Postings from May 16-31, 2001
Date: May 31, 2001
Dear Happyshrink, I am very bored with my job, but am not in a position to leave it at this time. I have some financial obligations which must be taken care of and some medical expenses which would not otherwise be covered except for my insurance at work. I do not feel challenged and feel very unmotivated to do much of anything except sit and look at my computer (and write letters to you). I want to just leave, but I can't. What can I do to make my time each day more bearable until I can leave? ZZZZZZZ Dear ZZZZZZZ, Perhaps you can speak to your supervisor about giving you new or additional assignments. There are many people who spend most of their work day trying to goof off. Not only is this effort boring, but it's exhausting as well. People who are bored at work usually suffer from low energy levels outside of work as well. See if you can't keep busy even with work that might not be that challenging. It will make the day go by quickly and perhaps give you the energy to begin looking for another job. That might be the only true answer for you ZZZZZZZ but you will not accomplish it by writing letters to me or staring at your computer. You computer can be the source of job hunting as well as playing Free Cell. Look for a job and then write me another letter. We will have more interesting things to talk about after you get some job interviews. happy(championatFreecel)shrink
Happy, Edna and I were driving down the interstate when a state trooper pulled me over in Georgia. The trooper asked me if I realized I was speeding. Edna, being hard of hearing, asked, "What did he say?" I replied, "He asked if I knew I was speeding." The trooper then said, "Ma'am, may I see your license?" Edna says, "What did he say?" I was getting a WEE BIT ANNOYED and replied sharply, "He wants to see my driver's license!" The trooper looking at the license goes, "I see that you are from Florida, JeWitch. You know, the most annoying woman I ever met was from Florida." Edna asked, "What did he say?" I said, "HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU!!" JeWitch Dear JeWitch, Look at the bright side. The State Trooper didn't give you a ticket. He figured that driving with Edna from Georgia to Florida was penalty enough. happy(neverthatluckywithStateTroopers)shrink
Date: May 30, 2001
Dear Happyshrink, Do you think that having weight reduction surgery is a sign of weakness? I am a 33 year old female who has been dieting for years without success. I do not have good eating habits as a result and am now approximately 230 lbs overweight. I have always been very heavy, but not to this extent. I have talked with my family about having this surgery and my parents have both expressed varying degrees of disappointment that I can't just "buckle down" and lose weight with dieting. By the way, neither of them are heavy and never have been. They also have taken every opportunity to criticize my eating habits and the way I look and my older brother and older sister have also jumped on the bandwagon and begun to kid me about my weight. I am now torn between the desire to just lose the weight any way that I can and believing that I am just too weak to do it on my own. What do you think? Wants to be Thin for the First Time Ever Dear Wants to be Thin for the First Time Ever, Surgical procedures to reduce the size of your stomach and bypass a part of your small intestines have helped many morbidly obese people to lose large amounts of weight. It is not a miracle cure for obesity and not everyone is an ideal candidate for such a procedure. The surgery can help most people lose about two thirds of their excess weight. The rest is up to the person. I can't tell you if you are a good candidate but I would suggest you find out what hospitals in your area offer this procedure. The evaluation process is a two way street. They evaluate your physical and mental condition to assess if you are a good candidate. They also give you a complete orientation about the program and what you can expect so that you can decide if this is something you really want to do. The process of surgery, recovery and re-establishing a new relationship with food is by no means easy. Your family should not consider this an easy way out, however I don't know if they are really capable of being supportive. It sounds like they have made you feel very inadequate and that may not change until you do. This just may be something you are going to have to do yourself Wants to be Thin. I wish you luck and let me know if you decide to have the procedure. happy(Wantstobethintoo)shrink
Dear Happy, Well, I really screwed up this time. After nursin' Harley at the 2 o'clock feeding, I put on the TV, layed back in bed next ta my Earl, fired up a cig and accidentally falled asleep. I was awokened by our pit bull, Roy, a nudgin' me an' smelled the smoke. Lord-a-mercy, I caught the mattress o'fire. I snucked out o' bed an' got a glass o' water an' poured it on the smolder'n hole. It still kept smokin' . I runned to the front door an' let the dogs out, an' then got a pitcher o' water. When I poured it in the smokin' hole, I splashed up on my Earl. He popped straight up like a Jack-in-the-Box a screamin', "get the dogs out". I tol him "I already did.". He looked at me kinda funny and then said, "Grab hold o' the mattress and help me drag it out the back door". All the fuss woken' Harley up an' it took a hour ta get her back settled down. We ferget all about her. My Earl was extra tired and ended up late fer work an' we is without a mattress. What I was a wondrin' is, cuzzin the dogs don't trust me no more, they won't come back in the trailer. An' Snake says I kan't leavem outside. What should I do? Gind Rinker Dono Dear Gind, Maybe you and dogs just don't mix. Now that you have the responsibility of little Harley, I think you might consider giving the dogs away. I know that won't be easy given the fact that they are not house broken and pretty vicious, but I am sure that someone at the Circle K Trailer Park will be willing to give them a good home. Edna happened to hear the commotion and snapped a picture of little Harley during this crisis. I can't say for sure but she just might be suffering from trauma.
