Postings from October 16-31, 2000
Dear Happyshrink, My mother sucked her thumb until she was about to graduate from college (21). My youngest sister did so until she was about 23. Except for 2 year-long breaks (one at 5 and one at 12) I had the thumb sucking habit until I was 32. I had a brief "slip" (to borrow some AA terminology) a couple of years ago, during a hideous bout with poison ivy. My question: is this a form of familial obsessive-compulsive disorder or is it an example of setting examples for other family members, or what? My ten year-old continues to suck her thumb on a daily basis. (Even more odd: My boyfriend's ex-wife sucked her thumb habitually during their marriage...Is he somehow attracted to orally fixated women?) Sincerely, All Thumbs Dear All Thumbs, All of your theories might apply. Thumb sucking is a comforting activity that reduces anxiety and calms people down. Usually, orally fixated individuals graduate from thumb sucking to eating. Eating too is a comfort activity for many. For me food is way too comforting! Often an older child will regress to thumb sucking when a baby arrives. This is a message to mom and dad that "I'm still a baby too." All of us sometimes feel the need to be a baby again. Especially when the demands of life become overwhelming. Thumb sucking can be a desire to return to a simpler and less demanding time in our lives. I don't know if this helps you, but it has helped me. Now if I can only find my rubber duckie, my rattle and my teddy bear. happy(andattractedtoorallyfixatedwomen)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, Agggghhhhh!!!!! I REALLY hate it when people try to pretend that they are physiologists and say things like, "I really understand your feeling this way and...." Oh GOD! I CAN NOT STAND THAT!!! It sucks soooo much! It just pisses me off! It's like you're just trying to be normal around these freaks and they start going off about stuff they should just shut up about! Like they'll go, "I know that sometimes we need to understand this relationship because understanding, feeling, growing is very important."
Oh god, yuk! These people should all be put in a box and thrown to the bottom of the ocean. That includes all of their self-help bull crap, Kenny G, and the book "Men are from Mars Women are from Venus". I swear to god, if I have to listen to another infomercial with that stupid little British physiologist doctor guy I will personally take a pitchfork and stick it in my chest.
Hmm...well, I guess that just about sums it up. Doris Dear Doris, I can feel your pain. I understand what you are going through. Your ability to speak so openly and honestly is very inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing. happy(screwtheteddybearandtherattle;where'stheVodka)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, What's the best way to be supportive to someone? I sometimes find that I try to be supportive by giving advice or talking about a situation of my own that I think will show the other person that I am empathetic to their situation. But sometimes I feel like afterwards that may not have been the best idea and wish that I could just go back in time and keep my mouth shut and just listen. Is that always the best thing to do? How can I be a better listener and not feel like I put the other person off, even if they say something that I might disagree with or have my own opinion about? Thanks in advance for any advice you can give me. May Not Be Supportive Dear May Not Be Supportive, There is a big difference between giving advice and being supportive. Most people may ask for advice but they are just looking for support. Therapists only give advice when it's a critical situation. More often we give support. There are phrases that can be used to be supportive whether you agree with the person or not. Here are a few of them. -That's a really tough situation you are in. -You must feel awful about this. -There's no perfect answer to this problem. -I can see that this is very stressful for you. Is there a way I can be helpful? Try them out next time a friend comes to you for "advice." You may not solve any problems, but you will make your friend and yourself feel a lot better. happy(occasionallyneedsadvicebutalwaysneedssupport)shrink
Dear Happy, Maybe you or "one of your friends" can answer this: Who shuts the door when the bus-driver gets out ?? JeWitch Dear JeWitch, This sounds like one of those "meaning of the universe" questions. I consulted with my spiritual advisor Reverend Al and he actually knew the answer. Bubba shuts the door and goes back to sleep. happy(lookingforahangoverremedy)shrink
