Postings from August 25-31, 2001

Date: July 27, 2001

I (happyshrink) will be taking some time off for about 2 weeks starting July 27, 2001. No, I'm not disappearing for the entire month of August like most psychotherapists. I'm moving to New Jersey (the Garden State) and I will be off line for those 2 weeks. I was thinking of having JeWitch or St. Theresa take over my web page but I decided against that once I sobered up. I am swearing off pìna coladas for good.  Please continue to write me letters and I will answer them as soon as I get back.

Date: July 26, 2001    - I'll be back in a couple of weeks!

Dear Mr. Happy Shrink,

I am feeling extremely lonely, even though I am married with kids.  My feelings don't really come from the fact that my children are both out of the house, but more from the lack of time my husband and I spend together.  I work most of the week and Saturday from 10am to 8pm, Mondays, Wednesday's and Sundays I am home all day, my husband works days and in the evenings he teaches a martial arts class. Our conversations contain very basic topics, how was your day at work?, who will be in class?, where are you going this weekend?, what do you want to eat?, are we going to have sex?. Anything beyond this is usually pointless, he doesn't have the time of the desire to engage in much conversation, and besides, there are usually other people around.  Time alone is when he is tired, sleeping, watching TV, eating or
wanting to have sex.  

Am I missing something or wanting too much?  My husband talked about how nice it would be when the kids were grown and out of the house, the time we would have together, the things we could do because we weren't paying for them any more.  I don't see it.  I am at a time when I would like to really explore our relationship, not feel as if my time with him is after everyone else, or everything else has been satisfied.  I don't feel important, and I know that if I say something to him he will just get angry, and dismiss my feelings.  I am waiting to feel like I mean something
to him, more than just something that is there when everything or everyone else goes away. I could assume the role of student yet again, and share him in class, but I want private time, good private time.  Not just sex, I need substance. 

We have had Monday nights together, he gets home from work , he is tired, we eat, we watch TV he has mentioned that we could go to the pool hall and play pool, he likes to drink, I don't.  He is forty-one, I will be forty soon, surely sitting at the bar and playing pool is a thing of the past. Starting in September he will be teaching yet another martial arts class. He tells me to think of the money.  Why?  We won't do anything with it unless it's something for the house. I would like a man's point of view, since maybe I am asking and wanting too much in a relationship.  However, before anyone quotes or talks about Venus and Mars, I just want to say, "PLEASE DON'T"!!!! I've heard all I want to hear about that.  Also, I'm sure someone will say something like, "If your unhappy, then leave".  Well, that's an easy,  don't have to think about
anything, answer.  I have fourteen years with this man, (JUST LEAVING), would
mean I didn't even try, and quite frankly it would mean loosing everything I
helped pay for. I DON'T THINK SO!. 

I am a little angry, so if I come across in a bad way, I am sorry. I know that I can't make him do something he doesn't want to do, nor can I deny the desires and feelings within myself.  So, maybe going out and creating a life for myself and being home when it suites me, and screw him when he whines that he misses me, would be a good approach.  Because what he really means is, "I don't really miss you and we won't do anything together except the usual, but I can't stand it that you aren't home waiting for me when I have nothing better to do".  I guess I had better end this now before I say something I will regret. BECAUSE I HAVEN'T SO FAR. oops.

Married(andreallywantstofeelimportantandlovedand...)Woman

Dear Married Woman,

You have a right to want more from your relationship with your husband. In addition to the amount of time you spend together, it is important that you spend time that is satisfying to the both of you. This is a reasonable desire, however that doesn't mean it will be easy to get. It sounds to me that you and your husband have fallen into a "rut." You have occupied yourselves with the day to day activities of life without spending time communicating about feelings, desires, hopes and dreams. Work has become the focus of both your activities and your relationship is now secondary. Getting back on track will not be easy Married Woman, but I agree with you that you don't just throw 14 years out the window without trying to make it better.