If the eyeballs continue to remain swollen, I would have Harley see a doctor Gind. happy(ShameonyouEdna)shrink
Date: May 29, 2001
Dear Happyshrink, I am trying to figure out if there is something wrong with me or not. I keep having these thoughts every time that I get sick that I have cancer. I have been very stressed because of thinking that I am sick. I think that I am sick because I have cancer, but I have been to a doctor and he says that I am fine. I have called his office 3 times this week and he wants me to see a psychiatrist now, but I don't know if it is because he thinks that I'm crazy or if he thinks that only a psychiatrist can deliver the bad news to me. I am very worried about this to the point that I feel very dizzy a lot of the time. I am afraid that if I go and see a psychiatrist that he will only tell me that I really do have cancer and that I am going to die. I am only eating now every 3 or 4 days because my stomach is so upset now and I don't know if I'm not eating because I have stomach cancer or if I'm not eating because I'm just afraid that I have cancer. I would like to know what to do because I'm very afraid right now and it's getting worse. Please help me. scared of cancer Dear scared of cancer, I have never heard of a doctor sending a patient to a psychiatrist to tell them that they are suffering from a terminal illness. I really think that this is something that going on in your head and the psychiatrist referral is to help you find out what is going on. Do you have a history of anxiety or panic attacks? Have you ever suffered from phobias? Are there other things going on in your life that is causing you stress? Has someone close to you died of cancer? All of these things can be factors in your fears of having cancer. I would urge you to see a psychiatrist as soon as possible so you can get on with your life. Your fears of cancers are affecting your eating and can ultimately make you physically ill. Get the help you need now scared of cancer. happy(nothingtofearbutfearitself)shrink
Happy, You should have been there .. You would have DIED !! It was so goddamn funny ...Little JeWitch watched, fascinated, as her Grandma, Big JeWitch, smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, Grandma?" she asked. Edna (damn that was friggin funny) Dear Edna, So when did you give up? happy(gaveupabout10yearsago)shrink
Date: May 28, 2001 HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY
Dear Happyshrink, I am currently taking Wellbutrin for depression. I take 375 mg a day and am feeling lately that it may not be working. I have noticed over the last couple of days that I am not enjoying things as much and even events that should make me happy I don't seem to care about. I have some social events coming up and am not looking forward to those either. I just want to go sit in my bed and watch TV alone. I don't want to answer the phone or the door or anything. I am in the middle of a somewhat, but not overly, stressful situation at work but can't really say that this is the cause of what is happening. Do you think that my medication has stopped working? I was under the impression that I can't really take any more than I am already on, but I have been taking Wellbutrin for over 4 years now and was wondering if it can just stop working after awhile? I am writing knowing that you will tell me to go see my psychiatrist, but I don't want to say something silly to him. Thank you for helping me out. Depressed Dear Depressed, Yes you do need to see your psychiatrist and you should tell him about the stressful situation at work as well as you depressed symptoms you have begun to display. Successful medication therapy often involves a very delicate balance. Even a mildly stressful situation can throw things out of whack. You are pretty much at your maximum dosage for Wellbutrin but perhaps your doctor can prescribe something else on a temporary basis to relieve your stress. Don't worry about saying something silly to your psychiatrist either. He's getting paid to hear what you have to say; even the silly stuff. Please let me know what happens. happy(andnotafraidtobesilly)shrink
Dear Happy, Dear JeWitch, I guess you saved the day at the Hoppenstetter household once again. Happy Memorial day to you and all the brave Hoppenstetters who gave their lives for a six-pack of beer happy(burrrrrp)shrink
Date: May 27, 2001
Hi Happyshrink,
K******
Dear K******, It sounds like your situation is obviously very distressing to you. There are many reasons for people to have the symptoms that you describe. A couple of possibilities are ADHD (Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) or Major Depressive Episode. This is not to say that you necessarily have either diagnosis and the only way to determine if you do is to have a psychiatric evaluation. During the initial evaluation, the psychiatrist will interview you to get a history of your symptoms and may also ask permission to obtain any pertinent previous records. He or she will also speak with you about current symptoms and issues in your life that may be contributing to your difficulties. The psychiatrist will then compare your symptoms with criteria in the DSM-IV (Diagnostic Manual) to make an appropriate diagnosis and share that information with you along with various treatment options. These may include medication, psychotherapy or a combination of both. Often, when people have children, they begin to examine those things that they feel need improvement so that they can be better role models for their kids. Good parenting starts with open-mindedness and it sounds like you are willing to do the work necessary to deal with your own issues. Congratulations! You are well on your way to being a good parent. Let me know how things go. happy(triestobeagoodrolemodelontheinternet)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, Can you explain why God can be so cruel? suffering believer. Dear suffering believer, I just came across this article in on of my psychology journals that might shed some light on your question: 
NEW HAVEN, CT--In a diagnosis that
helps explain the confusing and contradictory aspects of the cosmos that
have baffled philosophers, theologians, and other students of the human
condition for millennia, God, creator of the universe and longtime deity
to billions of followers, was found Monday to suffer from bipolar
disorder.
