Postings from August 1-15, 2000
Dear Happyshrink, For a couple of years things were going great for me but then, all the sudden one day I meet up with an old boyfriend, someone I loved very much. We were to be married but he went to the service and I was to wait. I got lonely and cheated on him. This was 17 yrs ago! now that I saw him again, I cant get him out of my head , I have these panic attacks that I never had before, and depression. the doctor put me on Zoloft it helps sometimes, why after all these years do I get these attacks? and how do I control them without becoming a pill popper? Please don't use my name K? Dear "K?", Your seeing this old boyfriend has triggered something inside of you that may have been there all along but was neatly tucked away in the psyche. I am not sure if the issues are guilt, what might have been, your current relationship(s), other transgressions and/or all of the above. The process for finding out about this is psychotherapy. While taking Zoloft does not constitute your being a pill popper, it is only an aid in your treatment and not a cure. I think you need to speak with a therapist to find out what inner feelings or conflicts are stirring up your emotions and resulting in depression. As I said earlier, seeing the old boyfriend served as a trigger and is not necessarily the problem. The only way you are going to rid yourself of what is causing this depression is to work it through. Get the help you need "K?". Please feel free to write again for support, but therapy must be face to face and not on the Internet. happy(Internettofaceonly)shrink
Dear Happy, I have some advice to your readers who may sometimes feel suicidal yet too guilty or chicken-shit to take their own lives. Move to Texas. It may take 10 years or so, but George W. will make sure you get your lethal injection eventually. love, st(toochickentomovetoTexas)theresa Dear St. Theresa, Some of our United States give lethal injections, while other States make you feel like you are already in hell. I still haven't figured out which is worse. happy(lookingforsomeheavenontheInternet)shrink
Dear Happy, Why is it that every guy that one meets, who seems to be a really decent guy, when you FINALLY agree to either dinner, coffee, or just conversation, they feel free to explore their new surroundings. It's as if saying, "Sure, I'll have a cup of coffee with you" equals "Sure, feel free to explore my body, and, if you'd like, I might fuck you if you annoy me enough". I don't get it, how does one equal the other? Every day that goes by, the wall gets a foot taller, a foot wider, and more steel is added. I used to think it was me, that I was just too hard to please. Now I think it's too many of your gender have been unsocialized (present company excluded, of course). When a lady says, "Knock it off!" we mean it. When we say, "I think you're very nice, I'd like to get to know YOU" we mean it. What is with the current generation thinking? They should know better. ok-girl Dear ok-girl, As you get older, it gets tougher to meet men but there are good guys out there. Unfortunately, some of them may not be the coolest looking, they may not be the smoothest talking, and they may not give a good first impression. They may not hang out in bars and clubs. Perhaps you need to develop a strategy for meeting good people. I know it isn't easy but I also know that you are very resourceful. Keep trying. happy(nevergivesup)shrink
Happy, Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling. JeWitch Dear JeWitch, I guess your first three husbands might be considered, "unlucky guesses." Keep coming up with these gems girl. happy(LovethatWitchie)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, I worry about Dr. Peabody because I don't think he is very computer savvy. Before the recent downsizing and subsequent layoff at the local Health Care Monopoly, Dr. Peabody (Not his real name, of course) was a VP and the local press was fond of quoting him. Some of this junk made AP wire and is still floating around on the web, including on in which he mentioned the city in which he lives. The Doc is occasionally called to testify at court about the mental health of local litigants, as he is considered an x-spurt about PTSD. You can't get his phone # from the Phone Co. but with the city name you can get phone, address, e-mail, name of his daughter's swim team, even photos of oldest son at social events at the school he attends, wedding and birth announcements of son and granddaughter, etc. If I can find this stuff using my freebie internet service and my kiddie-car computer, what is to keep someone who's obsessions are less socially acceptable than mine (such as someone who didn't like what he said in court). I was just curious, and climbed the info-super-mountain just to put my cyber-flag on the top. I don't want to ask him if he is aware that all this info about his family is available, because I have more important things to talk about and I don't want him to fire me for being