I have a couple of suggestions that might help. One of the problems in your relationship is communication. Marriage counseling can help you to do that a lot better. It can also help the two of you determine if you really want be together. It may even help you to say things that you need to say even if you feel you will regret it. Thoughts and feelings that are withheld will continue to bother you.

Another thing you need to think about is finding some common interests that you can share. If shooting pool and drinking is something that you don't want to do with your husband, what can you do together? People come together in the beginning of their relationship with some common interests. One way that marriages fail is that husbands and wives common interests disappear or become overshadowed by day to day life. Find some activities that will help the both of you to feel that you can grow together and experience a common satisfaction. This is not easy Married Woman, if you find something that the two of you can be passionate about, you might find your husband spending less time at work and more time with you. Please keep me updated. I will be back in a couple of weeks.

happy(caughtupindaytodaymoving)shrink  

Dear Happy,

Harley an' me was doin' the stroller thing around the park headed to the Reagan memorial playground up by the washhouse. As we rounded the corner by Mary an' Harold's they was outside and there was corn shucks on thar plates on thar pic nick table. An' they was layin back on the lawn chairs with the foot part. But then comes the weird part. They was tryin' ta pull out thar teeth with a string by themselves. You ever heard o' such a thing. I didn't see any teeth come out, but they was really workin them strings an' I hadda git otta there. I decided that when Harley's teeth come in, we're gonna encourage her ta keep a few o' her favorite ones. The world gonna be differnt when she growed up an' she might need em.

Gind Rinker

Dear Gind,

Mary and Harold were "flossing" and not trying to pull their teeth out. When you eat corn, sometimes a piece of it will get in between your teeth. This usually doesn't happen with dentures but those adults that still have their original teeth need to keep them clean. Those strings are pushed and pulled in between the teeth and get out all the stuff that's been in there for the past day. You can learn a thing or two from Mary and Harold.

I am glad that you and Earl are planning on teaching little Harley good oral hygiene. God knows she will need it.

happy(andflossing)shrink

Date: July 25, 2001

Hello Happyshrink,

I came across your website; very interested to see if you could give me some info/advice on some things? I have been a sufferer of anxiety/panic disorder for about 10yrs now, I want to face this without meds, I have been on meds before and still get the symptoms. I've learned that only I can truly overcome this! I'm asking you for info/advice on doing this by myself? You are a professional in this and that's why I'm asking. I need to know techniques to use to overcome this! Please let me know asap. Thanks!

amy

Dear amy,

How to treat panic attacks has a lot to do with their causes. If they were precipitated by a stressful or traumatic situation, it would best to engage in some form of psychotherapy. If they seem to be without cause, then further assessment may be needed and possibly medication or cognitive techniques are indicated. 

I don't know how severe your panic attack are amy and I don't know how good an idea it is to try and overcome them by yourself. I can appreciate your not wanting to be on medication and perhaps you can speak with a therapist who can give you alternative treatments. There are some relaxation and calming techniques that cognitive therapists use to help people overcome panic attacks. In order to determine if you are a good candidate for these techniques, you need to have a good evaluation. 

Often times people suffering from panic attack will go to their family doctor who will prescribe either an anti-anxiety or anti-depressant. They do not get evaluated by a psychiatrist and their conditions tend to continue. If this is what has happened to you amy, I would strongly suggest you get a thorough evaluation by a psychiatrist. After hearing the psychiatrist's recommendation, you can decide what treatment options you want to consider. Good luck amy and let me know how things work out.

happy(willbelesspanicedafterhemoves)shrink 

Date: July 24, 2001

Dear Sleepy,

All of the above may be factors in your new sleep pattern. Depression can make someone sleep more. This can prolong and even worsen the depression. Often it is recommended for those suffering from "Major Depression" that they limit their amounts of sleep. I don't know if you have been more depressed sleepy. Only you can determine that. You might also want to talk to your therapist when you see him next.

