, student activities, go out with friends, etc. The more you obsess about this teacher, the less time you will have for healthy pursuits. I know that your feelings are strong and I am not trying to minimize them. I know that they don't die off very easily but time and the right kind of activities can help the process. Good luck anon and please feel free to write me again. happy(goingtofocusonhealthypursuitsaftertheNewYear)shrink
Happy, CD: Copy of Edna's email regarding her giving up stripping for welding. JeWitch, Thanks for that advice you gave me about what to do with my life. It wasn’t very useful to me, but it did provide me with some insight into why your life’s always been so screwed up, anyway...I’ve decided to take the plunge--I’m giving up exotic dancing for good and I’m gonna pursue my long-neglected interest in welding. When I think about welding or soldering or any of the material joining technologies, it just gives me the goose bumps! I’ve always wanted to have me a skill--well, other than shedding my clothes in front of a bunch of strange men and bobbing up and down on there laps and what-not. I’ve always wanted to hold onto a long, hot blow torch with the sparks a-flying and the molten metal a-dripping and hear the sizzle of something strong succumbing to the heat. It kind of reminds me of...oh, well, never mind. When I look back at my life, it makes me sad that I didn’t consider welding before now. I just always figured that the Good Lord give me this 42DDD chest to share with others, I mean, it seemed a little selfish for me to just keep it all to myself. But maybe I was misguided, I ain’t for sure. At any rate, Bubba ain’t being very supportive. He don’t want to pay for me to go to welding skool. In fact, he said he’s going to leave me and marry one of the other strippers now that I won’t get my ass back up on stage. He just don’t understand how much welding means to me and I’m sure he was just kidding when he said that I was just a meal ticket for him until someone younger and hotter came along. You know how men can be, they just like to make you think that your nothing but dirt, but they don’t mean it. Well, I’ve got to go--Bubba’s wanting me to get all my belongings out of our house for some reason and he wants me to have it all moved out by noon today. I just wonder what he’s got up his sleeve. Your friend all ways, Edna There ya have it ... JeWitch Dear JeWitch, What a nice way for Edna to start off the New Year. A new and rewarding career in welding and no more Bubba. I just hope that those 42DDDs don't get in the way of her blowtorch. happy(achestisaterriblethingtowaste)shrink
Date: December 30, 2001
Dear Happyshrink, A close relative has been caring for
their spouse for approx. 5 years. The spouse has a serious chronic
illness. At times it has been life threatening and at other times in
a state of arrest. This relative is now showing signs of memory loss
and depression. Is there a way to know if this could be the onset of
Alzheimer's or it is a caregiver stress? This person is 67 years old and
otherwise healthy. Keep in mind that for the past 5-6 years this
person has almost been homebound with care giving. JD Dear JD, While symptoms of memory loss and depression can indicate Alzheimer's disease or other forms of senile dementia, stress can also be the cause as well as undiagnosed medical problems. Someone suffering from clinical depression may also show signs of forgetfulness. There are many possibilities and they need to be checked out. I would strongly suggest that your relative first get a complete physical exam to rule out a medical problem. If there are no medical reasons for the depression or forgetfulness, I would have him/her see a psychiatrist. Medications can help treat clinical depression and if it turns out that your relative is in the early stages of Alzheimer's, there are medications that can slow down the process. Urge you relative to get the help he/she needs now. I would also urge your relative to get help with care giving so he/she can get a break every once in a while. Please let me know how things progress. happy(needsabreakeveryonceinawhile)shrink
Mr. Happyshrink, Remember me? You always referred to me as Little Rusty, Edna's youngest son, well I am all grown up now. Mom wanted me to tell you what I have been doing. Sometimes she is too lazy to write. So here goes: I like cheerleading almost as much as the next guy. I always thought that cheerleaders were a lot like poets--poets with big bouncing boobs and short skirts that you could see up. I got me a pretty full skedule for the summer. I usually sleep in till about noon then get up and go smoke cigarettes out in front of the Dew Drop Inn until about three then go over to the City Park and sit on the picnic tables until about six ... then come home for supper. After supper, I go back uptown and lean against a stop sign or two until about ten. Then from ten to about three in the morning, me and my four friends----get quarts of beer and shout rude shit at the cars that drive past us. My Ma’s been on my ass to go look for a job but I’m sure I ain’t qualified for nothing. I ain’t reliable, punctual, polite or cooperative or any of the shit you need to be to work for somebody--and I aim to keep it that way. Me and my friends like to make fun of the other hi-skool kids that get summer jobs becuz they just look so dum mowing their lawns and serving up hamburgers and that. As me and my friends sit around smoking cigarettes and knocking back quarts of beer and shouting at cars and farting and burping, we got to wonder if those other kids knows just how dum they look. Ha- -I bet they don’t! Later, Rusty Dear Rusty, It was so nice hearing from you. I can certainly understand why you are your Mom's favorite. You are the only one that gets up by noon. Keep up the good work. happy(pessimeststhinkthingcan'tgetanyworse...optimistsknowtheycan)shrink
Date: December 29, 2001
Dear Happyshrink, The social worker at my daughter's school, who has met my daughter at 6 and now again at 11, has suggested to me that my oldest's many problems with refusing to do homework, social ineptness, occasional aversion to direct gaze, fanatical interest in pokemon and digemon, and so on may be due to Asperger's Syndrome. Is it really possible that a child with a "pervasive developmental disorder" such as this could slip through the cracks and not be diagnosed until age 11? I HAVE wondered about this before, but did not really give my thoughts much credit because of all the testing and psychological/social work contact she has had over the past 5 years, I thought that if this was what the problem was, it would have been mentioned. What now? The stuff I've read says that they think Asperger's is genetic because, "Most families with a person with Asperger's can name at least one odd relative". Well, my family tree is full of odd ducks, including 2 physics professors, several Ham Radio Operators (ever read Silence of the Lambs where Hannibal describes ham-radio folks as "personality devoid types"), and myself, (well known as being somewhat of a social misfit). Does that mean that my children were doomed to be odd from the start? If this condition is truely neuro-biological, where does it reside? Can it be seen on an MRI? Anyway, just floored by this revelation and trying to make some sense of it. Forgive my rant. Sincerely, Judi(haveahamradiolicensetoo)blueye Dear Judi While you have described your daughters symptoms in such a way that would make Asperger's Syndrome seem like a possibility, it would be hard to believe that such a diagnosis could have been missed at this point. I have a 12 year old in my house with a similar fanatical interest in Pokemon and Digemon. He has friends with similar interests. Social ineptness is a problem for a lot of kids and while it can be a big problem, it doesn't constitute a diagnosis as Asperger's Syndrome. Some researchers have actually toyed with the idea of identifying a milder form of social ineptness and calling it "Geek's Syndrome." There are loads of kids that probably suffer from Geek's Syndrome and the proliferation of computer and video games certainly feeds into their condition. Whether or not your daughter is a product of the gene pool or she is her own unique "mutation" is irrelevant at this point. I would find the best child psychiatrist in my area and have her evaluated. I would also make sure that there is a treatment plan in place that not only includes her IEP (Individual Educational Plan) but a plan that helps you deal with her at home and helps her to develop the social skills she will need in the future. I know that this is easier said than done but old ham radio geeks like us can do just about anything when we put our minds to it. happy(CRX47Y)shrink