nosy. Any thoughts? Sincerely, Deep Feelings/ deep fears Dear Deep Feelings/ deep fears, When I told you that transference was a normal and acceptable part of the therapeutic process, I did not realize that you have gone to so many lengths to find out about your therapist. These actions on your part are very detrimental to your treatment and will eventually lead to your therapist terminating you. I'm really wondering if that isn't what you want. You can take on the concerned thoughtful person role and become the misunderstood martyr as soon as Dr. Peabody realizes that the transference issues are too intrusive to work with. While the Internet can be a vehicle for stalkers and people with malicious intent, we all live under a certain degree of danger with or without cyberspace. I urge you to stop doing what you are doing Deep Feelings. All it will lead to is deep hurts for you and someone you claim to care for. I enjoy your letters and would like to continue to respond to them. I hope you see my concerns as corrective and not punitive. happy(deepconcerns)shrink
Dear Happyshrink A young Kansas City artist, struggling to realize his dream of drawing cartoons for a living, was turned away from every newspaper he approached for a job. "Forget it," the editors told him, "you have no talent...Find yourself another career." Rejection followed rejection, until one day he found himself holed up in an old, dilapidated, mice-infested garage, penniless, seemingly without a hope for success. Having no shortage of time on his hands, he began to sketch the garage and the mice in it. he became fascinated with the little creatures, and he curiously developed a friendly relationship with them, especially one little fellow. Little did the man realize at the time just how important this relationship would be for him. The man's name was Walt Disney. The mouse's name turned out to be "Mickey," and Walt and Mickey went on to become two of the most successful entertainers in the world. (from a page in Alan Cohen's "The Dragon Doesn't Live Here Anymore") I wanted to share this with who ever is suppose to read it. Hoping they will realize that anything is possible, and that it is so many times the doubt within in ourselves, that keep us from attaining our dreams. Love to you all Methos(turningherbackondoubtandwalkingtowardherdreams) Dear Methos, We can all be thankful that the garage was "mice infested" and not "rat infested." happy(alwayswishinguponastar)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, While driving home the other night, my kids and I came up with this tongue twister. Guaranteed to make you laugh, or in some cases, drive you nuts. So.....say THIS 5 times fast if you can! WARNING: For some reason this really sticks in your head, so if you don't want to go around saying it all day, you might not want to rea....... POLLY'S POKEY PUPPY'S POCKET Oops! Too late......oh well, there are worse things to have stuck in your head all day Much Love, Wind(hopewe'llbeonspeakingtermsafterthis)NWillows Dear Wind, I hope you don't begin to suffer from "tired tongue." happy(nevertonguetied)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, I have no Insurance, No Income. I have been going to the Local Mental Health clinic, but I am not happy with the services. Because I have bi-polar disorder the doctors and therapists don't take my complaints seriously. My question is how do I convince my Doctor to quit over medicating me with out him saying, "It is my disorder making me say this?" I am at a loss, I can not go to him, but with out any money I can not change to a private doctor...Help! Amanda Dear Amanda, I don't know your condition so I can't say whether or not you might be over medicated. You do have rights as a recipient of mental health services and you also have resources besides money that can help you. First off, there is a Mental Health Advocate's office in your State. Your clinic is required by law to furnish you with a phone number to call if you have a complaint about their services. It is usually posted but if you don't see it, ask your therapist for the number. He/she is required to give it to you. In addition, you might want to contact the local chapter of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI). To access their web page click here. From the home page, you can find out where the nearest affiliate is located in your area. They provide names of people and phone numbers in just about every county in your state. They provide advocacy as well as information about alternative resources, support groups and other valuable help. It is a very informative and useful web site and you will get to speak to people who have had similar experiences. Good luck Amanda. Let me know what kind of progress you make. happy(advocatingforrespectandcompassion)shrink
Happy, This year I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad. Bubba Dear Bubba, Have you considered becoming the "poster boy" for the gun control lobby? happy(gunsdon'tkillpeople....idiotsdo!)
