Postings from August 25-31, 2001
Date: August 31, 2001
Dear Happy, I have had a problem with depression since childhood. I feel a lot of my problems stem from my childhood. While I know I must forgive and forget, I feel like parts or all of me never grew up. Abusive drinking dad, never did anything with me, nothing was ever good enough, scared of the dark bed wetting till 17, bleeding ulcer age 9, never had self esteem or self confidence, and have a real hard time keeping employment. My wife of ten years cheated the whole time, 7 years with my brother-in-law, I am a single dad of a 14 year old daughter for 7 years. I am overweight, a smoker, eat crap, and just feel like crying every day. I am now 43 years old, live with mom, am unemployed, do not feel qualified or skilled, still do not have self confidence or self esteem, and some partying teenagers burned my car to the ground, so now I have no car. I have had ED for about 10 years, I do not know if this is mental or physical, all I know is the thought of never having a wife again, if I get the other twenty things fixed, scares me. And to top it all off, now half of both my hands are numb. I have tried to be a Christian but 30 years of unanswered prayer does not help the depression. I do not know what to do. Thanks .... Dear ...., Anyone reading your story could not help but feel overwhelmed and hopeless about your situation. There are many things you can't change but there are things you can. Here are a few of them. 1. You can quit smoking 2. You can lose weight 3. You can eat healthier 4. You can exercise 5. You can get a medical exam and get treatment for what is ailing you. 6. You can look into training programs that will give you some work skills. 7. You can join an ADOA group (Adult Children of Alcoholics) 8. You can join a Parents Without Partners group. 9. You can see a counselor or psychotherapist. I just gave you a list of things to do that may overwhelm you more than your depression. You don't have to do all of these things at once! Start with one or two things you feel you might be successful in attempting. Then work your way through the list as you accomplish things. Anyone can feel bad for you and empathize with what you have been through ...., but no one can do the above things for you. You have to do them yourself and if you manage to get even half of those things accomplished, your depression will lessen and your self-esteem will increase. As far as your unanswered prayers are concerned, perhaps you have been praying for the wrong things. Many people ask God to solve their problems when they would be better off asking God to give them the strength and faith so they can solve their own problems. If God can answer that prayer for you ...., it would be even better than winning Powerball. Ok, maybe not that great but you get the idea. Let me know how things work out. happy(hasfoundthingsinlifebetterthanpowerball)shrink
Dear Happy, Bein' the wif o' a working employed paychek earnin' man like My Earl, I decided today that makin' biskits fer breakfast and peanut and banana sanwitches fer lunch an' dumplins fer dinner was beneeth my station. I could afford ta get store made bread fer just one day. Don't ya gree? So me an' Harley was at the deli in our grocery store a gittin' some pig hocks when I spotted sweetbreads. Them bein' 59 cent a pound, I bought 2 pounds o' them sweet dumplins in gravy. My Earl wanted me ta writ ya ta warn ya thay ain't sweet an' thay ain't bread. Gind Rinker Dear Gind, No they are not either of those things. JeWitch is begging me to tell you what sweetbreads really are but I think that too much knowledge can not only be dangerous, it can be down right nauseating. happy(skippinglunchtoday)shrink
Date: August 30, 2001
Dear happyshrink, I don't know if I've reached the right doctor or not but I have to try. my problem is that I've been dating the same man for almost 5 years and every time we start to get closer to moving on in our relationship, he comes up with another excuse not to. we've talked about moving in together and growing together in that type of way but when the time comes, its always a different excuse, never the same. sometimes he might say that he just don't feel ready, or why rush things, or maybe he'll never be ready, or he don't want to move closer. it's just always different and he's driving me crazy with all these excuses. I really love him and I don't want to loose him. he says he don't want to loose me either but why wont he make a move? I hope you can help me because I just don't understand this. there is allot more to it but I don't want to bombard you with all of it at once. please, if you can give me some good advice, I sure would appreciate it. Thank You M Dear M, There are just some people who can't or won't make a commitment in a relationship. They sit on the fence for as long as they can