Dear Happy, A friend of mine named JeWitch had me call a girlfriend of her drunken ex-husband to arrange to deliver his only possessions, Jesus sandals, a bible and 2 baseball caps covered with cat hair. He had been in jail almost all of his life for DUI's. At 46, that is quite a feat. In talking to this girlfriend, I realized she is a co-dependant and I, having had a great deal of experience in this area, convinced her she was in trouble trying to play rescue games with this loser. Now I have possession of this little box, since the girlfriend signed off on the return project, and am wondering what I should do with it. I don't have his address or number. He probably doesn't have a phone and there is a good chance he doesn't have a car. (Just a guess) Mary Dear Mary, I can understand your reluctance to have this guy come to your house. There's got to be another friend or acquaintance who wouldn't mind being the "go between" and give these possessions back to JeWitch's Ex. Let's also give thanks that he's out of her life as well as this new girlfriend. Unfortunately, guys like this always find someone to enable their addictions. happy(JeWitchgotdivorced)shrink
......Then I get this other letter: Dear Happy, Today I had the most lucky day. But let me catch you up. I been pukin' all week with this pregnant thing. My feet is swelled and won't fit in my shoes. And the County Welfare Nurse told me she wanted me to quit my snuff cuzzen it would make my placenta hard and gray. Well, gray doesn't bother me, but I'm always up for somethin' hard, if ya knows what I mean. So today, a quaintence (Mary) brought me a box of cat haired covered stuff that belongs to an ex of JeWitch. She had told him to come to my house to get the stuff. Well, he took a bus and got here right after my Earl. Well Earl was thirsty after a hard day and sho nuff this guy shows up with a 12 pack and a fifth o' gin. We all hit it off real good. He give me his Jesus Sandals and we all got tanked. Since we got a king size bed, we is gonna let him live wit us and Earl is gonna take him to work ever day. An he is gonna give us $100 bucks a week an all the booze we can drink. The gin helps settle my stomach. My life is fulfilled. I still hasn't told Earl bout the youngin' in the oven. Gind Rinker Dear Gind, This really does sound like the match made in heaven. Your good fortune may help to make the Orlando area safe for other women. Regards to Earl. happy(talkaboutmiserylovingcompany)shrink
Dear Happy, Just another month or so and I will be a grandm... I mean ... an Aunt for the SECOND TIME !! Here are some wishes for the Niece and FUTURE NEPHEW. I'd really like for them to know about hand-me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meatloaf sandwiches. I really would. For Alexa: I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated. I hope you learn to make your bed and mow the lawn and wash the car. And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen. I hope you have a job by then. It will be good if at least one time you can see a baby calf born and your old dog put to sleep. I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in. I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him. When you want to see a Disney movie and your little brother wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him. I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely. On rainy days when you have to catch a ride I hope your driver doesn't have to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your mom. If you want a slingshot, I hope your dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one. I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books. When you learn to use those newfangled computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head. I hope when you talk back to your mother that you learn what Ivory soap tastes like. I hope you get sick when someone blows cigar smoke in your face. I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma and go fishing with your Grandpa. May you feel sorrow at a funeral and the joy of holidays. I hope your mother punishes you when you throw something through a neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Christmas time when you give her a plaster of Paris mold of your hand. These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. JeWitch (Professional Internet Thief) Dear JeWitch, This was one of your better heists. Well done! Now what's taking you so long getting me one of them camcorders? Is the kleptomania gone? happy(awshucks!)shrink
Hi Happyshrink Yesterday I went to a seminar re anxiety. The fight or flight syndrome was discussed and other symptoms of anxiety. Treatment was relaxation exercise, proper breathing and medication as needed. Many of the symptoms that were discussed I'm grateful to say I don't have. I'm still having problems. I lost some photographs a friend had lent me to duplicate. Fortunately I had duplicated the pictures, I told him what had happened which he accepted it gracefully, made copies of the pictures and mailed the copies. I'm still bothered by the situation despite doing all I could do to make it right. I think I mentioned that I had seen a therapist and a Doctor. Effexor was prescribed and it does help. I'm frustrated as I have many good things in my life, a happy family life, a comfortable home, enough money to pay the bills and friends. Yet the anxiety darkens the scene. It seems to be getting worse and I wonder if it will ever let up ? Jellyerole Dear Jellyrole, I have experienced things like losing something borrowed happen to me too. No matter how much you try to compensate the other person, you still feel inadequate, guilty and irresponsible. The internalized