Dear Happyshrink, I have been bravely doing battle with HMO and also with a Behavioral Health Center which laid off my therapist a couple of months into my therapy with him. Through a lot of begging, or divine intervention or what-have-you, I have managed to get my HMO to agree to let me continue treatment with this Psychologist who has since set up a private practice. Three months later they have yet to pay the man a cent and I feel quite bad about this as I know he is just getting started with this practice. It is embarrassing and I feel like the HMO is setting me up for eventual premature termination of my treatment. I think there is something special about him and wish I had met him under some other circumstances because I like him and wish I could talk to him about other things, not just about me. He says that this is transference and that the therapeutic relationship creates a vacuum into which I deposit my fantasies about him which are really about someone else. Why can't I have real feelings about him? He's not invisible! I can see the kind of character that he has and appreciate his many positive qualities. I'm not blind or stupid, and I don't work for an HMO!! To tie both halves of this tale together, I have tried to pay him for his services but he says the HMO contract requires that he be paid by them directly. I don't understand why he buys into the transference bit but doesn't buy into the concept that therapy doesn't work unless the patient pays for it. Aren't these two sides of the same coin, or two shifts in the same paradigm, two parts of the same parcel, two metaphors with the same simile, or is sometimes a cigar just a cigar? Supershrink is on the traditional August Vacation, so I am turning to Happyshrink for solace and advice in my time of no appointments. Sincerely, Depressed, Anxious and Loathing August Dear Depressed, Anxious and Loathing August, HMO's are notorious for delaying payments to private therapists even when they agree to pay. If your therapist took money from you (unless it was a co-payment that was sanctioned by the HMO), he would be violating his agreement with the HMO and it would give them a "legitimate" reason to refuse payment. I am sure that your therapist knows that he will eventually get his fee from the HMO and is not worried about it. Of course there is your worry about him, and that is a transference issue. You do need to talk about your feelings towards him because it is important to your treatment as well as what you want in relationships outside of therapy. Having warm feelings about therapists are common and quite understandable. People who are in the business of psychotherapy are usually kind, compassionate and thoughtful people. If you were going to pick a good friend to have, a therapist would be a pretty good choice. The concept of transference does not mean that feelings are unreal. It just means that it is also an indication of things that are lacking in your life right now. Wouldn't it be great to have a good friend who is always patient with you and listens to you when you have a difficult day? Someone who is honest, loyal and has your best interests at heart? Perhaps that is something that has been lacking in previous relationships. Your therapist may not be a friend, but he is an ally. Finding friends with his qualities may not be easy, but that's one of the things you can try to do during the dog days of August as well as the rest of the year. By the way.... #askhappyshrink on Tuesdays at 8:30 EDT is not going on vacation in August so you might find a few friends as well as allies there. happy(alliedforcesfirstclass)shrink
Dear Happy, I know why gas prices went up so high this year. God was punishing all those miserable SUV and truck drivers who think they ALWAYS have the right away simply by virtue of their vehicle's size. The gas price thing didn't work, so God is fucking with their tires now. That's just ONE MORE REASON to let me have the right of way, all you nasty SUV drivers with your cell phones and your attitudes! Why do you think it's FIRESTONE that is having a recall? It's a SIGN -- the "fire" stands for HELL and "stone" stands for "people drive glass houses"...um, no, that isn't it.... WHATEVER! Maybe it's that thing Moses had to chisel the 10 Commandments in. I think you get my point.... love, st(thankGODmybrakeswork)theresa Dear st. theresa I can tell you are angry and frustrated and I would like to let you know what I do to get out my frustration with elitist SUV drivers. I like to go to mall parking lots where I can find an SUV that takes up 2 spaces so no one will harm the precious paint surface. Then I park about two inches away from it.....on the driver's side. My 1991 Toyota gets to have a few extra dings on it, but it's worth it. Jeez.....I'm sounding more like you and JeWitch every day! happy(screwthosebastards)shrink