Dear Happy, Well, here's the latest from the Circle K. Everything started out perfect. Mary an' Harry planned a Christmas Day picnic up by the washhouse. She give everyone the suggestion of what to bring (cuz 4 people brung possum the last picnic) to the party. Jewitch was suppose to bring mash taters, but she brung the filter fish. Mary dressed our Ronald Reagan statue like Santa and decorated the washhouse in lights and bought a reel 8 foot high Christmas tree. (We is use ta little tiny fake ones with twinkle lights. So everyone were impressed.) That Mary really gets into stuff an' celebrating and all. She even went to the Dollar closeout store and' bought little presents for all the kids and rapped them an' had them under the tree. Before dinner, everyone had a toast for Bubba gettin' out of jail Christmas Eve. Then Snake give a toast for gittin' out of the hospital after that knife fight. Then Airborne give a toast for the beer. Then The Earl give a toast for the $17 he won on lotto. Then Dui give a toast for almost getting his drivers license back. By the time we finished the toasts, we could eat the filter fish. Then somebody come up with the idea of a wrassling tournament. It started out good, but then it changed to tag team and then to some kinda brawl. Snake and Dui ended up in the emergency room an' we has decided to skip the filter fish until next Christmas. Gind Rinker Dear Gind, I've been told that if you rap the filter fish in several layers of aluminum foil and bury it in the ground, it will keep until next Christmas. Of course it will not exactly taste the same. You might wanna tell everyone it's "Fish Jerky." Happy New Year Gind. Send my regards to the Earl and Harley. happy(jerky)shrink
Date: December 28, 2001
Hello, I am a 15 year old student with a problem I hope you can help. I have just recently decided to take action against my long-running depression which began in early adolescence. Since that time I have been overwhelmed with feelings of hopelessness and helplessness and have basically been going through the motions of living. Lately, it has become worse, sometimes I feel like I'm paralyzed so I just don't go to school, even though rationally I know I should. I can not really find help in anything besides a very good book I am reading by Dr. Burns ("Feeling Good..."). My family is the cause of some discomfort. They have always had a short temper with me, they really dislike my indifferent attitude and failure to be enthusiastic. Ritually they come up with new and exciting ways to call me stupid (ie. moron, retard, etc). My father has explicitly said that he doesn't like me, and that it would be healthier for him to ignore my existence. I am told that I am useless and should move out, or at least drop out of school (I'm not doing that well) and start working. My last birthday present was thrown at me, and I've had food smacked in my face just because my table manners displeased them. Other punishments impede my everyday life literally. My father turns off the power and the water sometimes, and he locks the door to the computer room so I can not do my homework. I can beg and plead that I have work to do but there is really no use looking for pity in him. My mother is supportive of his actions and his philosophy of my behavior. "She doesn't care about anyone but herself". So really, what I need to know, is if it's healthy for me to fuel my pursuit of ridding myself of depression with my intense hatred for them? My second question is, I have just begun to clear my head of my own distorted thinking and self-defeating thoughts, do you have any suggestions that could assist me in clearing all the rest of the ridicule I receive? (Note: Seeking outside medical help is probably out of the question. I don't have enough money to pay for it (I pay for most things myself, clothes, my guitar lessons, bus fare, etc) and I have nothing leftover. Secondly, even if I did have the money, there is no way I would be able to attend therapy sessions, as my family would find out and I can only imagine what they'd say/do). Thank-you very much for your time and I apologize for making this so long. I am very tired of being perceived of a cold person with no emotions, I am also tired of my poor grades even though I know I can do better, and I think now is as good a time as any to initiate change in myself. Jen Dear Jen, I think it is great that you want to change your life around and fight the depression you are experiencing. Clearly this depression has isolated you from your family and affected your studies. While your parents don't sound very supportive of you, it may be a reaction to your depressed state that they interpret as indifference, thoughtlessness and contempt. They may have given up on you Jen because they perceive you having given up on yourself. If you let them know that you are really hurting and need help, they may have a very different reaction than you might expect. If you express the desire to change, it is possible that they would be willing to help you. While the book by Dr. Burns may be somewhat helpful to you, I don't think it will be enough to really change your life around. What you need Jen is to be in therapy and perhaps family therapy as well. If your future is important to you, it can't be out of the question. It has to be a priority. Your parents may even have medical insurance that will cover most of the cost. I know it will be hard to ask them for help Jen. You have been angry at them for a long time and they have probably felt that way towards you as well. I think it's worth a try. If they won't help you, other options might be someone in your school, your family physician, a clergyman or perhaps a relative that you might be close to. Your awareness that you need to initiate change is very important and the first step. The next step is to get the help you need and work hard. This is an important time in your life and you can make good things happen. Please let me know how things are going. Good luck. happy(alwaystryingtomakegoodthingshappen)shrink
Dear Happy, I didn't want to forget the men this Christmas so if you still haven't bought a present for that special guy, listen up ladies. JeWitch
Dear JeWitch, I can see by those photos on the right that the men in your life got pretty nifty stuff this Christmas. I want to personally thank you for the wonderful set of drill bits you bought me for Christmas. I know that they will come in handy should I ever decide to purchase a drill. It was even more thoughtful than the used tooth brushes you gave me last year. happy(hopingSearswillgivemearefund)shrink
Date: December 27, 2001