If you lost a lot of sleep before your boyfriend went into rehab, your fatigue could be your body telling you that it needs to rejuvenate. Sometimes during long periods of stress and demand, our bodies will function on very little sleep. Once, the stress or crisis has ended, the body will require more sleep to get back into a healthy state. 

Lastly, Vioxx can cause tiredness and fatigue. I would consult with your physician about this and perhaps he can suggest taking the medication at different times of the day. I don't know if any one of these issues are a factor. Perhaps two or more are factors. It's worth checking out medically and psychologically. Let me know what you come up with.

happy(sleepdeprivedduringthepackingphase)shrink

 

	Dear Happyshrink, They say it is ALL IN THE WATER. I am beginning to think they are right.   Love you,  Edna
BEFORE		AFTER

Dear Edna,

I think your water has some "Additives" in it.

happy(moreisn'talwaysbetter)shrink

Date: July 23, 2001

Dear Happyshrink,

My aunt, we will call her "Jane,"  must be developing a mental disorder and
I'm having a terrible time understanding her. Her behavior is odd. Sometimes
she is happy and then she is angry and makes false accusations. I noticed
that she is very paranoid and is very forgetful. It seems that she has a poor
short term memory. She can become obsessed with certain issues and is
deceitful. I'm trying to figure out what is going on. Any advice?

Sincerely,

"Mary"

Dear Mary,

If there has never been a prior history of mental illness or alcoholism, aunt Jane might be suffering from a variety of medical conditions that may bring about mood changes, forgetfulness and paranoia. The most obvious ones that comes to mind is Alzheimer's disease, senile dementia and organic brain syndrome. The behaviors you identified can also be symptoms of a thyroid condition or other hormonal abnormalities. Some advanced stages of alcoholism can also show similar symptoms.

My advice to you is to get your aunt to her family physician and get a full examination including blood work. From there her physician my want to have her evaluated by a neurologist or other specialist depending on what found. I would try to rule out all medical possibilities before considering that she may suffer from a mental illness. Don't delay because most of the conditions I mentioned are treatable. Please let me know what you find out.

happy(andtreatable)shrink

Date: July 22, 2001

Dear Happyshrink,

Ever since I lost my job about a year ago I have been doing odd jobs and keeping busy. Lately when I had attended a rigorous training program for pharmaceutical sales in the month of May. I passed all my exams and then they gave me a territory in an unsafe neighborhood, I resigned and am now unable to sleep and constantly worry and do not know how to go forward and get my mind off of what to do next. I went to a psychiatrist that gave me Klonopine for sleep and I am so out of it the next day. I tried Serzone and I get the dry heaves daily. I feel as if I am getting worse instead of better. Drugs do not seem to agree with my system any suggestions??

M

Dear M,

Being out of work and having the uncertainty of what you are going to do in the future can make anyone feel anxious. Medication can sometimes ease the intensity of the anxiety, but it doesn't change your situation. There might be a medication out there for you with less side effects but that's not the long term answer. Until you are working in a job that makes you feel satisfied, safe and secure, your worrying will probably continue. I suggest you see a career counselor who may be able to give you some advice on how to either market your current skills or develop new ones. The situation you faced with the pharmaceutical sales company was unfortunate to say the least. Are there other jobs for someone with your skills? Are there other pharmaceutical companies you can go to? Find out with the help of a career counselor. There are no quick fixes here M and it may take some time. Hang in there and please feel free to write me again.

happy(beeninthesamesituationmyself)shrink

Dear Edna,

Target's loss is Wal-Mart's gain. I gotta go because I'm feeling real itchy right now.

happy(leavingtotakeadvantageofaredlightspecial)shrink

Date: July 21, 2001

Dear Happyshrink,

I had a somewhat unusual (for me anyway) situation come up and wondered if you heard of this before. I have been seeing my current psychiatrist for approximately 1 year. A few months ago I began to receive bills from his office. At first I ignored them because I was sure that it was just the balance that the insurance company owed. Then, when the amount began to increase, I called the office and was told that the bill was for telephone calls. This wasn't anything that I was prepared for and needless to say I was very angry about the situation. I spoke with my psychiatrist who said that the calls were "lengthy" (about 10 minutes for 2 calls on different days) and that he had to charge me for that service. But when I spoke with the insurance company, they said that it was not a billable service and that they would not have reimbursed him for that service. When I went to my last appointment, he had taken those charges off my bill but explained that my lesson should be that I know in advance that my arrangement is with the provider and not the insurance company. I should expect to be charged extra for additional services that are not part of what he is allowed to be reimbursed for by insurance. 