HappyShrink, What a name? Are you really an MD? I have been trying to find a chat room or find information regarding pregnancy and Effexor. Basically all that is out there is that it is Class C and there are no studies. Would be nice to find other women that have been on the med and have gotten pregnant or planned pregnancy while taking. Wyatt Ayerst was no help. I have two differing opinions from two psychiatrists that I have seen. If you have heard good or bad news regarding this, I would love to hear it. Thanks! Nicole Dear Nicole, I am not an MD. Do you think an MD would be willing to give free advice on the Internet? I'm a clinical social worker and psychotherapist with over 20 year of experience in mental health. As far as the name "happyshrink" the domain for "miserableshrink.com" was already taken. Ok enough frivolity; lets get to your question. Effexor is in an unusual drug classification in that it doesn't fit into the category of SSRI even though it works like one. I have not seen any conclusive clinical information about the use of Effexor during pregnancy. I did find a study of it's use in laboratory animals that found the following: "Venlafaxine (Effexor) did not cause malformations in offspring of rats or rabbits given doses up to 11 times (rat) or 12 times (rabbit) the maximum recommended human daily dose on a mg/kg basis, or 2.5 times (rat) and 4 times (rabbit) the human daily dose on a mg/m2 basis. However, in rats, there was a decrease in pup weight, an increase in stillborn pups, and an increase in pup deaths during the first 5 days of lactation, when dosing began during pregnancy and continued until weaning. The cause of these deaths is not known. These effects occurred at 10 times (mg/kg) or 2.5 times (mg/m2) the maximum human daily dose. The no effect dose for rat pup mortality was 1.4 times the human dose on a mg/kg basis or 0.25 times the human dose on a mg/m2 basis. There are no adequate and well-controlled studies in pregnant women. Because animal reproduction studies are not always predictive of human response, this drug should be used during pregnancy only if clearly needed." Generally speaking, the less medications you are on during pregnancy the better however, any benefits derived by going off medications can be negated by returning symptoms of panic attacks and depression which may occur if you go off the meds completely. I would try to have a three way conversation between you, your obstetrician and your psychiatrist. I will also ask anyone reading this web page to email me information that they might have. Good luck with the baby. happy(mostofthetime)shrink
Dear happy, There is a story about a man who left this earth and was taken on a tour of the inner realms. he was shown a room where he saw a large group of hungry people trying to eat dinner, but because the spoons that they were trying to eat with were longer than their arms, they remained frustrated. "This," his guide told him, "is hell." "That's terrible!" exclaimed the man; "Please show me Heaven!" "Very well," agreed the guide, and on they went. When they opened Heaven's door, the man was perplexed to see what looked very much like the same scene: there was a group of people with spoons longer than their arms. As he looked more closely, however, he saw happy faces and full tummies, for there was one important difference: the people in Heaven had learned to feed each other. by Alan Cohen...... Thought maybe someone out there might need to see this, I know I did. Methos(thankfulHappyfedherwhenshewashungry) Dear Methos, It's always nice to feed people. You are always fed back in return. happy(andwellfed)shrink
Happy, Edna got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like. JeWitch P.S. I think we ALL need to be a little more choosy with our words ... I don't REALLY like hurting people's feelings. Dear JeWitch, Try not to eat dinner with Edna during the summer months. Road kill doesn't stay quite as fresh because of the hot weather. Maybe the two of you can go to a nice luncheonette and learn to feed each other. happy(gettingsicktomystomach)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, In response to hh's letter, here is something that might make her feel a WHOLE LOT BETTER. There is a law that an employer can NOT give a bad reference ... AT THE VERY MOST .. the employer can say that they WILL or will NOT hire that person again. Where I work the personnel department won't even say that .. REASON IS: TOO MANY LAWSUITS !!! So get out there and find yourself a NEW JOB hh. Your employer can ONLY say nice things .. that is if they choose to say ANYTHING AT ALL more than "YES, hh works here." I was going to make some sarcastic comment here about Edna ... but FOR ONCE I am being serious ... Look on the bright side of things RR. Let's say AT WORST .. your employer says HORRIBLE THINGS ABOUT YOU. Bright side being,
LAWSUIT
!!! GET RICH QUICK !!! RETIRE NOW !!!