parent in us is much harsher and unforgiving than our biological parents ever were. If I had to guess, your anxiety is not just a psychological disorder. It is probably part of your personality to feel somewhat anxious. Just like people can be shy or outgoing, active or passive, intense or laid back, you probably have the predisposition of being somewhat anxious. This was probably developed over many years and the likelihood of changing your personality is slim. Perhaps that rather trying to fight it, you might need to learn how to live with it. You can manage your anxiety and keep it from paralyzing you. Your perspective here is what is most important. Anxiety has not prevented you from having a happy family life, a comfortable home, financial security and friends. Life may have it's tragedies and there are no guarantees for the future. You have endured for many years past and I would bet you will endure for years to come. As long as you take your medication, seek support and keep your sense of humor, the darkness of anxiety will not blot out the joy in your life. happy(sometimesneedstowheresunglasses)shrink
Dear Happy, Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone. JeWitch Dear JeWitch, OK. happy(waitingfortheallclearsignal)shrink
Thanks for the Memories, Mets and Yankees!
Dear Happyshrink, My brother is engaged to a 28 yr old woman who sucks her thumb and rubs Her ear in public. I KNOW THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT BUT I am unsure what it is specifically. Can you give me details of possible history and what it might mean about her character. Seriously Sincerely Alexandra Dear Alexandra, Behaviors such as thumb sucking and rubbing one's ear usually doesn't indicate a flawed character. They can be indications of stress, anxiety or just a bad habit. To determine if these behaviors are a significant problem, I would need to know the frequency as well as the things that trigger them. Frankly though, if it doesn't bother your brother, it shouldn't bother you. What are her other qualities? Is she loving, compassionate, friendly, loyal and intelligent? If she's got just a few of those qualities, your brother is ahead of the game. If she doesn't, then perhaps he will figure it out on his own. Perhaps he has a few imperfections too. happy(notperfecteither)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, I just finished a load of laundry (as usual) and was wondering if there is help for "fear of static cling." Wind(pleasedon'tletmyclothessticktogether)NWillows Dear Wind, A Downy Ball in the washer and a Cling-Free sheet in the dryer will eliminate your fear of static cling. Maybe you could tell me if there are support groups for people like me who have fear of "Ring Around the Collar?" happy(didImentionaproblemIhavewithmyunderwear?)shrink
Ocdnetangel replies: Dear Happy, This does help a lot, always helpful to use someone else's input that is not directly involved. I do not want all or nothing, I just know the meds are not going to make me different. I do believe that they would help with depression and anxiety. It is just more difficult right now, because my children are teenagers and want to touch and do everything. Which is how they are supposed to be, but I just freak out, I do not want anything touched. If I do it myself things are great. My husband is very helpful and understanding, he knows how I feel and he just acts as if it is normal now. We have been married ten years. I don't know what I will do. I did figure out why my depression was so bad for a few days. I mean more intense than it normally is. My deceased brothers birthday is today, it happens every year, consciously or unconsciously. I was 17 when we lost him, and it was a very traumatic time for me. Still is today. I might decide to go and see about meds for depression and anxiety. I would also like to find a group. So far have not found one in my area, but do chat on-line. I was thinking about putting an ad in the local paper and starting my own group, does this sound like a good idea? ocdnet(thankfulforhappyandhiswords)angel Dear ocdnetangel, I think that starting your own support group is a good idea but I would go about it a bit different than putting an ad in the newspaper. I would speak to local community centers, adult education programs and possibly even churches that have support groups. They may be better able to advertise and promote the group and might also be able to provide a facilitator. You might also want to contact the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI) for support groups in your area. To access there web site and find the NAMI Chapter in your area, click here. I am also glad that you are considering getting help with your anxiety and depression. Past events can trigger symptoms and your deceased brother's birthday could certainly be responsible for that. It may also be related to other issues as well. Please keep me posted and thank you for your kind words. happy(tryingtotriggergoodmentalhealth)shrink
Happy, I was driving
to the unemployment office yesterday when I saw
this woman cut right in front
of a pickup truck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder.