I am glad that he took off the charges and  am also glad that I confronted him about this, but I have been left with the feeling of serious mistrust about seeking future help from him because of this. I was referred to him by insurance and understood that my only obligation to him was for a co-pay amount. Is this other part true? Can a psychiatrist just charge for whatever they consider "additional" services without the patient knowing about this? I am afraid that I will never again feel ok to call him even if I do need him because if 10 minutes cost me $60, I can't imagine what a longer call might mean. I am not often in a crisis situation and so I do not as a general rule make use of phone time as a means of getting services. However, I do feel that this particular avenue is now closed. If you have some thoughts about this, I would appreciate it.

Surprised Patient

Dear Surprised Patient,

I would go back to your insurance company and find out from them if your psychiatrist is allowed to charge for these services under their provider agreement. If you are seeing an out of network physician which is allowed in "Point of Service" health insurance policies, then he can charge you whatever he wants and your insurance company will only reimburse their own approved procedures at a rate that they deem is "reasonable." In those cases you are responsible for the rest of the charges. Your physician has an obligation though to let you know in advance of all charges including phone consultations. Just because physicians should inform patients of special charges, doesn't mean that they do this as a rule.

If your psychiatrist is part of an HMO or In-Network Service, then he signed a provider agreement with the insurance company to only charge for approved services. In this instance your psychiatrist would be in violation of the provider agreement he made with the insurance company and they should inform him of this as well as his billing options. I understand that your psychiatrist's time is valuable and even 10 minutes is significant. While doctors and all clinical professionals are basically charging for their time, they still have to play by the rules. Make sure your psychiatrist plays by the rules and if he doesn't, get a new one.

happy(playingbytherules)shrink

Dear Happyshrink,

I need help with getting a counselor or someone to talk to about life problems.

BP.

Dear BP,

If you need to speak to a counselor, I would look in your community for family service agencies. They might be listed in the Yellow Pages under "Social Services" or "Counseling." If you are a student, you can speak to a guidance counselor about referring you for counseling. You can also speak to your family physician. There are lots of options for seeking help BP. Don't just sit on the fence. Get the help you need.

happy(offthefence)shrink 

Dear Happy,

We had our middle o' the month park meetin' up by the wash house last night. We has decided ta put up a statue o' our hero Ronald Reagan at the front between the wash house and the teeder boards. We all threw in $2 and has $150 ta spen. There was one o him with his hand on the Bibl, but it was $700 an it was only 3 feet hi, so weeda hadda put it on a hill or somthin and there ain't no hills in Orlando. But they had a big 8 foot one o' him in a bathin' suit on waterskis for sale for $149.95. So, I bought it an' they loaded it in My Earl's pickup. (broke off one ski adoin' it though). So when I got it back ta the park, Dui had ta cut off the other ski with a hammer an' metal thing. When the boys slid it off the truck an' had him stood up straight, they celabrated with a six pack. 

Just as Bubba smashed the last can on his forhead, ol' Ronny fell plum over on his face. Now we couldnt take the chance ol' Ronny a fallen on no youngins a playin' on the teeders wile thar mommas is washin' thar close. So. we dug him in ta the nees an' with his legs apart the youngins is a crawlin' through 'em an' ahangin' on his tow rope arm an' he is givin 'em so much fun. Everbody is so prowd o' what I done. Harley is gonna learn bout me bein the trailer park hero. An I feel real good about mysef.