Rev. Dr. J. Henry Jurgens, a practicing psychiatrist and doctor of divinity at Yale University Divinity School, announced the historic diagnosis at a press conference.
"I always knew there had to be some explanation," Jurgens said. "And, after several years of patient research and long sessions with God Almighty through the intercessionary medium of prayer, I was able to pinpoint the specific nature of His problem." Bipolar, or manic-depressive, disorder is a condition that afflicts millions. Characterized by cycles of elation followed by bouts of profound depression and despair, the disorder can wreak havoc on both the sufferer and his or her loved ones, particularly if it goes undetected and untreated for an extended period. Though the condition is estimated to affect, in one form or another, 5 percent of the world's population, Monday marks the first time it has been diagnosed in a major deity. Evidence of God's manic-depression can be found throughout the Universe, from the white-hot explosiveness of quasars to the cold, lifeless vacuum of space. However, theologians note, humanity's exposure to God's affliction comes primarily through His confusing propensity to alternately reward and punish His creations with little rhyme or reason. "Last week, I lost my dear husband Walter to the flood," said housewife and devout churchgoer Elaine Froman of Davenport, IA. "I asked myself, 'Why? Why would God do something like this, especially when He had just helped Walter overcome a long battle with colon cancer, and we were so happy that we finally had a chance to start our lives anew?'" New York attorney Ruth Kanner also gained firsthand knowledge of God's wild mood swings. "Last Saturday, on a gorgeous spring afternoon, I was jogging in Central Park with my daughter. We were marveling at the beauty and majesty of nature, and I remember thinking what a wonderful world we live in. Then, out of nowhere, I heard the gunfire," said Kanner, speaking from her hospital bed at Columbia Presbyterian Medical Center. "All they took was a measly $17, and for that, the doctors say my daughter will never walk again. If only Our Holy Father didn't have those mental problems, my precious Katie might not be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of her life."
Jurgens stressed that God's earthly subjects need to understand that, because of His bipolar condition, He is not in control of His actions and does not realize how they affect others. "What He needs from us is understanding and patience," Jurgens said. "To paraphrase the words of the Lord God Himself, 'Humans, forgive Him, for He knows not what He does.'" While such drugs as Paxil, Prozac, and Zoloft have proven effective in the treatment of bipolar disorder among humans, there is no modern earthly medicine that can be prescribed for a deity as vast and complex as God. Jurgens is in the process of forming a support group, "Living With A Bipolar Creator-Deity," for all of humanity to "get together and discuss their feelings about living in a universe run by an Omnipresent Loved One not fully in control of his emotions." Jurgens said he believes God's essential condition is seasonal, as evidenced by the bursts of energy and elation associated with springtime and summer, followed by the decay and bleak despair of fall and winter. Sometimes, however, the condition cycles even faster. "The average person with bipolar disorder may go through as many as 10 or 12 cycles of mania and subsequent depression in a lifetime. In severe cases, a sufferer may experience four or more per year, which is known as 'rapid cycling,'" Jurgens said. "We believe God suffers from the even rarer 'ultra-rapid cycling,' which would account for the many documented cases in which He alternates between benevolence and rage toward humanity within a matter of seconds. For example, last week, He brought desperately needed, life-giving rain to southern Mali while simultaneously leveling Turkey with a devastating earthquake." Further evidence of God's manic-depression can be found in the Bible, in which the erotomania of the Song of Songs sharply contrasts with the sadness and existential despair of the Book of Ecclesiastes. The Book of Job, Jurgens noted, marks the best example of His condition. The book begins with the bleak lamentations of Job and ends with a full-blown manic episode by God, complete with such classic bipolar symptoms as the illusion of omnipotence and delusions of grandeur. "One of the major 'heresies' of Christian history is the Gnostic belief that the Creator, or 'demiurge,' of this troubled world is a blind, idiot god who is insane," Jurgens said. "This idea surfaces in many religious traditions around the globe. As it turns out, they were only half right: God has His problems like anyone else, but He is essentially trying His best. He just has a condition that makes His emotions fly out of control at times." "So it's up to us to make the best of God's emotional problems," Jurgens continued. "Thus, mankind is born to trouble, as surely as sparks fly upward." I hope this is helpful to you. happy(faithbased)shrink
Date: May 26, 2001
HAPPYSHRINK I AM ANGRY AT MY DOCTOR WHO WILL NOT GIVE ME THE PILLS THAT I NEED TO MAKE ME BETTER AND I HAVE TRIED TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL BUT THEY SAY THAT I HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE DOCTOR AND HE WILL NOT HELP ME. I NEED TO HAVE PILLS SO THAT I FEEL BETTER. SO WHERE CAN I GET PILLS? I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO GET THEM BEFORE BUT I CAN NOT GET THEM NOW I HAVE BEEN TAKING THEM FOR 7 YEARS AND AM GOING TO RUN OUT SOON. PLEASE TELL ME WHERE TO GET THE PILLS THAT I NEED TO FEEL BETTER J. M. PS YOU CAN NOT WRITE BACK TO ME BECAUSE I AM SENDING THIS TO YOU FROM A SHOPPING MALL. Dear J. M., If both your doctor and the hospital are refusing to give you pills, there's probably a good reason for it. Perhaps they feel you are abusing your medications or becoming too dependent on them. It sounds that way to me. I would urge you to meet with your doctor and hear what he suggests for making you feel better. Medication is the answer for some people, but not for everyone and its not the only solution to depression, anxiety and other emotional problems. Work with your doctor JM before you do something you will regret. happy(regrets...I'vehadafewbutthenagaintoofewtomention)shrink