until someone pushes them off. This sounds like what's happening between you and your boyfriend except you aren't pushing him off the fence. Five years is a long time to be ambivalent and it won't get any better until you do something about it. My suggestion is that you give him a time frame. It can be 3 months, six months, until the end of the year, etc. At that time either he makes a commitment or you go your separate ways. There is a risk here that the relationship will end and after five years and there will be a lot of pain to deal with. But if you don't do this, you may remain in this state of limbo for another five years. You need to get on with your life and so does he. Sitting on the fence for this long of time is not healthy and will only feel more hopeless as time goes on. This isn't an easy decision M. I think you know deep down inside what to do. Find the courage to do it so that you can have the kind of life you want. Please feel free to respond or talk about those other issues that you didn't want to bombard me with. happy(doesn'tmindbeingbombarded)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, A couple of women moved into the trailer next
to me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a
social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere
together and I've never seen a man go into their apartment or come
out. Edna Dear Edna, Just remember that just because someone is Lebanese doesn't mean they are bad neighbors.....unless they are friggin' terrorists or something. happy(omnisexual)shrink
Date: August 29, 2001
Dear Happy! It's super that you allow us all to ask the very question that we have unsuccessfully been able to ask our own shrinks and which seem to turn off our friends, namely "what the hell are these medicines really doing to me ? They have more side effects than primary helpful ones". I am on Zyprexa (2.5 mg bid), Geodon (20mg bid), Effexor (37.5mg PM + 25 mg AM) and Depakote (250mg bid). I started out as a chronic depressive, who was occasionally paranoid. (My present doctor rephrased that as my being "schizo-affective".) My doctor is really careful, but he will not listen to me when I say that this present combination is making me more depressed and much more paranoid. Also, I made my living by using my brain and also needed some effective cognitive function just to have self-respect. Now, my short-term memory is shot, I cannot follow a thought to conclusion, my sleep is only about 2 hours' duration at night (and filled with terrible dreams) and I am plagued with such constipation that no remedy (have tried Citrucell, regular laxatives, flax seeds, prunes, you name it!) works more than a week. I also have terrible joint pain, muscle cramping and all the other usual psychotropic drug symptoms. What is worse, somehow the medicine seems to have "awakened" a bipolar reaction. I never was bipolar before (and I must admit, the up side is much more enjoyable than the down!) and it scares me. I would really like to live without all these drugs, but don't know what would happen if I stopped. Lately, I feel much crazier and much more dependent on doctors and drugs. Would it somehow be possible to withdraw from all drugs without catastrophic results? Sorry for writing such a long letter...it's just that I really admire your sense of humor about all these things—and your wisdom. Thanks, Shoshana Dear Shoshana, If your diagnosis of schizo-affective disorder is accurate, then going off all medication can be very dangerous. Schizo-affective disorder is a condition that combines symptoms of schizophrenia with symptoms of bipolar disorder. The combination of medications you are taking for this condition is not unusual. Many of them do have side effects that can be hard to live with. The only thing that I can suggest to you is that you can consider seeing another psychiatrist and get a second opinion. Schizo-affective disorder is a very serious condition that does not have a cure. Medication may only be partially effective in controlling the symptoms. The side effects of the medications always have to be weighed against the reduction of symptoms. The important thing about your considering going off medication is to do it with a psychiatrist so that if you begin to decompensate, you can get help quickly. Another suggestion that I have for you Shoshana is to look into support groups. There are many people who suffer from schizo-affective disorder and being able to share your experiences with others can be very helpful. Let me know what you think. happy(whentheyfindacureformentalillness)shrink
Dear Happy, How do people who work at home handle "Casual Fridays?" Curious Dear Curious, I'm not sure what people who work at home do on "Casual Fridays" but here is what I do on Casual Saturdays:
happy(verycarefulnottospillcoffeeinhislap)shrink PS Thanks for the cartoon Cornfed.