Gind Rinker

Dear Gind,

Maybe you can take a picture of "ol' Ronny" in front of the wash house and send it to Nancy Reagan. I think it would make her feel all fuzzy inside.

happy(feelingfuzzyoutside)shrink

Date: July 20, 2001

Dear Happy,

Thanks for your advice. The reason I was unwilling to split the expenses 50-50 was because I felt that arrangement would also damage our relationship. I would resent paying half of everything while her husband is home consuming food, electricity, watching cable TV, etc. My cousin's husband is a decent person, but I strongly feel that each adult in the house is responsible for making their own way. None of us factor children into the expenses. His 12 year old daughter is moving with us in September and I don't have a problem with that. I don't think they should pay more for her. I found out that he was not agreeable to my cousin's request either. He said he would feel like less of a man having two women pay for everything.

She apologized and we agreed to keep everything as is. I've decided to stay until December even though their unstableness makes me uneasy. He's actively seeking employment and they're also expecting a baby next year. I'm going to hang in there with them for five months and hope it works out the way we planned. I have considered leaving sooner but I don't want to leave them stuck. In a way, I feel stuck. We all get along great, but I would prefer to have my own place, so I can have peace. I'm happy for them, I just wish I wasn't in the middle of it.

DHS

Dear DHS,

I am glad you were able to work things out with your cousin and her husband. I do think it would be best for you to find your own place. The uncertainty of their situation will eventually take its toll. Five months is a long time to feel unsettled. I hope it works out for you, but if you find things are not working out, don't hesitate to change your plans. Good luck and let me know how things work out.

happy(gettingsettled)shrink 

Franny replies:

Dear Happy,

I have tried on several occasions to talk to my mother but I don't know what
to say. When I talk about it, I can't begin to stress how bad it is, and I
can see mom telling my it's just my period or something. How do I talk to
her? What do I say?

Franny

Dear Franny,

I would write your mom a letter. The fact that you took the time to write your thoughts down on paper may have a more powerful impact on her. Let her know that you are really hurting and you need some professional help. Tell her that your condition has been going on for some time now and you fear it will get worse. Another thing you might want to do if your mom is still unresponsive is to talk to your father. I know that may be even more difficult, but you need to get help any way you can. Are there any other adults in your life you can talk to? Is there a family doctor, a teacher or a minister you can talk to? Find someone who is listening Franny. You got me to listen to you. You can get others too! Please stay in touch.

happy(andstilllistening)shrink

Dear Judi,

We need at least one month to keep up with all the Jenny Jones and Jerry Springer tapes we made during the year. If we didn't get to watch those programs, how would we grow as professionals? ....and by the way, I kinda like sweaters myself just as long as they don't itch and they can be machine washed.

happy(hearingthemoaningandscreaming)shrink

Date: July 19, 2001

Hi Happyshrink, 

For about a year now I've been quite low and I was hoping maybe you could
provide me with some info on depression. I've not consulted a Doctor at all.
I don't really have the confidence to do something like that so currently I'm
just reading up as much as I can on the net. I'd be very grateful if you
could help me. Thankyou.

SH

Dear SH,

Depression is the most common type of mental illness. It is not just one disorder though. Rather, it is a number of conditions that have varied degrees of severity, symptoms and causes. There have been hundreds of books written on the topic and the information out there is enormous. Nothing I can say in a couple of paragraphs can really help your situation. I would urge you to seek help SH. You need to be evaluated and a plan for treating your depression must be made by a clinician. Reading about depression will not help you in the least. All it will do is prolong your unhappiness. I can tell you that depression left untreated is likely to get worse.