This evidently made the guy mad enough, that he hung out his window
and flipped her off. JeWitch Dear JeWitch, I guess we know who that one woman is on your daily drive! happy(wouldneverflipthebirdtoJeWitch)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, My boyfriend finally moved in with me. It has been an adjustment all the way around. The thing that baffles me is that he is not computer literate and seems to be jealous of any time I spend on the Internet. A friend of his came home from a hunting weekend and found that his wife had moved out to go live with someone she had met on the net. I am not corresponding with any cyber lovers...my biggest Internet adventure is the weekly chat with the Happyshrink bunch. So, what is up with that? It seems kind of like junior high school stuff to me. Any thoughts, Oh Happy-one? Sincerely, Greeneye Dear Greeneye, You don't have to be on the Internet to be aware of the passion that it brings out in people. While the ask happyshrink chat group may be harmless to most people, there are many chat groups that have wrecked marriages and ended relationships. Even the ask happyshrink chat room has had it's share of "predators." The fact that your boyfriend is not computer literate just adds to the mystique of meeting people on the Internet. I can think of one spouse observing his wife laughing and having a great time chatting and thinking to himself, "She doesn't seem all that happy when she's with me." Sometimes husbands and wives feel they compete for time with the computer. It is important to make sure that your computer time does not affect your quality time with your boyfriend. Your ability to show him that he's more important than the computer will go a long way in reducing his jealousy..... unless the computer is in fact more important than him. It may sound crazy but I know people who feel that way. I hope this relationship works out for you Greeneye. You may need to modify your visits to cyberspace if it's going to succeed. Please keep me posted. happy(seenthebestandworstofcyberspace)shrink
Dear Happy, Did I ever tell
you how GREAT it is since my son left home and got married ?? I
sent him this little note to keep up his spirits, and let him know
that he's missed: Mom Just felt like SHARING ... JeWitch Dear JeWitch, I am sure that your son misses you a lot. A whole lot. What third world country did you say he's living in now? happy(volunteeredforApollo13togetawayfrommymom)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, I've been married and divorced already and married again for a couple of years. Already I'm wondering if this was a big mistake. My new husband travels a lot on business and so I'm home alone most of the time. We don't have children and although I have a job, I really miss the feeling of knowing that someone will be home. I also have friends, participate in activities and do some volunteer work, so I do keep quite busy. I have debated whether or not to just quit those things, though, so that I might be able to travel more with my husband and at least see him more than I do. He has shared with me that he misses me and we do talk every night, but he's not one to ask me to quit. He is truly a wonderful man, but we are caught up in this lifestyle that just doesn't allow for much time alone together. I believe that our lines of communication are open so I have never considered seeing a counselor or a marriage counselor, and yet day after day when I'm on my way home, there's a certain sadness inside me because I know it's another night alone. We could easily manage on his salary, so I could most certainly quit my job. Do you think that's the answer? It doesn't seem like it is, but I'm willing to give anything a shot right now. My husband, like me, has a very good job and he feels very satisfied with the work he does. We both have enjoyed the luxury of careers which have been both fulfilling for us and lucrative as well. I'm just not sure what has to give at this point. Mrs. X Dear Mrs. X, I was struck by the fact that you said you had been divorced and already remarried for a couple of years. Being divorced can be a lonely existence for some and a great relief for others. After a bad marriage, some people feel the need to get back into a relationship so they feel "whole" or "normal" again. Sometimes they do this without understanding what made their first marriage fail or what will make the next relationship successful. You are remarried but don't seem to feel "whole." You may think that you and your husband have open lines of communication, but I wonder if your husband realizes how sad you are. What about him? Does he miss you and feel sad about being away from home so much? As fulfilling and lucrative as your careers may be, it must be balanced with a fulfilling home life. Whether or not you see a marriage counselor or just talk, you must figure out some way that the two of you are both happy with your careers and home life. If that doesn't happen, you may end up looking for husband number three. Please seek help if you need it and let me know what happens. happy(sometimeslonelyandsometimesrelieved)shrink
Dear Happy, Bubba took Edna to a rodeo and wild west show. They start heading down the alley that houses all the bulls. The sign on the first bull's stall stated "This bull mated 50 times last year. Edna turned to Bubba and said, "He mated 50 times in a year; isn't that nice!."