Date: August 28, 2001
Dear Happy, I have a problem which I think psychiatrists like ones in my country (Pakistan) won't be able to solve. I experience weak knees. Do you know something about this problem. I've been experiencing this for six years or so. I read an article in TIME magazine (April 2, 2001) about phobias. The writer said something about weak knees which gave me confidence to get online with someone like you. Do you know the cause of this problem. If you do please do write. If not please recommend someone whom I could talk to online. I also talked to a female cousin of mine who has done MA psychology but she said she knew nothing about this problem. I would solve it on my own only if I can find the cause of it. I know its mental not physical. I have some idea about it but I wanna know what a professional doctor has to say about it. Please do write. PP Dear PP, Please note that I am not a medical doctor. I am a clinical social worker and psychotherapist with many years of experience working in the mental health field. Weak knees can be a symptom of anxiety and phobias are a type of anxiety disorder. The first thing I suggest to you is that you see a medical doctor and make sure that your condition is not a physical one. If it is a psychological disorder, I think that there are mental health professionals in your country that can help you. Talking to someone about your fears and worries may be a good way to get started. Chatting on the Internet may seem easier, but I don't thing the results will be as good as seeing a face to face therapist. It is highly on likely that you can solve this on your own by just seeking information. Get some real help PP. Your medical doctor is a good place to start. Let me know what happens. happy(needshelpinsolvingproblemstoo)shrink
Dear Happy, I am in crisis. You has been out o' reech when somethin' awful happn. The trailer cross the street from Mary an Harold Balzack went up fer sale. Harry's friend, a German fella, Gunner Coppafeel, an his buddy, Eebee Letherstud (Lord only noed where he come from) bought it. Gunner is a dekorator and dances in the O-Town theater and Eebee is a hairdresser. You shudda seed Mary when he got dun with her. But I's gittin off track. Well what happin nex was the beginnin of the crisis. Harry let Eebee shave his head. Then Snake shaved his head an las night, while I was thinkin My Earl was innocently gittin drunk with Dui, he was over at Gunner an Eebee's gittin his head shaved. Harley ain't stopt cryin and I ain't stopt pukin. I kain't git over it. You got any shrink words ta hep me an Harley? Gind Rinker Dear Gind, The shape of Earl's head is pretty scary with hair. Without hair, he probably looks like one of them missing links. Try to keep little Harley away from Earl until his hair grows back. Maybe you can get your friend JeWitch to lend you a wig for Earl. I know they are girlie wigs, but then Earl probably won't notice and neither will DUI. The only danger is if DUI gets so drunk that when he see's Earl wearing one of JeWitch's wigs, he might think that JeWitch is trying to get back together with him. Maybe you can video tape that one for me. happy(needsawigtoo)shrink
Date: August 27, 2001
Dear Happyshrink, I've been dating a man faithfully for about 2 yrs. Last night I went out w/the girls, even though I really didn't want too! I started taking Wellbutrin about 3wks ago, but didn't think about any thing while I was in the bar w/my friends. I got trashed even though I didn't want to. I don't remember leaving the bar, but remember being in my friends apt. the rest is hazy. well, It seems that I had some kind of sexual relation w/one of the boys that was there. I would never in my right mind ever cheat
on my b-friend. That is my worst fear, but yet I've done it. W/out even a
thought or care as to what the consequences would be! Need-less to say my
b-friend pretty much guessed what happened when I started to tell him, he
flipped out, didn't even let me speak, but told me he could already guess.
I am so disgusted w/myself for doing this to someone I love soo much!
I can barely handle the reality of it all. I can't stand what I've
done. I can barely stand myself! I guess I need help, but I have no money
to see a counselor or psychiatrist. & I doubt insurance will cover me
again. Why do I take the alcohol to excess, I can't Dear Losing control, You can't undo your mistake, but you can make sure that it won't happen again. Clearly you should not be drinking if it makes you lose control. It is never a good idea to combine alcohol with psychoactive medications even if there is no warning of side effects or adverse reactions. If abstaining from drinking is something that will be difficult for you, you could consider attending an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Getting your boyfriend back is a bit more complicated. I suggest you write him a letter where you tell him the things you told me. Let him know that you would understand if he never wants to see you again, but that you would hope that in time he could forgive you. If he doesn't forgive you Losing control, you will eventually have to move on with your life. That means forgiving yourself and learning from your mistakes. Trust can take a lifetime to build and it can be destroyed in an instant. That is an important lesson and one that can change your life losing control. Use this experience as a means of becoming the person you want to become. Good luck and please feel free to write again. happy(tryingtolearnfromhismistakestoo)shrink