JeWitch. Dear JeWitch, I believe hh was really concerned with her own self-esteem. If I had to guess, her bosses would write really nice things about her because she is very conscientious and hard working. But your information is very valuable JeWitch to many people out there who get ragged on by their former employers. If anyone feels that they were give unfair and negative references by a former employer should seek the counsel of an attorney. I don't know if you can retire from the money you get, but you can protect your good name and reputation. Good advice JeWitch! happy(nowI'veseeneverything)shrink
Happy, We used to laugh at Daddy when he'd head off and go fishing. But we wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some whore he picked up in town. Lucy Gail Hoppenstetter Dear Lucy, Well it explains why he smelled like fish all the time. happy(goingfishing)shrink
Dear Happy-shrink, Why do shrinks (happy or otherwise) think that they are invisibile? My shrink thinks that I cannot see him and therefore if I have any feelings toward him they are automatically about someone else and could not possibly be about him. I think that I am a very observant person and can see enough of him to have feelings that are not about someone else. Any thoughts? Since I can't see you, I know you can't see me... Sincerely, Deep Feelings Dear Deep Feelings, The feelings you have for your therapist can be about him as well as someone else. Therapists often take on a nurturing role in treatment as well as being a good listener and confidant. The feelings that one experiences towards someone like that can be similar to the feelings you may have for a parent, spouse, lover or friend. The term for that, as you know is transference. Therapists though, have feelings about you too. Patients share their most intimate experiences, thoughts and feelings with us and we can't help but have deep feelings for this person as well. We also go through things like struggling relationships, divorce, parenting problems and yes, even depression. We can easily get caught up in our own issues when dealing with a patient. That is known as counter-transference. Good therapists are aware of their feelings and understand when they can be helpful in the process of treatment, or harmful. Less experienced therapists may avoid dealing with transference and counter-transference issues because they are unsure about how to deal with them. I can't comment on you therapist Deep Feelings, but my advice to you is to continue the dialogue. It is an important part of the treatment process and there is a good deal of learning that both you and he can gain from the experience. Please keep me updated on your progress. happy(sometimeshastoomanyfeelings)shrink
Dear Happy, Have you ever noticed that our buttocks and our faces are very similar? Both have two cheeks with a hole in between. Generally, you can tell which is which by what comes out of the hole. But with some people, it all sounds the same.... st(notjusttalkingshit)theresa Dear St. Theresa, I'll try to cut down on those refried beans I've been eating lately. Then only one opening will be making stupid sounds. happy(Whaassssup?....havin'aBud..watchin'thegame)shrink
Dear Happy, I have been working at my job for almost a year (I graduated college last June) and it is very stressful. My therapist says that he can tell I don't like my job and that I should look for another one. He's right, but I fear and dread to ask people for references. That's a big reason it took me so long to get a job in the first place. My job causes me a LOT of stress and I would quit tomorrow if I thought I had better options (I had another bad day and I can't put it out of my mind). I just feel so guilty about having to ask other people to describe me. I think, compared to other people I lack a lot. hh Dear hh, Asking for a reference is like asking someone if they like you. It is difficult for many people. You are not alone. There may not be an easy way to get over the discomfort of asking people for a reference, but mor important you need to look at your positive side more. Could you write me your own reference, giving me the qualities and skills you possess? You might be surprised to find out that you are better than you think. Don't compare yourself to other people you work with either. They have years of experience. What do you think they would say about you? It's probably better than you think. Send me your own reference and maybe we can make you feel less lacking. happy(stilllackingafteralltheseyears)shrink
Happy, Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the person screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because ................ WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING ?? JeWitch Dear JeWitch, You really do need to get out more often and to better neighborhoods. happy(NoJeWitch....youwouldnotmakeagoodsocialworker)shrink