JeWitch Dear JeWitch, Edna should ask Bubba how much milk he had to pay for in the past year. happy(whypayforthemilkwhenyoucanmilkthecowforfree)shrink
Dear Happy. Talked to a therapist yesterday. She was a happy cheerful person with no clinical attitude. We agreed that I had that old favorite, genetically based general anxiety disorder. She suggested I go to a class to unlearn some anxious behavior. At first I said "No" but she charmed me into trying it out Who knows, it might work. Followed up with a Dr. visit. He prescribed Effexor in place if the Buspar which had blurred my vision. Effexor can also blur so maybe I can be happy and nearsighted. Take Care Jelleyerole Dear Jelleyerole, If the Effexor manages to reduce your anxiety, then the blurry vision might be a reasonable trade off. I also hope you are still considering that support group. A good sense of humor always helps to reduce my anxiety and it appears to me that you have that. Don't be afraid to use it. When you run that stop light, tell the police officer, "With my blurred vision, I was sure it said SHOP!" happy(doesn'talwaysSTOPbutalwaysSHOPs)shrink
Happy, Bubba & Earl were at
the Dew Drop in enjoying a beer when they decided to
get in on the weekly charity raffle. They bought five tickets
each at dollar a pop. The next week,
when the raffle was drawn, both
of them won a prize. Earl
won 1st prize, a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and
extra-long spaghetti. Bubba won 6th prize, a toilet brush. He is STUPIDER than Edna JeWitch Dear JeWitch, If you consider the fact that there's hardly ever any toilet paper in the trailer, I think Bubba's effort to use a toilet brush is quite commendable. I wonder of some of his private parts still look like russet potatoes after he uses the toilet brush? happy(playingmillenniummillionsforCharmin)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, Sometimes I get thoughts in my head and I can't get them out. Some of those thoughts are destructive, like just squeezing my lips until they pop, which I would never do because it's ridiculous. Most of the time things are fine, but sometimes these thoughts just come into my head, usually when I'm sad about something, and I just wonder why they are there. They really don't serve any purpose because the things that pop into my head are useless in reality. They don't frighten me, but I am confused as to why they come at all if they don't mean anything. Then, as quickly as they come in, they leave, and I wonder if they were really ever there in the first place. Any thoughts on what this is? Lipz Dear Lipz, Everyone has intrusive thoughts at times. For instance, when you are driving and some jerk cuts you off, you could have a moment when you picture ramming the back of his car. You would probably never do this because it's inappropriate behavior (unless you are JeWitch or one of her friends). Nonetheless, you did have that thought. Ask yourself these questions, Lipz. How often do you have these thoughts? Do they interfere with your daily routine? If you are having self-destructive or inappropriate thoughts which occupy a lot of your time and it creates undue stress, you should seek professional help before you either act on them or it becomes debilitating. One of the hallmarks of good mental health is the ability to move on from upsetting events or thoughts. If you are compulsing over the thoughts you have for a long time, it might be a good idea to see a therapist who can work with you on building the skills you need to move away from those thoughts and resume your normal activities. Let me know how things turn out for you. happy(obsessedwithgoodmentalhealth)shrink
Happy, It was awful, . I was walking down Elm street and there was a terrible accident. A man was thrown from his car and he was lying in the middle of the street. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course. I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting! JeWitch Dear JeWitch, A traumatic event like that could ruin someone's dinner, but not you! You are one hell of a survivor. happy(puttinghisheadbetweenhiskneesrightnow)shrink