Find a way to get over your confidence issues. Perhaps you can start by talking to your family physician. He/she might be able to give you a referral and even prescribe something that can help you in the short term. Good luck SH and let me know how things turn out.

happy(whenpeoplegetthehelptheyneed)shrink

Dear JeWitch,

"Maybe not" sounds like a good idea.

happy(maybenot)shrink

Date: July 18, 2001

Dear Happyshrink,

I have some questions for you, if you could help. As a teen, I used to see a psychologist but, I can't remember what I was diagnosed with, except that I was suicidal and I cut my self a lot to get rid of my pain on the inside. A lot of that has gone away now. I still get depressed, but not real bad and not constantly. My problem is that I have three or four different sides of me that come out. I took a test on-line that said that I may have a possible borderline personality disorder. 

My moods tend to go from one extreme to another, meaning that one minute I feel ok, but if someone or something makes me mad, it sends me into a sort of zone-like state to where I can't focus on anything but being mad. When I get mad it triggers a, sort of, rage within me that I can't see past, although, I don't violently act out the rage. If in an argument, I can only do so for a period of a few minutes before I feel like it's pointless and I just become silent and mentally, for some reason, start to think up ways to cause harm to the person that has made me mad. Another thing about this, that I have noticed, is that only certain people trigger this and if I'm driving and someone cuts me off, for example, I sometimes try to do to them something equally as bad or worse. 

I would like to get these feelings under control. I go through cycles to where I, on a bad day, don't want to talk about any of this to anyone, but on a better day, I feel like talking about it. I'm obviously having a better day right now, because I am writing this, but I'm having trouble now and then. When I go through one of these cycles, it is kind of like a dark side comes out in me and has lasted as long as a couple of years at a time. (please ask, if you want me to explain this part further)

I don't know why I am like this, although, some mental disorders are in my family. I don't actually get into fights, or into trouble with the law. When I am feeling normal, I am the kind of person who can't begin to imagine hurting anyone, and am told by many people that I am a very nice guy and easy to get along with. Everyone thinks that I am a very laid back person ( I have been accused of being high, even though, I am not). I am not sure what to do about this, I do not have health insurance, I cannot afford to go see a psychologist regularly, but can, most likely, afford certain treatments if it is medical, for example. I go through a lot of mood swings, and also have another side of myself that is very feminine and shows up once in a while.

Sorry that this is so lengthy, but I hope that you can, possibly, shed some light on my problems and advise me as to what to do about them. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely, slayer

Dear slayer,

Some of your symptoms sound like borderline personality disorder, however in order to get an accurate diagnosis, you need a psychiatric evaluation. If I had to guess, there might be several diagnoses that fit. Your symptoms also may indicate a history of early childhood trauma which may have been in the form of physical or sexual abuse. In any event slayer, you need to get help and you can't afford not to! 

Your condition may be an accident waiting to happen. How long do you think you can control your anger. It is almost as if you have a volcano inside you that you are trying your best not to have erupt. So far you have been able to control it but as time goes on it may not be that easy. Don't let this condition ruin your life slayer. Get the help you need now. Your medical insurance should at least pay for a psychiatric evaluation and even if you don't have medical insurance, you can look into clinics in your area that will charge on a sliding scale. You wouldn't ignore a toothache. Don't ignore this. Please let me know what they psychiatrist tells you. Good luck.

happy(therearenoeasyanswerstodifficultsituations)shrink 

Dear Happyshrink,

I have more interviews next week and have been trying out a few resignation letters. How do you think this one sounds?

Please accept this as official notice of resignation from your company. My last day of work will be August 1, 2001. I thank you for the initial opportunity to work for your company, but I was not prepared for the following incidents and enlightenments:

1. That you were God and your life is more important than anyone else's in the office and that is why we have to take our holidays when you take yours. You close the office when you take your holidays, as you do not trust any of your employees to run the company in your absence. You do not pay us for all the days we cannot work. On top of that, you take your holidays when tickets to anywhere are most expensive. Since you and your wife have just purchased a 1.7 million dollar home and completely renovated it, I can see why this doesn't concern you.

2. That I had to re-learn WordPerfect, an ancient program from my youth because you won't spend the money to update your computing needs.