Dear Happy, Just wanted you to see an artist's rendering of Gind and Earl seeing baby Harley for the first time. Too bad they don't allow cameras in the hospital.....or maybe it's a good thing. JeWitch
Dear JeWitch, I thought that all babies from the Circle K Trailer Park were required to have paper bags over their heads. happy(paperorplastic)shrink
Date: May 25, 2001
Dear Happy, I hate my job. I'd like to get away. Do you think drugs are the answer? anonymous Dear anonymous, Drugs may help you forget about your job for awhile but afterwards you still have your miserable job and still hate it. You are not alone in your feelings. One out of every three people in America are unhappy with their jobs. It's curious how people with bad jobs as well as bad marriages will hang on and stay miserable. Some of them will take antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications rather than dealing with the problem. Your question may not have been asked seriously, but it is frightening how many people use drugs (legal or illegal) in that manner. My guess is that you know the answer to your problem anonymous. Get another job. If you are unhappy with the type of work you do, look into other options. If necessary, see a career counselor. The key here is to become proactive. Don't just wait for things to get better or get worse. Figure out what will make you happy and go for it. Most people can tell you what they don't want to do with their lives. It's harder to figure out what you do want to do. Sure there are obstacles, but that comes with the territory. I welcome you to write me again and perhaps we can explore this further. happy(tookalongtimetofigureoutwhathelovestodo)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, I am not sure what a program audit is, but here are some tips I learned for JCAHO and State Survey: 1. Everyone will be nuts today. If you have access to any benzodiazapines, take one. Not because you're nervous but because there will be tension enough to catch it from everyone else (Sort of a "contact Jitter".) 2. Wear the ID badge, just make sure it Oh-So-Casually is on backwards, obscuring view of name and/or photo. Use double stick tape to make it stay that way, if necessary. 3. If anyone doing the actually reviewing asks you a direct question, smile and say, "I'm not sure of the answer to that, so I'll go find out for you." Then walk briskly and officiously to the nearest stairwell and hide out until you are sure they have given up and asked someone else. This is doubly important if you know the answer, because once they find out that you actually know something, you're stuck! 4. Next year, cultivate an inside source so that you can make sure vacation, root canal, elective surgery or job change corresponds with the next program review. (If you have a sufficiently mobile job skill, you can time it to miss JCAHO re-audits which are something like every 3 years or so!) 5. If all else fails, fake a heart attack. (If you can't generate any real symptoms the ER will attribute it to a panic attack and send you home with a couple of benzodiazapines (see # 1)) Sincerely, Judi(passthatbottleofklonapin)Blueye PS Oh, by the way, JCAHO changed their name to "JC" for "Joint Commission". Seems to be getting needlessly messianic, if you ask me. How did that song go?
Hossana, Heysanna sanna sanna-ho sanna-hey sanna-hosanna! Hey JC, JC you're alright by me Sanna-ho, sanna-hey Superstar" (From Jesus Christ Superstar) (might be dating myself a little with this reference) Dear Judi, Thanks for the advice. Other than caffeine, I am not very big on taking meds for anxiety although it's an intriguing thought. Since I am the Director of the Program, ID badge or not, I'm the one they expect answers from. Everyone else has the luxury of not knowing something. They will be coming to me after they say, "I'm not sure of the answer to that so I'll go find out for you." If all goes well on the audit, (I will know next Tuesday) it could mean a 3 year license and I will not have to worry about it for a long long time. Actually the auditor is coming back on Tuesday so I may just try faking that heart attack. Hopefully I'll just be "faking." PS: Preferred Godspell to JC Superstar. Remember how the song, "Day by Day" goes? happy(sowherecanIgetsomeklonapin?)shrink
Date: May 24, 2001
Happy's audit is still not finished but he's pulling himself together and posting letters just for YOU! PS. Yes Judi, it's very similar to a JCAHO audit. Dear Happyshrink, HELP!!!!!! I seem to be all stressed out. I can handle it on the outside, but when I get home from work I sleep for two to three hours before I get up and get ready for bed. I then sleep all night. Several months ago, I started not sleeping very well (up every 2 - 3 hours), Is my mind making my body shut down or what?? I am a teacher in a program for (last chance kids) behavior problems for middle school age kids. It is a very trying position. Maybe it's just my age (54) I do crafts, but lately even that doesn't seem to help. Any suggestions??? No medications!! Thank You Thank you Thank you for ANY suggestions Mary Ann Dear Mary Ann, The first thing I would suggest is that you not go to sleep as soon as you get home. You may feel emotionally and even physically tired but if you are having difficulty sleeping at night, a nap is going to make it even more difficult. As one gets older, sleep problems are more common. It could be a result of physical changes in your body or even a medical problem. You might want to consider getting a good medical evaluation just to make sure it's not a physical problem. What is most striking about your letter Mary Ann is that you have described your life has having two primary