Dear Happy, Sorry I missed chat. I went to see a parapsychologist speak at UT. I can't remember his name but he's been on 48 hours and a lot of TV shows. FFREAKY!! If half of what he said is true there's no doubt that ghosts exist. He had heat sensor camera shots, and magnetic readings but the most interesting thing were his stories of interviews with people who've seen ghosts and of what he's personally experienced. He definitely believes in them. The strangest story was of a family who moved into an old house. For a year all of the members of the family had seen a ghost of an old lady smiling and waving and then going on, but none of the family ever discussed it (they were keeping it secret from one another). Then one day they're twelve year old boy started talking about the history of some of the articles in the house that had belonged to the previous family. The mother asked him how he knew all of the stuff and he said "Lois told me." They then , of course, asked who Lois was and the boy said "You know the ghost that everyone's been seeing for a year but no one talks about". They then asked him how he knew that they'd been seeing him and he said "Lois told me" . The boy apparently had daily conversations with the ghost. The ghost particularly liked to talk about the history of the house and her family. They even found a family member based on where the boy said the ghost told him to look. When they found the family member, the boy could start a story about the ghosts family and the family member could finish it. The parapsychologist said they were even able to interview the ghost. The ghost could hear what was asked but no one but the boy could hear her respond. The boy would tell them what she said. During this time, the parapsychologist said that the boy started talking about the lives of himself and the two other students who were with him. He knew that one of them had been a dancer, for example, but had never met them before. He told them that the ghost found it all out when she rode into town (hopped in the car when they stopped) with them. The speaker seemed completely convinced that the boy had been speaking to a ghost. Everyone that the parapsychologist was with apparently agreed that the only way it could have been contrived is if the boy had found a set of really detailed dairies and photographically memorized them all. The boy, though, did not have a photographic memory. He was evaluated by a psychologist the psychologist said that the boy was extremely well adjusted and that "Lois" was way too complex to be an imaginary friend. Things that make you go HMMM. Bee_Balm Dear Bee_Balm, It sounds like you had a very interesting evening. It is not hard to believe that only the boy could actually hear the ghost speaking. Throughout literature, history and even the movie industry, it is children who are able to see the unseen, hear what adults cannot hear and speak to "imaginary" friends and long departed relatives. It seems that even though we strive to leave behind our "childish" ways and become adults who are mature, responsible and grounded, there isn't always that part of us that marvels at the way children perceive the world. Even after children outgrow the age of "magical" thinking and are less likely to perceive the outer world as something mystical, they continue to play through pretend games and absorb information in a much different way than we as adults are capable of doing. When I was younger, the most famous parapsychologist was a man named Hans Holzer (spelling could be off a bit). He was always very interesting and convincing. I am not 100% sold on the concept of ghosts but I'm not an "nonbeliever" either. I'm glad that you shared this experience with me and the other readers, Bee Balm. I also think it's great for you to go out instead of attending Tuesday night chat. It's not like you're going to be scared by a bunch of ghosts. happy(whatwasthattappingsoundIjustheard?)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, I just finished a load of laundry (as usual) and was wondering if there is help for "fear of static cling." Wind(pleasedon'tletmyclothessticktogether)NWillows Dear Wind, That all depends on who you are clinging to. happy(doesn'tmindalittlebitofcling)shrink
Dear Happy, Hi, ocdnetangel again. I went to counseling today, I have been really depressed for a couple days. I do not know why. Anyway he suggested I go to the doctor and see about being put on something. That there is a lot more choices today then there was years ago when I was on meds. I do not like doctors or medicine. What exactly will meds do for me, am I going to like take these and everything change? I will not wash my hands as often, check the windows and doors, I will be able to eat out of the opened bag of chips? What, I do not understand...........I do not want to deal with side effects, I DO NOT want weight gain! I would like to be less stressed, and the feelings of depression have been stronger the last few days, I could use something for that. I have had experience with meds before and they did not seem to help with the things I do, just with the intensity of my feelings when