Hi Happy, I finally got in touch with my 'eyeball' shrink today. She won't be able to see me until 2 weeks from now. In the meantime I looked up 'eustress' on the web. I found a couple of links I wanted to pass on. The first one is for all those people who want more information about laughter and health, http://library.thinkquest.org/25500/index2.htm This next one is for those moms with ADHD kids,http://www.childspirit.com/ For myself, I think I need to do more physical activity and sleep more. That should help the stress overload, even if it's good stress I've had more than I can handle in the last couple of weeks. cnot(notfeelingverylogicalrightnow) Dear cnot, Even though you may not be "feeling" very logical, you are doing logical things. You made an appointment with your therapist and you are also getting information about stress. Eustress, for those who may not know, is what may be thought of as "good" stress. This could be getting a new job or promotion, having a baby or grandchild, starting a new venture, etc. When so many things are happening, even when they are good, it can put us on overload. Physical activity, getting enough sleep and good nutrition are very helpful responses to eustress. I should take that advise, since there is a lot of eustress in my life right now too. Thanks for the links to web sites. I particularly liked the first one about laughter and health. There is a lot of interesting as well as amusing stuff on it. The second site is more of a commercial endorsement of a book on parenting an ADD child, but it did have useful information and I recommend that parents of ADD and ADHD kids check it out. As always cnot, live long and prosper. happy(vulcanshavemorefunthesedays)shrink
Happy, If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, do you think you should buck him off right away ? JeWitch Dear JeWitch, That would depend on how much money he has. happy(won'tbeclimbingonanyhorsesinthenearfuture)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, Things are okay. I was talking to this girl, we have had several conversations, one of which was 4 hours, and so since she was no longer with her boyfriend I asked her out for dinner. I could not have picked a better time, she had a funeral to go to that night, her friend of same age died of cancer, this was on a Wednesday and the date I was proposing was on a Friday. Anyhow, she said she would talk about it later, later never came. I saw an opportunity, expecting very little, and acted upon it. Someone I worked with was being laid-off. I used (still) to like this person and I found out about a job opportunity and so I used the phone book and called her. Hesitant at first to speak, we started talking about movies and such and she was quite receptive. she prepared her resume and I sat at home, upset because it was Friday, and no "get back to you" occurred, but she was hanging out with her ex! Saturday I was expecting a call from the resume person, never happened. I cleaned the apartment because I was expecting her to drop off her resume and maybe sit and chat, and the other girl was out with the ex again. So Saturday I sunk low. Sunday I received my awaiting phone call, so excited I hurried up and tidied up the place. It was raining out and she and her little girl, it was so cute, came with their raincoats on. I met them at the stairwell, it is a private entrance apartment, but it was sheltered by the roof. and like an idiot I sat outside and talked to her, we were under the roof on the walkway, and did not invite her in. As she left I fell lower, saying to myself "come back, please come back". Monday I searched the web for job info and links to job postings for her, called her to tell her what I found, offered to drop it off, but she declined. She said she was in her Pj's. she said she would call Tuesday and pick it up then. I had to leave work early Tuesday because I was ready to burst into tears or snap or something. She came over, and I remembered to let her in, offered her a drink but she had to go to a friend's, so it was small talk for about 5 minutes. The other girl came home while they were in my doorway. When they left I noticed her outside her apartment watching. I passed by while she was home and no "oh, sorry for not getting back to you" or anything. My keyboard has been broken since Sunday so I can't get out the emotions and finish working on this tune I have been writing. This morning is the same as yesterday. what the hell is going on? I feel like going home, laying out my suit on my bed, hoping into the empty tub, popping a couple veins, and going to sleep. Why was she surprised when I asked her out for Friday, it was just dinner, okay she had a funeral to attend, but no return comment? And why does it hurt to see the other with her daughter, they both make me feel terrible. I want to have someone, a family, and it appears that "someone" does not want this. It is like if you get what you want you enjoy it then they take it away from you: I finally get someone, I become happy, then I find out I have cancer and one month to live OR I live forever but alone and miserable- but still willing to do anything for people- it just does not make any sense to me! RR Dear RR, I think you make the mistake that a lot of men make when trying to