activities. Work and sleep. This may be an over simplification of your life but it seems to me like you need something more. Crafts are a good activity but maybe you need to think of doing something more exciting or more satisfying. Like me, you are in a line of work where you give a lot of yourself. As rewarding as that may feel at times, you also need to receive from others. Perhaps that's what's missing. Let me know what you think. happy(notshyaboutreceiving)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, Today I started a new job as an "intern" with a local psychotherapist. (JUST LIKE YOU) So .. in comes my VERY VERY VERY first patient. My job is to sort of greet the person and tell them to make themselves comfortable until the Shrink comes in the room. Here is what happened .... Basically I am just his FLUNKY ... so when my FIRST patient comes in and mistakes me for the doctor I just sort of AD-LIBBED ... I didn't see anything wrong with that .. well .. here is EXACTLY what occurred. In she comes ..... She was a very homely (notice I did NOT say UGLY or FUGLY .. or anything like that .. I am being a PROFESSIONAL) young woman. She walked into the office and said, "Doctor, (I didn't correct her) Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no man will come near me and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?" "I'm sure I can," I replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch." About that time the REAL SHRINK came in and gave me a look that said .. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE." Jesus H. Christ .. what the hell crawled up his ass ??? JeWitch Dear JeWitch, Have you considered interning for a dentist? Just think what you can do with a drill in your hands...... On second thought, stay with the shrink. happy(avoidsthingsthatcrawlupinthenight)shrink
Date: May 23, 2001
Happy is taking a day off! He's got a big program audit at work and right now he could use some advice on how to relax before an audit. All suggestions will be appreciated. The funny ones will get posted tomorrow.
Date: May 22, 2001
Dear Happyshrink, I am 17 and just found out that my girlfriend is pregnant. I know that the baby is mine also but I am afraid of telling my parents because of my father. I come from an ok family - my dad makes pretty decent money and we live ok, but he is very strict about some things and pretty religious (Catholic). He has never hit me or been real mean to me, but he yells sometimes for hours if I do something wrong or immoral. I know already that my girlfriend will not have an abortion. She wants to get married and have this baby and everything will be great. I don't want to get married. I know, then I shouldn't have done that with her. She also has not told her parents yet because they are not religious at all and she is afraid that they will force her to have an abortion. She wants to run away and I have thought about it - not because I want to marry her, but because it seems easier than telling everyone and causing a big problem. What do I do? Please help me because I really don't know what to do about this. Bad Boy Dear Bad Boy, Both you and your girl friend need to tell your parents about this. You have already made one mistake. Don't make it worse my making more mistakes. Your father may be angry and upset at first , but I think after his initial reaction he will help you. I think your girlfriend underestimates her parents as well and they can not force her to get an abortion if she doesn't want to have one. Family counseling is might be a very good idea here and both families can participate. Getting married at 17 to the wrong girl because she is carrying your baby is no way to begin adulthood. Right now you need to think of yourself, your girlfriend and the baby. All of you need help right now and I would urge you to tell your parents. If your girlfriend has not seen and obstetrician I would urge her to do so as well. Those are the right things to do not so bad boy. I wish all of you luck. happy(triestodotherightthings)shrink
Happy, We did something SPECIAL for Momma on Mother's Day. I forgot to tell you about it so here's a picture that's worth a thousand words. JeWitch
Dear JeWitch, Makes you want to think what's going to happen 30 years from now...or sooner! happy(foreveryoung)shrink
Date: May 21, 2001
Dear Happy, It has been a while since I last wrote. A lot has been going on. Hope all is going good with you. My ADHD son he is now 16(May 5), he has been in a Behavioral Health Center since April 14th. He was having suicidal and homicidal thoughts. It was scary. They are talking bipolar, but saying with teens it is hard to diagnose. My brother was bipolar. He was on Zoloft, no mood stabilizer and went into a really bad episode. I am so glad I got him to go the the ER with me. They took it very serious and he has been there since then. He gets moved next week to a therapeutic group home. He will be there 3 months. They will do evaluations and treatment. Help him learn to live with what he has. He is taking Wellbutrin, Depakote, and some others I cannot remember off hand. He seems to be doing better. I just want the best for him. I have gone to the doctor and I am on Celexa and Xanax. I do not have that tight feeling in my chest anymore. My OCD is still the same, nobody touches the kitchen, my stuff, me. I am so set in my ways it isn't even close to funny. That is me, take it or leave it......:) My oldest boy is driving, that is making me crazy, I just want him to be smart! It is scary! He wants to be on the run all the time. I try to remember when I was younger, I am hoping he will make the right choices, we talk to him about it all the time. My 14 yr old is still mouthy and thinks we "owe" him. He is for sale cheap!! lol ocdnet(hanginginthere)angel Dear ocdnetangel, I am glad your son is receiving a good evaluation and treatment. Depakote is the most popular mood stabilizer today for bipolar disorder. It is safer than Lithium and clearly the medication of choice. Hopefully it will help him. As for you, Celexa and Xanax are good medications for depression and panic attack. I would not expect it to affect your OCD. It is a pretty normal feeling to be anxious about a new driver in the family. When my son started driving a few years ago it made me crazy too even though he was and is a good and safe driver. As for the 14 year old, the best thing you can say is, next year he'll be 15. No takers on E-Bay. I'm glad you are hanging in there ocdnetangel. Keep up the good work. happy(hangingintoo)shrink