I freak out. When something is not being done right, or something is moved or touched. What kinds of meds are out there that are worth me getting up the nerve to call a doctor? ocdnet(notupformeds)angel Dear ocdnetangel, There are no meds out there that will cure OCD and there are no meds out there guaranteed not to cause any side effects. If you, like a lot of OCD sufferers subscribe to the "I want all or none" philosophy of life, then the answer will undoubtedly be none. New drugs and new combinations of drugs have been successful in reducing anxiety, depression and some of the more severe symptoms of OCD. They do not cure OCD and the results vary from person to person. I can only suggest that you meet with your psychiatrist and consider the treatment options. If they don't work, you can always stop the treatment. It comes down to this ocdnetangel. How difficult is it to live with your condition? Will the negatives of taking meds outweigh the positives? Only you can answer these two questions and only you can choose what treatment options to consider. I am more than happy to continue this dialogue if it helps you to make the right decision. happy(hasn'talwaysmadetherightdecision)shrink
Dear Happy, Trouble with
Andie again .... Little Andie was sitting on a park bench
munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on
the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that
candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, make
you fat."
Little Andie said, "My grandfather
lived to be 107 years old." The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6
candy bars at a time?" Little Andie answered, "No, he minded
his own fucking business!" What am I going to do with that boy??? From the
sound of his FILTHY FUCKING MOUTH, you would think he was JeWitch's
kid. Edna Dear Edna, In fairness to both you and your friend JeWitch, I
think I better mind my own f***ing business. happy(passtheSnickersplease)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, Thanks for the excellent job you do in answering and helping. I went to a therapist today re the anxiety and Buspar, the medication that was prescribed for the anxiety. The Buspar made my vision blurry. The therapist signed me up for a class re controlling anxiety. I was not interested but she was charming and persuasive so I'm going. A doctor talked to me and prescribed some new medication. In conclusion my anxiety is probably genetic, that's no surprise, and medication is the best way to go I'm reading William Styron's book, really an essay, titled "Darkness Visible." Styron describes his painful, debilitating experience with depression. I don't know if it is still available but he does an excellent job describing depression and it's result. I'll keep you posted as the "cure" progresses. Jellyerole Dear Jellyerole, I like the idea of a class in controlling anxiety. It is good to get the perspectives of others with similar symptoms. I am not surprised that William's Styron's essay is a good description of depression. I will check it out. He is a talented author whose best seller, "Sophie's Choice." is wonderful look at many aspects of the human psyche. Thank you for your kind words and please continue to write. Some people have told me that writing to happyshrink has therapeutic benefits. Well, most of them live in trailer parks but you never know what's going to help. happy(andalsodealingwithlife'supsanddowns)shrink
Happy, Some artists work in oils, others work with clay. I prefer Jello. JeWitch Dear JeWitch, I like Mandarin oranges and Cool Whip with my Jello. I don't like lime Jello so keep the colors red, purple or orange. Artist-schmartist.... where's my food woman? happy(there'salwaysroomforJellobutI'mnotsureaboutJeWitch)shrink
Hey Happy, Jinn is back home from Laureate, on medication and seems to be a little more human. We even wrestled and tickled each other yesterday, that was fun. Only one of those camps I looked into actually called and asked about Jinn, I talked to a human being and he was interested in helping her. He gave me a game plan on how to approach my insurance company so they might pick up the tab. Let's face it, I am not a doctor or lawyer, and most of these places wanted $5000 to $8000 a month per child. A little much don't you think? Well, maybe this guy at Wilderness Quest will work with us so we can find a way to get her there. I did a strange thing the other day, well, strange for me. I gave someone a hug without them asking for it. I just felt like they needed it, and I gave it without thinking about it. Afterwards, when I realized what I had done, I felt funny, good, but funny. I'm