date women. You try and become their friend first and then you try to date them. That does work sometimes, but more often, once a women sees you as a friend, it's hard to change their mind set. If you are a nice guy RR, you don't have to do anything to prove it. Find social situations where you can ask women out without the notion that you will do nice things for them. You need to convey that you want to get to know them better and you are worthwhile getting to know better too. Perhaps this is at the heart of the problem. Do you feel you are worthwhile getting to know without having to give something to prove it? Clearly you need to look into better social opportunities, but maybe even more important is getting some help in therapy. You sound depressed and defeated. That's not going to get you anywhere and you need to fix that situation, before you can consider being in a relationship. Get the help you need RR. You are not a jinx, but if you believe you are, then it can become a self-fulfilling prophesy. Please feel free to write again. happy(butalwaysneedstorworkonbeinghappy)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory. The personnel manager explains her duties, and tell her to report to work promptly at 8:00am. The next day at 8:45am, there's a knock at the personnel manager's door. The assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting about this new employee. He says she's incredibly slow, and the whole line is backing up. The foreman takes the personnel manager down to the factory floor to show him the problem. Sure enough, Elmos are backed up all over the place. At the end of the line is the new employee. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles, and starts sewing the little package between Elmo's legs. The personnel manager starts laughing hysterically. After several minutes, he pulls himself together, walks over to the woman and says, "I'm sorry, i guess you misunderstood me yesterday. your job is to give Elmo two test tickles. So how was your day? Methos(givinghappytwotesttickles) Dear Methos, I always like it when you tickle me. happy(sufferfromElmoenvy)shrink Dear Happy, Every year I've been getting my yearly vehicle inspection at the same service station. Every year, my car fails. Especially after I accidentally hit a guy who works there 7 years ago. Oops, wrong pedal. Every year, I get THIS guy...so no WONDER I fail! Well, today it was time for my inspection. I pull up...it's THAT GUY AGAIN! Thank GOD it's summer. I took off my shirt, leaving just a sports bra on. I strolled up to him, looked him right in the eye (well, I tried to...he was looking at my 36C's) and sweetly asked for an inspection. MY CAR PASSED! I drove away with my loud exhaust and squeaky brakes with a great feeling of relief (and proud of the power of my boobs.) Sometimes being a woman ain't so bad. love, st(andIthoughttheywereonlygoodforfeedingbabies!)theresa P.S. 13 years ago, I got a car passed because of my GRATEFUL DEAD bumper sticker. The mechanic was a deadhead. Hehe. Dear St. Theresa, Ditch the sports bra and you may get free oil and lube too! Keep on truckin! happy(neverneedsalubejobbutcanthinkofotherjobs)shrink
BC writes back: Dear Happy, You asked for me to keep you informed, so here I am. I failed to take your advice and did not talk to my boyfriend about my STD when I saw him this past weekend. The more I thought about it, the more selfish it seemed. We did not have *any* time alone together, so I felt just a slight bit better about not saying anything. I felt it was the best thing to do, given the situation. He was surrounded by friends, family, superior officers and constant chaos for the two days I got to see him. I do believe that honesty is the best policy, but I will wait until next time I talk to him, when he hasn't got so much going on around him. He has said he will try to call me in a week when he's stationed in another state. He also asked if I would come out in a month for some time, just me and him. I will, more than likely, say something then. Besides, if he has it, he has it and I can't change that. I hope you're not disappointed. I don't like being dishonest, and I think withholding important information is dishonest, but I also felt it would stress him out even more than he already was. I could only imagine him being angry and asking why I didn't just wait until we got time alone to say something. Thanks for your advice. Now, how do I relieve all the stress and pressure in every other aspect of my life? ;) Just teasing. Maybe it's time to get one-on-one therapy, huh? Thanks for the help, BC Dear BC, I'm not disappointed with you. This is not an easy situation and I can certainly understand your reluctance to talk to your boyfriend about it. Actually, I feel worse for you because you are still burdened with having to tell your boyfriend about contracting STD and worrying about his response. If you have stress in other aspects of your life, this can only make things seem even worse. Hopefully, you will find the right time and place to speak with him soon. Since you brought up the topic of getting into therapy BC, it wouldn't hurt to give it a try. Let me know what you think. happy(tryityou'lllikeit)shrink