Dear Happy, Edna spent the week at my house .. her and Bubba had a fight. While I was away she answered my phone and took a message for me. This is what it said. "JeWitch, someone called from the Gunya College. She said your Pabst Beer is normal." JeWitch Dear JeWitch, You are drinking Pabst Beer in the year 2001? I would have figured you for a Heineken or a Coors Lite person. Well, maybe that Gunya College you go to is a bit behind in the times. Glad to hear the PAP smear was normal too! happy(stricklyaseltzerman)shrink
Date: August 26, 2001
Dear Mr. Happy Shrink, This is all new to me, I was recommended to this site by a friend. I think its a great idea to write to you and say what's on my mind, and I thank you for that. Here's what's on my mind... I'm only a 22 year old women that still lives at home with Mommy and daddy. I've been through a lot in past, I feel like its affecting me now as the days go on. I was a very heavy child, Lets just put it this way I was pretty much the heaviest girl in my school from elementary through high school. I had no boyfriend, although I had a ton of friends both male and female. I was made fun of and pushed around. I am and still are a very lonely person. I still at the age of 22 have no boyfriend nor have I ever had one. I lost a lot of my weight, well over 100 pounds, I'm proud of myself but I get greedy on it and want more. When I look in the mirror I see a fat girl. I feel like I've accomplished so much yet, I'm going no where. I never went to dances or even on a date with someone. I see all my friends with there mates. They are happy at times yet sad on other occasions. I want that, I want someone to share my thoughts with and be loved back. I always feel that society has this big ego on looks and I cant get out of it, People say I'm a beautiful person and shouldn't have that thought in my head. I can't describe it my body changed , but not my mind. How do I deal with this?. I have other issues to this story as well about my family life. Being an overweight child I was always home and had friends , but never communicated to them as much as I should of. I have a lot of hate towards some of my family members. In the past I was the one always home doing the cooking and cleaning taking care of the family. Basically at a young age being a slave to everyone else. Everyone expects so much from me , I just don't want to do it anymore. I'm only 22 but I feel like I've done enough. I come from an Italian house hold were the women does the cleaning and cooking and I always done that. Nowadays its a laid back situation. Things aren't like that. It's an equal household. I say I'm not gonna do it, yet I just do it anyway. I just feel like I don't want to do anything at all. I always blame some of my family about my past, yet I cant deal with the fact that I just need to forget about it and move on. How do I deal with this? The hate towards my family for making me miss out on my childhood life, or was it the fact I was a heavy child and was embarrassed of appearance? I could go on about my life with other issues, This is just the main chapter of what I'm feeling. Its funny I'm a very happy person most of the time and I present myself in that way. I have a lot of friends I love my friends and family they are my world. A friend of mine once told me I hide behind my smile. I'm starting to believe that. It's opened my thoughts to what I try to hide. Thankyou for listening to me Sincerely, Confused Dear Confused, For someone who has spent most of her life hiding behind a smile, you have shared a lot of very personal and difficult feelings with me. That indicates that you can share with others as well. You need to do more of that confused. You may not be able to reclaim your childhood and teenage years, but you are still very young and capable of reaching out for all that life has to offer. I have a few suggestions. You might want to consider moving out and being on your own. While your family may treat you better now than in the past, you still seem trapped in old behaviors and old identities. Moving out won't change everything, but it could help you to discover yourself without "Mommy and Daddy." You might also want to consider seeing a psychotherapist. Not only can this help you to express your feelings but it can also give you some insight as to why it's so hard see yourself as someone other that the "heaviest girl in school." Despite losing over 100 pounds on your body, you have still retained that weight in your mind. It's time to get rid of the "psychological weight" that prevents you from having the kind of life and relationships you long for. Lastly Confused, look into situations for meeting new people. At age 22 there are still many opportunities out there for doing that. Find new friends who don't remember you as "that overweight girl in high school." While you may be very popular with old friends, you continue to be the person that always smiles and laughs on the outside and doesn't need to be listened to. You need to find friends who are willing to see you as being more complex than that. You need more friends who you can really talk to about how you feel and what you want out of life. You need friends who will help you to get what you want out of life. Please let me know what you think. Sorry for the long delay in answering. happy(gettingwhathewantsoutoflife)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, I used to be a stockholder of GTE which morphed into Verizon when it merged with Bell Atlantic. Verizon Sucks! Sincerely, Judiblueye PS Guess I was right about taking August off, HuH? Dear Judiblueye, It's good to hear from you after being off the net. How did you guess that I "might have been" referring to Verizon? You must be on that "Psychic Friends Hot Line" again. I'm not surprised. Lot's of people do that in August when their shrinks are away on vacation. Let me tell you that August was no vacation for this happyshrink. It's good to be back. happy(lookingforwardtoarealvacationnextyear)shrink