3. That I would take care of all your accounting needs on paper ledger because there just isn't a computer contractor cheap enough who will actually start and finish the project because of your colossal demands. A dollar can only buy so much. God knows you would not just take a simple route and install QuickBooks, as it would not be something that you had control over creating and could not make someone's life miserable in doing so..

4. That I was to work 8.25 hours on the clock per day with only one 45-minute lunch break. Other than that one break, I am chained to my desk and in full view of either you or your sister or your brother in law for the full day.

5. That all of our telephone conversations are taped and the only phone we are allowed to use for personal calls, when timed out, is in the reception area where there is absolutely no privacy. So when I call my doctor for a renewal of my birth control pills not only the whole company knows but so do your clients.

6. That at least once a week there is a crying, ranting, or quitting employee. And when someone with troubles walks out of your office you laugh at them behind their back.

7. When a sick day is taken, upon return to the office the third degree is given and you want to know every detail right down to the orientation of the huge cold sore on my upper lip (that would be stress from working in a place where all my basic human rights are taken away.)

8. That I was walking into George Orwell's 1984.

9. That you and your foot -stamping, emotionally erratic wife would openly argue in Italian in the office.

10. That working a 41.25-hour week with only one 45-minute break in the day would be so life-sucking

11. That when you moved me from accounting to order processing you saw it as a move up, even though I regressed to no computer at all, and was pulling faxes and counting words all day. And when I came to you saying that with ten years office experience it was too low level a job to keep my attention, you took it as an insult to your company, and spent the next three days pointing out every error I made. Did you ever hear of the theory where the intelligent child doesn't perform well in school because of BOREDOM?

12. Remember when another employee made a mistake and you called her stupid? And yet another employee needed recurring time off for nutritionist appointments as she wanted to deal with her weight problem and you said 'what is the point you'll only gain it back' and continued with 'how much do you weigh anyway?'

13. Overall, you are the most ignorant, small- minded man I have ever met. If having money means being as out of touch with reality as you are, then I beg to be poor for the rest of my life. You don't know what it is to have compassion and I don't think you have ever recognized any of your employees as human beings. I suggest that, since I am the third employee to resign this month, you may want to change your 'nobody is indispensable' attitude and maybe have a staff meeting to see what is going on in front of your eyes every day. It is pretty sad that you have created an office with absolutely no privacy, where either you, your sister, or your brother in law can see and hear every employee at all times, that you can't pick up on the loathing for you. If, as you say, you have been running your company this way for 30 years and nobody has said anything to you yet, either you are deaf, stupid, or you speak another dialect where ' rude uncompassionate asshole' is a compliment. I hope that by now, being severely understaffed, the company crashes down on the roof of your newly renovated 1.7 million dollar home and that you are left working as house servants to the next people who have to buy out your bankrupt asses.

On a final note, I wish every success to the remaining employees and hope that their second and third job interviews get positive results because they have already had first ones. We really aren't going to the doctor or dentist as much as you think we are, moron.

JeWitch

Dear JeWitch,

Please send me your employer's address so when the slew of résumés come to me via email from all the eager job applicants, I can forward them appropriately. Edna and Gind are already preparing for their interview.

happy(mayjustneedtoseeadoctororadentist)shrink

Date: July 17, 2001

Date: July 16, 2001

Dear Puzzled Parent,

Clearly, you and you daughter are not communicating. After finding out about your daughter's plans you said nothing and went on a vacation. I don't understand how that would help. If you daughter is in distress about something, she needs to deal with it and not run away. What would help now is talking to your daughter and finding out what's wrong. If she isn't comfortable talking to you about it, then you can offer to send her for counseling. While it is important to respect your daughter's privacy, you are her mother. That means that when you find out that she may be doing something dangerous, you intervene and get her the help she needs. Talk to your daughter. Don't assume what she needs until you ask her what is going on. If you would like to write me back and let me know what she said, I would be happy to respond. Good luck.

happy(whenpeoplereallytalk)shrink