Happy, Dear JeWitch, Cigarettes are bad. Unless you are talking about the candy ones. Then it's *really* bad. happy(JeWitchisnicotenefree)shrink
Date: May 20, 2001
Dear Happyshrink, My mother has been acting very strange lately. She thinks that our neighbor is spying on her and has even had a fence put in which was very expensive. I don't think she realizes how much money she can go through with her paranoia. She is 76. I am working hard every day and am starting to think that I will have to start paying for her bills because of this. What am I supposed to do about this? She won't go see a doctor and tells me that our neighbor never liked her to begin with. I just wish that I could get her to understand that she isn't thinking clearly and let me take her somewhere so that someone can take care of this. I'm not even sure if she has a will and she can't make one now that she's like this. She has to let me do something. I would like to know how I can make her go to a doctor. Son of a Paranoid Mother Dear Son of a Paranoid Mother, Unless your mother is harmful to herself or others, or she is suffering from a life threatening illness, she can not be forced to see a doctor. One thing you can do is contact "Adult Protective Services" in your community. It may go by another name where you live, however they are responsible to see that elderly and infirm adults are safe and capable of independent living. If they feel your mother's situation warrants it, they can send a team of social workers, nurses and even a psychiatrist to assess your mother's condition. If they determine that she is a danger to herself, they can go to court and request anything from mandated homecare and nursing services, to placement in a nursing home. If that should happen, you and other members of your family should consult with a lawyer about getting power of attorney over her estate. This process is not an easy one, and from the information you have given me, I am not sure that her paranoia constitutes behavior that is harmful. The remaining option you may have is to remain caring and supportive and periodically raise the issue of her seeing a doctor. Elderly people are not only fighting a battle to keep their wits about them. They fight everyday to maintain their independence. While it's not easy for you and her other children, it is something that you need to respect and in some way admire. Showing her respect and admiration may be the difference between her listening to you and her becoming more oppositional. Good luck Son. Let me know how things work out. happy(occasionallyoppositional)shrink
Dear Happy, Dear JeWitch, I was there remember? Why do you think my eyesight has deteriorated so much? I was number 7..............7............7.............7 and number 8.............. 8............ 8.............8. Fool me twice, shame on me. happy(stillcan'tfindtheVisine)shrink
Date: May 19, 2001
Dear Happyshrink, I am recently divorced and have custody of my 2 children, who are 14 and 11. I have found my ex-husbands living situation to be somewhat disruptive and made a decision that they could not spend the night with him. He has not recognized this, however, and continues to talk about having them spend the night. He also has made plans to have days off and not asked about what plans I might have. This is a bad replay of my marriage with him. I feel like screaming at him to pay attention! I am trying to respond in a way that is non-combative and find that my own sense of frustration and stress is rising higher and higher by the minute. I know that he will never understand, but I am at a loss of how to deal with my own feelings of anger and frustration over this situation. Please give me any advice you can. Stressed Ex Dear Stressed Ex, Not knowing the situation that makes you feel that your husband should not have the kids spend the night with him, it is hard for me to comment on. Usually, even without custody, divorce agreements give the non custodial parent visitation as well as overnight privileges. If you have evidence that his living situation is not conducive to your kids staying with him, you may need to have that established in Family Court in order to prevent him from having overnight visitation. All States vary as well as divorce agreements so you will have to either consult with your attorney or a Family Court administrator to find out what you need to do. It is not unusual for the issues that led to your divorce to continue to be problematic when you are dealing with parenting and visitation issues. Here again, as the custodial parent you can set up a reasonable schedule for how much notice he must give you in order to spend time with the kids. You also have a right to reject his request if you have made your own plans, but in fairness you need to offer other times when the kids will be available for visitation. Lastly Stressed Ex, you can't control how your Ex is going to behave. You can control your reaction to his behavior. Don't let him push your buttons. Be fair and reasonable even if he isn't being that way. He can talk all he wants. You have custody and responsibility for your kids. Be a good mom and a "reasonable" Ex. That's the best you can do for both yourself as well as your kids. happy(andreasonable)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, Ever have one of those days when EVERYTHING goes right ?? Me neither ... JeWitch Dear JeWitch, It must be a curse or sometime. Or it might just be that we are lazy good for nothing idiots...... nah! It must be that curse. happy(unlikeJeWitchIcurseundermybreath)shrink