Happy Holidays Happy!! Hope your holiday season is a good one. Mine is depressing. My mom hardly speaks to me, this is the first holiday I have spent away from my folks. It is very hard, and I feel like they do not even care. My OCD is in high gear right now and the thoughts are driving me insane. I also keep seeing things or hearing voices or music. That isn't there. This is crazy!! I have been crying myself to sleep at night, I just don't know what to do. I feel so sad inside. I want for my folks to know how much I love them. I want to feel relaxed and happy. I was diagnosed with fibromyalsia and about three weeks ago I got in a auto accident. My back, legs, arms, neck etc having been hurting since. I have been getting a headache everyday which is depressing!! I just don't know what to do!! Any advice? ocdnet(unhappyinpain)angel Dear ocdnetangel, My first suggestion is to see your therapist and your psychiatrist and let them know about your symptoms. It is not unusual that during high stress situations like the holidays, your OCD symptoms will become more acute. The voices and music are more unusual and indicate to me that you are experiencing a tremendous amount of stress and anxiety. Your psychiatrist can prescribe something on a short term basis that can relieve those symptoms. I urge you to take care of that right away because they can get worse if you don't. Normally, I would say that it's a good thing that your mother is hardly talking to you. Everything that you have described about her indicates to me that she is a selfish, manipulating individual who believes that she is right and the rest of the world is wrong. I am sure she is still mad at you for moving far away as well as your taking charge of your son's psychiatric treatment. Under most circumstances it would be a relief to not have to deal with her "issues" but this is the Holiday Season and she is still your mother. While I empathize with how you are feeling I can only say that the price for getting back in her good graces is too high and not worth it. I think that you realize that already and that's one of several things making life more stressful for you. Your medical problems and the car accident is yet another burden to bear. All you can do their is get the necessary treatment for that and in time you will feel better. With all the expectations of the Holidays being a joyous time, we have to remember that our lives are never free of responsibilities, problems and disappointments. Despite all that is going on right now ocdnetangel, you need to take comfort in the fact that you still have loving people in your life who care about you and can give you strength. Give them all extra hugs. It will be good medicine for you as well as them. happy(hugsarealmostasgoodamedicineaslaughter)shrink
Happy, I'm resending this list I sent you last year .. MAYBE THIS YEAR THE MEN WILL ACTUALLY READ IT DAMMIT !!! The worst gifts a man can buy a woman.
Happy Holidays.. yeah right ... JeWitch Dear JeWitch, I'm sorry I was late in posting this list. I know several of us guys could have used the advice a few weeks ago. I am also very sorry that you didn't like my gift, "How to not be a Bitch Sunday through Saturday." I really thought you would like it and I was convinced you would have considered it an improvement from last year when I sent you the book, "How to Get Rid of Lard Ass and Cottage Cheese Thighs." I promise to do do better next year. Love, Happy(Gottago....I'mbeingchasedbyawildwomanwithaGinsuknife)shrink
Date: December 26, 2001
Dear happyshrink, I've always had a lot of trouble remembering things, keeping my life organized, and being on time for things. I am prone to depression and anxiety as well as sleeping problems, but I am very forgetful and disorganized whether or not those other problems are going on in my life. If I am going through any of those things that just makes it a lot worse. My best friend says when she thinks of me she thinks "Where are my keys? What was I just doing?" I'm so distracted by my internal thoughts all the time that it makes me really spacey. Even in grade school I was a smart kid and also very conscientious but I would constantly forget about my homework, and would cry my eyes out and hate myself when my parents would get mad at me for it. Well, I'm 22 now, and just out of college, and I recently got fired because I forgot about a schedule change and didn't show up, and also because I was late quite a bit. I am devastated. I was wondering - is there some kind of mental disorder that could be a cause of this? OR am I just trying to make excuses for my lack of discipline? I doubt if I have ADD- because I'm not hyper at all, I'm actually really mellow. Sometimes to the point of being lethargic. I've had many conversations with another woman who is almost exactly like me and struggles with all the same things, and I wouldn't be surprised if there was some kind of mental disorder to blame for it, even if whatever it is hasn't been discovered yet. But I haven't been able to find a description of anything that fits. Please let me know if you have a diagnosis. Phorgetful in Philly Dear Phorgetful in Philly, ADD is definitely a possibility. It can occur with or without hyperactivity so that being mellow doesn't rule it out. If it is ADD I would be somewhat surprised that it wasn't detected in school, but sometimes really smart kids with ADD fall through the cracks because they still manage to get good grades even if it isn't up to their potential. You did manage to graduate college so that indicates to me that you were able to achieve academic success despite your "forgetfulness." Your proneness to anxiety and depression can be related to your "forgetfulness" or it could be a separate issue. You could have more than one diagnosis Phorgetful in Philly. Clearly, having a disorganized and somewhat chaotic life will lend itself to a degree of anxiety and even depression. If the consequences of your forgetfulness are things like getting fired from your job, then your anxiety and depression can be symptoms of your condition and not a separate diagnosis. I would urge you to see a psychiatrist and get a full evaluation. This may also involve getting some psychological testing. Adult ADD is one of the most overlooked conditions and it can be treated. Don't let forgetfulness mess up your life and limit your potential Phorgetful in Philly. Get the help you need now. Let me know what you think and let me know what you find out if you do go to a psychiatrist. Good luck. happy(nowwheredidIputmyshoes?)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, It really was weird, Edna coming over and asking me for advice. I don’t think anyone ever has before. I not very good at that you know. I usually live MY life according to my horoscope or those little notes you get in fortune cookies or the messages you get when you shake that fortune-telling eight ball. I don't know how well that works for others. Now that she's pondering giving up the exotic dancing/prostitution trade and getting into a career in welding, I am not sure what to tell her. Should she dance naked for hordes of slobbering men or should she skillfully join materials together with a torch? Should she let strange men stick there grubby hands and money down her crotch ?? or should she fashion useful structures of metal? That sure is a tough one. I suggested she flip a coin--that’s another method I’ve used to determine courses in my life--like should I get married or file for divorce, things like that. Eenie, meenie, minie, moe works good too--I’ve used that method when I wasn’t sure which car to buy or whether I should get insurance or if I should go see a doctor about my feminine itching. You know, life isn't really all that hard if you just have you some good decision-making strategies. JeWitch Dear JeWitch, Should I respond to this letter nor not? Let's see now....eenie, meenie, minie, NO! happy(hey...thiswayofmakingdecisionsworksgreat!)shrink
Date: December 25, 2001 M E R R Y C H R I S T M A S
I want to wish all the readers, contributors and friends of the Ask Happyshrink Website a very joyous holiday filled with love and happiness. Today I won't answer any letters to happyshrink. I will repost a very special poem from last year that JeWitch sent me. OK, so I'm being lazy. It's Christmas! You could hardly see for all the snow, Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go Pull a chair up to the TV set, "Good night, David; Good night, Chet"
Dependin' on the channel you tune You got Rob and Laura - or Ward and June It felt so good, felt so right Life looked better in black and white
I Love Lucy, The Real McCoys Dennis the Menace, the Cleaver boys Rawhide, Gunsmoke, Wagon Train Superman, Lois Lane
Father Knows Best, Patty Duke Rin Tin Tin and Lassie too, Donna Reed on Thursday night Life looked better in black and white
I wanna go back to black and white Everything always turned out right Simple people, simple lives Good guys always won the fights Now nothin's the way it seems In living color or on the screen I wanna go back to black and white..