Dear Happy, I has worried and worried with your words. First off the word "flossing". Me an' Momma looked it up in the dicshunary cuz we coulddent understand bout strings and between teeth and stuff been thar all day. Ain't nobody in the trailer park member what "original" teeth is. An' anything between chopper teeth is saved fer later but deffnitely don't make it thar all day. An' nobody would think o' lassoin' it with string. Dicshunary sayd floss were "soft thread of silk or mercerized cotton for embroidery". Ain't none o' us node why someone would embroidery teeth. An as fer Harley and "oral hygiene". Axed Edna, Jewitch an' Momma an' ain't none of us node what hygene is, though we is all experts on "oral". So we figgerd you was talkin' bout givin' head to a feller named Gene. An' tho we no she be needin' it, we figger she got a few years to learn the finer points. An' as fer learnin' 'em from Mary and Harold......you gots ta be kiddin'. Gind Rinker Dear Gind, That's exactly what I meant. And yes, I was kidding about Mary and Harold. happy(sheesh)shrink
Date: August 25, 2001
Dear Happyshrink, I'm 52, my sister 55 and still our 76 year old mother treats us like children. My husband says I act like one in trying to please and do for her....in everything, all the time. Trying to correct her -- about anything-- brings about "the look" that I think only we daughters recognize. Strangers love her and, she is very nice. She just has a way of telling --everybody -- how to do it "right"... from driving (and she does not drive anymore), to how to treat our children or our grandchildren) Her pat answer to our rebuttals on anything is, "You don't understand until you've been there or done that..whatever it is" or "just wait until you get to be 76" (and neither of us wants to grow to be that old if we're going to be like the way she is right now). I love her; she is after all my Mom. She is a good woman, has had a difficult life, she's very opinionated. I think that dealing with her on a daily basis is finally getting the better of me. She is handicapped because of her scoliosis and artificial knee. She was widowed, remarried a man who travels back and forth between continents to see his children. I moved them into the house next to mine last year. They did live in the street behind us 2 years before that but moved in next door when that house became available. It was the best thing it was the best thing at the time. Now I just walk next door any time of day. I used to have to walk farther than that and before that I had to drive 5 hours to her home. Her "part-time" husband (they knew each other since childhood) travels back home to Europe for months at a time to see his children. She travels with him, but still needed my help packing, driving to and from the airport, house care, etc. Now the traveling is getting more difficult on her and he left by himself so she's by herself. I find myself looking forward to the days when, and if, he comes back. They argue quite a lot. When he is there they miss each other and are ready to get back together. I'm always in the middle of it and I like them both and she does not like it when I take his side. This "closeness" I think is getting to me. I try to "do" what needs to be done whether it's around the house or take her to all her doctors, Church meeting, whatever. Sometimes, though, it gets to be more than I can take. If I don't come over during the day she calls and ask me what I'm doing all by myself, anyway, and to come over. If I tell her I'm doing laundry, daily household chores, whatever, her answer is always that there shouldn't be so much for me to do since it's just me and my husband. I don't want to hurt her feelings. I like being in my own home and do the things at my pace. I am awfully behind because I am forever tired, it seems. I go to her house, do for her or her things and come home tired and most of the time very frustrated. It's really no use explaining things to her anyway, but I don't seem to remember that until I've tried explaining something... to my detriment. It's like she does not understand. I took her away from my sister's town (almost 4 years ago now) because my sister was on the verge of loosing it...actually, she and Mom both were. Now I am just about there. My sister had always been the tower of strength and I never understood her complaints to me because Mother would tell me her side of the story, and I guess I always believed my mother. Now I understand what all my sister went through, although it's not as caustic between us as it was between them. When I vent my frustrations to my sister, she says, "Ah, huh, and you never would believe what I told you." I never saw my mother as anything but "my mother"... not a person capable of driving others the way she does. That doesn't seem as such a bad thing, because she does a lot of good things, it's just too, too much at times.... mostly, most of the time. But now I understand how my sister came to feel like that and all the other family members who have lived with her