Date: May 18, 2001
Dear Happyshrink, I have been going with a guy for about six months. After about 3 months I realized that we were not that compatible and I really didn't want to continue dating him. When I talked about breaking up, he became very upset and threatened to kill himself if I stopped seeing him. Nothing like that every happened to me before and I agreed to stay with him. Another 3 months have gone by and I really don't want to continue this relationship. He's been talking about marriage and growing old together and I just want to run and hide. How do I get out of this mess? Help! Desperate Dear Desperate, You get out of this mess by telling this guy the truth. If he threatens suicide, you can contact his family or even call a 911 operator. You can't live your life in fear of him hurting himself. If he chooses to do that, it's his choice and not yours. It won't get any better Desperate. This guy is either very disturbed, very manipulative or both. He needs to get professional help and you can also suggest he do that. There isn't anything more that you can do for him. Act quickly because your mental health and well being is at stake. Let me know what happens. happy(thatsallIcandotohelp)shrink
Dear Happy Oh that Witchie! She dun dun it now. She went to her insurance dentist cuzzin some back tooth was a hurtin'. (Shows to go ya that Choppers is best.) But I em gettin' offen the story. The first thing was on that thar Dentist's door, "WE KATERS TA COWARDS". Jewitch tells that that made her happy right off. So she tol the dentist ta nock her out with gas. The Doc says, cain't do that, but I kin make ya real happy with this here gas I got. So, when he put the mask on her, she qwit breathin'. So the gas, at 50 bucks a minute din't do nothin fer tho ol' Witchie. So the Doc not noin' that, comes at her with a BIG needle. Well, Jewitch decked him. He kicked her out with some anti-biotic an' pain pills, but weren't about to stick his hand in her mouth agin. So today she went to another dentist, but first took 3 valium an' 2 pain pills. She cuddin't drive herself, so I had ta drive her. I had ta hold her up ta git inta the chair. Guessin the other doctor give this doc the tale of Jewitch's temperment and he tied her ta the chair. She din't need no gas. She din't no which way was up. He fixed her up and I got her back ta the park without nobody gittin' killed. Let that be a warnin' ta ya iffen you ever gets axed ta do some doctorin' on her. Gind Rinker Dear Gind, Witchie is a very lucky woman to have such a good friend. I hope she appreciates it and buys you a really good meal. Don't let her take you to Denny's like she does when Edna helps her out of a jam. This deserves a quality meal like Sizzler's or Ponderosa. happy(buysaqualitymealforaqualityfriend)shrink
Date: May 17, 2001
Dear Happyshrink, I have a 13 year old son who has been taking Ritalin for ADHD since he was 7. The Ritalin has helped him a lot and has been able to do well in school and control his impulses most of the time. Recently though he has become very oppositional and his grades in school have also suffered. His psychiatrist wants to take him off the Ritalin and put him on an anti-depressant. Is this a common occurrence? He doesn't seem depressed so why does he need an anti-depressant? I would appreciate any information that you can give me. Thanks. Concerned Mom Dear Concerned Mom, Some kids who have done well on Ritalin during their childhood will have difficulties when they begin puberty. I would guess that this is what is happening to your son right now. His physical and hormonal changes are yet another factor in his behavior. I would speak to your son's psychiatrist for his explanation regarding the medication change but it is not uncommon to have kids switch from Ritalin to an anti-depressant. Your son's psychiatrist is the best resource in explaining this dynamic. Don't hesitate to ask a lot of questions. This can be a difficult time for you and your son. The more information you have, the better equipped you will be to cope with this period of transition. happy(alwaysinaperiodoftransition)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, Tuesday I had a dentist appointment. I am a person who is afraid of almost nothing .. EXCEPT THE DENTIST .. I get gas to have my teeth cleaned. (NOT KIDDING, OK ?) Lucky for me I have EXCELLENT TEETH .. at the ripe old age of 50, I mean 29, I have only 2 fillings. One of which, I had a dentist say, I "probably didn't need" and the other was to cover a chip in a tooth. I bit into a really really REALLY HARD potato chip (something wrong with it) and crack a tooth in the back of my mouth. Well, it is cracked .. piece missing but doesn't hurt .. at all .. for 2 years .. Then this week. ... YIKES . .. Starts hurting like hell .. so I go to the dentist ... I picked out a dentist that says on the door .. "We cater to cowards." I explain that I am their WORST NIGHTMARE when it comes to a patient. (and everything else) They give me some penicillin and some pretty crappy pain pills, hydro-codone or something .. And schedule me for a root canal for this coming Monday. Thursday my tooth is killing me .. I was actually calling to get MORE DRUGS .. stronger drugs .. because: 1) The penicillin didn't have time to work. (it had only been 24 hours) 2) I was in NO HURRY at all to have this root canal done. Well, the receptionist says "come in as an emergency and we will do it today." I go in .. I am in the chair and they are hooking up the gas .. Let me tell you a bit about this "We Cater To Cowards" dental office. BULL SHIT !!! .. everyone in this office has a look on their face like they HATE their job. I saw 5 employees, receptionist included, and they all have a scowl on their face .. Here I am trying to explain to "Nurse Rachette" to be gentle ... reminding her that I am not someone who doesn't LIKE the dentist .. "I am TERRIFIED of the dentist" .. Meanwhile I took 2 or 3 pain killers hoping I would be mellow .. NOT HELPING AT ALL .... Nurse (FUCKING) RATCHETTE has not