In God they trusted, in bed they slept A promise made was a promise kept They never cussed or broke their vows They'd never make the network now But if I could I'd rather be In a TV town in '53 It felt so good, felt so right Life looked better in black and white..
I'd trade all the channels on the satellite If I could just turn back the clock tonight To when everybody knew wrong from right Life was better in black and white.
Date: December 24, 2001 DO YOU KNOW WHERE SANTA IS TONIGHT?
Hi Dear BF, I'm glad that you are learning how to deal with meanness. It's a tried and true method that has actually been around for thousands of years. Meanness will probably never go away. But who knows, maybe some day your daughter-in-law will. Better yet, maybe she'll learn to be kind. Considering all that is going on in the world, let's all hope that kindness manages to survive. Of course there are times when kindness is not the preferred method of behavior. Like when the Texas Longhorns play in their Bowl game. Have a Very Very Merry Merry Christmas BF. happyhappy(andthistimeofyearevenmerrymerry)shrink
Happyshrink, You said "stay in touch" so I am. You know I work in an office with your friend JeWitch .. Wanted to forward to you a collection of inter-office memos from her for the month of December. She doesn't handle the holidays very well .. as you will see. MEMO: December 1st TO: ALL EMPLOYEES I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 21st at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols ... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10. Merry Christmas to you and your family. JeWitch, Human Resources Director ------------------------------------------------------------------------ MEMO: December 2nd TO: ALL EMPLOYEES In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung. Happy Holidays to you and your family. JeWitch, Human Resources Director ---------------------------------------------------------------------- MEMO: December 3rd TO: ALL EMPLOYEES Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous >requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate
this request, but, don't
forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads,
"AA Only," you
won't be anonymous anymore. In addition, forget about
the gifts exchange-- no
gifts will be allowed since the union members feel
that $10 is too much
money.
JeWitch, Human Researchers Director ---------------------------------------------------------------------- MEMO: December 7th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the gay men;
each will have their
table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay
men's table. Happy now? JeWitch, Human Racehorses Director ---------------------------------------------------------------------- MEMO: December 9th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES People, people -- nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit." JeWitch, Human Rat races ---------------------------------------------------------------------- MEMO: December 10th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES Vegetarians -- I've had it with you people!! We're going to hold this party at Luigi's Open Pit whether you like it or not, you can just sit at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you know, tomatoes have feelings, too.
They scream when you slice them.
I've heard them scream.
I'm hearing them right now... Ha! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear me? The Holiday Bitch from Hell - JeWitch ---------------------------------------------------------------------- MEMO: December 14th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing JeWitch a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 2Ist off with full pay. Diane Norris, Acting Human Resources Director
----------------------------------------------------------------------
There ya have it ... Diane Dear Diane, Thank you for letting me know how JeWitch ended up in the sanitarium. I have been communicating with her via email but I haven't had the nerve to ask her what drove her over the edge this time. At least it wasn't a deviant husband, a loser boyfriend or an exploding automobile during rush hour traffic. Given the mild nature of this particular stress related illness, she should be out by February. Wish her a Very Very Merry Merry Christmas when you see her Diane. happy(readyforanicequietsanitarium)shrink
Date: December 23, 2001
Dear Happy Shrink, Some time ago, I was turned away by a lady whom I wanted to seek a relationship with. I understand that it takes a little while to get over such a situation, but it's starting to become more than a while. Although I don't want to admit it, I'm still infatuated with her, and think of her like there's still a chance for a relationship with her. I wish I could just completely avoid her, but I inevitably see her all the time, since she is friends with my friends. So therefore, she does what I do. But every time i see her, it's another splinter in the back of my mind constantly reminding me of what I lost not too long ago. It's becoming a sickness. The girl has
moved on of course, since she wasn't the one doing any propositioning. I'm
still crazy for her, though, and it needs to stop. If I don't, I fear that
someday I'm just going to emotionally explode, possibly in front of my
friends or family. And all because of a girl. What do I do to help myself? Dear Chris, Getting over rejection at any age is never easy, but I think it is particularly tougher when you are a teenager. Not only do you feel rejection from this girl; you probably wonder if there is something wrong with you. Perhaps you question if any girl will care for you the way you might care for her. At a time when you are really trying to develop your own unique identity, this rejection can't feel very good. One thing that will make you feel better is time. Over the next few weeks or perhaps months, it will get easier and even seeing her will not feel so awkward. Something that you can do to feel better is try to get involved in other social activities. It doesn't have to involve dating other girls but should be things that you enjoy and will make you feel good about yourself. Perhaps by doing more things socially you may actually meet someone else who is interested in you and shares your interests. There isn't a magic pill or treatment that will mend a broken heart Chris but they do seem to fix themselves over time. Good luck and please feel free to write me again. happy(yougottahavehearteventhoughitsometimeshurts)shrink