for "a time." I always thought it was just "them." Now that I've given you "some" background, my question is, "how do I deal with her respectably?' " It's to the point where even my husband would like to take a break from her. He says I definitely need to. He says I get wrapped up in what my mother wants and she is very needy. He says I've made her my primary concern and he has to protect me. I feel like I have to take care of her and can not leave her alone because she's something might happen to her. She fell and hurt her arm not too long ago when we were not home. I really hate it that I was not there even though I left all the neighbor numbers. Still...we have to deal with her arm and all the caring that goes with that. Before there was knee replacement, then she had heart problems and walked around with a heart monitor. They found nothing, yet she carries her heart pills with her. I try to tell her she does not need them, yet deep inside, I don't want to leave her unattended or without them. I try to get my husband to watch what he says to her, make my children call her regularly, etc., and sometimes that's not the best thing to do, as I've been told. I'm nearly at wits end....certainly I am today...that's why I am writing you. I can't seem to discuss her with others, because she is my mom and very nice...it's just I need a way to deal with her on a daily basis and save my own sanity. Anyway, do you have any words of wisdom or help for me? Right now her husband is out of the country so I only have to take care of her, instead of both, and it's really wearing me thin, this time, I should probably say, again. I think I could handle things better if I did not have to deal with daily headaches. Have had them for the last 2-3 years. I've just had my second cranial EPIDURAL 2 days ago to try to help get rid of them. Any advice would be accepted, gratefully. I'll sign this...a 50 year old child? Dear 50 year old child, Your relationship with you mother is not uncommon. Many moms and dads find it hard to give up the parenting role even when their children have grandchildren. It is highly unlikely (if not down right impossible) that you will get your mother to change her behavior so all you can do is work on changing your own behaviors and responses. Here are a couple of quick suggestions: In the case of a conflict with your mom and her husband, don't take sides. Just say, "I'm keeping out of it." When she gives you suggestions, tell her that you will think about it. Don't debate. Then do as you please. When she preaches, nod and smile and tell her what a great mom she is. Then do as you please. When she makes decisions about her own life like carry heart pills, let her do as she pleases. When she says, "you don't understand until you have been there or done that," say to her, "How right you are." Then do as you please. When she say, "Just wait until you get to be 76," say to her, "I hope I have your wisdom." Then do as you please. In a nutshell 50 year old child, accept your mom for who and what she is, and live you life for you and not her. Don't try and change her and don't expect that you will ever please her either. She will always be critical, needy, unsympathetic to your needs, and demanding of your time. Set some limits on the time you spend with her. She may not like it, but you will save your sanity even if it means having a little bit of extra guilt. Guilt comes with the territory. Lastly 50 year old child Rome wasn't built in a day, always sit up straight and never go out in the night air with a wet head. That's what my mom told me about 2 months before she died. happy(52yearoldchild)shrink
Dear Happy, I have a BIG problem. Although this sounds like an Edna letter its true. I can't find one of my frogs. I think he jumped out of the aquarium and I can't find him. Either that or the maintenance man stole him. Anyway this is going on two days now. I'm sure he's dead because he's an aquatic frog, but the problem is that I'm going on vacation next week. He's gonna start to smell pretty ripe. What should I do? BeeBalm Dear BeeBalm I know that this letter was written to me about a month ago and by now, the maintenance man has written you a ransom note or the place is stinking pretty bad. I had an aquatic frog jump out of my fish tank once and I didn't find him until he started to stink. I guess that's all part of God's plan for finding little lost frogs. Let me know if you ever found him and beware of maintenance men that say Bud - Wise - Er. happy(holdinghisnose)shrink
Dear Happy, It seems like a year ago that it was so dry here the snakes was moving inta the sink drains to git a little water. Now we are droundin in our livinrooms. Well I's exaggeratin', but it is up ta our second step and the statu o' Ronald Reagan's crotch, when it come a downpour. The moskitoes are so strong, I's worrys bout them carryin' Harley off if I leave her outside too long. But the wors problem, is the pickup. My Earl axadently shot out the rite side window when he was loadin' his gun. He put a garbage bag on it, but it leaked and it jus cain't dry out an' mushrooms is a growin' and the thing smells like a sasqwatch in rut. I was wondren if you node of a better garbage bag than Hefty. Gind Rinker Dear Gind, I don't know of any garbage bag that will withstand buckshot. Considering the letter I got from you and Beebalm, I'm thinking of starting a support group for people with stink problems. happy(HimynameishappyshrinkandISTINK!)shrink
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