not sure I had ever done that before, at least not without preparing myself for the contact. Do you suppose I can ever be one of those people that can give love so freely, without an internal struggle? I would really like to move in that direction. I would really like to know what love is for me, and be able to share it with others. Anywho, life is going well, my classes are WONDERFUL, I am learning so much, and they are so gentle and kind with me. This is exactly where I need to be at this point in my growth. Love you Methos Dear Methos, I am glad that Jinn is back and that things are better between the two of you. I hope things work out with the camp but even if it doesn't, it sounds to me that you have made some important breakthroughs with your relationship. She is getting to see a stronger and more together mom and that's just what she needs right now. I am glad you are learning so much from your classes as well.... But what I am most happy about is that you are learning to ((((((HUG))))))! Now that's what I call learning something really important! Keep up the good work and keep hugging! happy((((HugstoMethos))))shrink
Dear Happy, Dear JeWitch I actually like those little scooters. I was considering buying one but It was "diplomatically" suggested to me that I should lose about 25 lbs before I consider riding one. I asked if the scooter could not support my current weight and I was told it was plenty sturdy for my weight... It's just that people seeing me ride the scooter in the streets of New York might get into car accidents when they start laughing uncontrollably. Oh well, I can still get out my old hoola hoop. happy(willingtohaveafunridewithJeWitch)shrink
Happyshrink ~ I have an unusual question for you. In discussions with a friend about Seasonal Affective Disorder, which usually occurs in the fall and winter months, I started to wonder about something. Is it possible for people that suffer from SAD to also suffer from Seasonal Affective Mania (SAM) in the spring and summer months? Carly Dear Carly, I have never heard of Seasonal Affective Mania. Seasonal Affective Disorder is a depression that seems to occur due to the shorter daylight hours. It is more common in Scandinavian countries where fall and winter has much shorter daylight times. One effective treatment of this disorder is the use of white light or simulated daylight. Bipolar disorders may have a cyclical component with regard to a manic and a depressive phase. This should not be confused with Seasonal Affective Disorder. Depressive disorders as well as mania can also emerge as a result of a "trigger." A former patient of mine would become depressed during certain holidays because of past memories. No matter how aware she was of this dynamic, it did not prevent the symptoms from returning. This too is not Seasonal Affective Disorder. I hope I have answered you question sufficiently. Please feel free to write me again. happy(inthehazylazydazeofsummer)shrink
Happy, Dear JeWitch, I guess you used up your Deal-a-Meal cards too fast again. happy(sweatingtotheoldiesandeatingtoomuchgoodies)shrink
Dear Happy, I was just wondering if not wanting anything touched, I mean the phone (in the house I have my own), hair spray, a plate, glass, silverware (all my own) is a symptom of ocd? I do not like community drinks, or food, I do not want anyone touching my food, I am unable to take food from an opened package, unless I am the one that opened it. I have a family, but am convinced I could live all alone with nobody touching anything in the house. What could these feelings be. I also feel very tense and angry when there is to much confusion and things are being touched. Like it is really going to hurt if things are touched or moved, right? Maybe this is some other problem, what do you think? thanks, ocdnetangel Dear ocdnetangel, It sounds like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to me but I would suggest you be evaluated by a psychiatrist to be sure. Your feelings of tension, anger and confusion can't be very pleasant and perhaps you can be helped. Many people with ocd feel that their "rituals" are justifiable however these rituals isolate them from other people and make them very unhappy. I would urge you to get help so you can live a complete and fulfilled life ocdnetangel. Good luck and please feel free to write me again. happy(hasjustafewrituals)shrink
Happy, Dear JeWitch, Actually, some of your ex boyfriends really appreciate the ads in the Thrifty Nickel. It's made them social climbers. happy(notlookingforahotdatebutcouldalwaysuseawarmhug)shrink
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