Happy, Thought I’d let you know how that dinner with Bubba's mother went this last Sunday. I am still not quite sure if she is trying to kill me though. I memorized that list Bubba gave me. I didn't let her walk behind me, I checked under the tablecloth for poisonous snakes and what not, I didn’t eat or drink nothing she offered me, I didn’t play lawn darts or horseshoes with her and I checked my vehicle for tampering before I left. When I got there, we sat down to the table right off and she started telling me how it really depressed her that he wanted to marry me. She started crying and then sort of shaking all over and then she pulled out a chainsaw and chased me around the house. By then the dinner was ready. There seemed to be a lot of broken glass in the mashed potatoes and the fried chicken had it some fishhooks sticking out, those I could detect. The cherries jubilee smelled like gasoline and she offered to let me light it whiles she left the room. When I told her I weren’t hungry, she got all flustered and suggested we go for a walk out behind the house. I said sure but when we got out there, I noticed that she had dug her a big six-foot deep hole. She took out a tape measure then and figured out my height. She told me that whiles she had dug that hole deep enough, she was still a little shy on the length. His momma's a nice old gal and all but I don’t know if I’ll go back over to her house again any time soon. For one thing, me and her don’t got a hole lot in common. For another thing, all that snarling and hissing that she does at me just kind of gives me the creeps. Edna Dear Edna, All I can say is that it's a good thing that you have been on a road kill diet for most of the past 20 years. Considering what you have for dinner on a daily basis, Bubba's mother's meals wouldn't even make you burp. I agree with you that you shouldn't visit her for a while. Maybe you could send JeWitch over for dinner in your place. After that experience she might appreciate you a bit more. happy(appreciatesEdnaawholelot)shrink
Date: December 22, 2001
Dear Happyshrink, I am a 36 yr old female who just in the past year patched things up with her mother. I have been having difficulties making female friends since I was a teen. I think this is in part from the problems I had with my mom, and in part because of my looks. I am a tall blonde who had no problems conversing with men. I'm getting older now and the looks are fading. but I still feel like other women see me as competition. maybe that's how I see them, I'm not sure. I just know I don't feel comfortable around women. I don't know where to look or where to put my arms when I'm standing there. I don't try and make friends, my daughter is my friend, and I know that is not healthy to have her be my only female friend. I don't have too many male friends any longer since I'm married. so, I have no friends other than my husband and my daughter. I feel weird. this has been going on so long that I'm not sure that I'll ever change. I do feel less uncomfortable around older women. Even younger women, just women my age are the problem. What do you think? don't know if its relevant, but my dad died when i was 4. No other father figures. My mom had me when she was 16, "She had her own life" so, not too much nurturing went on, but we are making up for that now and I am thankful. Thank you. J Dear J, It sounds to me like a lot of your early childhood experiences have shaped your relations with both men and women. Having a mom only 16 years older than yourself meant that there were 2 children growing up in you home and your mom was one of them. This may have caused some competition between the two of you and perhaps that's where you may perceive competition from other women. Having lost your father at age 4 created a void that may have been filled somewhat by having male friends. Some clinicians believe that children get validation from the parent of the opposite sex and they learn how to behave according to their gender from the parent of the same sex. In some ways you were deprived of both. You mother could not be the role model you needed and you didn't have a father to validate your sense of self worth. Those needs were fulfilled in other ways but it has left you with some deficiencies in the way you relate to peers. There isn't a quick fix to this problem J since it developed over many years, but I would suggest that you consider psychotherapy. You have successfully assumed the roles of wife and mother, and it would be nice to expand your social abilities so that you can have more people in your life. Psychotherapy isn't always to cure anxiety or depression. Sometimes it can be to expand your potential to be everything you want to be. If you want more out of life, you can do something about it. Let me know what you think. Good luck and have a happy holiday. happy(sometimeshastoomanyfriends)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, My mom bought my 9 year old daughter an electronic drum pad set for Christmas and, since the girls are leaving for Daddy's house soon, she let her open it early. Kid #2 has been home sick the past two days (and me with her). The drum set not only can imitate every percussion instrument known to man, it can bark, neigh, growl, burp, fizz, whistle, reproduce the sound effects tracks from The Exorcist, play disco music and wail "Can you feel it" over and over again as if Reverend Franklin's favorite daughter (Euretha) was warming up in my living room. You should note that Grandma "accidentally" bought the wrong kind of batteries, so the little darling could not try it out at Her House. Grandma and Grandpa left, shortly after bestowing this gift, for a trip to the Virgin Islands (which is not really out of the country, but is pretty darn close!) Subsequently I have not had the opportunity to thank her properly! Question? Do you think my mom is trying to drive me over the edge? Admittedly it is a short trip this time of year... Sincerely, Judi(nowwheredidIputthoseearplugs)blueye Dear Judi, Yes your mom is trying to drive you over the edge. Let's face it; that's what mom's do best. Aren't you glad that EverReady and Duracel have not come up with a battery that lasts forever? happy(haveyoueatenyourchunkysoup?)shrink
Dear Happy, You asked, "Whatever happened to that overeducated, over-intoxicated homeless bastard who smelled like sardines and lived in a railcar and used to date Edna's daughter Lulu Hoppenstetter?" Well, Derrick is now clean and sober. (How dull.) He attends A.A. every Monday and Thursday night. (Even duller.) He has left his railcar and now resides in the local flophouse, THE BITHLO OTEL--(no one knows if it’s a hotel or a motel because the first letter in the last word was stolen years ago.) Anyway, Derrick now has a cast of colorful neighbors who reside at the otel with him. Derrick is now gainfully employed as a cashier at the Kum Qwik Convenience Store. He sells frozen burritos and lottery tickets and unleaded gas with a finesse seldom seen at that level of employment. He reads Tolstoy on his lunch hour. He’s saving up for a hot plate so he can have tea in his room at the otel. So in answer to your question ... Derrick is no longer at the Bottom of the Barrel, Derrick is now at least one or two inches above the bottom. Will he be able to stay sober? Will he ever know again the success he once had as a prominent professor at an Ivy League University? Oh frankly, do you really care what happens to Derrick? I know I don't. JeWitch - The
difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know, and I couldn't care
less... Dear JeWitch, Say what? happy(feelingignorantandapatheticduringthepreChristmasfrenzy)shrink PS: Yale Locksmith School is not an Ivy League University.