Happy, Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done. JeWitch PS ... Is it too soon to tell if my anger management course is working ? Dear JeWitch, Yes it's way too early to expect change. In your case you may need to give it a good 20-25 years before we "scratch" the surface. happy(itchinglikecrazy)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, Is there any way to mourn the loss of a car? It might sound really ridiculous, but I am a car person, and always treat my vehicle with the anal-retentiveness that a mother gives to a child. Anyway, just a few weeks ago, I was driving home with three of my friends, and I was hit by a drunk driver. Thank God all four of us were okay, but my car (A 1995 Nissan Maxima GLE) was totally destroyed, and it was the complete fault of that drunken bastard. I really loved my car; I just put in a premium 2 thousand dollar sound system and had extensive bodywork done on it. Now it's gone. And even though money is coming from the Insurance companies, I know I'm not going to be able to drive a car like that for a long long time. I'm now driving a 1986 Mercedes. It's nice, but it's nothing compared to the Maxima. So how do I feel better after the loss of my most prized piece of sheet metal? Thanks, Your Moron Son. Dear Moron Son, Cars symbolize a very important passage into adulthood for most teenagers; especially males. You may let your room look like a car wreck, but your car was your pride and joy. It was part of your identity and all the fixing up you did for it was in a sense your personal statement to the world. I know you are thankful that you and your friends were spared serious injury and perhaps worse. But that doesn't take away from the loss of an object that had really been like a friend more than a piece of metal. In a way, the car returned love back to you. It performed dutifully to the very end, deploying it's air bags, keeping the body frame intact, and preventing the windshield and other windows from shattering, thus saving the lives of you and your friends. Time will pass and your sense of loss will diminish, but I hope you will always remember your Maxima. I hope when all is said and done Moron Son, this experience will one that you will gain insight from. Experiences like these give all of us an appreciation of how precious life is and how uncertain our future can be even when we make all the right decisions and plan for it. Keep making the right decisions and keep planning. Then hope for the best. happy(Itoldyounottobestupid)shrink
Happy, When I came to your clinic party on the fourth of July, I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in her hand, pretending she's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality. Edna Dear Edna, She wasn't pretending. It was an "all you can eat" luncheon and some of the women just got carried away. You did fit in real well though. Hope you can make it to the Labor Day barbecue. happy(passthecoleslaw)shrink
Hi Everybody; I'm back. Dear Happyshrink, I am a 29 year old female who has been diagnosed with a sleeping disorder. My question is why my doctor would prescribe Celexa for me. I have been trying to do some research on the medication and have found the only treatment that Celexa is used for is depression. I also looked up some information on different sleep disorders and have not found any information pointing to the use of Celexa being used for sleeping disorders. Any information would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance. Jen Dear Jen, Your doctor may believe that your sleep problems are due to depression. That can be the case however, I would be interested to know if you were diagnosed by your family doctor or you went to a clinic that specializes in sleep disorders. If you feel your sleep problems may be related to some emotional stress, then I would recommend your being evaluated by a psychiatrist. If you don't think this is the case, there are sleep disorder clinics in most parts of the country. Do some research for the one nearest you and have yourself evaluated by specialists. Lastly, has the Celexa made a difference? That should also be a factor in considering your options. Good luck and let me know what you find out. happy(lookingatalloptions)shrink
Dear Happyshrink, I am having a constant pain just below my right rib cage. some times it is so sharp it almost takes me to my knees. What could this possibly be? TD Dear TD, I am not a medical doctor and I would urge you to see one. It sounds like something that could be serious. Don't wait for it to go away or try to find a diagnosis on the Internet. See a medical doctor now! happy(leavingmedicalproblemstomedicalprofessionals)shrink
Happy, If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr.. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward. Edna Dear Edna, Me too. happy(HEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLPPPPPP!!!!!)shrink
Back to "Ask Happyshrink" Home Page Back to most current postings
|