an ounce of sympathy ... She is ICE COLD. Let me add that when I am nervous .. I hold my breath .. I don't breath until I am about to pass out ...SOOOOO ... the gas is doing NO GOD-DAMN GOOD at all and I am paying (insurance won't pay for gas) $30 every 15 minutes for the gas .. and getting NONE OF IT .. To make this LONG STORY a bit shorter .. I am in the midst of a FULL BLOWN PANIC ATTACK .. the doctor comes in with dental equipment in his hands .. a mask on his face (so I can't recognize him in public I guess) ... first words out of his mouth were NOT .. "Don't worry I understand you are nervous ... blah blah ....." They were.... "OPEN YOUR MOUTH ... PUT YOUR HEAD BACK ... " as he is reaching for my mouth with a needle .. . I am going to be brave .. even though the gas isn't working ... I try to stall a bit .. I start talking ... (you can see they have NO TIME for my nervous chatter) I tell them the gas isn't working. I am having a panic attack .. I can't breathe .. One of them, I can't remember who .. says something like .. "TOO FUCKING BAD .. .BREATHE YOU IDIOT ..." (maybe not exactly those words.) I get a few shots of Novocain .. the "dentist from hell" leaves to give time for the Novocain to kick in ... he comes back a few minutes later ... THIS TIME ... says the same shit about HEAD BACK .. .blah blah .. AND IMMEDIATELY TURNS ON THE DRILL ... heading straight for my mouth ... WELL ....... I smacked his hands away from my mouth ... Told him "DON'T TOUCH ME!" Both he and nurse Ratchette are looking at me like I am just a BAD CHILD .. neither one has a fucking clue that there is a difference between a BAD KID and a PANIC ATTACK .. I am sure that neither care ... Monday I have an appointment with a NEW dentist ... One who "caters to cowards." We'll see ... JeWitch Dear JeWitch, Too bad there isn't a dentist with the logo, "We Cater to Lunatics." happy(caterstolunatics)shrink
Date: May 16, 2001
Dear Happy Shrink, My daughter baby sits for the neighbors who live down the block from us. She is 15 years old and very responsible. This weekend, she babysat for their 2 children, who are 10 and 11 years old. Yesterday evening, I got a call from their mother who said that they wouldn't be needing my daughter any more. She sounded very abrupt and when I asked her why, she said "Your daughter has been drinking liquor from our cabinet and this morning we caught our children in there as well. They said that she showed them where the key was and they watched her do it." Happy, my daughter is not a drinker. I also can't imagine her ever going through someone's drawers looking for a key to a liquor cabinet and then showing it to children! I think these people's own children found the key (they are alone after school and have ample time to search through things) and they just got caught and used my daughter as a convenient excuse. We have never had any indication that our daughter does anything like drinking or taking drugs. We know what activities she participates in after school, which clubs she belongs to and the other kids in them. She doesn't sneak out, we know who her friends are and where she goes when she goes out and she has called us on one occasion when she went to a party and didn't feel comfortable there and wanted to come home early. I don't know what to do about this. Of course we asked her, and she didn't have a clue what we were talking about. She wanted to go to the neighbors house and talk to them, but I said it was better to leave them alone for now. Eventually, we'll run into them somewhere and it will be very awkward for us. I also don't know what this woman will tell her friends about my daughter and if that will affect her ability to get other sitting jobs in the area. But mostly, I think that if her 10 and 11 year old kids are already getting into the liquor cabinet, there is a bigger problem going on and they should know that my daughter isn't the one who led them to it. If you have any advise for me, I would appreciate it. I'm very torn in many directions right now. Frantic Mother Dear Frantic Mother, I don't blame you for being upset. Your neighbor has determined your daughter's guilt solely on the basis of her own children being "caught with the goods." She has the right to not have your daughter baby sit for her anymore, but she doesn't have the right to spread damaging hearsay without proof. I suggest you and your husband send her a certified letter telling her that your daughter has denied taking part in any drinking while baby sitting and if she spreads rumors or innuendo about your daughter to other people, you will seek legal counsel. Needless to say, this will impact on your relationship with these neighbors. It may be awkward, but there is nothing that can be done about it unless your neighbor's children recant their allegation and she is big enough to apologize. I also want you to consider something else. Despite the fact that your daughter appears to be a nice kid, with nice friends and a history of good judgment, it is not impossible that she could have experimented with alcohol or drugs. This is something that all teenagers are vulnerable to. Make sure that you and your daughter communicate openly about these issues and stay involved with her life. There are no guarantees but that will lessen the chance that she get involved with something she's not ready for. Good luck and let me know what happens with your neighbors. happy(beenalleged too)shrink
Happy, I went to use the bathroom at the gas station down the street because my one in the trailer isn't working. The manager said it was for customers only. He only let me use it if I bought a candy bar. I was SO DAMN MAD that I drank all the hand soap out of the dispenser, just to show him. Bubba I shouldn't have ate them urinal cakes though .. now I have to use the bathroom again. Dear Bubba, Given the road kill, skunk beer and moonshine you consume on any given day, the hand soap and urinal cakes are downright nutritious. happy(passthehotsauce)shrink
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