Date: December 21, 2001
Dear Happyshrink, For some reason I cant just forget this and get on with my life. If it was anyone else I would want them to stop torturing themselves, dwelling on it is only hurting you, no one else. My father recently died from the same genetic disease as I. I found out that same week I will be having my 6th surgery ( 4th brain tumour operation) for, about the time of my 33rd birthday. My "friend" of 23 years called to say on the day of the funeral she wouldn't be there (she did however send my mother a sympathy card). She had a good reason. She was waiting for a call from her daughter's doctor regarding some very serious tests (The grandmother told me yesterday, 3 weeks later, that the tests were clear) I told her I was disappointed she wouldn't be there on another such an important day. Later she emailed me to ask what other important days? I just cracked and regret how rude I was when I listed off the fact she never once visited me in hospital, bitched at me for not inviting her to the 30th birthday party she assumed I'd have, when I had no party and others who bothered with me knew it was because I still couldn't walk well at all due to surgery. I wrote quite a list of things in my life she had no interest in and she has not contacted me since except to tell me I never showed interest in her kids (She may be right there. At first I was very keen to be involved in her kids lives but eventually I couldn't handle her disapproval that I didn't have kids because I don't want them to have this disease and that HURT). I hadn't realized how much the fact my nurse "friend" didn't care about my well being mattered to me. I know she wasn't a real friend to me, I know I will be better off not being hurt and disappointed when she doesn't turn up at the hospital again, but I can't stop thinking about this, feeling guilty at my timing, and grieving the loss of what I considered a friendship. (I sent a note of apology for my timing.) Any words of advice Happy? Thanks Again Friend Dear Friend, You are right in saying that she isn't a real friend to you; more of an acquaintance. However, knowing her for 23 of your 33 years does make her significant. Given that the holidays are upon us, you could send a card with a note hoping that things are OK with her daughter and perhaps suggesting that you might contact her in the New Year. After the New Year, call to say hello. Then the ball is in her court. Other than that friend, I don't know if there is much more you can do. While your timing might have been off, the content of what you told her was valid and if she is incapable of hearing "some" of what you said, perhaps 23 years is enough. Clearly you have a lot of feelings about your relationship and those feelings do need to be expressed at some point. Good luck with your surgery and let me know what happens. happy(happyHolidaytoo)shrink
Dear Happy, The Earl an' me was watchin' all the bombing an' stuff in Afinhis..... Affgin....Aggaff... over where they is bombing. We think they is tryin' to blow up Osmama. But we be thinkin' that that would be way too easy on him. So we is gettin' up the money to send JeWitch over for a month to live with him a full 28 days afore they hang him............ without her cigarettes! We'll miss her, but could use the peace. And when she get back, she might be over the ruff spots. Gind Rinker Dear Gind, While your idea has merit and I know a lot of Americans who would support your idea, it does constitute cruel and unusual punishment under the Geneva convention of warfare. The United states subscribes to to the Geneva convention so I don't think we can pull it off. Perhaps for a less sadistic but still painful penalty, we can send St. Theresa to Afghanistan along with her complete collection of Tori Amos music. If she's not available, WindNWillows might volunteer to bring her Enya collection. Maybe I should consult with Reverend Al if these acts are also in violation of the Geneva convention. I'll get back to you Gind. happy(wouldn'tmindjustalittlebitofcruelty)shrink
Date: December 20, 2001
Hi, I hope you don't think I'm a weirdo or anything, but I saw your site and figured what the heck you might know. I am a 22-year old female grad student at a large southern university. I am very concerned about my next door neighbor, another female student about my age who lives in the small house adjacent to mine off campus. Several times a month I would hear wild, high-pitched shrieks coming from the house. I used to figure it was the television but finally last week my curiosity got the best of me and I went to go look. Upon looking in a window, I saw my neighbor being held down on the floor by a large man while two other men were tickling her! She was on her tummy while the one guy held her down and the other two guys each had one of her feet, which were bare and they were tickling like mad. They kept doing this for several minutes, and she was really hysterically laughing and begging them to stop. I thought she was going to have a heart attack. They finally stopped and she lay there gasping for air. I relaxed a little cause she knew them I guess, she smiled afterward and slapped one of them. The next day I went over and asked her what the heck was going on the night before (I didn't tell her I peeked in the window) cause I heard the noise. She blushed and told me they were just some friends giving her a hard time. Now I told you this was not the first time I had heard this. My question is this, can a person die or go insane from prolonged tickling like that? She was really making noise as they tickled her. Now another time I was over at her place a couple days later two of the men came by, and one of the men I caught more than once looking at my feet, which were hardly concealed in sandals. I am under the impression he might be thinking about doing the same thing to me. If that happened, I would truly go insane as I am very very ticklish on my feet. So I guess I am nervous about the both of us. Can serious harm come to a very ticklish person who is restrained like that and tickled? and is it common for men to gang up and long-term tickle someone? Is it a fetish or something? This is not a made-up story, Id appreciate any advice. Let me know please! TJ Dear TJ, Yes it is a fetish and appropriately it's called a tickle fetish. Some individuals enjoy being tickled to the point where they will laugh uncontrollably and gasp for air. This fetish could be dangerous for someone who has a heart condition, respiratory problems or a seizure disorder. If the person is healthy, the risks are probably minimal. The likelihood of going insane from this is also very minimal. From your description, this was an activity performed by consenting adults and while it may seem weird, there is nothing terribly wrong with the activity as long as nobody gets hurt. Often, people who engage in such activities will have a code word that will signify that the person REALLY wants it to stop. All other protests to stop the activity is considered part of the "game." As far as you own safety TJ, keep in mind that without your consent, individuals who would do this to you are committing a crime. If you are really uncomfortable with this activity as you seem to be, you might want to avoid your neighbor and her friends. If they harass you in any way, don't hesitate to file a complaint with the police and even ask for an "order of protection." In all honesty though, it doesn't sound to me like these individuals pose a threat to you or your sanity. Guys look at women all the time and frankly, it's not looking at feet that make most women uncomfortable. Lastly TJ, I just wonder if some of this hasn't raised issues for you about your sexuality and what inner feelings you may have about that. Everyone wants to feel "normal" about themselves and sexually has a lot of "normals" even though some of them may appear strange to others. Perhaps this is something you can think about and discuss with trusted friends or with a therapist. Let me know what you think. happy(tryingtoticklepeoplewithhumor)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, Bubba, NO DOUBT, has dog sh*t for brains, no, make that chicken sh*t or whatever sh*t it is that is lowest on the scale. I cannot belief the advice that he gave our Siamese twins. They are so mixed up, they don’t know there left from there right--and belief me, when that happens to Siamese twins, it ain’t pretty! The twins came to him telling him that they both got them some sweethearts in the fifth grade. One of them likes a girl with a plate in her head and the other’s sweet on a boy with a wooden leg. Well, the twins told me that he poo-pooed there involvement with these kids on account that these kids are handicapped. What the hell is the matter with him? Our Siamese twins are joined at both hands. Don’t he get it or what? That ain’t like acne or athelete’s foot, goddamn it, that’s for keeps! If they can get them a plate-head and a pegleg to hang out with them, don’t you think he shouldn't be an idiot and tamper with that? Hope you can help me, undo the damage he has done. Now the twins are on a high horse and they think they can be sweet on anyone they want. Well, I ain’t going to be the one to pick up the pieces when they go getting their hearts broke. In a couple of years when they turn thirteen and they want to get married to someone from around here, he better hope he didn’t ruin their chances with his STUPID advice. Edna I hope he goes to Hell and the Devil kicks his ass so hard that he has to unzip his pants to put his hat on. Dear Edna, Once again you have demonstrated your wisdom and sensitivity towards your unfortunate children. Please remind Bubba that after his second six-pack of beer, he usually doesn't notice who had limbs missing or who had a plate in their heads. On second thought, why not just dump the idiot once and for all? If your kids can befriend peglegs and plate-heads, just think of the new friends you can attract. happy(stillattractedtoEdna)shrink
Date: December 19, 2001
Dear Happyshrink, Help! My husband tells me I laugh out loud in my sleep, he tries to wake me up and claims I don't. Normally, I am a light sleeper and am puzzled as to why I don't wake up. This has almost been occurring nightly...at least that's what my husband says. GO Dear GO, Just as you can talk in your sleep, you can also laugh and cry in your sleep as well. It is often associated with a dream that you are having. Can you remember any dreams you have had over the past nights? Are there stressful situations occurring in your life at this time? Are you worried or conflicted about something? While this phenomenon is unusual, it is not an indication of anything seriously wrong but could possibly be a sign of stress. It is somewhat surprising that you don't wake up because dreams usually occur during light sleep. As far as the implication that your husband might not be truthful about what is happening, would he have any reason to lie about it? Is there a reason for you to be skeptical about his reporting this phenomenon. Please feel free to write me back and answer the questions I've asked you. happy(alwayslaughingwhilehe'sawake)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, Can I have some custom-made affirmations too, or do you only do them for your imaginary friends? Sincerely, Judiblueye Dear Judi, You mean you are one of my real friends? That's the nicest thing you ever said to me and it deserves at least a few real affirmations. 1. It is more satisfying to annoy people with kindness than with meanness. 2. There is always one sure way to get children to do what you want them to do..... pay them off. 3. People like me have 20-20 vision in one eye. My problem is I can't remember which eye. 4. I have to love myself before I can expect any miserable creep to love me. 5. Just because every a**hole I work with is out to get me doesn't make me paranoid. 6. Flashing an FBI agent never hurt anybody.
There you go Judi. Live long and prosper.
Happy(closetVulcan)shrink
Date: December 18, 2001
Dear Happy, Hmmm...that letter was really reassuring. It all makes sense I guess. Well, I guess I'm just writing to touch base, or to have you convince me otherwise, but I'm pretty much giving up my quest for sanity. I'm through with the "I want to get through this....I want to get batter" phase. I have completely enshrouded myself in hopelessness. I reminded my mother about bringing me to a psychologist and she got all pissy and said, "why?! you are fine! your problems aren't affecting your life or anything!" if only she knew. If only she felt a particle of what I'm feeling. so I screamed, "how do you know!?" then ran to my room. I felt so stupid. I actually spilled my guts to this woman. I felt vulnerable and naked. I don't ever want that to happen again. I told you she doesn't take me seriously! I felt SO stupid! yours truly, Hopeless, homicidal, suicidal, love
repelling, absolute cynic Dear Hopeless, homicidal, suicidal, love repelling, absolute cynic, If your mother isn't taking you seriously, is there anyone else who will? What about a teacher at school? Can you share with one of your teachers what you shared with me? The fact that you are still writing me tells me that you have not completely enshrouded yourself in hopelessness. I know this can't be easy for you and I wish your mother would take you seriously. As powerless as you feel, you still have the power to try. Keep trying Hopeless, homicidal, suicidal, love repelling, absolute cynic. I'll keep listening and keep responding to your letters. happy(andhopeful)shrink
Mr.. Happy Shrink, I have always been so proud of my son, Bubba ... Yes, he has always resembled the Pillsbury doughboy. Yes, he wet the bed until he was well into his teens. And yes, he has always been as socially awkward as an albatross in army boots, but in my eyes--a mother's eyes--he has always been perfect. He has sat next to me in church for the full thirty-nine years of his life. Even when I had to strap him to the pew or cover his mouth with duct tape, he has been faithfully at my side during every service since 1958. I remember when he had the flu and poison ivy and appendicitis, he wanted stay home from church, but I would not allow it. I made him come to church with me because I wanted him to learn that God doesn't care whether you're vomiting or itching or bent over in agony, He wants to see a good showing on Sunday morning. So given the fact that I've raised my son with such high standards, I cannot understand for the life of me why he has this affinity for the likes of Edna Hoppenstetter. She represents all that is spontaneous and uncontrolled. She stands for free will and the pursuit of pleasure. Whatever attracted my son to the likes of her? It is truly baffling. Say a little prayer if you would, for my son Bubba. Pray that he comes around to the repressed, Christian lifestyle again. Pray that he loses his yearnings for love and happiness with Edna and longs for the hardened comfort of the wooden pew, the shattering wail of the pipe organ, the judgmental voice of the minister as he talks of the downfall of man down through the centuries. Oh just pray, for God's sake, that he doesn't marry Edna Hoppenstetter so that someday I won't have to split the family silver with her. Ms Melina Mae Corry Dear Ms Corry I never realized that Bubba was from such an upstanding and refined family. I always considered Bubba to be white trash but you shed a completely new light on him. Maybe when he gets out of jail I will speak to him about leaving Edna once and for all. By the way....is that real silver or silver plate? happy(tryingtostayuntarnished)shrink
Date: December 17, 2001
Dear Happyshrink, I have been struggling with the possibilities of going into the psych hospital again. I don't want to, but my emotions are up and down and torture me. The last time I had suicidal ideation my therapist was very concerned. But something he said seemed to take the edge off. He told me that with what I was dealing with, he expected me to be hospitalized two or three more times. I told him I had refused to go in and fought it so hard because I felt guilty about having to need help. He told I didn't need to feel guilty, that with the type of emotional work I am doing he expected it, and that my family should expect it to. That made me feel better. I discussed with him that I didn't feel
like the length of time I stayed at these places was long enough, and he
agreed. He feels like I should stay some place for at least a year, six
months at the least. My problem is I don't know where to find places that
will keep you for that length of time and that deal with DID (Dissociative
Identity Disorder). So, I am looking to you, the all knowing little guy
for ideas. I'm a little nervous about being away from home for so long,
but I have to kill the monster inside me. If I don't, it will
consume me. Dear Methos, I agree with you and your therapist about the need for a long term hospital stay. Managed Care and private insurance companies make that almost impossible but not out of the question. I think you need to look into facilities that specialize in DID. Given your recent history of hospitalizations and the recommendation from your therapist, there is a chance that you could get approved for extended stay. Yes the monster needs to be killed before it consumes you, but keep in mind that the monster has lost every battle so far. You are still here and you are still fighting. Another thing to look into are research facilities. I know it may seem as though you are a "human Guinea pig" but if they are willing to work with you, it may be another option for long term care. If it is not possible for long term hospitalization, a few shorter stays may still work as well. Your family needs to know that there isn't a quick fix if they haven't already come to that conclusion. Please let me know what you come up with. You know that I am always in your corner. happy(wishIcouldslaymoremonsters)shrink
Dear Happy, If you remember .. I got a part time job at the library.... It was gonna be the BEST JOB IN THE WORLD !!! I always wanted a job where I could tell people to 'sit down and shut the f*** up.' After getting hired I found out that another "perk" (JeWitch taught me that word, can't believe I can finally use it) was stacking the books in really really high pile. WELL ..... Here is what has happened. Things are really in an uproar at the No-Name Trailer Park Library where I work. The head librarian is trying to pull some really underhanded crap. In order to save money, he wants to replace the librarians he's got now with some foreign librarians. Never mind that the foreign librarians won't speak any English, he's found out that they'll work for a dollar and a half a day. He thinks if he just teaches them three English phrases: Be quiet, The bathrooms are over there, and Look it up yourself, he can replace us with them. Me and the other librarians are really pissed. One of them even made a fist and said a swear word so you know it's bad. Well, that head librarian's messing with the wrong people! I've convinced the other librarians to carry picket signs and march out in front of the library. The signs will say The No-Name Library Sucks. (I thought that slogan up myself.) Anyway, the other librarians, being the 'avoiders of conflict that they are' wanted to just sit in their cars and hold the signs but I said no way! They're scared to death that someone's going to get mad at them for sticking up for their rights. I get so frustrated with them becuz they're such a bunch of wussies that I almost want to shake them. But I better not. They're all so fragile that I'm liable to dislocate their spines or something. I'll keep you posted on this big screw job. Edna Dear Edna, How many books did you say are in the No-Name Trailer Park Library? Can I borrow a copy of "War and Peace" or do I have to settle for a bunch of old "Archie" comics from the 1970's? happy(stillhasthehotsforBetty)shrink
Date: December 16, 2001
I am a mental health nurse who has a mother, brother and aunty who suffer enduring mental health problems, I have now found because of this I am no longer able to work in my local hospital, I feel like quitting nursing because of this discrimination, however I am good at what I do and really do not think I am suited to much else, but within my city there are not jobs available to me. I am unable to move to a new area at present due to other commitments. Do you think I should call it a day or not? Regards kellygal Dear kellygal, If you still feel you have something to contribute to the field of mental health, I would try to pursue your career. If you don't have a job at present, you might want to consider volunteering. Given the fact that you have a lot of family members who suffer from mental illness, I suggest you contact the local chapter of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI) to find out if you could volunteer and get involved with them. They do a lot of good advocacy work and it may also enable you to do some networking with people in the mental health field. To access their web page and find out where a local chapter might be in your area, click here. The job market is never easy for mental health professionals kellygal and my only other advice to you is be persistent. It will pay off eventually. Good luck and let me know how things progress. happy(startedthiswebpagewhenIwasoutofwork)shrink
The Earl an' me just got this Christmas Card from Jewitch. I'm not sure how I should feel about this. 'Specially since some of those asses seem to look a little like the Earl. Gind Rinker
Dear Gind, You should feel honored. JeWitch has a very exclusive Christmas card list. Besides, its the thought that counts.....actually in JeWitch's case it's the money she paid for the card and the postage stamp. happy(justlookatwhatI'msurroundedby)shrink
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